alarm clock etiquette

[Anonymous]

This is an ongoing issue for us. DH has the loudest alarm clock imaginable. It goes off with both a loud static noise AND loud talk radio. I am admittedly a light sleeper, but there's no way anyone can sleep through this thing.

The issue is that DH gets up really early on the weekend at least one day to play golf, and often forgets to turn it off the other day. He also gets up earlier than I have to during the week. So I'm awakened much earlier than I have to be pretty much every day. During the week it's not as big of a deal because I need to get up about 20 minutes after he does, but it really is frustrating on the weekend. Sometimes he even gets up before the alarm goes off, then goes into the bathroom to shower so I have to physically get up to turn it off.

I've explained to DH that it bothers me but he blames it all on me being a light sleeper. I use my FitBit as an alarm clock (it vibrates on my wrist) and he has one too which I've suggested he use but he says he doesn't want to. I've also asked him to use the alarm on his phone instead of the foghorn he currently uses. No to that too.

I think there are two issues--the first being that I'm getting less sleep than I should be due to his choice. The second being I'm asking him to make a small change that would mean a lot to me and would take very little effort for him to do, but he is still refusing. He's putting his desire to keep his ridiculously loud alarm clock over my sleep.

I know this seems like a ridiculous thing to care about, but I need all the sleep I can get!! I've tried buying him a new alarm clock but he doesn't use it. He likes what's familiar to him, but every time it goes off I feel resentful toward him.

How do you handle alarm clocks in your bedroom? Each person is allowed to have whatever they want, or are the needs of the other person taken into account?

[Anonymous]

I try to use a very lightly noisy alarm clock since I get up well before DH. If I wake before the alarm goes off I shut it off. I hate waking him up, it seems unfair.

But, then, I'm not a selfish jerk.

[Anonymous]

He needs a bedroom of his own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He needs a bedroom of his own.

+1 you need to sleep apart unless he can stop being a selfish ass.

[Anonymous]

Muthafocka gets the couch

[Anonymous]

Get an alarm clock that starts out softy so it doesn't blow you out of the bed. As soon as you hear it give him a good kick and then fall back asleep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Muthafocka gets the couch

Yup

[Anonymous]

He may need a loud alarm clock but that is ZERO reason to subject you to it too. Super wrong on many levels. And the weekend and not even in the room times are heinous. He needs to find another solution but if he chooses not to-he moves out of the bedroom.

[Anonymous]

Step 1: If he’s up, he needs to turn off the alarm when he leaves bed.

Become successful at that, then work on the mode of alarm on weekdays.

[Anonymous]

You need to take control of the day you sleep in and before you go to bed the night you want to sleep in, you make sure that f***ing alarm clock is off.

He's an idiot, but you need to handle this.

[Anonymous]

My husband likes to turn on his alarm on the weekends too except he doesn’t get up for another two hours. Drives me nuts. I told him next time he wakes me up like that I will make his ass get up and get out of the house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to take control of the day you sleep in and before you go to bed the night you want to sleep in, you make sure that f***ing alarm clock is off.

He's an idiot, but you need to handle this.

OP here. After reading the responses here I told DH that I’m asking him to find a substitute for his terrible alarm. I told him he can choose to say no, but he will find that it has disappeared so he’ll have no choice. Passive aggressive? Maybe. Worth it? Definitely.

[Anonymous]

Is he worried he won’t hear it? Can you get a more tolerable one and experiment with it on a weekend day where he doesn’t have a commitment and see if he wakes up to it? (Maybe that would help with any fears of sleeping through it.)

My DH get up for work three hours earlier than I do (he’s a cop and works a shift that starts very early) and I too am a light sleeper and have trouble falling back to sleep. Melatonin has helped and just adjusting over time. He can’t control this though...there are some of us who have no choice but to deal with it (and he only has a Sat/Sun weekend off every 4 weeks so this always happens on the weekends too).

[Anonymous]

Can you get him a fitbit or Apple Watch to wear to bed that will just buzz his wrist until he wakes up?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you get him a fitbit or Apple Watch to wear to bed that will just buzz his wrist until he wakes up?

MY DH wears one of these and it still wakes me up and he just rolls over and goes back to sleep