I’m not attracted to my husband

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[Post New]10/14/2018 11:32
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Anonymous
Married 5 years with a 2 year old. He’s a good guy who works hard for the family. I have a healthy libido but I’m just not attracted to him. I used to be, but something changed and I’m not sure what it is. I can point to superficial things (he’s about 20 lbs overweight and doesn’t take care of his teeth, so they’re yellow and full of tartar) but I don’t think that’s it because when I met him he was at least 60 lbs overweight and I was attracted to him anyway. We haven’t had sex in 5 weeks and it’s really starting to hurt our relationship. I love him and don’t want to get divorced but I don’t know what to do.
[Post New]10/14/2018 11:36
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Anonymous
Grow up and realize without sex you're basically roommates. Think of Jason Momoa if you have to, but work on reconnecting your attraction circuits towards your husband or you will get divorced.
[Post New]10/14/2018 11:40
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Married 5 years with a 2 year old. He’s a good guy who works hard for the family. I have a healthy libido but I’m just not attracted to him. I used to be, but something changed and I’m not sure what it is. I can point to superficial things (he’s about 20 lbs overweight and doesn’t take care of his teeth, so they’re yellow and full of tartar) but I don’t think that’s it because when I met him he was at least 60 lbs overweight and I was attracted to him anyway. We haven’t had sex in 5 weeks and it’s really starting to hurt our relationship. I love him and don’t want to get divorced but I don’t know what to do.


Fake it until you make it. Also, how much time do you spend alone or connecting with him? When is the last time you had date night? spent a weekend away together? You have to invest in your relationship...he, for example, can’t be his funny or witty self that you were attracted to if you do not make time for just the two of you.
[Post New]10/14/2018 11:54
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Anonymous
1) Make appointment with a dentist.
2) Join a gym and start walking together.
3) Fake till you make it is good advice.
[Post New]10/14/2018 11:59
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Anonymous
Agree with what others have posted. Also, it won't ever be what it once was. Things and people change. Once kids are introduced, so are a slew of other issues. All I can suggest is that you both talk and make changes. GL, OP.
[Post New]10/14/2018 12:11
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Anonymous
It's easy to get bored having sex with the same person for many years and it's easy to come up with superficial reasons for it. Is no one initiating? Get on the internet and find a bunch of ways to spice up your sex life and there are hundreds of way to do it. A little mind blowing sex can do wonders for a relationship. We've been married over 30 years and we both still like to come back for more.
[Post New]10/14/2018 15:05
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:It's easy to get bored having sex with the same person for many years and it's easy to come up with superficial reasons for it. Is no one initiating? Get on the internet and find a bunch of ways to spice up your sex life and there are hundreds of way to do it. A little mind blowing sex can do wonders for a relationship. We've been married over 30 years and we both still like to come back for more.


People aren't wired the way they once were. No one wants to struggle. No one wants to put in work. They want to be spoon fed their entire life. Hence why the divorce rate is where it's at, and why more and more people are single until they croak.
[Post New]10/14/2018 15:09
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Anonymous
yeah, I don't think I am either. And I don't think my dh likes me very much either. We are muddling though and hoping we can tolerate each other once the kids are older. Maybe schedule a date night? Try to remember the things that attracted you to him in the first place?
[Post New]10/14/2018 15:15
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:yeah, I don't think I am either. And I don't think my dh likes me very much either. We are muddling though and hoping we can tolerate each other once the kids are older. Maybe schedule a date night? Try to remember the things that attracted you to him in the first place?


Do you go out together to grocery shop? School events for the kids? Do you have sex often?
[Post New]10/14/2018 15:25
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:yeah, I don't think I am either. And I don't think my dh likes me very much either. We are muddling though and hoping we can tolerate each other once the kids are older. Maybe schedule a date night? Try to remember the things that attracted you to him in the first place?


Do you go out together to grocery shop? School events for the kids? Do you have sex often?


No, not efficient with two kids. Yes. Never (I want to, he doesn't/can't.)
[Post New]10/14/2018 15:34
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:yeah, I don't think I am either. And I don't think my dh likes me very much either. We are muddling though and hoping we can tolerate each other once the kids are older. Maybe schedule a date night? Try to remember the things that attracted you to him in the first place?


Do you go out together to grocery shop? School events for the kids? Do you have sex often?


No, not efficient with two kids. Yes. Never (I want to, he doesn't/can't.)


Sorry to hear. I'm sure he hates that he can't. I can't imagine being married and not having sex regularly. I'm 27, and hope my plumbing stays healthy long after I hit age 70.
[Post New]10/14/2018 15:40
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Married 5 years with a 2 year old. He’s a good guy who works hard for the family. I have a healthy libido but I’m just not attracted to him. I used to be, but something changed and I’m not sure what it is. I can point to superficial things (he’s about 20 lbs overweight and doesn’t take care of his teeth, so they’re yellow and full of tartar) but I don’t think that’s it because when I met him he was at least 60 lbs overweight and I was attracted to him anyway. We haven’t had sex in 5 weeks and it’s really starting to hurt our relationship. I love him and don’t want to get divorced but I don’t know what to do.


five weeks. wait until its 5 months,.. in in the same boat. My DH doesn't;t even initiate.
[Post New]10/14/2018 15:45
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Married 5 years with a 2 year old. He’s a good guy who works hard for the family. I have a healthy libido but I’m just not attracted to him. I used to be, but something changed and I’m not sure what it is. I can point to superficial things (he’s about 20 lbs overweight and doesn’t take care of his teeth, so they’re yellow and full of tartar) but I don’t think that’s it because when I met him he was at least 60 lbs overweight and I was attracted to him anyway. We haven’t had sex in 5 weeks and it’s really starting to hurt our relationship. I love him and don’t want to get divorced but I don’t know what to do.


five weeks. wait until its 5 months,.. in in the same boat. My DH doesn't;t even initiate.


I wish I could be in your DH's shoes. I'd initiate every night.
[Post New]10/14/2018 16:39
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Anonymous
What has changed in the last 5 weeks?

Be honest. New hot neighbor or coworker?

Did he make a stupid comment about Kavanaugh?

Something happened what is it?
[Post New]10/14/2018 16:52
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Anonymous
NP. Those of you who are saying fake it til you make it are giving me hope...does that actually work?
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