Anyone here dated or married a pastor?

[Anonymous]

There’s something about religious authority figures that makes me find them really attractive. Just wanted to know what it’s like dating/marrying a religious leader and how they differ from other men.

Thank you

[Anonymous]

Lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lol

Why the ‘Lol’?

[Anonymous]

My pastor's wife always seemed to be the most miserable woman around so take that for what it's worth.

[Anonymous]

I get it. I have a huge crush on my pastor and know quite a few men in the ministry. Tbh, though, in real life they are mostly big nerds.

[Anonymous]

They aren't different. They probably have just as many affairs, too.

[Anonymous]

I only know one pastor really well. they have a lot of kids and the wife seems so depressed. They move around the country following his job. She's with the kids all week and then on Saturdays he has alone time to prepare his sermon and cut the grass. He basically leaves all other house and kid rearing to the wife. Then they go to church on Sunday and she has to act all happy. I feel awful for her.

[Anonymous]

The use of the word "religious leader" in OP's post gave me the Jim Jones/Shoko Asahara vibe.

[Anonymous]

Why are their wives depressed and miserable? I’d assume pastors practice what they preach in their own homes.

If they counsel others in the community like couples, why can’t they fix their own marriage?

I always have this thought that people who are spiritual and work on improving themselves will be different than the rest. So I don’t get how pastors are no different than other men

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get it. I have a huge crush on my pastor and know quite a few men in the ministry. Tbh, though, in real life they are mostly big nerds.

Why do so many women feel attracted to religious leaders? What’s the deal?

[Anonymous]

I did. I'm not a religious person so even though we dated for years (pre-his decision to enter the ministry and during the beginning) so it didn't work out. He was pretty hypocritical: was a big drinker and cheated on me. Cheated on his first wife and had a child as part of one of those encounters. Currently married to an older, wealthy and unattractive woman who is thrilled to be the "first lady". Maybe he's changed.

Anyway, I think women tend to be attracted to men in positions of power. No big surprise there.

[Anonymous]

I am a minister. When you are in a church, it's a really stressful job. Or at least I thought it was. Delivering sermons on Sunday morning is the easiest part of the job. Running a non-profit and answering to a board is the hard part. The drama in a church can be ridiculous both with congregants and with staff. It often feels like you never make everyone happy. People complain about the music (too traditional vs too contemporary), the temperature, the budget, the children's/youth programs, the service times, order of service, ....just on and on. You have to be really good at not taking things personally. It's a tough job when you have a family. Saturdays are prep days. Sundays are exhausting. I tried to always take Mondays off. You are on call all the time - serious illness, death, family crisis,....just constantly responding to crisis. Having a supportive spouse is critical. I stepped out of church leadership years ago. I work as a Hospice and hospital chaplain now and it's 1000X easier. I admire pastors' spouses. It's not easy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are their wives depressed and miserable? I’d assume pastors practice what they preach in their own homes.

If they counsel others in the community like couples, why can’t they fix their own marriage?

I always have this thought that people who are spiritual and work on improving themselves will be different than the rest. So I don’t get how pastors are no different than other men

A lot of men with personality disorders and other mental illness are attracted to ministry because it puts them in a position of power and reverence.

I have an acquaintance who is married to one and he's nuts. Likely bipolar. Cheats on her, drinks, spent all their money, kicked her out of the house. Then every Sunday she hears him preach on the radio and listens to him preach about not doing all the things that he's doing. He's a complete hypocrite.

I've also found that people who are big on spiritual work and improving themselves are really more into putting on a show that they are spiritual and improved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a minister. When you are in a church, it's a really stressful job. Or at least I thought it was. Delivering sermons on Sunday morning is the easiest part of the job. Running a non-profit and answering to a board is the hard part. The drama in a church can be ridiculous both with congregants and with staff. It often feels like you never make everyone happy. People complain about the music (too traditional vs too contemporary), the temperature, the budget, the children's/youth programs, the service times, order of service, ....just on and on. You have to be really good at not taking things personally. It's a tough job when you have a family. Saturdays are prep days. Sundays are exhausting. I tried to always take Mondays off. You are on call all the time - serious illness, death, family crisis,....just constantly responding to crisis. Having a supportive spouse is critical. I stepped out of church leadership years ago. I work as a Hospice and hospital chaplain now and it's 1000X easier. I admire pastors' spouses. It's not easy.

Interesting

What sort of women do pastors usually go for? Do they prefer a religious woman or an ordinary woman? Is there a certain criteria or requirements they look for?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a minister. When you are in a church, it's a really stressful job. Or at least I thought it was. Delivering sermons on Sunday morning is the easiest part of the job. Running a non-profit and answering to a board is the hard part. The drama in a church can be ridiculous both with congregants and with staff. It often feels like you never make everyone happy. People complain about the music (too traditional vs too contemporary), the temperature, the budget, the children's/youth programs, the service times, order of service, ....just on and on. You have to be really good at not taking things personally. It's a tough job when you have a family. Saturdays are prep days. Sundays are exhausting. I tried to always take Mondays off. You are on call all the time - serious illness, death, family crisis,....just constantly responding to crisis. Having a supportive spouse is critical. I stepped out of church leadership years ago. I work as a Hospice and hospital chaplain now and it's 1000X easier. I admire pastors' spouses. It's not easy.

Interesting

What sort of women do pastors usually go for? Do they prefer a religious woman or an ordinary woman? Is there a certain criteria or requirements they look for?

They usually marry very young, around early 20s, to someone equally as religious that they likely met on a mission trip.

Yes, you have to be super religious, and a virgin with no prior boyfriends because you were dedicated to serving the Lord.