Divorcing overreactive spouse

[Anonymous]

Divorcing a spouse who is willing to go scorched earth. The kind of person who will try and harm me if I divorce them, but if I were to apologize and get back together would move on and act like they love me.

Spouse isn’t above doing crazy things like calling my work, trying to get full custody, making up stories about me, refusing to pay bills....I could go on.

I would prefer a drama free divorce and using lawyers as less frequently as possible but this doesn’t seem like an option. I’ve been told if I divorce spouse I’ll be very very sorry.

Spouse is an alcoholic, drug user, and has cheated on me. I want to escape with as little drama as possible. Please give suggestions how to deal with this type. Spouse seems to be somewhat borderline personality disorder type.

[Anonymous]

Talk with a lawyer about the evidence you need and the best way to protect yourself.

[Anonymous]

My spouse is going schorched earth. Same issues- alcohol narcissism etc.
You know what you do? You protect your kids and you do it through whatever means necessary. Frankly outside of verifiable abuse (which obviously warrants the police”, the rest of it like videos of him drinking or saying mean things just don’t matter much to the court. You could get a GAL or a PRE (in my state) to evaluate if there is a custody issue, but again- in this day and age it’s very very hard to get actual full custody. I have 80% time with the kids and primary physical custody sole legal custody - and it took a record of a years worth of verified threats to get that.

The truth is that you’re legally and financially tied and will be for some time. He has the power to scorch your earth with few repercussions- but the sooner you accept that this may happen and you will be OKAY ANYWAY because you will be away from an addicted using scary person.

By virtue of that alone, your earth will not be scorched. Move through this and pay them with as much self respect as you can muster- you may have to fake it at first but it comes quickly once you’ve siezed control of your life back.

You can do this. Good luck, I promise you it’s worth it.

[giaeve707]

Understand that the court system is aware of spouses like this. There are protections in place because of spouses like this. I agree with not wanting to use lawyers but you need to protect yourself and a lawyer will make sure you are protected. Be sure to use the court liaison too. I would not have contact with your spouse and have the courts and attorneys handle it all. Your spouse will gave to communicate with others, not you. And it will be done by the law which is not open to interpretation so he can not control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Divorcing a spouse who is willing to go scorched earth. The kind of person who will try and harm me if I divorce them, but if I were to apologize and get back together would move on and act like they love me.

Spouse isn’t above doing crazy things like calling my work, trying to get full custody, making up stories about me, refusing to pay bills....I could go on.

I would prefer a drama free divorce and using lawyers as less frequently as possible but this doesn’t seem like an option. I’ve been told if I divorce spouse I’ll be very very sorry.

Spouse is an alcoholic, drug user, and has cheated on me. I want to escape with as little drama as possible. Please give suggestions how to deal with this type. Spouse seems to be somewhat borderline personality disorder type.

Dave, Tristen? Is that you from Married at First Sight?

[Anonymous]

Have you read "Stop Walking on Eggshells"? If you think your spouse is borderline, the book might be helpful.

And if your spouse is borderline, I think avoiding drama is fairly impossible. Definately get a lawyer for yourself.