If you could have a guaranteed drama free open marriage / relationship would you?

[Anonymous]

If somehow you could snap your fingers tomorrow to have an open marriage you were guaranteed there would be no jealousy or hurt feelings, no catching feels for the other people, no cutting into family time or responsibilities, no scandalized extended family etc would you do it? If not - why not? Religious reasons?

For all the reasons above, I would never have an open marriage but if I could avoid all of that I would in a minute, I'd love being able to have a fling on a girls trip or an occasional partner that wasn't someone I've already slept with 10000 times. And I'd be fine with my partner doing that as well if I was guaranteed it would never wreck our relationship or family. The reality is its way too risky there would be drama at some point even if we both agreed to it up front.

[Anonymous]

No.

There have been points in my marriage where I might have said yes, but I think our bond and love is stronger knowing that we've committed to each other in that way.

[Anonymous]

It can never be done without repercussions. We've been married 36 years and we have likely had sex 4,000-5,000 times and we keep doing it a couple of times a week. I'm quite happy with my sex life and I have no need to have sex with anyone else. Do I ever dream of being in bed with someone else? Sure, I am human. If I want to pretend I'm with someone else, I lie face down! I bet my DH feels the same way.

[Anonymous]

Yes

[Anonymous]

Yes. Woman here.

[Anonymous]

No. Holds no appeal for me. It’s not that I’m never attracted to other people, but I can’t imagine how it wouldn’t affect the intimacy of our marriage for us both to be going outside it, and I value that intimacy too much to jeopardize it.

[Anonymous]

Yes.

[Anonymous]

No.

[Anonymous]

No. If I don't have feels for the other person, I wouldn't want to sleep with them. I guess novelty isn't really a driver for me.

[Anonymous]

The only time I was really attracted outside my marriage it killed the marriage (and nothing had happened). So I think your hypothetical is completely unrealistic.

[Anonymous]

I can't imagine how this would be possible without jealousy or insecurity, so no.

That's not to say I wouldn't be interested in sleeping with other people if there were no repercussions whatsoever, but that's just not how sex and marriage work.

[Anonymous]

Even though our sex life is on a definite down swing, DH is still my favorite person to hang out with. I wouldn’t be upset that he was having sex with someone else. I’d be upset that the were spending time with him.

So no on the open marriage

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Even though our sex life is on a definite down swing, DH is still my favorite person to hang out with. I wouldn’t be upset that he was having sex with someone else. I’d be upset that the were spending time with him.

So no on the open marriage

So it might be okay if he was away on a business trip when you aren’t able to spend time with him?

[Anonymous]

Yes! I dream of a man with a smaller stomach and larger you know what.

[Anonymous]

Man here, yes oh heck yes. In a heartbeat.

I assume the No answers are coming from women.