High school is ten years away...

[Anonymous]

... and I am suddenly terrified. I must be the last person on earth to each “13 Reasons Why” and I look at DD and her preschool pals and wonder how these sweet kids can turn so cruel and cliquey and sad. I am not worried about DD’s lack of interest in the alphabet and instead just worried that she survive.

How do you prepare your kids for the fricking horrors of high school?! For the meanness. The girl in the series had good parents who would have listened to her but the peers in high school are far more important and influential.

[Anonymous]

You manage your anxiety. Live in the present, not the future.

[Anonymous]

It is scary, I know. But how did you survive high school?

Aside from choosing your schools well, all we can do is try to raise kind, empathetic kids. And strong kids. I don’t know - DH and I talk about it frequently.

[Anonymous]

You are high drama. High school isn't like television. Get a grip.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is scary, I know. But how did you survive high school?

Aside from choosing your schools well, all we can do is try to raise kind, empathetic kids. And strong kids. I don’t know - DH and I talk about it frequently.

So which schools have mean girls and which ones don't?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You manage your anxiety. Live in the present, not the future.

Nonsense. You raise your children for the future - their future. That is the whole point of parenting.

Yes, OP, I think we have to instill values and compassion now. Focus on how everyone has feelings and the whole “fill their bucket” philosophy. It’s why so many private grade schools are teaching social responsibility, empathy, acceptance in spite of all the contrary noise about making kids “tough”. Strong is good, of course, but not the cruelty of the toughen up, school of hard knocks crap.

It is scary to think of how in the blink of an eye, our preschool kids are going to be teenagers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is scary, I know. But how did you survive high school?

Aside from choosing your schools well, all we can do is try to raise kind, empathetic kids. And strong kids. I don’t know - DH and I talk about it frequently.

So which schools have mean girls and which ones don't?

Why do you assume the problem of cruelty is a girl problem?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is scary, I know. But how did you survive high school?

Aside from choosing your schools well, all we can do is try to raise kind, empathetic kids. And strong kids. I don’t know - DH and I talk about it frequently.

So which schools have mean girls and which ones don't?

This is a joke question, right? They all do. And mean boys. And cliques. And bullying. No matter how small.

I can guarantee that anyone who chimes in to say hers doesn't, also believes the loner kid(s) just like it that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are high drama. High school isn't like television. Get a grip.

OP has a grip, PP. Please stop being so unkind.

And I have never seen a tv show about teens where they were massacred in a school shooting - that is real life. Or that depicts the high suicide rate among teenagers and preteens. Or the cyber bullying.

These things are very real.

We have to raise our children better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is scary, I know. But how did you survive high school?

Aside from choosing your schools well, all we can do is try to raise kind, empathetic kids. And strong kids. I don’t know - DH and I talk about it frequently.

So which schools have mean girls and which ones don't?

This is a joke question, right? They all do. And mean boys. And cliques. And bullying. No matter how small.

I can guarantee that anyone who chimes in to say hers doesn't, also believes the loner kid(s) just like it that way.

That was my point. The PP said " choose your schools well" so I was asking how you do that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is scary, I know. But how did you survive high school?

Aside from choosing your schools well, all we can do is try to raise kind, empathetic kids. And strong kids. I don’t know - DH and I talk about it frequently.

So which schools have mean girls and which ones don't?

This is a joke question, right? They all do. And mean boys. And cliques. And bullying. No matter how small.

I can guarantee that anyone who chimes in to say hers doesn't, also believes the loner kid(s) just like it that way.

That was my point. The PP said " choose your schools well" so I was asking how you do that?

I didn’t mean high school necessarily. I mean elementary and middle schools that focus on inclusion and acceptance rather than strict academic and cut throat sports. Schools that teach social responsibility.


I am not in DC and there are two top schools that I will not even apply to. They are known pressure cooker feeder schools to one top high school where something like 50% of the graduates attend Ivy or other top colleges.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is scary, I know. But how did you survive high school?

Aside from choosing your schools well, all we can do is try to raise kind, empathetic kids. And strong kids. I don’t know - DH and I talk about it frequently.

So which schools have mean girls and which ones don't?

This is a joke question, right? They all do. And mean boys. And cliques. And bullying. No matter how small.

I can guarantee that anyone who chimes in to say hers doesn't, also believes the loner kid(s) just like it that way.

This is not true. I went to a private girls high school that was not like that at all. Yes, you could be close to some girls more than others but there was zero bullying. It was just uncool to be mean. We were also close in proximity to Columbine and acceptance and kindness was a priority after the mass murder.

[Anonymous]

After learning more about the private school culture in DC and Maryland, how much it has changed and how much it hasn't, I'm worried for my kids too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After learning more about the private school culture in DC and Maryland, how much it has changed and how much it hasn't, I'm worried for my kids too.

Public school culture, too.

[Anonymous]

High school is the easy part. They're growing into their personalities by then, and puberty is winding down.

It's fifth grade through eighth grade that you need to worry about instead. Be present with them, listen to them more than you talk to them. -- HS mom