New marriage communication issues
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Anonymous
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My husband and I just moved into one house together. We are a blended family he brings teenagers (ages 2) and 18) and I have two younger (11 and 12). One thing that is important to me is that we have a place to watch movies and my son has an area to play his video games from time to time. My husband is adamantly against any televisions in the home, or st least as a focal point of a room. He says that his older children didn’t have those things available when they were younger and believes it is all damaging to a child’s growth (which I see as extreme). To be clear, we do agree on set limits around screen time so we are talking about 1 hour max per day (unless it’s a movie of course).
This is new, because in his last home before we blended he did have a television in his living room, so to me this new thing seems hypocritical. My household items have not yet arrived to our new home but he has placed his things around the home without asking me. He says when he works with me I come across critical (usually because I have another idea or suggest one of my items in that space). I am trying to be reasonable but also would like to keep some consistency for what I used to do with the kids. I have already changed many things.. what we eat, what I buy and spend money on to make harmony. Anyone have any thoughts/suggestions? We have considered a projector but that does not allow video console hookups and requires a dark room. |
Anonymous
| Divorce? |
Anonymous
| I don't think he gets to make that decision for your children. At a minimum I'd be considering counseling to help you guys navigate the compromises needed to combine your households. |
Anonymous
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Just make sure that your kids understand that while their mom married some nutjob, they are loved and they only have 6-7 years to suffer through till they can be on their own. In a meantime, tell them to make friends with kids from normal families, where they have "screens".
On a separate note, why are you blending 18+ year olds in that new house. Health issues? |
Anonymous
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This will work perfect for gaming
https://www.amazon.com/Optoma-HD142X-Lumens-Theater-Projector/dp/B01HQCF6R6 |
Anonymous
| Kids should have access to screens whenever they want. Otherwise they get kind of annoying. |
Anonymous
Not 4K?? I try to give my kids the best gaming experience possible. |
Anonymous
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So it sounds like you didn’t know you were marrying such a controlling jerk. Or did you and you ignored it.
Counseling now. Or divorce. No one should live like this. You sound like you’re walking on eggshells and doing all the abdicating. In a compromise, BOTH parties make concessions. What is he conceding? |
Anonymous
| He sounds like a handful, sheesh...rigid, controlling, his way or highway. I can’t imagine you didn’t know all of this before you blended your families. Ugh for your kids! Will he go to counseling? Probably not, because he doesn’t see a problem, right? |
Anonymous
+1. It’s about more than just the gaming console. |
Anonymous
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He is controlling.
He is not your kids parent and he should not parent them. Great way to get your teens to move in with biodad. You need individual counseling to figure out why you chose a psycho to marry. |
Anonymous
| Thanks all. I had the same thoughts but needed a gut check. Can’t believe I didn’t see it before. All seemed to change (quite immediately) once we lived under the same roof... |
Anonymous
When kids are involved, I think it’s best to move in before marriage. Do it when you get engaged. You all don’t seem to agree on a lot of things, which is not good at all. To a previous poster, he should parent her kids, and she should parent his. There should not be a divide. |
Anonymous
| Leave. Immediately. Your poor kids are living with a psycho. I’m afraid for them! Jezzus lady, have some common sense! You are a mother - friggin’ act like one! |
Anonymous
| Dh hates TVs, although he is an internet addict. We have one TV in basement and roving iPad. Can you find one space for the tc, out if the way? Counseling too. |