Has Duran gone mad? (APS)

[Anonymous]

Has APE filed a lawsuit??? Please share! Good lord.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seems to be true with a lot of these parents. They are at wits end. That’s why they want to open school in January. Their focus is the crisis in their homes. I understand that. Don’t think it should drive policy. But I get it.

I “get” it. But I’m someone’s mom. Why should we go back in before I at least can have a vaccine to be even reasonably safe because some parents are having a hard time. I’m a parent too! I have my own family to worry about and kids to care for and hope make okay academic progress. I know very few people not struggling in some fashion this year, whether it’s financially, emotionally and mentally, physically. The stress is enormous. There’s no doubt. But my issues with my kids don’t mean someone else should risk their health. School is an institution. It cannot care for your kid better than you. The human beings who work in it cannot fix everything. The fact that all of society’s issues right now are being pinned on PUBLIC SCHOOL opening tells you how overburdened they system is and all the social failures it is expected to absorb.

Well said. Based on what you read here, school two days a week in person on their device is going to magically solve everyone’s tweens mental health issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the poster to whom you originally responded with suggestions. I understand that you were trying to be helpful, I really do. But it is also tiresome, because underlying your suggestions is an assumption that I'm some lazy, disengaged, etc., parent who just isn't trying hard enough to help her child learn effectively. That I'm just screaming for schools to open because I don't want to parent my kid.

I have engaged. I have thrown everything I have into this, plus time and money I don't, to try to make distance learning work for him because I appreciate that if we could make distance learning effective for everyone, it would solve this whole issue because we would simply continue with distance learning until the pandemic is over. But distance learning isn't working for him. In some ways, I'd rather see APS punt on this whole school year, just cancel it and repeat the year next year, because I'm deeply worried that my child is getting left behind and that no one in the schools is going to take responsibility for making up what he didn't learn this year.

I'm also worried about the toll this is taking on him mentally. He is now in teletherapy (that I'm running up credit card debt to pay for) because the effects of the isolation became so bad that I was worried he was going to hurt himself. He is in sixth grade, in a bunch of classes with kids he doesn't know (because his school somehow managed to put him in classes with almost no one from his elementary school). His middle school has done virtually nothing to help the sixth graders integrate socially through this, so online learning has become a huge source of anxiety for him, always worried about whether his picture is showing on everyone else's screen (and afraid to speak up to ask a question because then he'll definitely be on everyone's screens, even after he's done talking) and a bunch of kids who barely know him will see him doing something embarrassing and that's how everyone at middle school will know him going forward. If I didn't have to work, I would withdraw him and homeschool because I am that worried about the toll this is taking on him, but becoming homeless would take an even worse toll.

So please, go ahead and keep assuming that I'm just some ignorant, disengaged parent who doesn't care about teachers, but also know that your assumptions are false and offensive. I care about the teachers, but I can't care about them more than I care about my own child.

To the parent who wrote this: I am so, so sorry to hear this. Have you reached out to the school? Because if one of my students’ parents told me this, I would be bending over backward to get them support.

What kind of support do you think the school should be able to provide? If there's something our school could be doing but isn't, I'd be happy to hear it.

DP. There isn’t. But I think you should also be realistic that your son has school anxiety. Possibly general anxiety exacerbated by it. If he doesn’t know kids in his classes and is afraid they’ll see him in camera, how does that work when it’s time to go back in? It’s good you have him in therapy. I dont envision that need going away even in hybrid because your kid has anxiety. Probably always will. There’s nothing wrong with that, lots of kids do. But distance learning didn’t create if and hybrid won’t fix it. He is at a vulnerable age in a pandemic and his life is upside down. He will have other things that cause anxiety in school. Based on what I know of secondary kids, he sounds like my students who hate and avoid group work and presentations too. Don’t socialize much at school. I’m not trying to tell you there’s nothing wrong and you’re doing the right things - but I also think you’re pinning too much hope on hybrid “fixing” him. Normal 5x a week in person school is ...really hard for kids like your son. Whatever the format.

This is a very ignorant statement that reflects nothing but your own biases and agenda.

I’m trying to help a mom. Who could honestly be the mom of any one of my students and this is what I would say to them. What agenda does that serve.

DP. Nah, you’re just a hateful bitch who maligns children to suit your own ends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the poster to whom you originally responded with suggestions. I understand that you were trying to be helpful, I really do. But it is also tiresome, because underlying your suggestions is an assumption that I'm some lazy, disengaged, etc., parent who just isn't trying hard enough to help her child learn effectively. That I'm just screaming for schools to open because I don't want to parent my kid.

I have engaged. I have thrown everything I have into this, plus time and money I don't, to try to make distance learning work for him because I appreciate that if we could make distance learning effective for everyone, it would solve this whole issue because we would simply continue with distance learning until the pandemic is over. But distance learning isn't working for him. In some ways, I'd rather see APS punt on this whole school year, just cancel it and repeat the year next year, because I'm deeply worried that my child is getting left behind and that no one in the schools is going to take responsibility for making up what he didn't learn this year.

I'm also worried about the toll this is taking on him mentally. He is now in teletherapy (that I'm running up credit card debt to pay for) because the effects of the isolation became so bad that I was worried he was going to hurt himself. He is in sixth grade, in a bunch of classes with kids he doesn't know (because his school somehow managed to put him in classes with almost no one from his elementary school). His middle school has done virtually nothing to help the sixth graders integrate socially through this, so online learning has become a huge source of anxiety for him, always worried about whether his picture is showing on everyone else's screen (and afraid to speak up to ask a question because then he'll definitely be on everyone's screens, even after he's done talking) and a bunch of kids who barely know him will see him doing something embarrassing and that's how everyone at middle school will know him going forward. If I didn't have to work, I would withdraw him and homeschool because I am that worried about the toll this is taking on him, but becoming homeless would take an even worse toll.

So please, go ahead and keep assuming that I'm just some ignorant, disengaged parent who doesn't care about teachers, but also know that your assumptions are false and offensive. I care about the teachers, but I can't care about them more than I care about my own child.

To the parent who wrote this: I am so, so sorry to hear this. Have you reached out to the school? Because if one of my students’ parents told me this, I would be bending over backward to get them support.

What kind of support do you think the school should be able to provide? If there's something our school could be doing but isn't, I'd be happy to hear it.

DP. There isn’t. But I think you should also be realistic that your son has school anxiety. Possibly general anxiety exacerbated by it. If he doesn’t know kids in his classes and is afraid they’ll see him in camera, how does that work when it’s time to go back in? It’s good you have him in therapy. I dont envision that need going away even in hybrid because your kid has anxiety. Probably always will. There’s nothing wrong with that, lots of kids do. But distance learning didn’t create if and hybrid won’t fix it. He is at a vulnerable age in a pandemic and his life is upside down. He will have other things that cause anxiety in school. Based on what I know of secondary kids, he sounds like my students who hate and avoid group work and presentations too. Don’t socialize much at school. I’m not trying to tell you there’s nothing wrong and you’re doing the right things - but I also think you’re pinning too much hope on hybrid “fixing” him. Normal 5x a week in person school is ...really hard for kids like your son. Whatever the format.

This is a very ignorant statement that reflects nothing but your own biases and agenda.

I’m trying to help a mom. Who could honestly be the mom of any one of my students and this is what I would say to them. What agenda does that serve.

DP. Nah, you’re just a hateful bitch who maligns children to suit your own ends.

I’m the PP who talked about bending over backwards to help this family. First of all, I’m elementary, so middle school may be different. And I would be alarmed and concerned if a parent told me these things were going n with one of “my” kiddos. I’d start by reaching out to an administrator, and we’d arrange a meeting (online) with the parent, me (teacher), school counselor, and school psychologist.

I don’t know exactly what they can do for you, mama (or dad), but they can’t help at all if they don’t know about these issues.

Some possibilities include time with the school counselor or psychologist, possibly changing at least a few classes so he knows some people, and being accommodating about camera requirements and some assignments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the poster to whom you originally responded with suggestions. I understand that you were trying to be helpful, I really do. But it is also tiresome, because underlying your suggestions is an assumption that I'm some lazy, disengaged, etc., parent who just isn't trying hard enough to help her child learn effectively. That I'm just screaming for schools to open because I don't want to parent my kid.

I have engaged. I have thrown everything I have into this, plus time and money I don't, to try to make distance learning work for him because I appreciate that if we could make distance learning effective for everyone, it would solve this whole issue because we would simply continue with distance learning until the pandemic is over. But distance learning isn't working for him. In some ways, I'd rather see APS punt on this whole school year, just cancel it and repeat the year next year, because I'm deeply worried that my child is getting left behind and that no one in the schools is going to take responsibility for making up what he didn't learn this year.

I'm also worried about the toll this is taking on him mentally. He is now in teletherapy (that I'm running up credit card debt to pay for) because the effects of the isolation became so bad that I was worried he was going to hurt himself. He is in sixth grade, in a bunch of classes with kids he doesn't know (because his school somehow managed to put him in classes with almost no one from his elementary school). His middle school has done virtually nothing to help the sixth graders integrate socially through this, so online learning has become a huge source of anxiety for him, always worried about whether his picture is showing on everyone else's screen (and afraid to speak up to ask a question because then he'll definitely be on everyone's screens, even after he's done talking) and a bunch of kids who barely know him will see him doing something embarrassing and that's how everyone at middle school will know him going forward. If I didn't have to work, I would withdraw him and homeschool because I am that worried about the toll this is taking on him, but becoming homeless would take an even worse toll.

So please, go ahead and keep assuming that I'm just some ignorant, disengaged parent who doesn't care about teachers, but also know that your assumptions are false and offensive. I care about the teachers, but I can't care about them more than I care about my own child.

To the parent who wrote this: I am so, so sorry to hear this. Have you reached out to the school? Because if one of my students’ parents told me this, I would be bending over backward to get them support.

What kind of support do you think the school should be able to provide? If there's something our school could be doing but isn't, I'd be happy to hear it.

DP. There isn’t. But I think you should also be realistic that your son has school anxiety. Possibly general anxiety exacerbated by it. If he doesn’t know kids in his classes and is afraid they’ll see him in camera, how does that work when it’s time to go back in? It’s good you have him in therapy. I dont envision that need going away even in hybrid because your kid has anxiety. Probably always will. There’s nothing wrong with that, lots of kids do. But distance learning didn’t create if and hybrid won’t fix it. He is at a vulnerable age in a pandemic and his life is upside down. He will have other things that cause anxiety in school. Based on what I know of secondary kids, he sounds like my students who hate and avoid group work and presentations too. Don’t socialize much at school. I’m not trying to tell you there’s nothing wrong and you’re doing the right things - but I also think you’re pinning too much hope on hybrid “fixing” him. Normal 5x a week in person school is ...really hard for kids like your son. Whatever the format.

This is a very ignorant statement that reflects nothing but your own biases and agenda.

I’m trying to help a mom. Who could honestly be the mom of any one of my students and this is what I would say to them. What agenda does that serve.

NP and I think you have to realize that lots of kids are totally fine in person and super anxious about virtual school. My kids are much younger and I’ve realized how draining it is for them to always feel like someone is watching them. In a classroom setting, usually when a teacher is teaching, everyone is facing and watching the teacher. On Microsoft Teams, the screen might show the teacher and 6+ classmates. While logically a student might know that there is only a small chance that someone is paying more attention to them than the teacher, that chance still feels higher than it does in the classroom.

Add that to the kids who are screen grabbing or recording class and if a classmate does do something embarrassing, it’s much easier to share that.

It’s also super awkward to have to stare at yourself while you are talking. Some programs allow you to make it so you don’t see yourself but I haven’t figured out how to do that with Teams yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seems to be true with a lot of these parents. They are at wits end. That’s why they want to open school in January. Their focus is the crisis in their homes. I understand that. Don’t think it should drive policy. But I get it.

I “get” it. But I’m someone’s mom. Why should we go back in before I at least can have a vaccine to be even reasonably safe because some parents are having a hard time. I’m a parent too! I have my own family to worry about and kids to care for and hope make okay academic progress. I know very few people not struggling in some fashion this year, whether it’s financially, emotionally and mentally, physically. The stress is enormous. There’s no doubt. But my issues with my kids don’t mean someone else should risk their health. School is an institution. It cannot care for your kid better than you. The human beings who work in it cannot fix everything. The fact that all of society’s issues right now are being pinned on PUBLIC SCHOOL opening tells you how overburdened they system is and all the social failures it is expected to absorb.

Well said. Based on what you read here, school two days a week in person on their device is going to magically solve everyone’s tweens mental health issues.

+1 It all seems pretty insane...until you go back and read the posts advocating opening the schools and you understand the kids are having problems because their parents are having problems. Unfortunately that isn't something opening schools will change the stability of the parents.

My husband and I have both noticed similarities between the debate OpenSchoolsNowWhateverItTakes v LetsWait and our new virtual workplaces: about half of the people we work with have adapted quite well and the other half are basket cases. For 90% of the people job responsibilities and deliverables haven't changed while for 10%, like the receptionists, there has been dramatic change. It doesn't seem to matter what the job is but half of the staff in each of our organizations has been able to flex and accommodate while the other half is in constant turmoil and struggling mightily against the new normal.

Frankly the open schools versus wait debate is more an example of who can flex and who cannot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seems to be true with a lot of these parents. They are at wits end. That’s why they want to open school in January. Their focus is the crisis in their homes. I understand that. Don’t think it should drive policy. But I get it.

I “get” it. But I’m someone’s mom. Why should we go back in before I at least can have a vaccine to be even reasonably safe because some parents are having a hard time. I’m a parent too! I have my own family to worry about and kids to care for and hope make okay academic progress. I know very few people not struggling in some fashion this year, whether it’s financially, emotionally and mentally, physically. The stress is enormous. There’s no doubt. But my issues with my kids don’t mean someone else should risk their health. School is an institution. It cannot care for your kid better than you. The human beings who work in it cannot fix everything. The fact that all of society’s issues right now are being pinned on PUBLIC SCHOOL opening tells you how overburdened they system is and all the social failures it is expected to absorb.

Well said. Based on what you read here, school two days a week in person on their device is going to magically solve everyone’s tweens mental health issues.

+1 It all seems pretty insane...until you go back and read the posts advocating opening the schools and you understand the kids are having problems because their parents are having problems. Unfortunately that isn't something opening schools will change the stability of the parents.

My husband and I have both noticed similarities between the debate OpenSchoolsNowWhateverItTakes v LetsWait and our new virtual workplaces: about half of the people we work with have adapted quite well and the other half are basket cases. For 90% of the people job responsibilities and deliverables haven't changed while for 10%, like the receptionists, there has been dramatic change. It doesn't seem to matter what the job is but half of the staff in each of our organizations has been able to flex and accommodate while the other half is in constant turmoil and struggling mightily against the new normal.

Frankly the open schools versus wait debate is more an example of who can flex and who cannot.

Sounds like you're ready to publish a peer-reviewed study.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the poster to whom you originally responded with suggestions. I understand that you were trying to be helpful, I really do. But it is also tiresome, because underlying your suggestions is an assumption that I'm some lazy, disengaged, etc., parent who just isn't trying hard enough to help her child learn effectively. That I'm just screaming for schools to open because I don't want to parent my kid.

I have engaged. I have thrown everything I have into this, plus time and money I don't, to try to make distance learning work for him because I appreciate that if we could make distance learning effective for everyone, it would solve this whole issue because we would simply continue with distance learning until the pandemic is over. But distance learning isn't working for him. In some ways, I'd rather see APS punt on this whole school year, just cancel it and repeat the year next year, because I'm deeply worried that my child is getting left behind and that no one in the schools is going to take responsibility for making up what he didn't learn this year.

I'm also worried about the toll this is taking on him mentally. He is now in teletherapy (that I'm running up credit card debt to pay for) because the effects of the isolation became so bad that I was worried he was going to hurt himself. He is in sixth grade, in a bunch of classes with kids he doesn't know (because his school somehow managed to put him in classes with almost no one from his elementary school). His middle school has done virtually nothing to help the sixth graders integrate socially through this, so online learning has become a huge source of anxiety for him, always worried about whether his picture is showing on everyone else's screen (and afraid to speak up to ask a question because then he'll definitely be on everyone's screens, even after he's done talking) and a bunch of kids who barely know him will see him doing something embarrassing and that's how everyone at middle school will know him going forward. If I didn't have to work, I would withdraw him and homeschool because I am that worried about the toll this is taking on him, but becoming homeless would take an even worse toll.

So please, go ahead and keep assuming that I'm just some ignorant, disengaged parent who doesn't care about teachers, but also know that your assumptions are false and offensive. I care about the teachers, but I can't care about them more than I care about my own child.

To the parent who wrote this: I am so, so sorry to hear this. Have you reached out to the school? Because if one of my students’ parents told me this, I would be bending over backward to get them support.

What kind of support do you think the school should be able to provide? If there's something our school could be doing but isn't, I'd be happy to hear it.

DP. There isn’t. But I think you should also be realistic that your son has school anxiety. Possibly general anxiety exacerbated by it. If he doesn’t know kids in his classes and is afraid they’ll see him in camera, how does that work when it’s time to go back in? It’s good you have him in therapy. I dont envision that need going away even in hybrid because your kid has anxiety. Probably always will. There’s nothing wrong with that, lots of kids do. But distance learning didn’t create if and hybrid won’t fix it. He is at a vulnerable age in a pandemic and his life is upside down. He will have other things that cause anxiety in school. Based on what I know of secondary kids, he sounds like my students who hate and avoid group work and presentations too. Don’t socialize much at school. I’m not trying to tell you there’s nothing wrong and you’re doing the right things - but I also think you’re pinning too much hope on hybrid “fixing” him. Normal 5x a week in person school is ...really hard for kids like your son. Whatever the format.

This is a very ignorant statement that reflects nothing but your own biases and agenda.

I’m trying to help a mom. Who could honestly be the mom of any one of my students and this is what I would say to them. What agenda does that serve.

DP. Nah, you’re just a hateful bitch who maligns children to suit your own ends.

I’m the PP who talked about bending over backwards to help this family. First of all, I’m elementary, so middle school may be different. And I would be alarmed and concerned if a parent told me these things were going n with one of “my” kiddos. I’d start by reaching out to an administrator, and we’d arrange a meeting (online) with the parent, me (teacher), school counselor, and school psychologist.

I don’t know exactly what they can do for you, mama (or dad), but they can’t help at all if they don’t know about these issues.

Some possibilities include time with the school counselor or psychologist, possibly changing at least a few classes so he knows some people, and being accommodating about camera requirements and some assignments.

And what if what the child needed was to see someone in person, to be taught in person, are you willing to do that?

What you are suggesting is not even help by the way. It’s just nonsense. “We will have a zoom meeting to fix that kid right up!”
Please stop patting yourself on the back.
This is t help at all. It’s just one more meeting to add to the poor kid and family’s overwhelm.

If you really, truly want to help, then stop pretending that virtue is working for all kids, be willing to say that this situation isn’t good and we need to work on returning some kids to in person learning. It is safe to do so but that means you as a teacher now need to give up your comfy routine of being at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the poster to whom you originally responded with suggestions. I understand that you were trying to be helpful, I really do. But it is also tiresome, because underlying your suggestions is an assumption that I'm some lazy, disengaged, etc., parent who just isn't trying hard enough to help her child learn effectively. That I'm just screaming for schools to open because I don't want to parent my kid.

I have engaged. I have thrown everything I have into this, plus time and money I don't, to try to make distance learning work for him because I appreciate that if we could make distance learning effective for everyone, it would solve this whole issue because we would simply continue with distance learning until the pandemic is over. But distance learning isn't working for him. In some ways, I'd rather see APS punt on this whole school year, just cancel it and repeat the year next year, because I'm deeply worried that my child is getting left behind and that no one in the schools is going to take responsibility for making up what he didn't learn this year.

I'm also worried about the toll this is taking on him mentally. He is now in teletherapy (that I'm running up credit card debt to pay for) because the effects of the isolation became so bad that I was worried he was going to hurt himself. He is in sixth grade, in a bunch of classes with kids he doesn't know (because his school somehow managed to put him in classes with almost no one from his elementary school). His middle school has done virtually nothing to help the sixth graders integrate socially through this, so online learning has become a huge source of anxiety for him, always worried about whether his picture is showing on everyone else's screen (and afraid to speak up to ask a question because then he'll definitely be on everyone's screens, even after he's done talking) and a bunch of kids who barely know him will see him doing something embarrassing and that's how everyone at middle school will know him going forward. If I didn't have to work, I would withdraw him and homeschool because I am that worried about the toll this is taking on him, but becoming homeless would take an even worse toll.

So please, go ahead and keep assuming that I'm just some ignorant, disengaged parent who doesn't care about teachers, but also know that your assumptions are false and offensive. I care about the teachers, but I can't care about them more than I care about my own child.

To the parent who wrote this: I am so, so sorry to hear this. Have you reached out to the school? Because if one of my students’ parents told me this, I would be bending over backward to get them support.

What kind of support do you think the school should be able to provide? If there's something our school could be doing but isn't, I'd be happy to hear it.

DP. There isn’t. But I think you should also be realistic that your son has school anxiety. Possibly general anxiety exacerbated by it. If he doesn’t know kids in his classes and is afraid they’ll see him in camera, how does that work when it’s time to go back in? It’s good you have him in therapy. I dont envision that need going away even in hybrid because your kid has anxiety. Probably always will. There’s nothing wrong with that, lots of kids do. But distance learning didn’t create if and hybrid won’t fix it. He is at a vulnerable age in a pandemic and his life is upside down. He will have other things that cause anxiety in school. Based on what I know of secondary kids, he sounds like my students who hate and avoid group work and presentations too. Don’t socialize much at school. I’m not trying to tell you there’s nothing wrong and you’re doing the right things - but I also think you’re pinning too much hope on hybrid “fixing” him. Normal 5x a week in person school is ...really hard for kids like your son. Whatever the format.

This is a very ignorant statement that reflects nothing but your own biases and agenda.

I’m trying to help a mom. Who could honestly be the mom of any one of my students and this is what I would say to them. What agenda does that serve.

DP. Nah, you’re just a hateful bitch who maligns children to suit your own ends.

I’m the PP who talked about bending over backwards to help this family. First of all, I’m elementary, so middle school may be different. And I would be alarmed and concerned if a parent told me these things were going n with one of “my” kiddos. I’d start by reaching out to an administrator, and we’d arrange a meeting (online) with the parent, me (teacher), school counselor, and school psychologist.

I don’t know exactly what they can do for you, mama (or dad), but they can’t help at all if they don’t know about these issues.

Some possibilities include time with the school counselor or psychologist, possibly changing at least a few classes so he knows some people, and being accommodating about camera requirements and some assignments.

And what if what the child needed was to see someone in person, to be taught in person, are you willing to do that?

What you are suggesting is not even help by the way. It’s just nonsense. “We will have a zoom meeting to fix that kid right up!”
Please stop patting yourself on the back.
This is t help at all. It’s just one more meeting to add to the poor kid and family’s overwhelm.

If you really, truly want to help, then stop pretending that virtue is working for all kids, be willing to say that this situation isn’t good and we need to work on returning some kids to in person learning. It is safe to do so but that means you as a teacher now need to give up your comfy routine of being at home.

She has the right to say that she doesn't want to be the "someone in person." Just like you have the right to move on and figure out a different solution to your problem. Stop trying to pin this on her. She has a right to keep herself safe for her family. She doesn't have to agree with you. As a parent I completely disagree with your statement "it is safe to do so." I have no problem backing up teachers who say that it isn't safe for them so they aren't going to do it. Stop being such a bully.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the poster to whom you originally responded with suggestions. I understand that you were trying to be helpful, I really do. But it is also tiresome, because underlying your suggestions is an assumption that I'm some lazy, disengaged, etc., parent who just isn't trying hard enough to help her child learn effectively. That I'm just screaming for schools to open because I don't want to parent my kid.

I have engaged. I have thrown everything I have into this, plus time and money I don't, to try to make distance learning work for him because I appreciate that if we could make distance learning effective for everyone, it would solve this whole issue because we would simply continue with distance learning until the pandemic is over. But distance learning isn't working for him. In some ways, I'd rather see APS punt on this whole school year, just cancel it and repeat the year next year, because I'm deeply worried that my child is getting left behind and that no one in the schools is going to take responsibility for making up what he didn't learn this year.

I'm also worried about the toll this is taking on him mentally. He is now in teletherapy (that I'm running up credit card debt to pay for) because the effects of the isolation became so bad that I was worried he was going to hurt himself. He is in sixth grade, in a bunch of classes with kids he doesn't know (because his school somehow managed to put him in classes with almost no one from his elementary school). His middle school has done virtually nothing to help the sixth graders integrate socially through this, so online learning has become a huge source of anxiety for him, always worried about whether his picture is showing on everyone else's screen (and afraid to speak up to ask a question because then he'll definitely be on everyone's screens, even after he's done talking) and a bunch of kids who barely know him will see him doing something embarrassing and that's how everyone at middle school will know him going forward. If I didn't have to work, I would withdraw him and homeschool because I am that worried about the toll this is taking on him, but becoming homeless would take an even worse toll.

So please, go ahead and keep assuming that I'm just some ignorant, disengaged parent who doesn't care about teachers, but also know that your assumptions are false and offensive. I care about the teachers, but I can't care about them more than I care about my own child.

To the parent who wrote this: I am so, so sorry to hear this. Have you reached out to the school? Because if one of my students’ parents told me this, I would be bending over backward to get them support.

What kind of support do you think the school should be able to provide? If there's something our school could be doing but isn't, I'd be happy to hear it.

DP. There isn’t. But I think you should also be realistic that your son has school anxiety. Possibly general anxiety exacerbated by it. If he doesn’t know kids in his classes and is afraid they’ll see him in camera, how does that work when it’s time to go back in? It’s good you have him in therapy. I dont envision that need going away even in hybrid because your kid has anxiety. Probably always will. There’s nothing wrong with that, lots of kids do. But distance learning didn’t create if and hybrid won’t fix it. He is at a vulnerable age in a pandemic and his life is upside down. He will have other things that cause anxiety in school. Based on what I know of secondary kids, he sounds like my students who hate and avoid group work and presentations too. Don’t socialize much at school. I’m not trying to tell you there’s nothing wrong and you’re doing the right things - but I also think you’re pinning too much hope on hybrid “fixing” him. Normal 5x a week in person school is ...really hard for kids like your son. Whatever the format.

This is a very ignorant statement that reflects nothing but your own biases and agenda.

I’m trying to help a mom. Who could honestly be the mom of any one of my students and this is what I would say to them. What agenda does that serve.

DP. Nah, you’re just a hateful bitch who maligns children to suit your own ends.

I’m the PP who talked about bending over backwards to help this family. First of all, I’m elementary, so middle school may be different. And I would be alarmed and concerned if a parent told me these things were going n with one of “my” kiddos. I’d start by reaching out to an administrator, and we’d arrange a meeting (online) with the parent, me (teacher), school counselor, and school psychologist.

I don’t know exactly what they can do for you, mama (or dad), but they can’t help at all if they don’t know about these issues.

Some possibilities include time with the school counselor or psychologist, possibly changing at least a few classes so he knows some people, and being accommodating about camera requirements and some assignments.

And what if what the child needed was to see someone in person, to be taught in person, are you willing to do that?

What you are suggesting is not even help by the way. It’s just nonsense. “We will have a zoom meeting to fix that kid right up!”
Please stop patting yourself on the back.
This is t help at all. It’s just one more meeting to add to the poor kid and family’s overwhelm.

If you really, truly want to help, then stop pretending that virtue is working for all kids, be willing to say that this situation isn’t good and we need to work on returning some kids to in person learning. It is safe to do so but that means you as a teacher now need to give up your comfy routine of being at home.

Replace comfy with safe.

“You need to give up your safe routine at home.” That’s what you mean.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most people aren’t judging those who want to be back in the classroom. I’d love my kids to be back in the classroom. But there is still safety to consider. It’s not safe right now, even if it’s very important for your child to be back. Just cause they should have been back in in September doesn’t mean they should be back in now.

You are entitled to your opinion, but please know that keeping students home is not a harmless alternative. Even beyond the learning loss for totally typical students, there are children who are now suffering from depression and engaging in self-harm. There are suicides. There is increased child abuse happening at home. There are students with special needs who will age out of services this year or next who aren't getting necessary job training and other skills development, which will put them at increased risk of homelessness, substance abuse, and premature death. So when you take that position, you are not advocating for a solution that is clearly safer overall, you have simply weighed the risks and made a value judgment about who you feel is expendable.

So you are upset that teachers aren’t choosing themselves as the expendable ones? Please stop with the moralizing. If you want teachers to be happy about going back to the buildings without a vaccine, put your energies into fundraising for hazard pay and a healthy supply of N95 masks for them That might work.

Why do you assume I haven’t? Since late spring I have been advocating at the school, county and state levels for increased funding for PPE and other safety equipment to maximize our ability to reopen safely. I have been hyper-diligent about masking, social distancing, etc., to make sure we don’t personally contribute to virus spread. I want APS to choose the best option for this moment based on weighing the needs and risks of *everyone* involved, not just a single group. Based on all of my own review of the available data and research, I believe that option is to reopen schools with an emphasis on safety precautions and leaving a virtual option for those who need it. That includes teachers who need it because they are high risk. Obviously there still need to be adults in the schools to supervise, but I’m fine with that being an aide to assist a teacher who is teaching remotely.

We're all glad that you're "fine" with it... it seems so long as you aren't the one putting your life on the line... And I'm a parent responding to your post btw. With people like you around no wonder teachers don't want to be in the buildings to teach. I wouldn't be "fine" teaching your kids with you a parent to kids I teach either. Yowza.

I am an attorney who does a lot of work with clients who face barriers to remote engagement (e.g., technology for receiving, reviewing, signing and returning digital documents). I could decline to represent such clients right now, but I don’t because I know how much they need the assistance and don’t have at alternative options. So I meet with them in person as needed, taking all reasonable safety precautions, despite the risk to myself. I am not a teacher, but I am walking the walk here.

OK - are you pushing for APS to implement all reasonable safety precautions?

Entrance & surveillance testing
Air filters
PPE

I already said I was, and have been for months. If you’re going to read that selectively, I can’t help you.

How have you been advocating for that? I only hear a handful of parents pushing for these safety measures. And they aren’t the ones sh1tting on the teachers.

You hear that handful of parents where? I’m guessing AEM. Newsflash: parents might be incredibly vocal advocates where it matters and not be loud on AEM. There are a handful of people that post constantly on AEM and suggest in their comments that other parents aren’t similarly committed. As if posting every thought you’ve ever had on FB was meaningful advocacy.

Then put your money where your mouth is. APE doesn't advocate for any of these things. No safety items on its platform - just open now, it's fine!

Seriously. I am surprised by how many parents would prefer to fund private school tuition rather than do a grassroots fundraiser for N95 masks and a HEPA filter for all public school teachers.. The latter requires more effort, but it would also provide more justification for sanctimoniousness.

Sourcing N95 masks and HEPA filters would be a fool's errand. The goal posts would just be moved again.

excuses excuses. good luck with your lawsuit.

So the community gets the schools masks and filters and everybody goes back? Is that what you're saying?

That’s one component to bringing out kids back safely.

Another big one is entrance and surveillance testing.

The point is the most vocal parents are just pushing to send kids back. Not pushing to make it safe for them to go back.

“Open Schools Now”
should be
“Make Schools Safe”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the poster to whom you originally responded with suggestions. I understand that you were trying to be helpful, I really do. But it is also tiresome, because underlying your suggestions is an assumption that I'm some lazy, disengaged, etc., parent who just isn't trying hard enough to help her child learn effectively. That I'm just screaming for schools to open because I don't want to parent my kid.

I have engaged. I have thrown everything I have into this, plus time and money I don't, to try to make distance learning work for him because I appreciate that if we could make distance learning effective for everyone, it would solve this whole issue because we would simply continue with distance learning until the pandemic is over. But distance learning isn't working for him. In some ways, I'd rather see APS punt on this whole school year, just cancel it and repeat the year next year, because I'm deeply worried that my child is getting left behind and that no one in the schools is going to take responsibility for making up what he didn't learn this year.

I'm also worried about the toll this is taking on him mentally. He is now in teletherapy (that I'm running up credit card debt to pay for) because the effects of the isolation became so bad that I was worried he was going to hurt himself. He is in sixth grade, in a bunch of classes with kids he doesn't know (because his school somehow managed to put him in classes with almost no one from his elementary school). His middle school has done virtually nothing to help the sixth graders integrate socially through this, so online learning has become a huge source of anxiety for him, always worried about whether his picture is showing on everyone else's screen (and afraid to speak up to ask a question because then he'll definitely be on everyone's screens, even after he's done talking) and a bunch of kids who barely know him will see him doing something embarrassing and that's how everyone at middle school will know him going forward. If I didn't have to work, I would withdraw him and homeschool because I am that worried about the toll this is taking on him, but becoming homeless would take an even worse toll.

So please, go ahead and keep assuming that I'm just some ignorant, disengaged parent who doesn't care about teachers, but also know that your assumptions are false and offensive. I care about the teachers, but I can't care about them more than I care about my own child.

To the parent who wrote this: I am so, so sorry to hear this. Have you reached out to the school? Because if one of my students’ parents told me this, I would be bending over backward to get them support.

What kind of support do you think the school should be able to provide? If there's something our school could be doing but isn't, I'd be happy to hear it.

DP. There isn’t. But I think you should also be realistic that your son has school anxiety. Possibly general anxiety exacerbated by it. If he doesn’t know kids in his classes and is afraid they’ll see him in camera, how does that work when it’s time to go back in? It’s good you have him in therapy. I dont envision that need going away even in hybrid because your kid has anxiety. Probably always will. There’s nothing wrong with that, lots of kids do. But distance learning didn’t create if and hybrid won’t fix it. He is at a vulnerable age in a pandemic and his life is upside down. He will have other things that cause anxiety in school. Based on what I know of secondary kids, he sounds like my students who hate and avoid group work and presentations too. Don’t socialize much at school. I’m not trying to tell you there’s nothing wrong and you’re doing the right things - but I also think you’re pinning too much hope on hybrid “fixing” him. Normal 5x a week in person school is ...really hard for kids like your son. Whatever the format.

This is a very ignorant statement that reflects nothing but your own biases and agenda.

I’m trying to help a mom. Who could honestly be the mom of any one of my students and this is what I would say to them. What agenda does that serve.

DP. Nah, you’re just a hateful bitch who maligns children to suit your own ends.

I’m the PP who talked about bending over backwards to help this family. First of all, I’m elementary, so middle school may be different. And I would be alarmed and concerned if a parent told me these things were going n with one of “my” kiddos. I’d start by reaching out to an administrator, and we’d arrange a meeting (online) with the parent, me (teacher), school counselor, and school psychologist.

I don’t know exactly what they can do for you, mama (or dad), but they can’t help at all if they don’t know about these issues.

Some possibilities include time with the school counselor or psychologist, possibly changing at least a few classes so he knows some people, and being accommodating about camera requirements and some assignments.

And what if what the child needed was to see someone in person, to be taught in person, are you willing to do that?

What you are suggesting is not even help by the way. It’s just nonsense. “We will have a zoom meeting to fix that kid right up!”
Please stop patting yourself on the back.
This is t help at all. It’s just one more meeting to add to the poor kid and family’s overwhelm.

If you really, truly want to help, then stop pretending that virtue is working for all kids, be willing to say that this situation isn’t good and we need to work on returning some kids to in person learning. It is safe to do so but that means you as a teacher now need to give up your comfy routine of being at home.

She has the right to say that she doesn't want to be the "someone in person." Just like you have the right to move on and figure out a different solution to your problem. Stop trying to pin this on her. She has a right to keep herself safe for her family. She doesn't have to agree with you. As a parent I completely disagree with your statement "it is safe to do so." I have no problem backing up teachers who say that it isn't safe for them so they aren't going to do it. Stop being such a bully.

DP. That is her prerogative, but it’s disingenuous to put up this facade of “I’d do everything I could to get this child the help they need” when you’re not actually willing to do so. Just be honest - “sorry your child is struggling, but you’ll have to figure it out yourself because I don’t want schools to reopen.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most people aren’t judging those who want to be back in the classroom. I’d love my kids to be back in the classroom. But there is still safety to consider. It’s not safe right now, even if it’s very important for your child to be back. Just cause they should have been back in in September doesn’t mean they should be back in now.

You are entitled to your opinion, but please know that keeping students home is not a harmless alternative. Even beyond the learning loss for totally typical students, there are children who are now suffering from depression and engaging in self-harm. There are suicides. There is increased child abuse happening at home. There are students with special needs who will age out of services this year or next who aren't getting necessary job training and other skills development, which will put them at increased risk of homelessness, substance abuse, and premature death. So when you take that position, you are not advocating for a solution that is clearly safer overall, you have simply weighed the risks and made a value judgment about who you feel is expendable.

So you are upset that teachers aren’t choosing themselves as the expendable ones? Please stop with the moralizing. If you want teachers to be happy about going back to the buildings without a vaccine, put your energies into fundraising for hazard pay and a healthy supply of N95 masks for them That might work.

Why do you assume I haven’t? Since late spring I have been advocating at the school, county and state levels for increased funding for PPE and other safety equipment to maximize our ability to reopen safely. I have been hyper-diligent about masking, social distancing, etc., to make sure we don’t personally contribute to virus spread. I want APS to choose the best option for this moment based on weighing the needs and risks of *everyone* involved, not just a single group. Based on all of my own review of the available data and research, I believe that option is to reopen schools with an emphasis on safety precautions and leaving a virtual option for those who need it. That includes teachers who need it because they are high risk. Obviously there still need to be adults in the schools to supervise, but I’m fine with that being an aide to assist a teacher who is teaching remotely.

We're all glad that you're "fine" with it... it seems so long as you aren't the one putting your life on the line... And I'm a parent responding to your post btw. With people like you around no wonder teachers don't want to be in the buildings to teach. I wouldn't be "fine" teaching your kids with you a parent to kids I teach either. Yowza.

I am an attorney who does a lot of work with clients who face barriers to remote engagement (e.g., technology for receiving, reviewing, signing and returning digital documents). I could decline to represent such clients right now, but I don’t because I know how much they need the assistance and don’t have at alternative options. So I meet with them in person as needed, taking all reasonable safety precautions, despite the risk to myself. I am not a teacher, but I am walking the walk here.

OK - are you pushing for APS to implement all reasonable safety precautions?

Entrance & surveillance testing
Air filters
PPE

I already said I was, and have been for months. If you’re going to read that selectively, I can’t help you.

How have you been advocating for that? I only hear a handful of parents pushing for these safety measures. And they aren’t the ones sh1tting on the teachers.

You hear that handful of parents where? I’m guessing AEM. Newsflash: parents might be incredibly vocal advocates where it matters and not be loud on AEM. There are a handful of people that post constantly on AEM and suggest in their comments that other parents aren’t similarly committed. As if posting every thought you’ve ever had on FB was meaningful advocacy.

Then put your money where your mouth is. APE doesn't advocate for any of these things. No safety items on its platform - just open now, it's fine!

Seriously. I am surprised by how many parents would prefer to fund private school tuition rather than do a grassroots fundraiser for N95 masks and a HEPA filter for all public school teachers.. The latter requires more effort, but it would also provide more justification for sanctimoniousness.

Sourcing N95 masks and HEPA filters would be a fool's errand. The goal posts would just be moved again.

excuses excuses. good luck with your lawsuit.

So the community gets the schools masks and filters and everybody goes back? Is that what you're saying?

That’s one component to bringing out kids back safely.

Another big one is entrance and surveillance testing.

The point is the most vocal parents are just pushing to send kids back. Not pushing to make it safe for them to go back.

“Open Schools Now”
should be
“Make Schools Safe”

Is APE opposed to testing and PPE? I didn’t see that on their website.

Also, early on in this parents did try to organized fundraisers for PPE to help schools reopen, but APS said they couldn’t accept it. And that makes sense, because APS needs to have the money budgeted for PPE on an ongoing basis, and not count on continued donations that could dry up suddenly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the poster to whom you originally responded with suggestions. I understand that you were trying to be helpful, I really do. But it is also tiresome, because underlying your suggestions is an assumption that I'm some lazy, disengaged, etc., parent who just isn't trying hard enough to help her child learn effectively. That I'm just screaming for schools to open because I don't want to parent my kid.

I have engaged. I have thrown everything I have into this, plus time and money I don't, to try to make distance learning work for him because I appreciate that if we could make distance learning effective for everyone, it would solve this whole issue because we would simply continue with distance learning until the pandemic is over. But distance learning isn't working for him. In some ways, I'd rather see APS punt on this whole school year, just cancel it and repeat the year next year, because I'm deeply worried that my child is getting left behind and that no one in the schools is going to take responsibility for making up what he didn't learn this year.

I'm also worried about the toll this is taking on him mentally. He is now in teletherapy (that I'm running up credit card debt to pay for) because the effects of the isolation became so bad that I was worried he was going to hurt himself. He is in sixth grade, in a bunch of classes with kids he doesn't know (because his school somehow managed to put him in classes with almost no one from his elementary school). His middle school has done virtually nothing to help the sixth graders integrate socially through this, so online learning has become a huge source of anxiety for him, always worried about whether his picture is showing on everyone else's screen (and afraid to speak up to ask a question because then he'll definitely be on everyone's screens, even after he's done talking) and a bunch of kids who barely know him will see him doing something embarrassing and that's how everyone at middle school will know him going forward. If I didn't have to work, I would withdraw him and homeschool because I am that worried about the toll this is taking on him, but becoming homeless would take an even worse toll.

So please, go ahead and keep assuming that I'm just some ignorant, disengaged parent who doesn't care about teachers, but also know that your assumptions are false and offensive. I care about the teachers, but I can't care about them more than I care about my own child.

To the parent who wrote this: I am so, so sorry to hear this. Have you reached out to the school? Because if one of my students’ parents told me this, I would be bending over backward to get them support.

What kind of support do you think the school should be able to provide? If there's something our school could be doing but isn't, I'd be happy to hear it.

DP. There isn’t. But I think you should also be realistic that your son has school anxiety. Possibly general anxiety exacerbated by it. If he doesn’t know kids in his classes and is afraid they’ll see him in camera, how does that work when it’s time to go back in? It’s good you have him in therapy. I dont envision that need going away even in hybrid because your kid has anxiety. Probably always will. There’s nothing wrong with that, lots of kids do. But distance learning didn’t create if and hybrid won’t fix it. He is at a vulnerable age in a pandemic and his life is upside down. He will have other things that cause anxiety in school. Based on what I know of secondary kids, he sounds like my students who hate and avoid group work and presentations too. Don’t socialize much at school. I’m not trying to tell you there’s nothing wrong and you’re doing the right things - but I also think you’re pinning too much hope on hybrid “fixing” him. Normal 5x a week in person school is ...really hard for kids like your son. Whatever the format.

This is a very ignorant statement that reflects nothing but your own biases and agenda.

I’m trying to help a mom. Who could honestly be the mom of any one of my students and this is what I would say to them. What agenda does that serve.

DP. Nah, you’re just a hateful bitch who maligns children to suit your own ends.

I’m the PP who talked about bending over backwards to help this family. First of all, I’m elementary, so middle school may be different. And I would be alarmed and concerned if a parent told me these things were going n with one of “my” kiddos. I’d start by reaching out to an administrator, and we’d arrange a meeting (online) with the parent, me (teacher), school counselor, and school psychologist.

I don’t know exactly what they can do for you, mama (or dad), but they can’t help at all if they don’t know about these issues.

Some possibilities include time with the school counselor or psychologist, possibly changing at least a few classes so he knows some people, and being accommodating about camera requirements and some assignments.

And what if what the child needed was to see someone in person, to be taught in person, are you willing to do that?

What you are suggesting is not even help by the way. It’s just nonsense. “We will have a zoom meeting to fix that kid right up!”
Please stop patting yourself on the back.
This is t help at all. It’s just one more meeting to add to the poor kid and family’s overwhelm.

If you really, truly want to help, then stop pretending that virtue is working for all kids, be willing to say that this situation isn’t good and we need to work on returning some kids to in person learning. It is safe to do so but that means you as a teacher now need to give up your comfy routine of being at home.

She has the right to say that she doesn't want to be the "someone in person." Just like you have the right to move on and figure out a different solution to your problem. Stop trying to pin this on her. She has a right to keep herself safe for her family. She doesn't have to agree with you. As a parent I completely disagree with your statement "it is safe to do so." I have no problem backing up teachers who say that it isn't safe for them so they aren't going to do it. Stop being such a bully.

DP. That is her prerogative, but it’s disingenuous to put up this facade of “I’d do everything I could to get this child the help they need” when you’re not actually willing to do so. Just be honest - “sorry your child is struggling, but you’ll have to figure it out yourself because I don’t want schools to reopen.”

Would you risk your health and life for someone else’s kid? Seriously. You would not. I can care about your kids but my job does not require me to put them above my OWN physical health and life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the poster to whom you originally responded with suggestions. I understand that you were trying to be helpful, I really do. But it is also tiresome, because underlying your suggestions is an assumption that I'm some lazy, disengaged, etc., parent who just isn't trying hard enough to help her child learn effectively. That I'm just screaming for schools to open because I don't want to parent my kid.

I have engaged. I have thrown everything I have into this, plus time and money I don't, to try to make distance learning work for him because I appreciate that if we could make distance learning effective for everyone, it would solve this whole issue because we would simply continue with distance learning until the pandemic is over. But distance learning isn't working for him. In some ways, I'd rather see APS punt on this whole school year, just cancel it and repeat the year next year, because I'm deeply worried that my child is getting left behind and that no one in the schools is going to take responsibility for making up what he didn't learn this year.

I'm also worried about the toll this is taking on him mentally. He is now in teletherapy (that I'm running up credit card debt to pay for) because the effects of the isolation became so bad that I was worried he was going to hurt himself. He is in sixth grade, in a bunch of classes with kids he doesn't know (because his school somehow managed to put him in classes with almost no one from his elementary school). His middle school has done virtually nothing to help the sixth graders integrate socially through this, so online learning has become a huge source of anxiety for him, always worried about whether his picture is showing on everyone else's screen (and afraid to speak up to ask a question because then he'll definitely be on everyone's screens, even after he's done talking) and a bunch of kids who barely know him will see him doing something embarrassing and that's how everyone at middle school will know him going forward. If I didn't have to work, I would withdraw him and homeschool because I am that worried about the toll this is taking on him, but becoming homeless would take an even worse toll.

So please, go ahead and keep assuming that I'm just some ignorant, disengaged parent who doesn't care about teachers, but also know that your assumptions are false and offensive. I care about the teachers, but I can't care about them more than I care about my own child.

To the parent who wrote this: I am so, so sorry to hear this. Have you reached out to the school? Because if one of my students’ parents told me this, I would be bending over backward to get them support.

What kind of support do you think the school should be able to provide? If there's something our school could be doing but isn't, I'd be happy to hear it.

DP. There isn’t. But I think you should also be realistic that your son has school anxiety. Possibly general anxiety exacerbated by it. If he doesn’t know kids in his classes and is afraid they’ll see him in camera, how does that work when it’s time to go back in? It’s good you have him in therapy. I dont envision that need going away even in hybrid because your kid has anxiety. Probably always will. There’s nothing wrong with that, lots of kids do. But distance learning didn’t create if and hybrid won’t fix it. He is at a vulnerable age in a pandemic and his life is upside down. He will have other things that cause anxiety in school. Based on what I know of secondary kids, he sounds like my students who hate and avoid group work and presentations too. Don’t socialize much at school. I’m not trying to tell you there’s nothing wrong and you’re doing the right things - but I also think you’re pinning too much hope on hybrid “fixing” him. Normal 5x a week in person school is ...really hard for kids like your son. Whatever the format.

This is a very ignorant statement that reflects nothing but your own biases and agenda.

I’m trying to help a mom. Who could honestly be the mom of any one of my students and this is what I would say to them. What agenda does that serve.

DP. Nah, you’re just a hateful bitch who maligns children to suit your own ends.

I’m the PP who talked about bending over backwards to help this family. First of all, I’m elementary, so middle school may be different. And I would be alarmed and concerned if a parent told me these things were going n with one of “my” kiddos. I’d start by reaching out to an administrator, and we’d arrange a meeting (online) with the parent, me (teacher), school counselor, and school psychologist.

I don’t know exactly what they can do for you, mama (or dad), but they can’t help at all if they don’t know about these issues.

Some possibilities include time with the school counselor or psychologist, possibly changing at least a few classes so he knows some people, and being accommodating about camera requirements and some assignments.

And what if what the child needed was to see someone in person, to be taught in person, are you willing to do that?

What you are suggesting is not even help by the way. It’s just nonsense. “We will have a zoom meeting to fix that kid right up!”
Please stop patting yourself on the back.
This is t help at all. It’s just one more meeting to add to the poor kid and family’s overwhelm.

If you really, truly want to help, then stop pretending that virtue is working for all kids, be willing to say that this situation isn’t good and we need to work on returning some kids to in person learning. It is safe to do so but that means you as a teacher now need to give up your comfy routine of being at home.

She has the right to say that she doesn't want to be the "someone in person." Just like you have the right to move on and figure out a different solution to your problem. Stop trying to pin this on her. She has a right to keep herself safe for her family. She doesn't have to agree with you. As a parent I completely disagree with your statement "it is safe to do so." I have no problem backing up teachers who say that it isn't safe for them so they aren't going to do it. Stop being such a bully.

DP. That is her prerogative, but it’s disingenuous to put up this facade of “I’d do everything I could to get this child the help they need” when you’re not actually willing to do so. Just be honest - “sorry your child is struggling, but you’ll have to figure it out yourself because I don’t want schools to reopen.”

Would you risk your health and life for someone else’s kid? Seriously. You would not. I can care about your kids but my job does not require me to put them above my OWN physical health and life.

You mean like medical professionals do every day to care for covid patients? Like grocery store workers do so you can buy food? Please don’t pretend there aren’t a lot of people out there working in person despite the risk, because that’s what’s necessary to do their job effectively. The data so far indicates virtual learning isn’t very effective for an awful lot of students.