Union Station at 10 PM on a Wednesday?
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Anonymous
Uber? Rando drivers and rando cars? |
Anonymous
| As other PPs have said, Union Station even in the before times is pretty quiet later in the evenings. And yes, there are homeless people wandering around and it can feel a bit foreboding. But getting off a train and walking to the exit in order to grab a taxi or an Uber is *not* dangerous for anyone. I have a sheltered teenager and the only way to help them become adults is to let them find their way on their own. The only thing I would tell my kid is that walking alone at night with earbuds in is probably a bad idea. |
Anonymous
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OP I think you have anxiety.
If you are that nervous about this, maybe you and your husband should take your son on a test run to union station at night to see what it’s like and to make sure he knows where to go and how to avoid scary people. You have to let him go. You know it’s not good to hover this much over a 20-year-old. You keep saying he’s naive— he may be that way because of sheltering. I say this with kindness. Take a breath, prepare him for the trip, have a good plan (I’d hire a private driver to meet him) and let him grow up a little. |
Anonymous
Thousands of people walk around Capitol Hill at night with no problem every evening. There is nothing special about the dark that will make your son less safe than he is during the day. This is a very odd response. |
Anonymous
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I agree that as sketchy as it might be, he should be able to get to the taxi/uber pickup. No earbuds, focus on surroundings, follow everyone else going the same way, don't engage with random people in the station.
All that said: if the metro option means you have to pick him up at Reston (or wherever) to get home, I'd just drive to the station to get him--it will take FOREVER on the metro and the whole thing would just be much faster. |
Anonymous
NP but you are not helping your son by doing all of this planning and fretting for him. He needs to be in uncomfortable situations and new situations to get his bearings and get some street smarts. That is really important to develop. He is an adult, and I would worry that if you keep projecting your anxiety on to him that he will eventually distance himself from you. I have some friends with very involved parents and they eventually kept them at arms length because they wanted to live their lives. Let him figure this out, it's not that hard. |
Anonymous
| My boys have been taking the metro alone since 6th grade. If your son can't handle the metro, he probably should not be going to NY alone. I'm happy to send my 8th grader to baby sit him though. |
Anonymous
So you’re saying your husband has thought you’ve had anxiety for years but you refused to take his concerns seriously. When the internet strangers you ask for advice (after consulting friends and extended family) for how you can plan a day trip (for your adult son because you feel like public transit is unsafe) and they pick up on your anxiety vibes, you deflect and dismiss them because they don’t participate in objectively dangerous behavior and pretend that’s clinical anxiety too. One anxious way of responding to this situation would be to forbid him to go. Funny that you’re not doing that, since he’s an adult and doesn’t need permission. Another anxiety ridden response is to try to control everything, like you’re doing. Did he ask you do plan every little detail? Really ask, like “mom, can you help me with this” or give up and say “fine you plan it” after you dismissed everything he said as naive? If you’d try public transportation and familiarize yourself with the situations you’re concerned about, you’d probably get over some of your anxiety. It feels foreign to you because it’s new. The labels you’re using (bullet train) and assumptions you’re making (bus is far superior to train) suggest to me that you’re not totally familiar with how it all works, and you’re trying to control something you don’t really know much about. One way to treat anxiety is exposure therapy. When you do something more and you’re familiar with it, it seems less scary. You desensitize yourself to it. That doesn’t mean you abandon common sense and personal safety, it means you don’t call 911 because a homeless person walks toward you. |
Anonymous
I thought I was the only person flummoxed by the idea that it is better to drive to BWI to New Carrollton from Reston? I was questioning geography! OP, is your son scared or are you scaring him? If he is scared then NYCis going to much worse. How will he traverse New York? Ask him his opinion. But driving to NC or BWI is nuts. Just pick him up at Union Station. Easy Peasy. |
Anonymous
Person who took the (acela) train every week to nyc, though have taken the regional a bunch - bwi is insanely easy. Step off the train, cross the tracks on the sky bridge, walk into the car. Kid can park there for $9/day. Highly recommend. |
Anonymous
Oh wait, not from Reston. If it bugs you, come get your kid from union station. Or have him park. Why is this a question you are trying to answer versus him? |
Anonymous
Because she has untreated anxiety. |
Anonymous
Picking him up from Union Station would mean Dad has to drive into a scary part of town and if the train is delayed dad will be sitting in a car outside just bait for evildoers. |
Anonymous
This made me laugh way harder than it should have. Most people of means traverse Europe solo by this age, OP. Cut the cord. |
Anonymous
Yes. That's what Uber is. Is there a question? |