Men, do you care about a woman’s salary or salary potential?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve already consulted lawyer who told me how much I’m leaving on the table.

His disposable income goes to his two cars and
Huge vacation home he bought in his own name. Obviously I use it but I do tons of work on its upkeep.

Well then you've made your bed (decided you'd rather live with him because he makes a ton of money) so now you have to lie in it. Either divorce him or stop complaining.

[Anonymous]

I asked my husband this and his answer was that it's not the salary, it's the brains, work ethic, and life goals he cared about. He wasn't interested in dating any woman who wasn't well-educated and intelligent, who didn't appreciate the value of hard work, and who didn't have goals to work towards. So salary was flexible - he would have been fine with a teacher earning $40K or a lawyer earning $400K. He earns a pretty high salary with good benefits so he didn't need a wife's income but didn't want to marry someone who wanted to sit around either. Since we've been together my salary has ranged from $125K to $425K, depending on what job I had and when - we made changes based on what we needed and wanted depending on our kids' ages. And a high salary isn't a guarantee of brains or work ethic either, so it's a really small part of the whole picture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I asked my husband this and his answer was that it's not the salary, it's the brains, work ethic, and life goals he cared about. He wasn't interested in dating any woman who wasn't well-educated and intelligent, who didn't appreciate the value of hard work, and who didn't have goals to work towards. So salary was flexible - he would have been fine with a teacher earning $40K or a lawyer earning $400K. He earns a pretty high salary with good benefits so he didn't need a wife's income but didn't want to marry someone who wanted to sit around either. Since we've been together my salary has ranged from $125K to $425K, depending on what job I had and when - we made changes based on what we needed and wanted depending on our kids' ages. And a high salary isn't a guarantee of brains or work ethic either, so it's a really small part of the whole picture.

This is what I see IRL too. The wives of high earners start out with careers and may keep them or SAH, but they share the same values.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They should care about wife's intelligence the most. It's the biggest indicator of their children's future intelligence.

This is why DH married me. Joke’s on him!

(JK we do fine)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I asked my husband this and his answer was that it's not the salary, it's the brains, work ethic, and life goals he cared about. He wasn't interested in dating any woman who wasn't well-educated and intelligent, who didn't appreciate the value of hard work, and who didn't have goals to work towards. So salary was flexible - he would have been fine with a teacher earning $40K or a lawyer earning $400K. He earns a pretty high salary with good benefits so he didn't need a wife's income but didn't want to marry someone who wanted to sit around either. Since we've been together my salary has ranged from $125K to $425K, depending on what job I had and when - we made changes based on what we needed and wanted depending on our kids' ages. And a high salary isn't a guarantee of brains or work ethic either, so it's a really small part of the whole picture.

This. 100%

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I asked my husband this and his answer was that it's not the salary, it's the brains, work ethic, and life goals he cared about. He wasn't interested in dating any woman who wasn't well-educated and intelligent, who didn't appreciate the value of hard work, and who didn't have goals to work towards. So salary was flexible - he would have been fine with a teacher earning $40K or a lawyer earning $400K. He earns a pretty high salary with good benefits so he didn't need a wife's income but didn't want to marry someone who wanted to sit around either. Since we've been together my salary has ranged from $125K to $425K, depending on what job I had and when - we made changes based on what we needed and wanted depending on our kids' ages. And a high salary isn't a guarantee of brains or work ethic either, so it's a really small part of the whole picture.

This. 100%

+1

[Anonymous]

It was all about our compatibility. My wife and I were aligned in our lifestyle, how we wanted to build a family/raise kids etc. The income was always secondary. She makes about 75k a year as a consultant. It's great to have, but if she said she wanted to quit to focus on family/kids/personal growth, I'd be fine with it. It's all good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. I don’t see it as the actual salary per se, but more from an educational and motivational standard.

You can tell early on which women never plan to work outside if the house and for me that is a fundamental mismatch. This is much different than a woman that has a stimulating job/profession and we jointly decide for one of us to reduce hours or step out of the work force temporarily.

If a woman had a fluff degree and can’t handle her own bills or be on her own before marriage—that’s a red flag for me. I want to raise competent, motivated intelligent children...especially daughters that are t taught “the man is the plan”. Plans can go horribly wrong.

This is what DH says. He is in biglaw, I am a STEM PhD. He has always said he is attracted to my ambition and intellectual drive but doesn't care about my salary, although it has been helpful. If I wanted to stay home to go to mid-day spin class, that would not be acceptable, but if I wanted to take a pay cut for something meaningful or a new experience, he would be supportive.

[Anonymous]

New poster - I haven't read the entire thread, but the answer is no. Men don't care about a woman's salary, job title or, my favorite absurdity, her "professional accomplishments."

We as men do not view women as providers the way women view us. It's simply not part of the attraction or calculation for us.

A woman who's crazy irresponsible in how she handles money is a huge red flag, but what she does for a living or how much she makes doesn't matter one wit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:New poster - I haven't read the entire thread, but the answer is no. Men don't care about a woman's salary, job title or, my favorite absurdity, her "professional accomplishments."

We as men do not view women as providers the way women view us. It's simply not part of the attraction or calculation for us.

A woman who's crazy irresponsible in how she handles money is a huge red flag, but what she does for a living or how much she makes doesn't matter one wit.

+ A million

Looks, looks, and looks barring any big red flags.

Once you pass a threshold of things like personality, etc. It is all about looks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:New poster - I haven't read the entire thread, but the answer is no. Men don't care about a woman's salary, job title or, my favorite absurdity, her "professional accomplishments."

We as men do not view women as providers the way women view us. It's simply not part of the attraction or calculation for us.

A woman who's crazy irresponsible in how she handles money is a huge red flag, but what she does for a living or how much she makes doesn't matter one wit.

+ A million

Looks, looks, and looks barring any big red flags.

Once you pass a threshold of things like personality, etc. It is all about looks.

Men are not complicated. Pretty simple.

[Anonymous]

New poster at 16:06 again.

Just want to point out that looks are a starting point for men. We don't fall in love with looks, we fall in love with persons.

We just don't care about her job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve already consulted lawyer who told me how much I’m leaving on the table.

His disposable income goes to his two cars and
Huge vacation home he bought in his own name. Obviously I use it but I do tons of work on its upkeep.

Well then you've made your bed (decided you'd rather live with him because he makes a ton of money) so now you have to lie in it. Either divorce him or stop complaining.

Sorry you’ve misunderstood, not that it matters at all. I’m leaving money on the table by staying (bc I dont want to see my kid half of the time). The

[Anonymous]

No.

[Anonymous]

It depends. If she is insisting on a certain # of kids that must attend private school and wear certain clothing brands and we live is a specific zip code and we have a membership at a specific country club and go on regular vacations — then hell yes, DW, you’re gonna work for it too!!