Men, do you care about a woman’s salary or salary potential?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone I know from law school married another professional. All the people at my job are married to other professionals. Really wealthy men, at least top 5%, don’t care about a spouse’s income. The other 95%/ those making less than $200K care. Times have changed and we live in a two income society. That doesn’t work well if you marry someone who can’t bring in an income.

DCUM is skewed, because every man here makes over $400K a year. For the rest of America, it matters. For my husband who makes $150K, it mattered. He would “date” women who didn’t make much money, but never consider marrying them. I was marriage material because he was attracted to me and I made money. Enough women running around with decent jobs today that men can hold out for one that makes an income.

That's because, silly, professional women dominated those men's social circles. Those were the women in their dating pool.

These men didn't care about the money or the job titles, only the relative "hotness" of fertility, health and nurture. Heck, I know lots of guys who married women like this. They were all "hot." They didn't marry the homely, overweight and harsh woman with the most "professional accomplishments."

We care about the latter very much in evaluating job candidates, just not in evaluating potential mates. Women just don't get that and demand that we "should be" attracted to those whom you direct.

It ain't never going to happen, sorry.

Yes, but most of these women are not hot. I’m not hot. My colleagues are not hot. When you say men want hot women, you must mean reasonably cute and not ugly. That’s much different than men only want hot women. And in these cases, men will take cute and making a salary over not cute or low earner. With the very attainable cute standard, finding a mate that also makes a solid living is very attainable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone I know from law school married another professional. All the people at my job are married to other professionals. Really wealthy men, at least top 5%, don’t care about a spouse’s income. The other 95%/ those making less than $200K care. Times have changed and we live in a two income society. That doesn’t work well if you marry someone who can’t bring in an income.

DCUM is skewed, because every man here makes over $400K a year. For the rest of America, it matters. For my husband who makes $150K, it mattered. He would “date” women who didn’t make much money, but never consider marrying them. I was marriage material because he was attracted to me and I made money. Enough women running around with decent jobs today that men can hold out for one that makes an income.

That's because, silly, professional women dominated those men's social circles. Those were the women in their dating pool.

These men didn't care about the money or the job titles, only the relative "hotness" of fertility, health and nurture. Heck, I know lots of guys who married women like this. They were all "hot." They didn't marry the homely, overweight and harsh woman with the most "professional accomplishments."

We care about the latter very much in evaluating job candidates, just not in evaluating potential mates. Women just don't get that and demand that we "should be" attracted to those whom you direct.

It ain't never going to happen, sorry.

Yes, but most of these women are not hot. I’m not hot. My colleagues are not hot. When you say men want hot women, you must mean reasonably cute and not ugly. That’s much different than men only want hot women. And in these cases, men will take cute and making a salary over not cute or low earner. With the very attainable cute standard, finding a mate that also makes a solid living is very attainable.

Married female here, so no dog in this fight. The way it was explained to me by a group of male friends back in the day is that women need to meet a threshold of attractiveness for a guy. The women also need to meet a threshold of certain other traits that vary for each guy, such as educated, certain religion or lack thereof, wants kids, etc. After these thresholds are cleared, it's about fit. Guys won't marry the hottest woman they can get and ignore everything else, but they also won't marry or even date a woman who doesn't clear the looks threshold for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone I know from law school married another professional. All the people at my job are married to other professionals. Really wealthy men, at least top 5%, don’t care about a spouse’s income. The other 95%/ those making less than $200K care. Times have changed and we live in a two income society. That doesn’t work well if you marry someone who can’t bring in an income.

DCUM is skewed, because every man here makes over $400K a year. For the rest of America, it matters. For my husband who makes $150K, it mattered. He would “date” women who didn’t make much money, but never consider marrying them. I was marriage material because he was attracted to me and I made money. Enough women running around with decent jobs today that men can hold out for one that makes an income.

That's because, silly, professional women dominated those men's social circles. Those were the women in their dating pool.

These men didn't care about the money or the job titles, only the relative "hotness" of fertility, health and nurture. Heck, I know lots of guys who married women like this. They were all "hot." They didn't marry the homely, overweight and harsh woman with the most "professional accomplishments."

We care about the latter very much in evaluating job candidates, just not in evaluating potential mates. Women just don't get that and demand that we "should be" attracted to those whom you direct.

It ain't never going to happen, sorry.

Yes, but most of these women are not hot. I’m not hot. My colleagues are not hot. When you say men want hot women, you must mean reasonably cute and not ugly. That’s much different than men only want hot women. And in these cases, men will take cute and making a salary over not cute or low earner. With the very attainable cute standard, finding a mate that also makes a solid living is very attainable.

100% on the money.

My DW is quite pretty. I was definitely attracted when we first started going out. She is also personable and gets along with my friends and family. We both made low 6-figures at the time we met.

We now both make great incomes, around $200K each. We want for nothing, having one kid is very affordable, live inside the Beltway in a nice neighborhood. TBH, I will take "cute and a good salary" over "hot and broke" 99 times out of 100. And, honestly, the "cute" ladies put in more effort in the bedroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone I know from law school married another professional. All the people at my job are married to other professionals. Really wealthy men, at least top 5%, don’t care about a spouse’s income. The other 95%/ those making less than $200K care. Times have changed and we live in a two income society. That doesn’t work well if you marry someone who can’t bring in an income.

DCUM is skewed, because every man here makes over $400K a year. For the rest of America, it matters. For my husband who makes $150K, it mattered. He would “date” women who didn’t make much money, but never consider marrying them. I was marriage material because he was attracted to me and I made money. Enough women running around with decent jobs today that men can hold out for one that makes an income.

That's because, silly, professional women dominated those men's social circles. Those were the women in their dating pool.

These men didn't care about the money or the job titles, only the relative "hotness" of fertility, health and nurture. Heck, I know lots of guys who married women like this. They were all "hot." They didn't marry the homely, overweight and harsh woman with the most "professional accomplishments."

We care about the latter very much in evaluating job candidates, just not in evaluating potential mates. Women just don't get that and demand that we "should be" attracted to those whom you direct.

It ain't never going to happen, sorry.

Yes, but most of these women are not hot. I’m not hot. My colleagues are not hot. When you say men want hot women, you must mean reasonably cute and not ugly. That’s much different than men only want hot women. And in these cases, men will take cute and making a salary over not cute or low earner. With the very attainable cute standard, finding a mate that also makes a solid living is very attainable.

Married female here, so no dog in this fight. The way it was explained to me by a group of male friends back in the day is that women need to meet a threshold of attractiveness for a guy. The women also need to meet a threshold of certain other traits that vary for each guy, such as educated, certain religion or lack thereof, wants mi kids, etc. After these thresholds are cleared, it's about fit. Guys won't marry the hottest woman they can get and ignore everything else, but they also won't marry or even date a woman who doesn't clear the looks threshold for them.

On the contrary my dear. The married man I was dating married his wife simply based on her family financial gains. She was intelligent but unattractive. So the men may marry them but they will play outside.

[Anonymous]

Don’t care about the career. I do care about her attractiveness and personality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone I know from law school married another professional. All the people at my job are married to other professionals. Really wealthy men, at least top 5%, don’t care about a spouse’s income. The other 95%/ those making less than $200K care. Times have changed and we live in a two income society. That doesn’t work well if you marry someone who can’t bring in an income.

DCUM is skewed, because every man here makes over $400K a year. For the rest of America, it matters. For my husband who makes $150K, it mattered. He would “date” women who didn’t make much money, but never consider marrying them. I was marriage material because he was attracted to me and I made money. Enough women running around with decent jobs today that men can hold out for one that makes an income.

That's because, silly, professional women dominated those men's social circles. Those were the women in their dating pool.

These men didn't care about the money or the job titles, only the relative "hotness" of fertility, health and nurture. Heck, I know lots of guys who married women like this. They were all "hot." They didn't marry the homely, overweight and harsh woman with the most "professional accomplishments."

We care about the latter very much in evaluating job candidates, just not in evaluating potential mates. Women just don't get that and demand that we "should be" attracted to those whom you direct.

It ain't never going to happen, sorry.

Yes, but most of these women are not hot. I’m not hot. My colleagues are not hot. When you say men want hot women, you must mean reasonably cute and not ugly. That’s much different than men only want hot women. And in these cases, men will take cute and making a salary over not cute or low earner. With the very attainable cute standard, finding a mate that also makes a solid living is very attainable.

Married female here, so no dog in this fight. The way it was explained to me by a group of male friends back in the day is that women need to meet a threshold of attractiveness for a guy. The women also need to meet a threshold of certain other traits that vary for each guy, such as educated, certain religion or lack thereof, wants kids, etc. After these thresholds are cleared, it's about fit. Guys won't marry the hottest woman they can get and ignore everything else, but they also won't marry or even date a woman who doesn't clear the looks threshold for them.

Man quoted in you post here - thank you for this. What your "guy friends" described to you was compatibility. Yes, we care about this very much.

We also care about attractiveness, which is unique to each of us. I also said upthread, "we don't fall in love with looks, we fall in love with persons."

The OP asked if salary or salary potential was part of this. The answer, as many of us have tried to express, is no.

It's simply not part of the equation for men.

[Anonymous]

I run in UMC/MC circles. No late twenties- early thirties man I know cares about a woman's job. ALL of them have married women who are not nearly as well educated or accomplished as them. One even married a girl from a LMC background, another a pretty DACA recipient.

These are all white UMC well to do men.