Reaction to college acceptance

[Anonymous]

Uva is king turd of crap mountain. The ivys and Hopkins of the world are the prize.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes - this is news for grandparents, not other parents of seniors. Unless they ask, don't offer up.

Your child will get all the congratulations they deserve in April when everyone knows where they are going.

Well, some of us do not have grandparents any longer. Yes that is who we wish we could share it with but we cannot. Our friends are our family. So that’s where we’re sharing. And we have still gotten some of this reaction. So I’ve begun not sharing unless asked. I on the other hand am so excited for my friends kids so I don’t really understand it. It’s not bragging it’s excitement for your child. Especially if your child has had any struggles.

[Anonymous]

"Larla got into UVA!"

"Oh, great, congratulations!"

"We're so excited!"

"Oh, I'm sure! What are you doing for the holidays?"

OP: Thinking about how jealous you are of my family's obvious superiority

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The other parent may be anxious because their child hadn't heard from their top choice yet or they got rejected from their top choice and were still dealing with it.

Some people have difficulty being happy for others.

Could be many things but who cares? Your child is going to their 1st choice.

This is not about being happy for others! How can you be so clueless? It is in poor taste and is bragging! Let me guess, you also posted it on Facebook or some other nonsense. Grow up, OP.

I'm not the OP but I do feel that some people react to others good news by an immediate thought to how this compares to them. If that makes sense. I was trying to be nice in my reply but the point was it doesn't matter how others react.

My daughters had good luck with college acceptances and I never told most people until the girls decided where they were going and then, only when asked. It is annoying to hear and see constant bragging. Since I am no saint, my family would sometimes chuckle privately at some of the stuff people were bragging about. Family secret. Shhh.

This is a serious question, do you have a child applying for University this year or in the next couple of years? If not it is just creepy you are still on this board dragging people, you are both pathetic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, more likely they just don’t particularly care where your kid is going to college.

OP here. That may be true, but I got a very different response from friends whose kids are not applying or whose parents didn’t go to selective schools. Their response was lots of genuine happiness.

At many private schools, the parents and students are asked to refrain from announcing their school choice until the spring. It's wise to show humility and grace at a time when others are on pins and needles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Larla got into UVA!"

"Oh, great, congratulations!"

"We're so excited!"

"Oh, I'm sure! What are you doing for the holidays?"

OP: Thinking about how jealous you are of my family's obvious superiority

That was my read on it, too, PP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People are jealous. I learned my lesson to not share news.

OP here. This is close to my own thinking. Here are my two thoughts:

1) We’re not one of those families that believes a student must cure cancer to go to a good school. My kid took tough courses, got good grades and test scores, and wrote great essays. That’s it. I think there’s disbelief that it can be that simple. So, there’s the notion that we’re “lucky.”

2) We do not believe that somewhat better ranked privates are worth the money; instead we see UVA as a great value. Thus, we were very practical with the ED selection. Many other kids with similar qualifications ED to a reach, and are oftentimes disappointed. Typically, these students cycle back to a better state school. From that perspective, we cut the madness short. Again, we are “lucky.”

In sum, I think it’s jealously and disbelief that we got the “prize” without the craziness.

You sound a little crazy though. Not totally nuts - but "overthinking it way too much" crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People are jealous. I learned my lesson to not share news.

OP here. This is close to my own thinking. Here are my two thoughts:

1) We’re not one of those families that believes a student must cure cancer to go to a good school. My kid took tough courses, got good grades and test scores, and wrote great essays. That’s it. I think there’s disbelief that it can be that simple. So, there’s the notion that we’re “lucky.”

2) We do not believe that somewhat better ranked privates are worth the money; instead we see UVA as a great value. Thus, we were very practical with the ED selection. Many other kids with similar qualifications ED to a reach, and are oftentimes disappointed. Typically, these students cycle back to a better state school. From that perspective, we cut the madness short. Again, we are “lucky.”

In sum, I think it’s jealously and disbelief that we got the “prize” without the craziness.

Congrats on the smug post of the day. Maybe you should just stop . . . .

o

OP has very low EQ.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People are jealous. I learned my lesson to not share news.

OP here. This is close to my own thinking. Here are my two thoughts:

1) We’re not one of those families that believes a student must cure cancer to go to a good school. My kid took tough courses, got good grades and test scores, and wrote great essays. That’s it. I think there’s disbelief that it can be that simple. So, there’s the notion that we’re “lucky.”

2) We do not believe that somewhat better ranked privates are worth the money; instead we see UVA as a great value. Thus, we were very practical with the ED selection. Many other kids with similar qualifications ED to a reach, and are oftentimes disappointed. Typically, these students cycle back to a better state school. From that perspective, we cut the madness short. Again, we are “lucky.”

In sum, I think it’s jealously and disbelief that we got the “prize” without the craziness.

OP, your second post indicates you are a bit of a condescending a**. I'm happy for your child. It's their achievement, not your's. Hopefully they are more grounded and humble than you. My kids are younger so they haven't applied yet. We're a pretty low key family but when my kid has made a team or gotten a solo/starring role, I was always aware that another child was disappointed that they didn't make the team or get the solo/part they wanted. Therefore, I didn't run around telling everyone "our big news." I gave people time to deal with their disappointment and celebrated with my child within our family. I never once confused someone's disappointment with jealousy but you do you. I also didn't tell everyone because people have their own lives and unless they were close friends or family don't really care what my kids are up to because they are busy with their own kids.

[Anonymous]

I have my own technique which works well with the OPs of the world. If the OP shared her news with me, and I could tell she was watching me closely for signs of jealousy, I would make an over-the-top display of happiness for them. I really go all out so there is no doubt in their mind that I am truly happy and not the least bit envious. It’s satisfying to see that glimmer of disappointment in their eyes, that they didn’t make me jealous with their news.

I had a roommate in college who would “test” me like this all the time - brag about something and wait for me to act jealous or upset. When I finally realized that doing the opposite took the wind out of her sails, it became kind of fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People are jealous. I learned my lesson to not share news.

OP here. This is close to my own thinking. Here are my two thoughts:

1) We’re not one of those families that believes a student must cure cancer to go to a good school. My kid took tough courses, got good grades and test scores, and wrote great essays. That’s it. I think there’s disbelief that it can be that simple. So, there’s the notion that we’re “lucky.”

2) We do not believe that somewhat better ranked privates are worth the money; instead we see UVA as a great value. Thus, we were very practical with the ED selection. Many other kids with similar qualifications ED to a reach, and are oftentimes disappointed. Typically, these students cycle back to a better state school. From that perspective, we cut the madness short. Again, we are “lucky.”

In sum, I think it’s jealously and disbelief that we got the “prize” without the craziness.

Just stop OP.

I actually think OP is right. This is an extremely competitive area and people don't even try to hide it. Congratulations, OP! That said, I am mindful that some of these other parents likely are completely stressed out over their own kid's applications. Because this definitely is a sensitive subject, I suggest not volunteering this news further to other parents of seniors unless they specifically ask you about your kid's college plans. I am sure your kid will do great at UVA!!

This pretty much sums it up-as a parent, I’m so over it. My husband and I both went to competitive colleges back in the day and went on to demanding professional careers and so did many people we know. No one seems particularly happy around here. My kids are smart enough but not Uber competitive nor do they want to be. Maybe they are on the right track...

[Anonymous]

UVA has a very good reputation and many -- including many in academia itself -- do consider it to be "elite." Anyone who suggests otherwise is deluding herself.

But no one but you cares where your kid was accepted to college, and a decade from now it's not even going to matter to you. In the end, college is college. It really is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have my own technique which works well with the OPs of the world. If the OP shared her news with me, and I could tell she was watching me closely for signs of jealousy, I would make an over-the-top display of happiness for them. I really go all out so there is no doubt in their mind that I am truly happy and not the least bit envious. It’s satisfying to see that glimmer of disappointment in their eyes, that they didn’t make me jealous with their news.

I had a roommate in college who would “test” me like this all the time - brag about something and wait for me to act jealous or upset. When I finally realized that doing the opposite took the wind out of her sails, it became kind of fun.

If only you could have been genuinely happy for them - maybe less “fun” but certainly less repulsive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have my own technique which works well with the OPs of the world. If the OP shared her news with me, and I could tell she was watching me closely for signs of jealousy, I would make an over-the-top display of happiness for them. I really go all out so there is no doubt in their mind that I am truly happy and not the least bit envious. It’s satisfying to see that glimmer of disappointment in their eyes, that they didn’t make me jealous with their news.

I had a roommate in college who would “test” me like this all the time - brag about something and wait for me to act jealous or upset. When I finally realized that doing the opposite took the wind out of her sails, it became kind of fun.

If only you could have been genuinely happy for them - maybe less “fun” but certainly less repulsive.

If only you could have read my post more accurately. I’ve bolded the relevant portions to help you out. Clearly, I only act like that when dealing with an obnoxious braggart. I’m always happy for normal people who aren’t making a point of bragging.

[Anonymous]

OP sounds nutty and i am thrilled no one gave her the reaction she thought the news deserved.