Why do your affluent kids "need to be in school?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In the middle of a growing pandemic, why do your kids "need to be in school" this fall? One of my former classmates just posted this and several people on this forum have done so as well. She is a wealthy attorney, member of a country club etc. She has the means to hire a caregiver to supplement distance learning and plenty of friends that she could set up a social pod with for her kids to socialize. Why do her kids "need to be in school" to the detriment of public health? Plenty of people are saving money now due to not having to commute, not having to pay for activities, not shopping and buying clothes, eating out less etc. Why can't they hire a caregiver to help their kids with distance learning? I understand that this is out of the price range for many, but not sure why so many affluent people in this area are saying their kids "need to be in school."

Because the evidence is clear that having children be in school is not to the "detriment of public health."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because people prioritize how they choose to spend their money and want vs. need are two different things. They can but they don't want to. Its easier to send them to school.

If its a mental health issue, you need to change what's going on in your home and make a better family dynamic. This is such a great time to spend time as a family.

So people with extroverted kids should just...get them lobotomies? I can't stand people like you, who think that everyone who is having a hard time just sucks at being part of a family. My husband and kids and I are doing fine, but I know others who are not, and for you to be so flippant and sanctimonious about it is obnoxious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you seriously on here saying “well you UMC+ kids don’t even need school anyway!!” Because that sounds like what you’re saying. Wow. What a horrible attitude for a teacher to take.

Are you seriously saying your UMC child will suffer terribly by not attending school for one or two more semesters? You know that many American kids do not attend camp or school every single summer right? They stay home and somehow survive without all the wonderful socialization and structure of school. UMC kids have tennis lessons and swimming lessons and baseball and mathnasium and kumon and music lessons and martial arts and private tutors and nannies at their fingertips, but they will be scarred forever? Come on now. You know what scars forever? COVID in your lungs.

You know what there's no evidence of, that having COVID will scar your lungs forever. Seriously, calm down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because people prioritize how they choose to spend their money and want vs. need are two different things. They can but they don't want to. Its easier to send them to school.

If its a mental health issue, you need to change what's going on in your home and make a better family dynamic. This is such a great time to spend time as a family.

So people with extroverted kids should just...get them lobotomies? I can't stand people like you, who think that everyone who is having a hard time just sucks at being part of a family. My husband and kids and I are doing fine, but I know others who are not, and for you to be so flippant and sanctimonious about it is obnoxious.

PP, you have to understand, this whole situation is a dream come true for the social awkward nerds who have been looking out at the world with envy for their whole lives. To see those who live their lives with joy suffering in isolation is making them feel superior and satisfied for the first time in their lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ultimately it's because parents (myself included) want the best for their kids, even at the expense of public health. School gives kids a sense of normalcy, and the absence of school has been extremely hard on them. I think it's easy for people who don't have kids to underestimate that.

But, my kids attend private school, and for 40K per kid, they were already in large classrooms with 12-15 kids per class. So they are likely to return full time, or close to it, anyway.

The "wealthy" families who insist their kids "must" return to school (but apparently were not wealthy enough to send their kids to private school) should take a hard look at what public schools were offering in the first place. They've long been overcrowded, and the pandemic is just highlighting that problem.

Re: the bold: If families would actually sacrifice for real, for a shorter but intense time, by doing serious isolation -- no grocery runs, no takeout, no distanced visits, no vacations to the beach "in a safe way," no playdates with neighbor kids because "they'll stay apart!" -- then we ALL could be returning to normalcy sooner. But because of "parents who want the best for their kids, even at the expense of public health," people insisted on a fake isolation with socializing, playdates, seeing the relatives, beach trips, restaurants "because we're in Phase Whatever now so it's safe" and "My kids NEED all this!"

And all over, cases are rising. Now it's all about school -- I must send my child to school because it's what's best for MY child and damn public health.

Before you say, "Well, people with kids don't understand all this," I have a kid. And i get that we are not the center of the universe.

This is honestly the first I have heard this. I have not heard that intensely quarantining for a short period of time will lead to returning to normalcy.

Because it's not true. And I'm on the more cautious side (have not been in a grocery store, have done takeout only once, have not gotten our hair cut, etc.). But this just isn't true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m so confused by posters saying that their kids will be devastated emotionally if not in school. Can’t your kids hang out with others now while socially distancing, talk via zoom, do outdoor sports, etc? Mine bike around the neighborhood, take walks, etc. with their friends all the time. I’m not saying it’s ideal, but most kids are very resilient. I don’t see this level of concern with kids who before the pandemic could have had much more social interaction, but chose to do much of their socialization via social media. Kids adapt...there are children of all ages all over the world now and historically who don’t or didn’t spend several hours a day with friends.

In the meantime, we are thinking creatively about how to get our kids some safe social interactions (outside, masks), so that DL school for a year isn’t the end of the world. We are also focusing on the positive benefits...our family unit is stronger than ever, we are getting a ton of exercise, we are working with our kids to experience things we didn’t prioritize before. I believe our kids will be more resilient because of this.

I have one kid who isn't adaptable. She's rigid and has anxiety issues that we're working on. She doesn't just need socialization, she needs independence from her parents/nanny. She hates to feel like she's being told what to do, which comes from even suggestions like us saying "lunch time" or "dinner is ready" and so she fights us every minute of every day. Big screaming ugly fights. In a group setting she just goes along with the crowd because it's not directed at her. She's happy to join the crowd. We all need a break from the fights and anger. She needs a vacation from feeling like she needs to fight. She needs time to let go of the anger and feel happy for just a bit. It's been a terrible experience being home for her.

Our other kid is fine. We could keep her home indefinitely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We don't. We supplement heavily even with our kids in school. We have actually been finding it easier to do this now, because there are so many online options offering free or nearly free opportunities. Both of us have post graduate degrees and are more than capable of educating our 6th grader. Our older kids are in college and we are supplementing for them as well. Is it ideal or what we would choose if there were no pandemic? No, but extraordinary times call for extraordinary measures.

Why do you do this? If your kids are getting such a subpar education, why don't you find them another school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don't. We supplement heavily even with our kids in school. We have actually been finding it easier to do this now, because there are so many online options offering free or nearly free opportunities. Both of us have post graduate degrees and are more than capable of educating our 6th grader. Our older kids are in college and we are supplementing for them as well. Is it ideal or what we would choose if there were no pandemic? No, but extraordinary times call for extraordinary measures.

Why do you do this? If your kids are getting such a subpar education, why don't you find them another school?

private schools is still more expensive

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because people prioritize how they choose to spend their money and want vs. need are two different things. They can but they don't want to. Its easier to send them to school.

If its a mental health issue, you need to change what's going on in your home and make a better family dynamic. This is such a great time to spend time as a family.

So people with extroverted kids should just...get them lobotomies? I can't stand people like you, who think that everyone who is having a hard time just sucks at being part of a family. My husband and kids and I are doing fine, but I know others who are not, and for you to be so flippant and sanctimonious about it is obnoxious.

PP, you have to understand, this whole situation is a dream come true for the social awkward nerds who have been looking out at the world with envy for their whole lives. To see those who live their lives with joy suffering in isolation is making them feel superior and satisfied for the first time in their lives.

PP you're responding to - I guess you're right. The COVID situation plus the current social and political climate have taught me a lot of unflattering things about people I thought I knew. The above attitude is just another example of people's fragility that manifests itself as meanness. It's sad.

[Anonymous]

Troll

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don't. We supplement heavily even with our kids in school. We have actually been finding it easier to do this now, because there are so many online options offering free or nearly free opportunities. Both of us have post graduate degrees and are more than capable of educating our 6th grader. Our older kids are in college and we are supplementing for them as well. Is it ideal or what we would choose if there were no pandemic? No, but extraordinary times call for extraordinary measures.

Why do you do this? If your kids are getting such a subpar education, why don't you find them another school?

private schools is still more expensive

Well, on the plus side, they teach correct grammar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don't. We supplement heavily even with our kids in school. We have actually been finding it easier to do this now, because there are so many online options offering free or nearly free opportunities. Both of us have post graduate degrees and are more than capable of educating our 6th grader. Our older kids are in college and we are supplementing for them as well. Is it ideal or what we would choose if there were no pandemic? No, but extraordinary times call for extraordinary measures.

Why do you do this? If your kids are getting such a subpar education, why don't you find them another school?

private schools is still more expensive

I am the OP of this comment. Our older kids attended private middle and high schools and our youngest was scheduled to attend private middle but we opted to keep him in public for now due to the pandemic. Supplementation is not all "academic" but it is educational. For example, our 6th grader is currently participating doing a reading group of the book Stamped by Jason Reynolds and Ibram X. Kendi, he also does Brain Yoga on IGLive with Jason Reynolds every Friday and the writing prompts with the Library of Congress. He LOVES astronomy and all things space, so he has been attending events at Udvar Hazy since about 4th grade, right now they are all online, and they are offering so many, but so are other museums, he has participated in programs at almost every planetarium in the country since March. He has an online Spanish tutor that he has been working with for 2 years. In addition to these things which are fairly consistent, we will alsolook for random programs that he is interested in, JHU CTY programs, Minecraft coding, book clubs, religious study, history programs, honestly the options are limitless. He is currently not interested in studying an instrument, but he has a rudimentary understanding of reading music and will be encouraged to take some type of music lessons. We make sure that we are hitting the basics (or what we consider basics), reading, writing, math, science, history, philosophy, music, foreign language, world cultures. I hope this answers your question.

[Anonymous]

I’ve never understood why wealthy people send their kids to public schools when they can afford private. They’ll spend big bucks on everything else but not education. To me, that’s backwards. I’m DCUM poor and I send my kid to private school. Aside from his health, nothing is more important than an education. You can’t go back and do it again. I won’t care too much if he has to do DL because his school did a great job last year especially last minute. They are paying teachers to come back a week early so they can have two weeks to prepare for DL since it will probably happen sometime this fall. I’m a public school teacher and they would never pay us a dime to do anything. They try to guilt us into take DL courses this summer for free. You get what you pay for. I think people are seeing this now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 6 yo (rising 2nd grader) is absolutely miserable. She's brooding and angry and anxious. She misses her peers terribly. She hates being told what to do by a parent or nanny, but is perfectly happy to go along with her peers in a classroom setting. I just can't keep fighting with her. Even vacations haven't helped. She needs some space from her parents/nanny and to be in a stimulating environment with peers. I'm really worried about her mental health if we have to DL for the school year.

I'm finding this too. We hired a summer nanny for my 7 year old but increasingly I am having to intervene because DD is in a foul mood. I am really on the fence about DL because I'm anxious (prefer not to risk school) and we can stretch to afford a tutor. But school is just different. It's a better learning experience.

We are looking at private school, which is a different kind of anxiety for me because I attended a private K-12 and made a very deliberate choice for public school. Also, it costs even more than the nanny and it will be difficult to transition back to public.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve never understood why wealthy people send their kids to public schools when they can afford private. They’ll spend big bucks on everything else but not education. To me, that’s backwards. I’m DCUM poor and I send my kid to private school. Aside from his health, nothing is more important than an education. You can’t go back and do it again. I won’t care too much if he has to do DL because his school did a great job last year especially last minute. They are paying teachers to come back a week early so they can have two weeks to prepare for DL since it will probably happen sometime this fall. I’m a public school teacher and they would never pay us a dime to do anything. They try to guilt us into take DL courses this summer for free. You get what you pay for. I think people are seeing this now.

Because while private schools can do some things better than public schools, there are some things that they cannot replicate.

I would never send my kids to private school. My brother is sending his kids to private school and is realizing the problem, but feels locked in.