Why do your affluent kids "need to be in school?"

[Anonymous]

Are you seriously on here saying “well you UMC+ kids don’t even need school anyway!!” Because that sounds like what you’re saying. Wow. What a horrible attitude for a teacher to take.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In the middle of a growing pandemic, why do your kids "need to be in school" this fall? One of my former classmates just posted this and several people on this forum have done so as well. She is a wealthy attorney, member of a country club etc. She has the means to hire a caregiver to supplement distance learning and plenty of friends that she could set up a social pod with for her kids to socialize. Why do her kids "need to be in school" to the detriment of public health? Plenty of people are saving money now due to not having to commute, not having to pay for activities, not shopping and buying clothes, eating out less etc. Why can't they hire a caregiver to help their kids with distance learning? I understand that this is out of the price range for many, but not sure why so many affluent people in this area are saying their kids "need to be in school."

Assuming this is a serious question posed by an even half-way reasonable person (not sure that is the case), I will attempt to provide OP with an answer that she can comprehend. If you're a parent yourself (doubtful, just by the question), you know that your kids benefit from "being in school" in myriad ways that go far beyond the actual academic program.

School teaches kids to socialize. School teaches kids to function in groups, and around adults that are not their parents. School gives kids their first taste of independence. School challenges kids, allows them to fail and supports them as they pick themselves up again and move on. School provides a wealth of opportunities that are impossible to replicate through home distance learning, such as art, chorus groups, band, sports teams, physical education, assemblies, etc. School teaches kids that they are not in fact the center of the universe, which is often a revelation. School provides access to friends, potential friends and those we have to work harder to like. School is fun, hard, boring and exciting, often all in the same day, which is an important concept for kids to learn to deal with. School requires a level of behavior and self-discipline that is not required if one is sitting on one's own sofa in one's pajamas, eating cheetos while trying to follow a math class. School is a kid's first community. School provides an opportunity to be around other people's germs and get sick, thus building up immunity. School provides an opportunity to get hurt at recess, which teaches kids that yes, they can overcome pain. School provides access to supplemental services that are often essential, such as counseling. School provides a rhythm, a routine, a reason to get up and get dressed every morning. It is truly a child's purpose in life.

So yes, OP, as you wring your hands over the severity of this pandemic which, whose effect on children, BTW, is almost nil - I will side with the Academy of Pedetrics - you know, the experts, who contend that ALL children -- even wealthy little Biff and Bo -- NEED to be in school.

You have, in fact, sent your kids to school previously right? So they should have experienced all of these things. Is one more year with you, distance learning, a caregiver, and a social pod REALLY going to undo all of the socialization your kids for the past however many years? If your children don’t listen to you, that’s a parenting issue and frankly you shouldn’t be putting that on the school anyway. That’s akin to the parents who send their preschoolers to school in pajamas because they cannot get them dressed but somehow the teacher can. If your kid isn’t listening to your hired caregiver, guess what, they are probably not listening to their teacher either.

You’re not a parent are you? If you were you’d know that children are not mini adults. They are constantly growing and developing. Yes. Yes absolutely a year away from school would be extremely detrimental to any child. But you don’t care, do you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Isn't it a relatively recent development for the children of the wealthy to be housed in schools for much of the day? Children used to be educated at home without notably inferior mental health outcomes.

I’ve thought about this before, in the context of 19th century British fiction. The guys in Austen novels make a lot more sense if you think about how poorly socialized people were back then!

I see no evidence that they’re better socialized today.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In the middle of a growing pandemic, why do your kids "need to be in school" this fall? One of my former classmates just posted this and several people on this forum have done so as well. She is a wealthy attorney, member of a country club etc. She has the means to hire a caregiver to supplement distance learning and plenty of friends that she could set up a social pod with for her kids to socialize. Why do her kids "need to be in school" to the detriment of public health? Plenty of people are saving money now due to not having to commute, not having to pay for activities, not shopping and buying clothes, eating out less etc. Why can't they hire a caregiver to help their kids with distance learning? I understand that this is out of the price range for many, but not sure why so many affluent people in this area are saying their kids "need to be in school."

Assuming this is a serious question posed by an even half-way reasonable person (not sure that is the case), I will attempt to provide OP with an answer that she can comprehend. If you're a parent yourself (doubtful, just by the question), you know that your kids benefit from "being in school" in myriad ways that go far beyond the actual academic program.

School teaches kids to socialize. School teaches kids to function in groups, and around adults that are not their parents. School gives kids their first taste of independence. School challenges kids, allows them to fail and supports them as they pick themselves up again and move on. School provides a wealth of opportunities that are impossible to replicate through home distance learning, such as art, chorus groups, band, sports teams, physical education, assemblies, etc. School teaches kids that they are not in fact the center of the universe, which is often a revelation. School provides access to friends, potential friends and those we have to work harder to like. School is fun, hard, boring and exciting, often all in the same day, which is an important concept for kids to learn to deal with. School requires a level of behavior and self-discipline that is not required if one is sitting on one's own sofa in one's pajamas, eating cheetos while trying to follow a math class. School is a kid's first community. School provides an opportunity to be around other people's germs and get sick, thus building up immunity. School provides an opportunity to get hurt at recess, which teaches kids that yes, they can overcome pain. School provides access to supplemental services that are often essential, such as counseling. School provides a rhythm, a routine, a reason to get up and get dressed every morning. It is truly a child's purpose in life.

So yes, OP, as you wring your hands over the severity of this pandemic which, whose effect on children, BTW, is almost nil - I will side with the Academy of Pedetrics - you know, the experts, who contend that ALL children -- even wealthy little Biff and Bo -- NEED to be in school.

Yes, school would be better; no debate there. But without a year of school, my UMC children will be fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The whole “kids don’t transmit the virus to adults” is problematic in public schools. There are 18-19 year olds (in other words, adults) in 12th grade this fall.

That’s nice but my kids are ES aged so it has nothing to do with my comment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Isn't it a relatively recent development for the children of the wealthy to be housed in schools for much of the day? Children used to be educated at home without notably inferior mental health outcomes.

I’ve thought about this before, in the context of 19th century British fiction. The guys in Austen novels make a lot more sense if you think about how poorly socialized people were back then!

I see no evidence that they’re better socialized today.

My MIL was schooled by English tutors for herself and her siblings in an immensely wealthy family in Asia. If you met her you’d re-think that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you seriously on here saying “well you UMC+ kids don’t even need school anyway!!” Because that sounds like what you’re saying. Wow. What a horrible attitude for a teacher to take.

Are you seriously saying your UMC child will suffer terribly by not attending school for one or two more semesters? You know that many American kids do not attend camp or school every single summer right? They stay home and somehow survive without all the wonderful socialization and structure of school. UMC kids have tennis lessons and swimming lessons and baseball and mathnasium and kumon and music lessons and martial arts and private tutors and nannies at their fingertips, but they will be scarred forever? Come on now. You know what scars forever? COVID in your lungs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you seriously on here saying “well you UMC+ kids don’t even need school anyway!!” Because that sounds like what you’re saying. Wow. What a horrible attitude for a teacher to take.

Are you seriously saying your UMC child will suffer terribly by not attending school for one or two more semesters? You know that many American kids do not attend camp or school every single summer right? They stay home and somehow survive without all the wonderful socialization and structure of school. UMC kids have tennis lessons and swimming lessons and baseball and mathnasium and kumon and music lessons and martial arts and private tutors and nannies at their fingertips, but they will be scarred forever? Come on now. You know what scars forever? COVID in your lungs.

You're the same poster chiding people, telling them all they have to do is sit on the couch. If the isolation and stress is causing depression or anxiety or other mental health issues, well, they're not getting bombed or shot so they need to get over it.

I think posts like yours underscore the stress that we're all under. We're all losing it, it's just that some people are aware of it and others aren't.

[Anonymous]

UMC poster here and I agree with you OP.

It’s not about how it will or won’t impact my children.

It will impact my kids the same way it will impact all kids. It will change their world rapidly and prevent more benefits and more challenges. However/ that’s true of every schoolchild. What is true of my kids but NOT every school kid is that I can supplement in a myriad of ways

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you seriously on here saying “well you UMC+ kids don’t even need school anyway!!” Because that sounds like what you’re saying. Wow. What a horrible attitude for a teacher to take.

Are you seriously saying your UMC child will suffer terribly by not attending school for one or two more semesters? You know that many American kids do not attend camp or school every single summer right? They stay home and somehow survive without all the wonderful socialization and structure of school. UMC kids have tennis lessons and swimming lessons and baseball and mathnasium and kumon and music lessons and martial arts and private tutors and nannies at their fingertips, but they will be scarred forever? Come on now. You know what scars forever? COVID in your lungs.

You're the same poster chiding people, telling them all they have to do is sit on the couch. If the isolation and stress is causing depression or anxiety or other mental health issues, well, they're not getting bombed or shot so they need to get over it.

I think posts like yours underscore the stress that we're all under. We're all losing it, it's just that some people are aware of it and others aren't.

I don't see the complaints of the isolation. We spend time with our kids so its a non-issue. And, they play games online with their friends. What is going on in your home that your kids are so lonely and depressed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you seriously on here saying “well you UMC+ kids don’t even need school anyway!!” Because that sounds like what you’re saying. Wow. What a horrible attitude for a teacher to take.

Are you seriously saying your UMC child will suffer terribly by not attending school for one or two more semesters? You know that many American kids do not attend camp or school every single summer right? They stay home and somehow survive without all the wonderful socialization and structure of school. UMC kids have tennis lessons and swimming lessons and baseball and mathnasium and kumon and music lessons and martial arts and private tutors and nannies at their fingertips, but they will be scarred forever? Come on now. You know what scars forever? COVID in your lungs.

There’s a big difference between a summer and a year. And at this point, they’ve already been out of school for 6 months by the time school finally starts after Labor Day. And now you want them out for a whole year on top of that?

[Anonymous]

I’m so confused by posters saying that their kids will be devastated emotionally if not in school. Can’t your kids hang out with others now while socially distancing, talk via zoom, do outdoor sports, etc? Mine bike around the neighborhood, take walks, etc. with their friends all the time. I’m not saying it’s ideal, but most kids are very resilient. I don’t see this level of concern with kids who before the pandemic could have had much more social interaction, but chose to do much of their socialization via social media. Kids adapt...there are children of all ages all over the world now and historically who don’t or didn’t spend several hours a day with friends.

In the meantime, we are thinking creatively about how to get our kids some safe social interactions (outside, masks), so that DL school for a year isn’t the end of the world. We are also focusing on the positive benefits...our family unit is stronger than ever, we are getting a ton of exercise, we are working with our kids to experience things we didn’t prioritize before. I believe our kids will be more resilient because of this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As far as "creating a social pod" ... here is the thing about "affluent women". We don't want to be bothered. We will pay for help but we don't want to coordinate with anybody, compromise on anything, or have anybody else making decision for us or our child.

Plus we love our children in dribs and drabs but don't want them underfoot. Even when we SAH, we have nanny's, swim team, tennis lessons, golf lessons, the club to keep them out of our hair.

We very much have the "we pay our taxes" attitude and want the government to do "the rest"... and supplement with tutors.

I could pay an out of work teacher but I would have to pay for 3, that is more expensive than a Big 3. Oh wait, my kids are at a Big 3, I pay them a ton, they can figure this out.

If you can't pluralize the word nanny I have a hard time believing you are an affluent woman.

^^^ See why we can't create a pod.

Could you imagine if I volunteered to do the English class for her kid. I'd hit her over the head with a Cab... very dry, but a California Cab, nothing too good.

You're a moron.

[Anonymous]

I think for mental health issues. For both parents and kids. Kids need to be with kids. Parents need to be able to work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In the middle of a growing pandemic, why do your kids "need to be in school" this fall? One of my former classmates just posted this and several people on this forum have done so as well. She is a wealthy attorney, member of a country club etc. She has the means to hire a caregiver to supplement distance learning and plenty of friends that she could set up a social pod with for her kids to socialize. Why do her kids "need to be in school" to the detriment of public health? Plenty of people are saving money now due to not having to commute, not having to pay for activities, not shopping and buying clothes, eating out less etc. Why can't they hire a caregiver to help their kids with distance learning? I understand that this is out of the price range for many, but not sure why so many affluent people in this area are saying their kids "need to be in school."

Why don't you ask her why she said it? Perhaps her children need something you don't see. Or perhaps she's at her breaking point trying to work from home with them there (which, by the way, can still be an issue even if you have a nanny helping out). Obviously you feel differently about the word "need" than others, which is fine. My kids are young and distance learning doesn't work particularly well for them. They can get the educational piece with a tutor, but at their age (twins), they're missing out on the social and emotional development that they should be getting. I haven't said they "need" to be in school, but I think you're thinking inside your own bubble and you ought to let it go rather than obsessing over people's social media posts.

Oh there is a robust debate between her and my other classmate who is a teacher. My teacher classmate is saying "I am afraid to go to school. It is not safe." And she is saying "My kids NEED to be in school" while also posting pictures of them playing tennis at their country club.

Shrug. I have friends posting STAY AT HOME while they're hanging out with friends. Some people think rules only apply to other people.

It sounds like she feels like her kids need to be at school. Her saying the words out loud (or typing them) doesn't have an effect on anything, so just let it go. If you haven't learned by now that you should not obsess over other people's idiotic opinions unless they directly impact you, this seems like a good time. You just disagree with her, so let it go. You're not better than her either, in case you wanted to feel superior. You can think she's ridiculous all you want, but that doesn't make you better.