Now that you have kids, would you have picked a different career

[Anonymous]

My career evolved with my life. I work in marketing for a global tech firm. I make decent money and the job isn't that exciting, but I like it, it's interesting enough and you can't beat the flex (I WFH 3 days a week). I love being a working mom, but definitely prioritized time and flex over moving up in the career world.

I will be mid 50s when both kids are in college - I might be able to ramp up somewhat then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. I am a lawyer (partner) at a small firm. I have a surprising amount of flexibility.

What kind of firm?

Full service. I personally specialize in employment (company side).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My career sort of evolved to fit with my choices. I'm one of the lucky attorneys. I spent five years in biglaw in New York working, working, working. I moved to DC and worked at DOJ for four years (and in that time got married and had two children). I left DOJ and went in-house and worked at a company that had a very liberal leave and work from home vibe. And on top of it, the company was across the street from my kids' daycare and 15 minutes from my house. I would literally go home and crock pot dinner and clean during my lunch break. It was great until it went out of business, sadly. Now, I work at a trade association. It is a strict 8-4 schedule, which is fine. I drop off my kids in the morning at SACC and get them a little before 5. Sometimes we go to karate or kumon, but generally we are home by 6. I've always made a decent living, but I've had to hustle and job hop, which some people don't enjoy.

+1 I also consider myself a lucky attorney. I tend NOT to tell people my hours/pay. I've worked in a small firm and gov't. Flexible, work from home, plenty of leave. Before, I thought I wanted a higher-powered career, but of course, there's sacrifice with that in terms of extended hours (that may not be made up for in pay!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My career evolved with my life. I work in marketing for a global tech firm. I make decent money and the job isn't that exciting, but I like it, it's interesting enough and you can't beat the flex (I WFH 3 days a week). I love being a working mom, but definitely prioritized time and flex over moving up in the career world.

I will be mid 50s when both kids are in college - I might be able to ramp up somewhat then.

Different path but this is me. I started in academia and left because post docs and adjunct positions pay like crap and were not going to lead to a tenure track position. A friend suggested I apply for a job at his company, I did and was hired. Moved to DC at 30 and have changed jobs or companies as contracts demanded. I have been in the same position for 12 years, with 4 different companies. I am well paid, have flexible hours, and I like the people I work with. The job is picking up again, we are reorganizing which means a new position for me, so that is a good thing. I am able to take off to take care of DS or attend meetings/concerts/Thanksgiving lunch.

Would I change anything? No. My early choices paved the way for where I am now. I am fine with my path. I am in a good spot right now and I think that there is some stability. My Government customer likes my work so it has been easy to move from one company tot he next when there have been contract changes after recompetes.

It is not all great, the work is not all that challenging and intellectually stimulating. But the rest works really well for me and my family.

DH has a similar position in a different field.

It probably helps that neither of us are interested in moving into management. I am not looking to ramp things up when DS goes to college in 10 years, I am looking to retire as soon as possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have great flexibility and love my work but only get 60k. Good thing DH earns more. My DD is choosing not to pursue an MD for work life balance concerns, as well as the cost and length of med school.

Doesn't it depend hugely on specialty? My brother is a dermatologist that does mostly cosmetic work, all at his office, no hospital work. He has a great lifestyle.

I have an MD. I actually find that hospital work is more flexible than office work. For example, this Saturday, my daughter has a piano recital at 11am, so I am available in an emergency, but otherwise, I won’t go in until noon to see my inpatients. Plus no one expects to see “their” doctor in the hospital, so if I needed to find someone to cover for me, I could.

However, clinic is different. My clinic is booked three months out with most people booking appointments 3-6 months in advance. I didn’t know about the piano recital until 2 months in advance. So, if I had clinic that day, I wouldn’t have been able to go.
I can also leave the hospital if my kids are having an emergency and return later. But if I have clinic, I have to walk out and tell people in the lobby that I can’t see them that day, and they will have to reschedule. I have only done that twice. Once because my nanny had to call 911 because my son was septic, and once because I had strep throat, couldn’t think straight, and started making a ton of mistakes. I was afraid I would hurt someone.

I am surprised at people saying dentist. That doesn’t seem like a career that would support being a primary caregiver to children. Unless people are imaginj g that they would have a SAH spouse?

Dentist here!
I work three days a week, am the primary breadwinner (husband is a project manager, but works for the govt) AND the primary caretaker of the kids. I feel like we have it pretty dang good- I’m home with the kids two days a week, but he gets great health insurance AND dependent care sick leave! Aka, he stayed home with them yesterday when one had a fever, but today was one of my days off so I was home with both.

If I had to do it over, I would pick Dentistry again. I do feel like it’s provided me the optimal work- life balance. I rarely call in sick, but if I have to, it’s not life or death for the patient and I can even work on an off day to make it up. I work in a partner practice so emergencies can be taken care of by my partner.

That being said, becoming a dentist is extremely expensive. I was super fortunate to not have any loans from undergrad or dental school. This allows me a very flexible part time schedule. If my kids had to take out a 500k loan today graduate....I’m not sure. I’m eternally grateful for the help from my parents to pay for it thereby affording me this lifestyle.

Also- money is definitely not my number one motivation in my practice, I practice conservatively. I make in the low six figures working those three days a week and I am completely content with that. (I do not live in DC, but in a much lower cost of living area).

I am one who said I would do dentistry. I went into a health field that isn't very practical for my lifestyle, and it was a career that like dentistry cost me financially due to loans yet didn't pay well.

I know of at least two dentist moms in my area who work 2-3 (longer) days a week, which I think would be ideal. It's an interesting career with lots of social interaction, and from what I've seen provides flexibility. You can also be a dentist anywhere.

Modern dentist offices typically have a couple of extended days plus Saturday hours. But they also tend to be closed one weekday (a lot are closed on Monday) or have a few half-days.

Dentist PP here. My office is open 8-5, Monday- Thursday. I have Tuesdays off.

[Anonymous]

Nope. I'm a clinical psychologist, and one of the main benefits is the myriad career paths it affords and the flexibility shift gears as needed. I'm not actively practicing now but maintain my license, and the work I do (grants administration) is pretty flexible. I didn't take these things into consideration when I was deciding what to do, so I feel incredibly lucky that it's worked out so well, and I make sure to emphasize these benefits when advising people on this career path.

[Anonymous]

This has been one of the most interesting threads I've ever read on this site, OP. Thanks for the good prompt!

[Anonymous]

Yes. Never thought about kids as they were never my goal. Trained to be a professor which is pretty much all in or out. Should have gone into nursing which offers lots of schedule options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My career evolved with my life. I work in marketing for a global tech firm. I make decent money and the job isn't that exciting, but I like it, it's interesting enough and you can't beat the flex (I WFH 3 days a week). I love being a working mom, but definitely prioritized time and flex over moving up in the career world.

I will be mid 50s when both kids are in college - I might be able to ramp up somewhat then.

Different path but this is me. I started in academia and left because post docs and adjunct positions pay like crap and were not going to lead to a tenure track position. A friend suggested I apply for a job at his company, I did and was hired. Moved to DC at 30 and have changed jobs or companies as contracts demanded. I have been in the same position for 12 years, with 4 different companies. I am well paid, have flexible hours, and I like the people I work with. The job is picking up again, we are reorganizing which means a new position for me, so that is a good thing. I am able to take off to take care of DS or attend meetings/concerts/Thanksgiving lunch.

Would I change anything? No. My early choices paved the way for where I am now. I am fine with my path. I am in a good spot right now and I think that there is some stability. My Government customer likes my work so it has been easy to move from one company tot he next when there have been contract changes after recompetes.

It is not all great, the work is not all that challenging and intellectually stimulating. But the rest works really well for me and my family.

DH has a similar position in a different field.

It probably helps that neither of us are interested in moving into management. I am not looking to ramp things up when DS goes to college in 10 years, I am looking to retire as soon as possible.

What was your degree in?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would've chosen a much higher paying one!


-a teacher

I have a lot of respect for teachers but you had to know it didnt pay well when you studied to do it, right?

DP here, I'm not a teacher but I can say that at 18 years old I was pretty ignorant of how expensive life is and what I would need to get by. I didn't have any idea how much money my dad made to support our lifestyle, and what different lifestyles would be offered by different jobs. I mean, I kind of knew intellectually that teachers are paid less than bankers but honestly it didn't feel like the differences were that big. I was also an idealist who thought that being motivated by passion and helping people was more important than salary. I was raised in a total bubble suburb though and was kind of sheltered/dumb.

This was true for me as well. I grew up LMC with parents who didn't make much money. $42,000 seemed like a huge amount to me at the time

Also no financial education here. My undergraduate degree was in languages because to my parents any college degree was going to get me a job--they had only been to high school. They had no idea how to advise me about majors and my dad was under the old government pension system so he had no idea about self-funded retirement either. I also grew up under that "motivated by passion" umbrella since I knew my parents hated their jobs and I didn't want to be like them. Now I know though that any job that is motivated by passion also means they get to pay you less.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ladies try sales. If you’re good at it you can make decent money (200k for me this year), day trips vs overnights, work from home since most sales
People travel and work more on their own time. Home by 4:30. Work sometimes after bedtime. It can be stressful but if you’re good at it I think it’s the mom career no one talks about.

Loving it.

What type of sales?/What kind of product?

My DH is a B2B sales manager (he is in charge of sales for a product line for a large company). He has reps in many different locations. He does travel for overnight events (a couple huge clients/key accounts plus to lead the team at a few major tradeshows), but when he is in town he generally has good flexibility.

I’m in B2B sales, tech platform.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would've chosen a much higher paying one!


-a teacher

I have a lot of respect for teachers but you had to know it didnt pay well when you studied to do it, right?

DP here, I'm not a teacher but I can say that at 18 years old I was pretty ignorant of how expensive life is and what I would need to get by. I didn't have any idea how much money my dad made to support our lifestyle, and what different lifestyles would be offered by different jobs. I mean, I kind of knew intellectually that teachers are paid less than bankers but honestly it didn't feel like the differences were that big. I was also an idealist who thought that being motivated by passion and helping people was more important than salary. I was raised in a total bubble suburb though and was kind of sheltered/dumb.

This was true for me as well. I grew up LMC with parents who didn't make much money. $42,000 seemed like a huge amount to me at the time

Also no financial education here. My undergraduate degree was in languages because to my parents any college degree was going to get me a job--they had only been to high school. They had no idea how to advise me about majors and my dad was under the old government pension system so he had no idea about self-funded retirement either. I also grew up under that "motivated by passion" umbrella since I knew my parents hated their jobs and I didn't want to be like them. Now I know though that any job that is motivated by passion also means they get to pay you less.

Additional evidence that the teaching industry attracts idiots. Seriously?! You couldn’t even do the basic math that showed 2 + teacher = middle class?! Didn’t you notice that all the teachers in your high school were either married well or driving Mazdas? IT is and always has been COMMON KNOWLEDGE that teachers struggle financially, it’s in every movie, book, and tv show. To ignore this is willful ignorance.

[Anonymous]

Another tax attorney here. I wouldn't change anything. I'm a partner in big law and work majority from home, super flexible hours. Like, the partner i get my work from today asked what next week's plan, and we both agreed that we'd be around until noon on wednesday but wouldn't be looking for work. So i'll probably spend most of the week hanging out with DS who's home from school all week.

When i graduated from law school and summered at my firm, i saw that certain areas had tons of female associates, and almost no female partners. And the corporate department had 2 female partners, neither of whom had kids. Compared with tax, where the vast majority of partners under the age of 60 were all women, and all had kids.

I didn't even know if i wanted kids back then, but i sure as hell knew that i didn't want to be a job where the hours were so long that you COULDN"T have kids - even if i never had kids. Because who wants to be 50 years old and still working 80 hours a week? Kids or no kids. So i picked tax. Great decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes! I would have never gone into anything education related. The pay is horrible and the hours are horrible. I would have gone into corporate America and at least would have been paid for the long hours.

I’m the opposite. I would’ve gone into teaching because summers are off and there’s a pension!

Teachers work 80 hour weeks the first few years and summers are not off completely because you need CEUs to maintain your license in addition to a Master's. Not as good of a deal are you might think.

I am not trying to be a jerk here, but 80 hour weeks every week for years is pretty brutal. Six-12 hour days is still only 72 hours.
I am not saying that teachers aren’t working hard, but I don’t believe you really did the math in this. When people say they are working 80 hours a week, they are really not doing much of anything else.
That is something like five 14 hour days (7am-9pm) plus another 10 hours over the weekend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No regrets. I think more important than the field, is instilling in your child a sense of logic. When you reach that point of being in the rat race and knowing it can't continue, having the intelligence and bravery to pivot. For me, I worked in management consulting, 80+ hour weeks, and could write my ticket anywhere. Had kids, moved out of DC, and [b]now I work as an exec in an industry, 830-4 every day, it's great.

[/b]

Can you give any info on how you made this pivot? What you looked for? I'm in 80+ hour a week management consulting and it is sucking the life out of me.

Yes I took an industry job. The easiest way to do it is to take a job with one of your own clients. I was actually recruited. I now work as a healthcare administrator. Consulting is amazing experience but I don't know how people do it long term!