Now that you have kids, would you have picked a different career

[Anonymous]

Ladies try sales. If you’re good at it you can make decent money (200k for me this year), day trips vs overnights, work from home since most sales
People travel and work more on their own time. Home by 4:30. Work sometimes after bedtime. It can be stressful but if you’re good at it I think it’s the mom career no one talks about.

Loving it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes! I would have never gone into anything education related. The pay is horrible and the hours are horrible. I would have gone into corporate America and at least would have been paid for the long hours.

I feel the opposite! Left big business for education. Now I get 13 weeks off a year, home by 430, never worry about snow days or breaks, see my kid a ton more and my pay is acceptable for the trade offs and I get a soild retirement. Pre-kid, I didn’t care and wanted to continue to rise. Post-kid, I don’t care as much anymore and I am thrilled to have a better work/life balance.

What do you teach?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have great flexibility and love my work but only get 60k. Good thing DH earns more. My DD is choosing not to pursue an MD for work life balance concerns, as well as the cost and length of med school.

Doesn't it depend hugely on specialty? My brother is a dermatologist that does mostly cosmetic work, all at his office, no hospital work. He has a great lifestyle.

I have an MD. I actually find that hospital work is more flexible than office work. For example, this Saturday, my daughter has a piano recital at 11am, so I am available in an emergency, but otherwise, I won’t go in until noon to see my inpatients. Plus no one expects to see “their” doctor in the hospital, so if I needed to find someone to cover for me, I could.

However, clinic is different. My clinic is booked three months out with most people booking appointments 3-6 months in advance. I didn’t know about the piano recital until 2 months in advance. So, if I had clinic that day, I wouldn’t have been able to go.
I can also leave the hospital if my kids are having an emergency and return later. But if I have clinic, I have to walk out and tell people in the lobby that I can’t see them that day, and they will have to reschedule. I have only done that twice. Once because my nanny had to call 911 because my son was septic, and once because I had strep throat, couldn’t think straight, and started making a ton of mistakes. I was afraid I would hurt someone.

I am surprised at people saying dentist. That doesn’t seem like a career that would support being a primary caregiver to children. Unless people are imaginj g that they would have a SAH spouse?

Dentist here!
I work three days a week, am the primary breadwinner (husband is a project manager, but works for the govt) AND the primary caretaker of the kids. I feel like we have it pretty dang good- I’m home with the kids two days a week, but he gets great health insurance AND dependent care sick leave! Aka, he stayed home with them yesterday when one had a fever, but today was one of my days off so I was home with both.

If I had to do it over, I would pick Dentistry again. I do feel like it’s provided me the optimal work- life balance. I rarely call in sick, but if I have to, it’s not life or death for the patient and I can even work on an off day to make it up. I work in a partner practice so emergencies can be taken care of by my partner.

That being said, becoming a dentist is extremely expensive. I was super fortunate to not have any loans from undergrad or dental school. This allows me a very flexible part time schedule. If my kids had to take out a 500k loan today graduate....I’m not sure. I’m eternally grateful for the help from my parents to pay for it thereby affording me this lifestyle.

Also- money is definitely not my number one motivation in my practice, I practice conservatively. I make in the low six figures working those three days a week and I am completely content with that. (I do not live in DC, but in a much lower cost of living area).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No.

Big law attorney with an infant. To a certain extent, I think you have to set the boundaries and establish how much flexibility you need for yourself. Except for the rare emergency, I leave at 5 to do daycare pickup. I get some stares from some of the other midlevels (and juniors - lol okay), but I also sign back on after baby is asleep and have never missed a deadline. I do say no to work sometimes if I really need to. My hours are lower than most of the associates without children (though not by much) and sometimes I have to say no to late night meetings, which is difficult and the guilt is real. But my performance reviews have always been good and every partner in my group has been very supportive. If a junior wants to grill me about leaving at 5, that's his problem.

Will I make partner like this? Probably not, but that's not a priority.

Before baby, I would have been so anxious and horrified about leaving so early. Priorities change.

Ugh. This post is so biglaw. Multiple snide references to "the juniors" who, if you are a mid-level associate are what, three years younger than you?

I'm many years out of school and forms and so whatever, this is not my fight. But this is like Exhibit A of why these big firms are such toxic places to work.

[Anonymous]

I am very happy with my choices. I am a computer system administrator and IT security professional. I am a federal contractor. When I was young and single, I as able to work the 50-60 hour weeks to "pay my dues". I developed a reputation and a knowledge of my agency. When I married and had kids later, I was a more senior professional and I now get on contracts where I have more flexibility. I work 40-45 hours a week, but I have a lot of flexibility. I can work just about any 80 hours in a two week stretch. Half of my work can be done remotely, so I can stay at home and work from home when needed. I worked 5 hours today so that I could leave work 3 hours early and take the kids to the book fare at school and then another event at school. I can take my kids to doctors appointments and then work late. My wife is a civil servant, also in IT, and she also has flexibility. We pretty much stagger both of our work over each 2 week period so that we can accommodate most everything on the kids' schedule and then we fill in our work week around that. I "only" make $150K (only in quotes since it is a high income). I have peers that I've known for 20 years who make over $250K in the private sector, but they have a lot less flexibility than I do. I make more than enough for our lifestyle and love the flexibility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No.

Big law attorney with an infant. To a certain extent, I think you have to set the boundaries and establish how much flexibility you need for yourself. Except for the rare emergency, I leave at 5 to do daycare pickup. I get some stares from some of the other midlevels (and juniors - lol okay), but I also sign back on after baby is asleep and have never missed a deadline. I do say no to work sometimes if I really need to. My hours are lower than most of the associates without children (though not by much) and sometimes I have to say no to late night meetings, which is difficult and the guilt is real. But my performance reviews have always been good and every partner in my group has been very supportive. If a junior wants to grill me about leaving at 5, that's his problem.

Will I make partner like this? Probably not, but that's not a priority.

Before baby, I would have been so anxious and horrified about leaving so early. Priorities change.

Ugh. This post is so biglaw. Multiple snide references to "the juniors" who, if you are a mid-level associate are what, three years younger than you?

I'm many years out of school and forms and so whatever, this is not my fight. But this is like Exhibit A of why these big firms are such toxic places to work.

I think PP is overreacting. She’s happy with her job, and I didn’t find her post to be indicative of a toxic work place environment in the slightest.

However, her position is VERY temporary (mid-level associate, not going to make partner) so it’s hard to see this as an example of someone who doesn’t - and will not in the future - regret her career choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have great flexibility and love my work but only get 60k. Good thing DH earns more. My DD is choosing not to pursue an MD for work life balance concerns, as well as the cost and length of med school.

Doesn't it depend hugely on specialty? My brother is a dermatologist that does mostly cosmetic work, all at his office, no hospital work. He has a great lifestyle.

I have an MD. I actually find that hospital work is more flexible than office work. For example, this Saturday, my daughter has a piano recital at 11am, so I am available in an emergency, but otherwise, I won’t go in until noon to see my inpatients. Plus no one expects to see “their” doctor in the hospital, so if I needed to find someone to cover for me, I could.

However, clinic is different. My clinic is booked three months out with most people booking appointments 3-6 months in advance. I didn’t know about the piano recital until 2 months in advance. So, if I had clinic that day, I wouldn’t have been able to go.
I can also leave the hospital if my kids are having an emergency and return later. But if I have clinic, I have to walk out and tell people in the lobby that I can’t see them that day, and they will have to reschedule. I have only done that twice. Once because my nanny had to call 911 because my son was septic, and once because I had strep throat, couldn’t think straight, and started making a ton of mistakes. I was afraid I would hurt someone.

I am surprised at people saying dentist. That doesn’t seem like a career that would support being a primary caregiver to children. Unless people are imaginj g that they would have a SAH spouse?

Dentist here!
I work three days a week, am the primary breadwinner (husband is a project manager, but works for the govt) AND the primary caretaker of the kids. I feel like we have it pretty dang good- I’m home with the kids two days a week, but he gets great health insurance AND dependent care sick leave! Aka, he stayed home with them yesterday when one had a fever, but today was one of my days off so I was home with both.

If I had to do it over, I would pick Dentistry again. I do feel like it’s provided me the optimal work- life balance. I rarely call in sick, but if I have to, it’s not life or death for the patient and I can even work on an off day to make it up. I work in a partner practice so emergencies can be taken care of by my partner.

That being said, becoming a dentist is extremely expensive. I was super fortunate to not have any loans from undergrad or dental school. This allows me a very flexible part time schedule. If my kids had to take out a 500k loan today graduate....I’m not sure. I’m eternally grateful for the help from my parents to pay for it thereby affording me this lifestyle.

Also- money is definitely not my number one motivation in my practice, I practice conservatively. I make in the low six figures working those three days a week and I am completely content with that. (I do not live in DC, but in a much lower cost of living area).

I am one who said I would do dentistry. I went into a health field that isn't very practical for my lifestyle, and it was a career that like dentistry cost me financially due to loans yet didn't pay well.

I know of at least two dentist moms in my area who work 2-3 (longer) days a week, which I think would be ideal. It's an interesting career with lots of social interaction, and from what I've seen provides flexibility. You can also be a dentist anywhere.

[Anonymous]

My mom was and is very conservative, always told me that I should pick a career that would work well with having children and that I should pick a husband who could provide for me. I am NOT as conservative as my mother, but insistence that it is important to be available to the needs of children while they are young, stuck.

I had an interesting career before kids, loved grad school, and generally am smart and capable. Lucked out in the marriage department, husband shared my opinion that it was important that one of us be the main caregiver for the kids.

Am now back to full time work and, generally, think its a wee-bit overrated. Would much rather be available to my kids, aging parents, doing something really creative, or exercising. ...and I work for one of those really, earnest and important non-profits saving the world...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ladies try sales. If you’re good at it you can make decent money (200k for me this year), day trips vs overnights, work from home since most sales
People travel and work more on their own time. Home by 4:30. Work sometimes after bedtime. It can be stressful but if you’re good at it I think it’s the mom career no one talks about.

Loving it.

What type of sales?/What kind of product?

My DH is a B2B sales manager (he is in charge of sales for a product line for a large company). He has reps in many different locations. He does travel for overnight events (a couple huge clients/key accounts plus to lead the team at a few major tradeshows), but when he is in town he generally has good flexibility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ladies try sales. If you’re good at it you can make decent money (200k for me this year), day trips vs overnights, work from home since most sales
People travel and work more on their own time. Home by 4:30. Work sometimes after bedtime. It can be stressful but if you’re good at it I think it’s the mom career no one talks about.

Loving it.

PP here whose DH is in sales. You are probably naturally good at sales. The majority of people who try to switch over to sales do not do well and leave the field.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have great flexibility and love my work but only get 60k. Good thing DH earns more. My DD is choosing not to pursue an MD for work life balance concerns, as well as the cost and length of med school.

Doesn't it depend hugely on specialty? My brother is a dermatologist that does mostly cosmetic work, all at his office, no hospital work. He has a great lifestyle.

I have an MD. I actually find that hospital work is more flexible than office work. For example, this Saturday, my daughter has a piano recital at 11am, so I am available in an emergency, but otherwise, I won’t go in until noon to see my inpatients. Plus no one expects to see “their” doctor in the hospital, so if I needed to find someone to cover for me, I could.

However, clinic is different. My clinic is booked three months out with most people booking appointments 3-6 months in advance. I didn’t know about the piano recital until 2 months in advance. So, if I had clinic that day, I wouldn’t have been able to go.
I can also leave the hospital if my kids are having an emergency and return later. But if I have clinic, I have to walk out and tell people in the lobby that I can’t see them that day, and they will have to reschedule. I have only done that twice. Once because my nanny had to call 911 because my son was septic, and once because I had strep throat, couldn’t think straight, and started making a ton of mistakes. I was afraid I would hurt someone.

I am surprised at people saying dentist. That doesn’t seem like a career that would support being a primary caregiver to children. Unless people are imaginj g that they would have a SAH spouse?

Dentist here!
I work three days a week, am the primary breadwinner (husband is a project manager, but works for the govt) AND the primary caretaker of the kids. I feel like we have it pretty dang good- I’m home with the kids two days a week, but he gets great health insurance AND dependent care sick leave! Aka, he stayed home with them yesterday when one had a fever, but today was one of my days off so I was home with both.

If I had to do it over, I would pick Dentistry again. I do feel like it’s provided me the optimal work- life balance. I rarely call in sick, but if I have to, it’s not life or death for the patient and I can even work on an off day to make it up. I work in a partner practice so emergencies can be taken care of by my partner.

That being said, becoming a dentist is extremely expensive. I was super fortunate to not have any loans from undergrad or dental school. This allows me a very flexible part time schedule. If my kids had to take out a 500k loan today graduate....I’m not sure. I’m eternally grateful for the help from my parents to pay for it thereby affording me this lifestyle.

Also- money is definitely not my number one motivation in my practice, I practice conservatively. I make in the low six figures working those three days a week and I am completely content with that. (I do not live in DC, but in a much lower cost of living area).

I am one who said I would do dentistry. I went into a health field that isn't very practical for my lifestyle, and it was a career that like dentistry cost me financially due to loans yet didn't pay well.

I know of at least two dentist moms in my area who work 2-3 (longer) days a week, which I think would be ideal. It's an interesting career with lots of social interaction, and from what I've seen provides flexibility. You can also be a dentist anywhere.

Modern dentist offices typically have a couple of extended days plus Saturday hours. But they also tend to be closed one weekday (a lot are closed on Monday) or have a few half-days.

[Anonymous]

I left a job related to lobbying to go to a trade association. I don't regret it. I leave the office between 4 and 5 every day. Home by 5 nightly to eat dinner with the kids.

[Anonymous]

No. I lucked out. I'm an academic but didn't set out with that goal (which is strange because it's such a competitive field) and the flexibility is top notch. I can mostly set my course schedule, do a lot of work from home, and be with my children after school at least 3, sometimes 5, days per week. I do have to check in at odd hours and often am working on nights and weekends, but usually that is something I've chosen to do at that time. My pay is pretty low but the satisfaction and flexibility makes it worth it, plus I am married to a high earner.

My spouse would certainly have chosen a different career. Attorney with long hours, job they do not love.

[Anonymous]

PP here. Once kids start school and taking the bus, I will leave in time to pick up from the bus (none of the buses get to our neighborhood until about 4:30)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No.

Big law attorney with an infant. To a certain extent, I think you have to set the boundaries and establish how much flexibility you need for yourself. Except for the rare emergency, I leave at 5 to do daycare pickup. I get some stares from some of the other midlevels (and juniors - lol okay), but I also sign back on after baby is asleep and have never missed a deadline. I do say no to work sometimes if I really need to. My hours are lower than most of the associates without children (though not by much) and sometimes I have to say no to late night meetings, which is difficult and the guilt is real. But my performance reviews have always been good and every partner in my group has been very supportive. If a junior wants to grill me about leaving at 5, that's his problem.

Will I make partner like this? Probably not, but that's not a priority.

Before baby, I would have been so anxious and horrified about leaving so early. Priorities change.

Ugh. This post is so biglaw. Multiple snide references to "the juniors" who, if you are a mid-level associate are what, three years younger than you?

I'm many years out of school and forms and so whatever, this is not my fight. But this is like Exhibit A of why these big firms are such toxic places to work.

I think PP is overreacting. She’s happy with her job, and I didn’t find her post to be indicative of a toxic work place environment in the slightest.

However, her position is VERY temporary (mid-level associate, not going to make partner) so it’s hard to see this as an example of someone who doesn’t - and will not in the future - regret her career choice.

Who else in the hundreds of posters on this thread felt the need to subtly insult colleagues with slightly less seniority -- twice in the same post?