Bring outside food to restaurant for child

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I believe that most sensory issues come because parents are not good cooks when kids are young. Rare is a true feeding issue in kids. The reason this post is so loaded is that we all believe you contributed to your child sensory issue and don't believe you that it is a medical issue.

Totally agree. You rarely (meaning almost never) heard about “sensory disorders” when my kids were little. They are young adults now. Yes, there are rare medical conditions that make feeding difficult. But 99.9% of the time it’s poor parenting.

Eh I have plenty of family in their 60s who talk about how picky their kids were. My nephew, now in his late 30s, wouldn't eat much other than pbj growing up and I can assure you it wasn't from poor cooking or lack of stern parenting. My MIL talks about how picky her kids were until adulthood, she struggled with it. My FIL near 70 barely eats more than white bread, eggs, meat and potatoes and a completely plain salad and has visible angst at going to a restaurant. Just because it wasn't talked about or given a name back then doesn't mean it didn't exist.

Is this nephew the son of these 60 year olds who were and are picky eaters? Nobody mentioned stern parenting as the cause of picky eating, clearly it is the usually the opposite of stern parenting that causes eating issues. You know what most kids not in the US in the last 50 years ate when they didn't like what was cooked? Nothing. And nobody worried about it. If I didn't like the lunch grandma cooked, she most certainly did not make me a sandwich of any kind! Just the fact that your nephew had the pbj sandwiches speaks of why he became a picky eater.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I believe that most sensory issues come because parents are not good cooks when kids are young. Rare is a true feeding issue in kids. The reason this post is so loaded is that we all believe you contributed to your child sensory issue and don't believe you that it is a medical issue.

Totally agree. You rarely (meaning almost never) heard about “sensory disorders” when my kids were little. They are young adults now. Yes, there are rare medical conditions that make feeding difficult. But 99.9% of the time it’s poor parenting.

Eh I have plenty of family in their 60s who talk about how picky their kids were. My nephew, now in his late 30s, wouldn't eat much other than pbj growing up and I can assure you it wasn't from poor cooking or lack of stern parenting. My MIL talks about how picky her kids were until adulthood, she struggled with it. My FIL near 70 barely eats more than white bread, eggs, meat and potatoes and a completely plain salad and has visible angst at going to a restaurant. Just because it wasn't talked about or given a name back then doesn't mean it didn't exist.

Is this nephew the son of these 60 year olds who were and are picky eaters? Nobody mentioned stern parenting as the cause of picky eating, clearly it is the usually the opposite of stern parenting that causes eating issues. You know what most kids not in the US in the last 50 years ate when they didn't like what was cooked? Nothing. And nobody worried about it. If I didn't like the lunch grandma cooked, she most certainly did not make me a sandwich of any kind! Just the fact that your nephew had the pbj sandwiches speaks of why he became a picky eater.

No, my point was that even folks who grew up with stern parenting typical of decades ago still ended up very picky eaters. In the case of my nephew he outgrew it. And my brother, in his 60s (nephew's dad) is a hunter who makes all sorts of things plus we are an Italian family who are fantstic cooks, but very cut and dry with parenting, and their other two kids aren't picky at all. My near 70 year old father in law also grew up with stern parenting, eat what's on your plate and is picky as can be. Will bring his own breakfast food when he visits to be safe for at least one meal a day. Just in case I don't have exactly what he likes.

People pat themselves on the back for raising eaters who aren't picky due to their parenting skills. A lot is probably not that and just different kids with different sensitivity to taste.

Middle class folks didn't go to restaurants back then as much either other than very special occasions so it was less common to be in this situation. People were used to what they ate at home and didn't have to leave their comfort zones as often. I can't imagine what my FIL would have been like as a kid in a restaurant back then!

[Anonymous]

I sometimes bring some fruit, to have on the side or while we're waiting for our food. Like a clementine or two, or a pre-sliced apple.

My kids are 3 and 5. They are getting better about quick restaurant meals so it's become less necessary, but it's sometimes really crucial if a meal doesn't turn out well and they don't eat much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would a restaurant allow outside food if they are
in the business of serving food for a profit?

This coming from someone with severe food sensitivities.
I don't go to restaurants if I can't eat anything there.
I go to restaurants at places I can order something from
the menu.

Because the rest of the people are buying food and they aren't making tons of money from a 5 year old's meal anyway? To build loyalty? Completely different situation, but I just attended a birthday dinner for my aunt. It was a chain steakhouse, can't think of the name of it, but along the lines of Longhorns. One of my uncles brought in a cake he bought from somewhere else. He asked if it was ok for us to eat it after the meal. The waitress said yes, took the cake into the back, cut it and put it on plates for everyone. It was great service (as well as her prior service through the whole meal) and she got a compliment to the manager and a nice tip from us.

[Anonymous]

Eh mine is only 3, but I'll probably keep taking some extra food along when we eat out for some time yet, and she has no sensory issues that I'm aware of.

I do scan menus online before to make sure there's at least something that should interest her (and me, frankly), but I don't obsess about it since half the time she still won't eat it. If restaurant management ever has an issue, I'd just make a note not to return to that restaurant for a while. It hasn't happened yet, but I guess I'll stay on the lookout for it.

Sorry that happened to you, OP. Don't stress about feeding your kid in the car just to appease restaurant management.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I believe that most sensory issues come because parents are not good cooks when kids are young. Rare is a true feeding issue in kids. The reason this post is so loaded is that we all believe you contributed to your child sensory issue and don't believe you that it is a medical issue.

Totally agree. You rarely (meaning almost never) heard about “sensory disorders” when my kids were little. They are young adults now. Yes, there are rare medical conditions that make feeding difficult. But 99.9% of the time it’s poor parenting.

Eh I have plenty of family in their 60s who talk about how picky their kids were. My nephew, now in his late 30s, wouldn't eat much other than pbj growing up and I can assure you it wasn't from poor cooking or lack of stern parenting. My MIL talks about how picky her kids were until adulthood, she struggled with it. My FIL near 70 barely eats more than white bread, eggs, meat and potatoes and a completely plain salad and has visible angst at going to a restaurant. Just because it wasn't talked about or given a name back then doesn't mean it didn't exist.

Is this nephew the son of these 60 year olds who were and are picky eaters? Nobody mentioned stern parenting as the cause of picky eating, clearly it is the usually the opposite of stern parenting that causes eating issues. You know what most kids not in the US in the last 50 years ate when they didn't like what was cooked? Nothing. And nobody worried about it. If I didn't like the lunch grandma cooked, she most certainly did not make me a sandwich of any kind! Just the fact that your nephew had the pbj sandwiches speaks of why he became a picky eater.

I grew up with a parent who was quite stern - born in the 30's, eat what's on your plate and we didn't have a lot of money growing up. I remember being served toaster oven fish sticks and being told it was chicken, and when I complained voraciously, I was told I had to eat extra. I remember her telling me canned oysters on pasta noodles were chicken too! And I remember sitting at my place at the table for hours when I was refusing something. This did NOT make me less picky. In fact, it made me avoid seafood for much of my adult life until somebody convinced me to try fresh fish at a restaurant and I realized it doesn't always taste disgusting.

I also still shudder at the sight of zucchini bread as I remember she would make like 50 of them from the garden harvest, then freeze them in the giant freezer box in the basement, and did NOT believe in freezer burn. So I'd eat the vile stuff for breakfast or starve (and I usually chose not to eat it or forced down 1-2 bites). I will hate zucchini bread for the rest of my life.

I do also remember her catering to kids' desires - adding extra butter to vegetables for kids, making eggs the way we preferred, adding cinnamon and sugar to breakfast foods like oatmeal or cream of wheat, making meals we liked as much as she could (though the zucchini bread was awful, she did make a fine zucchini parmesan casserole and some other meals), and being concerned if we legit starved ourselves repeatedly for lack of eating something. After so many days of refusing the zucchini bread, she DID get concerned and try something else or make me some sort of weird protein smoothie, it's just she would go back to the zucchini bread because it's all we had, I'd starve for awhile till she caved, and so on and so on.

I do believe people's POV about what happened in their youth is a bit hazy. You might not have realized your stern parents did cater to your preferences. You might not realize how much you adapt in your own home cooking. Think of the stereotype of the grandmother fussing over whether the kids are eating and getting meat on their bones.

[Anonymous]

I was a picky eater.
DD was an extremely picky eater.

We never took food to a restaurant.

Your kid is not going to starve to death if he misses one meal.

FWIW, I taught a kid who threw up at will. It was quite effective. One day, he began to throw up and something told me to say "don't you dare!" He never threw up again in my class. You can think that was cruel, but it was just what he needed to hear.
Not saying that it is what your kid is doing, OP, but you might consider that he is doing it on purpose to achieve his goal. It happens.

[Anonymous]

I have a now 7yo. I took fruit and snacks when she was little and then she ate off our plate too. Sometimes now i still take fruit with us because most kids meals don't include a fruit/veg. Only place i have found that xoes is olive garden.

[Anonymous]

omg all the sneaking in fruit for kids people. No one needs fruit at every meal!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Health code violation? No, how could it be. The food is not in the kitchen area or mixing with anyone else’s food. I call bs. I think it’s fine, OP. The restaurant is within its rights not to allow it (and they probably called it a health code violation so as not to look like asses) but plenty of restaurants will allow it and it’s fine.

They want you to buy their food while your're occupying seats in their restaurant. If you can't do that then don't go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you do this for your child and up to what age?

We've done this for our child who is now 5, and it's never been an issue, but we were told at a BBQ place that it's a health code violation? I never knew and didn't think it was an issue for a young kid to have their own food or snacks.

When possible we order off the menu for him. In his specific instance, he has a sensory issue with foods and will gag/retch/vomit/turn red to new foods or even familiar foods served in different ways. So we try to order off the menu if we can and have a backup bag just in case. In this instance, the BBQ place didn't have a kids me u and the one option of mac and cheese for him was very spicy.

Why would you even take him to a barbecue place if you know he has this issue?

[Anonymous]

I have brought a small container of Cheerios or puffs for a toddler literally hundreds of times. But anything more or for older kids is weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a now 7yo. I took fruit and snacks when she was little and then she ate off our plate too. Sometimes now i still take fruit with us because most kids meals don't include a fruit/veg. Only place i have found that xoes is olive garden.

Tons of places do. Even fast food places. You are nuts.

[Anonymous]

How entitled are you that you think it's okay to bring home food to a business THAT SELLS FOOD?!!

Honestly - and the excuses of 2 hour drive for the estranged relatives at the last minute with no planning and whatever tf else - you are setting up your kid for failure with your entitlement and excuses after excuses.

it's rude - and they were polite to say "health code violation" because it wouldn't have been nice to say "NO DUH YOU'RE RUDE!"

Better planning - less whining - less entitlement. Do better people.

[Anonymous]

I’m interested in what was packed as an alternate meal for at minimum 2 1/2 hours on a car ride that met the sensory rules. Please explain because this should be interesting.