Any parents of seniors want to commiserate?

[Anonymous]

Whoa this thread is making me so anxious! DS junior. He's visited and shown interest at 4 colleges and stays in contact if they email him.

Getting the apps done is about an 80 hour task. The breakdown is 20 hours per big essay, and about 5 hours per app.

Does it really take this many hours ^^^? Can't the supplemental essay be a template and customize for each school?

I've saved this thread in phone notes. Looking forward to the happy endings when your kids get through it with their sanity in tact. Good luck and keep posting!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents; it isn’t us (the schools). It’s the application process. It’s all the extracurriculars your kids chose to do. It’s the 5-6 APs they’re taking. Of course that’s a heavy load but why are you saying “can’t you take it easy on them 1st quarter?” TBH, we do! But when your child willingly loads themselves up like that, it compounds. It’s not like one class is giving out 8 hours of homework a day. It’s all of it. Encourage your kids to have balance. Don’t encourage 5 APS and multiple activities and you won’t have this stressful experience.

Our kids are taking 5-6 APs because there's an "academic rigor" arms race going on. High School counselors are asked to rate how rigorous a courseload the students are taking compared with classmates -- are they in the top fifth of the class in terms of hardest courses chosen? So as more kids take 3 AP classes senior year, you need to now take 4 AP classes to be in this top quintile.... or 5... or 6. Keeps escalating.

Then because of the vagaries of the college acceptance process more and more kids are applying rolling admissions, early decision or early action so they return to school after summer break and BAM are hit with coursework, senior year stuff, demonstrating interest in colleges by visiting, phoning, meeting, attending info sessions AND they are already filling out Common App, Coalitio, and Naviance AND writing essays AND securing teacher recommendations AND of course participating in those EC activities that demonstrate commitment and leadership.

It's just a lot and it isn't even mid October.

You aren't required to participate in that 'arms race'. There are plenty of schools for your very smart kid. You are not a victim, you made a choice.

Not if you aren’t full pay. If you are chasing merit aid and scholarships, your kid needs high scores, top rigor, all As, good ECs, and quality essays.
If you are full pay sure there are easy schools to get into.

[Anonymous]

My husband and I have decided that our kids can take mostly regular classes and a few honors classes in the subjects they really like when they get to HS. Both my kids are in the FCPS AAP program both have so much homework in middle school (one in 7th and one in 8th grade). They see so many middle schoolers, no in their center school, in our neighborhood playing outside (skateboarding or playing soccer) and they get frustrated. My oldest swims 3x a week for 1.5 hours and loves it, but that also takes time from his homework. Same with my youngest and travel soccer. I just feel like there must be a balance in life. A kid should also do what he loves, plus a healthy body/mind are so important. So DH and I have decided that we want them to be kids while they are kids. They have their rest of their lives to be adults. We don't care if they go to Mason. My husband was a royal f**k up and he went to NOVa when he was 20, because he was a mess before. Then he transferred to GMU. I went to UVA and have my MA also from UVA. DH and I do well, but he does make a bit more money than I do. I think the pressure in this area is insane, it's a rat race to nowhere.

[Anonymous]

The truth is when your kids get to high school, they’re probably going to want to be in classes with their friends, the “smart kids”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: The truth is when your kids get to high school, they’re probably going to want to be in classes with their friends, the “smart kids”.

I teach academic level and honors. The popular kids are in academic level as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have never seen my DD so stressed out and unhappy. I thought junior year was supposed to be the hardest but she never seemed like this last year. The stress of college apps on top of an unbelievable amount of homework in her senior year classes is too much. Can’t they take it a bit easier on them first quarter? It’s hard for me to watch.

First quarter is really bad for my DD -- in addition to class there are the marching band practices (10 hours per week) plus most Saturdays being taken up by Marching competitions. And this year, it is looking like the marching season will extend a few weeks (the band is really god and may add a national competition). She has not had time to complete her college essays. Most of the schools she is applying to are limited in the requirements, but she is not applying to her first choice ED because she does not have the time to get the second essay done before Nov 1. She is a good student -- 4.2 + GPA with 1400+ SAT's, taking 5 APs. But she can not manufacture time. Between now and thanksgiving, she most Sundays (two are allocated) to get caught up on work, and 1 Saturday, and three days off from school (where there may or may not be band practice).

She is happy for te band's success this year, and thinks this is a once in a lifetime experience where everything comes together with band -- literally the first VA band to win a BOA regional in more than 40 years). But, it is hard work. #proudfather.

Wait a minute, all she needs is on essay for the college of her dreams? For god’s sake, have her miss a freaking band practice! College is much more important!

Would you tell a football player to miss a game or practice? She takes band very seriously.

Well, #1 this is high school and not her job. College is way more important than band. She should be applying to her first choice college. She still has plenty of time left before the Nov. 1 deadline. Maybe she should drop another college application in favor of her first choice. There must be some other reason instead of band practice. That’s lame. With her grades and SAT scores, she would most likely get in. How will she feel in 2 years when she’s realized she didn’t apply to her first choice of college because of....band? That would be a major regret in my opinion. Please help her make the right choice.

I agree with this. Not applying to her first choice school because of one essay seems very short-sighted. Encourage her to miss one band practice, or set aside one weekend evening, and get the essay done.

I guess she is not smart enough the know not to choose 5 AP classes senior year.
I hope you have good health insurance for therapy when she realizes how wasteful it was to take 5 APs. You can never get your high school years back and no one cares that you toook 5 AP classes senior year when you're 30.

Seriously. I feel for kids who lose their high school experience for unnecessary academics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The colleges driving the push for kids to take 5 AP classes at a time, plus intense ECS that show their "passion" plus the rest of the their schedule... it is ridiculous.

in college 5 classes is a full schedule - that is probably 16 credit hours right there. That is a FULL SCHEDULE.

But we expect these kids to be doing a full college level schedule (with a huge amount of homework that no way reflects the homework level of actual college classes in college) PLUS the other 2 classes they need for graduation, PLUS time intensive ECS, PLUS doing all the college apps and writing essays to sell themselves.

It is ridiculous. AP system is a scam and shame on colleges for buying in to the hype and screwing over our kids.

No colleges don't expect this - other parents push this expectation on others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents; it isn’t us (the schools). It’s the application process. It’s all the extracurriculars your kids chose to do. It’s the 5-6 APs they’re taking. Of course that’s a heavy load but why are you saying “can’t you take it easy on them 1st quarter?” TBH, we do! But when your child willingly loads themselves up like that, it compounds. It’s not like one class is giving out 8 hours of homework a day. It’s all of it. Encourage your kids to have balance. Don’t encourage 5 APS and multiple activities and you won’t have this stressful experience.

Our kids are taking 5-6 APs because there's an "academic rigor" arms race going on. High School counselors are asked to rate how rigorous a courseload the students are taking compared with classmates -- are they in the top fifth of the class in terms of hardest courses chosen? So as more kids take 3 AP classes senior year, you need to now take 4 AP classes to be in this top quintile.... or 5... or 6. Keeps escalating.

Then because of the vagaries of the college acceptance process more and more kids are applying rolling admissions, early decision or early action so they return to school after summer break and BAM are hit with coursework, senior year stuff, demonstrating interest in colleges by visiting, phoning, meeting, attending info sessions AND they are already filling out Common App, Coalitio, and Naviance AND writing essays AND securing teacher recommendations AND of course participating in those EC activities that demonstrate commitment and leadership.

It's just a lot and it isn't even mid October.

You aren't required to participate in that 'arms race'. There are plenty of schools for your very smart kid. You are not a victim, you made a choice.[u]

PREACH IT SISTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The colleges driving the push for kids to take 5 AP classes at a time, plus intense ECS that show their "passion" plus the rest of the their schedule... it is ridiculous.

in college 5 classes is a full schedule - that is probably 16 credit hours right there. That is a FULL SCHEDULE.

But we expect these kids to be doing a full college level schedule (with a huge amount of homework that no way reflects the homework level of actual college classes in college) PLUS the other 2 classes they need for graduation, PLUS time intensive ECS, PLUS doing all the college apps and writing essays to sell themselves.

It is ridiculous. AP system is a scam and shame on colleges for buying in to the hype and screwing over our kids.

No colleges don't expect this - other parents push this expectation on others.

Disagree. I read a board where there is a mom who works in university admissions at a highly ranked school. They want at least 8 APS, preferably more, meaningful and high level ECs and the kid to have a "passion" that they sell to the admissions people. Sorry but it is true now.

[Anonymous]

I am a parent of a kid who is not doing the "race to nowhere." She has taken a total of 2 APs, as well as some honors and some regular classes. She is applying to 8 colleges because some are geographically far away, some are closer to home, some are reach, some are safety, some are great in her possible intended major, some don't have her "what she thinks is her major. Maybe out of 8, she'll get into 4-5 and we hope by spring she'll figure out what she wants.

Even without the heavy school courseload, she has a job for 15 hours per week and she likes hanging out with friends, so adding in the whole college application process has been stressful. Admittedly, part of that is just learning what the process is! Our school was not very good in laying that out. We are also trying to get in all applications early action to hopefully increase her chances but also just to be done with everything before the winter break.

She did already apply to a safety school and was admitted. We both loved the school when we visited (but it's far away), but that has been a great stress relief to know that she is already in somewhere that she would be happy at. It's not a competitive school, but we are trying not to get caught up in the college one upmanship race.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: The truth is when your kids get to high school, they’re probably going to want to be in classes with their friends, the “smart kids”.

I teach academic level and honors. The popular kids are in academic level as well.

Well, that was my kids' experience. They attended a "gifted and talented" program in middle school, and when they moved up to high school had the choice between taking regular classes and the advanced ones. Even though they might not have felt like they wanted to be pushed to do more work in the advanced classes, the truth was that all their friends and the so called "smart kids" were taking the advanced classes. The peer group was all taking the harder classes. The regular classes were not the kids they considered their academic peers and there were much lower expectations for behavior as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: The truth is when your kids get to high school, they’re probably going to want to be in classes with their friends, the “smart kids”.

I teach academic level and honors. The popular kids are in academic level as well.

Not popular, smart!

[Anonymous]

DC #2 has submitted 7 apps and already accepted to one (rolling admission). We learned our lesson with DC #1. The essay doesn’t have to be perfect. Just get the apps in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DC #2 has submitted 7 apps and already accepted to one (rolling admission). We learned our lesson with DC #1. The essay doesn’t have to be perfect. Just get the apps in.

I am the PP band parent. The essay has to be good enough. For some schools, draft essay is good enough; for others, a more refined essay is required. Basically, if you really want to go to a school (DD with William and Mary) and you are not in the 75% percent (DD is about the average SAT and GPA) get a good essay together. And good can be fun, at least that is what we are trying.

[Anonymous]

Do seniors need to push themselves this much now or is this self inflicted? When I was in HS, junior year was hardest. You had to show some drive on senior year but it was nothing like 4 APs etc. I took a half day schedule, had a low key internship, and only 2 of the 4 classes were AP. And I went to a top 25 school. Senior year was the best. I have younger kids and this is making me nervous.