Any parents of seniors want to commiserate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is punishment for taking too many AP classes

Not the problem in my kid’s case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have never seen my DD so stressed out and unhappy. I thought junior year was supposed to be the hardest but she never seemed like this last year. The stress of college apps on top of an unbelievable amount of homework in her senior year classes is too much. Can’t they take it a bit easier on them first quarter? It’s hard for me to watch.

First quarter is really bad for my DD -- in addition to class there are the marching band practices (10 hours per week) plus most Saturdays being taken up by Marching competitions. And this year, it is looking like the marching season will extend a few weeks (the band is really god and may add a national competition). She has not had time to complete her college essays. Most of the schools she is applying to are limited in the requirements, but she is not applying to her first choice ED because she does not have the time to get the second essay done before Nov 1. She is a good student -- 4.2 + GPA with 1400+ SAT's, taking 5 APs. But she can not manufacture time. Between now and thanksgiving, she most Sundays (two are allocated) to get caught up on work, and 1 Saturday, and three days off from school (where there may or may not be band practice).

She is happy for te band's success this year, and thinks this is a once in a lifetime experience where everything comes together with band -- literally the first VA band to win a BOA regional in more than 40 years). But, it is hard work. #proudfather.

Geez PP your excuses and posts are so painful to read. Students with your snoflakes’s schedule are a dime a dozen in the DMV.

Wait a minute, all she needs is on essay for the college of her dreams? For god’s sake, have her miss a freaking band practice! College is much more important!

Would you tell a football player to miss a game or practice? She takes band very seriously.

NP here. Uh, yes, I absolutely would.
This is crazy!

Another NP: I, absolutely, would encourage my child to miss a sport practice and/or game to finish one essay for his FC school. No hesitation!

Something makes no sense if a three hour practice is what separates your child from the perfect essay and garbage.

PP here. Exactly. It is not that three hours would make a difference. It is the repeated three hours 3 days a week + the loss of most Saturdays for competitions + regular homework....

Marching band is a commitment of about 300 hours from August 1 to the end of marching season. School is about 50-60 hrs per week (HW + Class). During the Fall, Marching Band adds at least 10 hours a week, and sometimes (for example last week) 30 hours.

So at 60-90 hours per week, there is not a lot of time for applications. Getting the Apps done is about an 80 hour task. The breakdown is 20 hours per big essay, and about 5 hours per app. If you are in band, the fall is a tough time. (Similarly, if you play football, fall is tough).

[Anonymous]

Geez proud father your excuses and posts are so painful to read. Students with your snoflakes’s schedule are a dime a dozen in the DMV.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Congrats to all whose kids are done. I can't even imagine that one person whose kid already submitted all their apps! To the PP who had a consultant. We didn't even consider it because of the money, she's never needed any academic support before and I don't think it's fair. But if it could have spared us the current situation maybe I should've been more open-minded!

Sounds like my kid is one of the few who is in bad shape. It's a shame because she is a great student but I think her procrastination will lead to much less strong applications than she should have. So much for my attempts at commiseration. I feel even worse now!

I'm there with you, OP. Mostly I'm kicking myself for not hiring an essay coach (at something way less than $5K because no way can we afford that). My kid is a high-flyer academically but his strengths are in math/science/computer science, not English and writing, so his natural inclinations are not to whip out a bunch of well-written drafts. It's so painful what he's going through right now. I had every good intention this summer, even signed him up for a one-week essay writing workshop, but that got canceled and between his work as a JC, taking an online class, and the rest of the work/family stuff, I just dropped the ball in finding someone else for him to be accountable to. He can't apply ED because we can't afford the huge price sticker yet won't get any financial aid, but I think he's going to have to drop a couple of the highly-ranked schools on his EA list because there aren't enough hours in the day.

For what it's worth, my sister makes a (very good) living in NYC as a test and essay tutor, and she is even now getting calls from frantic parents whose kids are in the same situation -- heavy courseload, time-consuming sport or EC, and the need to eat/sleep socialize -- and the essays are not under control. The number of supplemental essays is insane, too, at many colleges.

It's a crazy, crazy system.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for your response, PP. My kid is in a similar boat -- we can't afford ED but I doubt her list of EA apps will get done. She's also a STEM kid. She's a good writer but not with writing about herself. I'm not sure most people (including adults) are naturally good at personal narrative. And the number of supplementals are totally out of control considering how many schools kids have to apply to these days with the increased selectivity of nearly every school. The system is crazy and definitely biased towards the rich.

[Anonymous]

What I find so difficult is that we have a list of 8-10 schools, and each wants something different. For one we need to fill out the grades on the SRAR form. For anther we need to send official scores from the school. For a 3rd, we can fill them out on the common app. For SATs, some want official, some will take it self-reported. Each has a different deadline, has additional questions, etc. If we had 3-4 schools, it is easy to manage, but with 8-10, it becomes a clusterf* of needed information worthy of creating a spreadsheet.

In the "olden" days, we filled out 2-4 paper apps, the school sent the transcripts, and we were done. This whole process is for the birds.

[Anonymous]

Why are kids now having to apply to 8-10 schools? When I applied, I chose 4. What has changed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are kids now having to apply to 8-10 schools? When I applied, I chose 4. What has changed?

1. Hysterics


2. Tuition increases = more shopping around

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are kids now having to apply to 8-10 schools? When I applied, I chose 4. What has changed?

1. Hysterics


2. Tuition increases = more shopping around

Plus common app. Easier to apply to 12. Kids do. Number of apps at school goes up. Number admitted goes down. You used to get into matches. Now, you get into half. So you need twice as many.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What I find so difficult is that we have a list of 8-10 schools, and each wants something different. For one we need to fill out the grades on the SRAR form. For anther we need to send official scores from the school. For a 3rd, we can fill them out on the common app. For SATs, some want official, some will take it self-reported. Each has a different deadline, has additional questions, etc. If we had 3-4 schools, it is easy to manage, but with 8-10, it becomes a clusterf* of needed information worthy of creating a spreadsheet.

In the "olden" days, we filled out 2-4 paper apps, the school sent the transcripts, and we were done. This whole process is for the birds.

It helps to streamline.

We have hit this, and we tried to streamline. We have deadlines of rolling, 11/1 EA, 11/15 EA, 12/1 for merit money, 1/1 and 1/15. This became rolling first (and done), 11/1 for everything before Christmas, and 1/1 for everything after. It’s easier than keeping track of 6.

SRAR is optional for every school I have seen except VT (but I’m sure it’s not for others). They will take transcripts. Most require them. dS pit in all transcript request form at once. One date on each sheet. No SRAR. We’re paying the extra $5 for the transcript. (VT that plus Coalition, it just got dropped). Can do grades different ways doesn’t usually mean have to. If they don’t require it a specific way, just submit them all as transcripts.

All colleges got top M and top V SAT and the three 740 plus subject tests. DS also self reported on CA. If self reporting is enough, well, they have the CH copy in case my kid gets in.

We are full pay by far, seeking merit. FAFSA went everywhere last weekend. I’m not trying to figure out the policy of each school.

And your kid can reuse supplemental essay. After CA, my kid has “my travel essay” and “my music essay”. They can be reworked to fit every supplemental question we’ve fit, except “Why college X”. If my kid can’t snap out 200 words on that, we need to rethink him applying. But their is a lot of overlap. He wanted: great undergrad science research. Great music opportunities for non-majors. Great overseas study options. If he’s applying, the school has these. So, it’s the same basic essay, with a couple sentence about something very unique to the school or something he saw on campus he liked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I find so difficult is that we have a list of 8-10 schools, and each wants something different. For one we need to fill out the grades on the SRAR form. For anther we need to send official scores from the school. For a 3rd, we can fill them out on the common app. For SATs, some want official, some will take it self-reported. Each has a different deadline, has additional questions, etc. If we had 3-4 schools, it is easy to manage, but with 8-10, it becomes a clusterf* of needed information worthy of creating a spreadsheet.

In the "olden" days, we filled out 2-4 paper apps, the school sent the transcripts, and we were done. This whole process is for the birds.

It helps to streamline.

We have hit this, and we tried to streamline. We have deadlines of rolling, 11/1 EA, 11/15 EA, 12/1 for merit money, 1/1 and 1/15. This became rolling first (and done), 11/1 for everything before Christmas, and 1/1 for everything after. It’s easier than keeping track of 6.

SRAR is optional for every school I have seen except VT (but I’m sure it’s not for others). They will take transcripts. Most require them. dS pit in all transcript request form at once. One date on each sheet. No SRAR. We’re paying the extra $5 for the transcript. (VT that plus Coalition, it just got dropped). Can do grades different ways doesn’t usually mean have to. If they don’t require it a specific way, just submit them all as transcripts.

All colleges got top M and top V SAT and the three 740 plus subject tests. DS also self reported on CA. If self reporting is enough, well, they have the CH copy in case my kid gets in.

We are full pay by far, seeking merit. FAFSA went everywhere last weekend. I’m not trying to figure out the policy of each school.

And your kid can reuse supplemental essay. After CA, my kid has “my travel essay” and “my music essay”. They can be reworked to fit every supplemental question we’ve fit, except “Why college X”. If my kid can’t snap out 200 words on that, we need to rethink him applying. But their is a lot of overlap. He wanted: great undergrad science research. Great music opportunities for non-majors. Great overseas study options. If he’s applying, the school has these. So, it’s the same basic essay, with a couple sentence about something very unique to the school or something he saw on campus he liked.

Sorry for typos. Eating lunch and on an iPhone.

[Anonymous]

Parents; it isn’t us (the schools). It’s the application process. It’s all the extracurriculars your kids chose to do. It’s the 5-6 APs they’re taking. Of course that’s a heavy load but why are you saying “can’t you take it easy on them 1st quarter?” TBH, we do! But when your child willingly loads themselves up like that, it compounds. It’s not like one class is giving out 8 hours of homework a day. It’s all of it. Encourage your kids to have balance. Don’t encourage 5 APS and multiple activities and you won’t have this stressful experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parents; it isn’t us (the schools). It’s the application process. It’s all the extracurriculars your kids chose to do. It’s the 5-6 APs they’re taking. Of course that’s a heavy load but why are you saying “can’t you take it easy on them 1st quarter?” TBH, we do! But when your child willingly loads themselves up like that, it compounds. It’s not like one class is giving out 8 hours of homework a day. It’s all of it. Encourage your kids to have balance. Don’t encourage 5 APS and multiple activities and you won’t have this stressful experience.

Our kids are taking 5-6 APs because there's an "academic rigor" arms race going on. High School counselors are asked to rate how rigorous a courseload the students are taking compared with classmates -- are they in the top fifth of the class in terms of hardest courses chosen? So as more kids take 3 AP classes senior year, you need to now take 4 AP classes to be in this top quintile.... or 5... or 6. Keeps escalating.

Then because of the vagaries of the college acceptance process more and more kids are applying rolling admissions, early decision or early action so they return to school after summer break and BAM are hit with coursework, senior year stuff, demonstrating interest in colleges by visiting, phoning, meeting, attending info sessions AND they are already filling out Common App, Coalitio, and Naviance AND writing essays AND securing teacher recommendations AND of course participating in those EC activities that demonstrate commitment and leadership.

It's just a lot and it isn't even mid October.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents; it isn’t us (the schools). It’s the application process. It’s all the extracurriculars your kids chose to do. It’s the 5-6 APs they’re taking. Of course that’s a heavy load but why are you saying “can’t you take it easy on them 1st quarter?” TBH, we do! But when your child willingly loads themselves up like that, it compounds. It’s not like one class is giving out 8 hours of homework a day. It’s all of it. Encourage your kids to have balance. Don’t encourage 5 APS and multiple activities and you won’t have this stressful experience.

Our kids are taking 5-6 APs because there's an "academic rigor" arms race going on. High School counselors are asked to rate how rigorous a courseload the students are taking compared with classmates -- are they in the top fifth of the class in terms of hardest courses chosen? So as more kids take 3 AP classes senior year, you need to now take 4 AP classes to be in this top quintile.... or 5... or 6. Keeps escalating.

Then because of the vagaries of the college acceptance process more and more kids are applying rolling admissions, early decision or early action so they return to school after summer break and BAM are hit with coursework, senior year stuff, demonstrating interest in colleges by visiting, phoning, meeting, attending info sessions AND they are already filling out Common App, Coalitio, and Naviance AND writing essays AND securing teacher recommendations AND of course participating in those EC activities that demonstrate commitment and leadership.

It's just a lot and it isn't even mid October.

You aren't required to participate in that 'arms race'. There are plenty of schools for your very smart kid. You are not a victim, you made a choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are kids now having to apply to 8-10 schools? When I applied, I chose 4. What has changed?

1. Hysterics


2. Tuition increases = more shopping around

I'm the PP that spent the 5K on a consultant for my DD. The biggest difference is that all of the applications are submitted electronically. One can apply to multiple UCs (California) with the same information by checking boxes online.

I completely agree that this process is insane. The consultant worked with DD to manage the process through spreadsheets.