Parent Engagement at Gentrifying Schools - WaPo feature story

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems odd to me that YY is so prominently featured in this article since the school's demographics have been pretty consistent for years; i.e. it's not been affected by the gentrification that's the whole premise of the article.

They're trying to build bridges between people who want their child to learn Mandarin, and people who don't actually care.

No sympathy. If they want their kids to learn to speak anything approaching halfway decent Chinese during childhood, they needed to get a clue and live near a community of Mandarin speakers.

Hint: not in DC unless they're native speakers themselves. Total joke.

[Anonymous]

One of the previous posters noted that the wants and needs for rich kids are different than poor kids. This is not necessarily the lynchpin...

... access to wants and needs easily is the lynchpin.

Don’t let the demographics at schools fool you. There are more low income / income insecure families than are reported.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Non paid Kindred parent here.

If I reveal the school I’ll definitely be outed so please no pointed questions.

After being involved bi-weekly for over a year, I probably won’t do it this year. I see the intent that Kindred has, but they have a long way to go with actually achieving the goals expressed in the article.

I left every meeting feeling exposed, emotionally drained, and highly weary. It’s like being a victim of abuse and discrimination, then having to explain and teach other people who haven’t experienced the pain about it, then the meetings over and we all return to either our comfort or our hardship with no real solutions.

What was supremely frustrating about it was that it would have all been worth it if there were actual school policy and procedure changes that impacted the children in direct ways.

I like that I met people who I wouldn’t have otherwise met, I also feel like since they met me in that space it kind of marginalizes me to the caricature they see versus really building something based on our kids.

At our school Kindred seemed to be competing with the OTSo versus authentically supporting the existing pto which disturbed me.

Thank you for sharing. This was the alternative side I was hoping to hear. The danger in the article posted is that it was all sunshine and rainbows. Parents in my PTO are clambering to join forces with Kindred, without stopping to figure out the full picture. I am not saying it is a bad organization- and perhaps our PTO should decide to pair with them. But I do think it is important to hear all sides before aligning with a program no one knew about last week.

You are so right, the article was fluff journalism. I am often dismayed that feel good stories sometimes seem to come before basic journalistic skills at WaPo (not always - they should know better).

This type of work cannot come easy. Can you better explain what you mean here PP (bolded above)?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP non-paid Kindred parent here,

I’m not sure what the metrics are (not certain what data was collected before Kindred versus after Kindred type of thing).

If I had one wish for Kindred it would be that it could facilitate a pathway to increase parent engagement in existing PTOs for parents of moderate income , versus the current system at our school. Money and social currency is definitely is a barrier for participation for many parents.

One thing I related to from the article was the first statement Mike made about walking into a pto meeting and feeling unwelcomed. Not that anyone purposefully ignores or throw shade to a particular parent, but it can feel unwelcoming if one can’t rattle off a list of academic or social credentials just to participate and be treated with basic human kindness.

The only thing people should rattle off is kid’s/kids’ names and grades. You should not mention your resume line items. DC can be a very crappy place sometimes. Such annoying type-A people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I completely related to this article. We left a school in a gentrifying neighborhood because the UMC parents taking over the PTO had absolutely no regard for less wealthy families. They demanded that the afterschool program be revamped to have more enrichment activities at a cost of $400/month for one kid and a nominal discount if you have a second kid. Even though many families said that they could not afford it even with a discount and assistance through fundraisers, the PTO steamrolled ahead. One family was so distraught because they had 2 kids but their combined HHI was just too much to qualify for discounts but not enough to afford afterschool for two kids. WE threw in the towel at that point.

This is a bit funny to me in light of the recent thread on aftercare costs (in which you can see, 400/month isn't that unusual). But most of these offer a significant discount. I do understand though that there may be families who earn too much but still can't qualify - but it's sad to hear this wasn't thought through fully. I am currently trying to advocate for this type of "better" aftercare at our school. Like someone else said, we simply have 2 DCs and serving both is near to impossible. It's not the UMC parents fault for wanting quality aftercare, either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP non-paid Kindred parent here,

I’m not sure what the metrics are (not certain what data was collected before Kindred versus after Kindred type of thing).

If I had one wish for Kindred it would be that it could facilitate a pathway to increase parent engagement in existing PTOs for parents of moderate income , versus the current system at our school. Money and social currency is definitely is a barrier for participation for many parents.

One thing I related to from the article was the first statement Mike made about walking into a pto meeting and feeling unwelcomed. Not that anyone purposefully ignores or throw shade to a particular parent, but it can feel unwelcoming if one can’t rattle off a list of academic or social credentials just to participate and be treated with basic human kindness.

This makes so much sense. And it's also really unfair for white people to ask people of color to educate them on white privilege and racism. It isn't their job or responsibility. It's emotionally draining at best ... There are so many who just refuse to accept that white privilege exists, or that they are benefiting from structural racism.

I've mentioned this before on this board but if I were the dictator of DC for a week, I would force every white person to read White Fragility: Why It's So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism https://www.amazon.com/White-Fragility-People-About-Racism/dp/0807047414

Just re: the White Fragility book - I'd just respond with some narrow criticism toward that book in that it needs to be a little more prescriptive. It rightly hits people who can't cope with having their advantages in life getting called out and the "pain" that can come with having to identify the ways they can hurt other people through the lens of race and power. But these (we?) are people who aren't doing a great job of engagement - so we need another chapter, at least, on approaches to bridging racial divides, e.g., approaching situations with humility, emphasizing sympathy to others' perspectives, defensiveness should never come first, there is no congenital need to be right, accept room to grow in your own life and you'll get along better with others - that kind of stuff. Obviously this is not that book in one paragraph, but I think that's where the author needed to go next.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Non paid Kindred parent here.

If I reveal the school I’ll definitely be outed so please no pointed questions.

After being involved bi-weekly for over a year, I probably won’t do it this year. I see the intent that Kindred has, but they have a long way to go with actually achieving the goals expressed in the article.

I left every meeting feeling exposed, emotionally drained, and highly weary. It’s like being a victim of abuse and discrimination, then having to explain and teach other people who haven’t experienced the pain about it, then the meetings over and we all return to either our comfort or our hardship with no real solutions.

What was supremely frustrating about it was that it would have all been worth it if there were actual school policy and procedure changes that impacted the children in direct ways.

I like that I met people who I wouldn’t have otherwise met, I also feel like since they met me in that space it kind of marginalizes me to the caricature they see versus really building something based on our kids.

At our school Kindred seemed to be competing with the OTSo versus authentically supporting the existing pto which disturbed me.

Thank you for sharing. This was the alternative side I was hoping to hear. The danger in the article posted is that it was all sunshine and rainbows. Parents in my PTO are clambering to join forces with Kindred, without stopping to figure out the full picture. I am not saying it is a bad organization- and perhaps our PTO should decide to pair with them. But I do think it is important to hear all sides before aligning with a program no one knew about last week.

You are so right, the article was fluff journalism. I am often dismayed that feel good stories sometimes seem to come before basic journalistic skills at WaPo (not always - they should know better).

This type of work cannot come easy. Can you better explain what you mean here PP (bolded above)?

Several times Kindred would plan events on the same day or very close to the day of events the pto planned. Also there was a lot of open pto bashing without any members of the pto there.

[Anonymous]

My worry about this is that the bar set for engagement is above the level of engagement of a normal parent with their neighbors, fellow parents, and often even friends.

I am involved in the PTO and if I had a job that took more of my time or mental energy, I would never be able to do this.

Engaging with other parents is not easy for an introvert and you only can talk to so many during dropoff or pickup.

The chance that people get left out when the norm in America is disengagement in every sphere is really high.

I think that society should have some more sympathy for parents who want to be involved but do not have unlimited time or temperaments suited for deeper engagement with people they don't know.

Certainly meetings can be welcoming and open. But they can't last forever and they eventually need to make decisions. Or leaders need to make decisions on things like organizing fundraisers or events. Or deadlines get blown and events don't happen at all.

I just don't know where the expected equilibrium is for a group like Kindred. Is it "be a little more like this!" or "end parent email because people without email can't email you."

I want life to work, for everyone, but I've only got 24 hours in a day.

[Anonymous]

stupid white liberals who are afraid to fix their school

look the majority of schools in DC suck until higher income folks come in. That's just a fact and in DC that means whites who have higher income than the existing mostly poorer black residents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My worry about this is that the bar set for engagement is above the level of engagement of a normal parent with their neighbors, fellow parents, and often even friends.

I am involved in the PTO and if I had a job that took more of my time or mental energy, I would never be able to do this.

Engaging with other parents is not easy for an introvert and you only can talk to so many during dropoff or pickup.

The chance that people get left out when the norm in America is disengagement in every sphere is really high.

I think that society should have some more sympathy for parents who want to be involved but do not have unlimited time or temperaments suited for deeper engagement with people they don't know.

Certainly meetings can be welcoming and open. But they can't last forever and they eventually need to make decisions. Or leaders need to make decisions on things like organizing fundraisers or events. Or deadlines get blown and events don't happen at all.

I just don't know where the expected equilibrium is for a group like Kindred. Is it "be a little more like this!" or "end parent email because people without email can't email you."

I want life to work, for everyone, but I've only got 24 hours in a day.

Pp Kindred parent here, This! You’ve hit the nail spot on!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:stupid white liberals who are afraid to fix their school

look the majority of schools in DC suck until higher income folks come in. That's just a fact and in DC that means whites who have higher income than the existing mostly poorer black residents

To what article are you referring? The article discussed here is: white rich people, who may or may not be liberal, are fixing schools but minorities feel excluded. Go back to sleep troll.

[Anonymous]

Yu Ying is a broken school??? I don’t get it???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My worry about this is that the bar set for engagement is above the level of engagement of a normal parent with their neighbors, fellow parents, and often even friends.

I am involved in the PTO and if I had a job that took more of my time or mental energy, I would never be able to do this.

Engaging with other parents is not easy for an introvert and you only can talk to so many during dropoff or pickup.

The chance that people get left out when the norm in America is disengagement in every sphere is really high.

I think that society should have some more sympathy for parents who want to be involved but do not have unlimited time or temperaments suited for deeper engagement with people they don't know.

Certainly meetings can be welcoming and open. But they can't last forever and they eventually need to make decisions. Or leaders need to make decisions on things like organizing fundraisers or events. Or deadlines get blown and events don't happen at all.

I just don't know where the expected equilibrium is for a group like Kindred. Is it "be a little more like this!" or "end parent email because people without email can't email you."

I want life to work, for everyone, but I've only got 24 hours in a day.

Pp Kindred parent here, This! You’ve hit the nail spot on!

The idea of being inclusive to the extent bolder above taps into many parent engagement voids. Great insight here. Sorry that the post article spent so much time on race ... not new as race/gentrification used in the title as clickbait. YY isn’t even a gentrified school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems odd to me that YY is so prominently featured in this article since the school's demographics have been pretty consistent for years; i.e. it's not been affected by the gentrification that's the whole premise of the article.

They're trying to build bridges between people who want their child to learn Mandarin, and people who don't actually care.

No sympathy. If they want their kids to learn to speak anything approaching halfway decent Chinese during childhood, they needed to get a clue and live near a community of Mandarin speakers.

Hint: not in DC unless they're native speakers themselves. Total joke.

Few DC public school parents can grasp the argument. What they see is a little Mandarin at the expense of.....a lot of English being sooooooo much better than enrolling at the crappy local DCPS, or moving to the burbs for schools.

The result is that hardly anybody questions this absurd Chinese "immersion" model. They'd much fret about low SES black disenfranchisement w/in the absurd conceit of immersion without classmates who speak the language at home. None too bright.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My worry about this is that the bar set for engagement is above the level of engagement of a normal parent with their neighbors, fellow parents, and often even friends.

I am involved in the PTO and if I had a job that took more of my time or mental energy, I would never be able to do this.

Engaging with other parents is not easy for an introvert and you only can talk to so many during dropoff or pickup.

The chance that people get left out when the norm in America is disengagement in every sphere is really high.

I think that society should have some more sympathy for parents who want to be involved but do not have unlimited time or temperaments suited for deeper engagement with people they don't know.

Certainly meetings can be welcoming and open. But they can't last forever and they eventually need to make decisions. Or leaders need to make decisions on things like organizing fundraisers or events. Or deadlines get blown and events don't happen at all.

I just don't know where the expected equilibrium is for a group like Kindred. Is it "be a little more like this!" or "end parent email because people without email can't email you."

I want life to work, for everyone, but I've only got 24 hours in a day.

Pp Kindred parent here, This! You’ve hit the nail spot on!

The idea of being inclusive to the extent bolder above taps into many parent engagement voids. Great insight here. Sorry that the post article spent so much time on race ... not new as race/gentrification used in the title as clickbait. YY isn’t even a gentrified school.

Huh? YY's at-risk rate is in the single digits.