HS grad party - alcohol for adults

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've never been to a HS grad part without beer and wine.

I feel like this thread belongs with the Mormons.

I don't disagree but seriously how do you keep the 18 year olds from indulging? My kids I can watch but what about all the friends?

Keep the family/family friends party and the friends party separate.
We are hosting a grad party and dd is hosting a grad party.
Ours will have alcohol.
Hers won’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for the replies. I guess it’s best to just not have alcohol. Since this is our first grad, I wasn’t sure what the norm is. Just to clarify - I’m not concerned about the teenagers sneaking alcohol. They definitely aren’t partiers and there will be way too many adults around for them to sneak anyway. More concerned about the optics, I guess.

My friend (jokingly) suggested putting it in a cooler and labeling it “beer and wine” in cursive so that the teens can’t read it.

We've had beer and wine at grad parties for our two oldest and will be doing that for our youngest as well. Same at the many parties we've attended over the years and I've never known of a problem. (But I do love the idea of cursive writing as a secret code for adults only. )

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS graduated last year and before his party a friend told me that the law is that if one of the kids were to consume alcohol at your home and ended up in an accident you could be charged. I never researched it so I'm not sure if that's accurate but it was enough to make us decide not to serve the adults. i admit to being a nervous nelly about that kind of thing though.

NP. Do not apologize for not wanting to have alcohol there, and please don't laugh it off and tell friends, "i'm just such a nervous nellie." Your party, your rules, venue or not. As PPs are saying, it's fine not to serve any alcohol. Most of my friends would not even bat an eyelash at a party honoring a teen and hosting teens being a party that just doesn't have alcohol.

All the posters saying they trust their kids, or they wouldn't invite kids they couldn't trust not to drink, or adults should be able to drink if they want--you and OP should ignore them. If YOU as the host aren't comfortable serving alcohol because of, as OP put it, the optics, then don't serve it. If you have adult friends who would care so very much that they'd judge you for not serving alcohol. then question whether they're really worth having as friends. They can leave the judgement at home.

OP, I also agree with the PP who said that not serving alcohol is respectful of the person being honored.

Not serving alcohol b/c of the optics is also caving to the judgment of others, isn't it? That's what doing or not doing anything b/c of the optics means -- you're worried about how others would perceive and judge it.