What happens to childless LMC/working class people when they get old?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So let's do a poll...how many of you people have actually wiped your elderly parents' bottoms??? Honesty please.

This thread isn't about actually wiping parents' bottoms. It's about having kids who are around who are looking out for you and making sure you're getting adequate care.

Even if you have kids, they could pass before you or choose not to help. My dad is extremely mean and my sister and mom want to control everything (they are divorced but my mom is going to do a money grab as its pretty obvious) so I gave up trying to help and seeing him as he scapegoats me for things that have nothing to do with me (this is not a new thing).

However, my MIL was always kind to me so I'm happy to help her. Yes, I've wiped her bottom. I took care of her for several years till I could no longer and put her in a nursing home but still am the primary person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So let's do a poll...how many of you people have actually wiped your elderly parents' bottoms??? Honesty please.

This thread isn't about actually wiping parents' bottoms. It's about having kids who are around who are looking out for you and making sure you're getting adequate care.[b]

Why don't people understand this?

[Anonymous]

Sometimes wealthy childless old people get preyed upon by caregivers who rob them. One lady was likely done in by caregivers who produced a 'will' leaving them millions. There wasn't an obituary and friends didn't know she died until someone knocked on her door and found that everything was gone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes wealthy childless old people get preyed upon by caregivers who rob them. One lady was likely done in by caregivers who produced a 'will' leaving them millions. There wasn't an obituary and friends didn't know she died until someone knocked on her door and found that everything was gone.

How many threads on DCUM are about one sibling preying on the infirm parent and siphoning the supposed inheritance of the other siblings? Elderly abuse can be committed by anyone, including one's own children. Isn't that more painful than some stranger? TO be taken by your own child? I know this because my own uncle took my grandmother to the bank from the hospital and basically got all her money. My mom was so pissed and blindsided. Of course, her brother couldnt handle dealing with their mom after some weeks and dumped her in a nursing home. How's that for family? I can't help but question certain expectations like having children for one's old age as a result. Call me cynical, but I'm remaining childfree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know why DCUMers are so against the idea of being mobile and lucid in one's old age.

You can be "for it" all you want but then you have a stroke and wind up in a wheelchair anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know why DCUMers are so against the idea of being mobile and lucid in one's old age.

You can be "for it" all you want but then you have a stroke and wind up in a wheelchair anyway.

People who have to deal with raising children are more likely to suffer strokes from all the stress

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And this is the crisis American politicians need to be taking about. The failure to have adequate savings, healthcare for the aging population is going to sink this country. This is bigger than the student loan crisis, Wall Street fall out or housing crash. Long term care policies are no longer fianancially viable or even being sold. My FIL has an amazing policy that the insurers no longer even offers cause its a money loser. His “independent care” facility is $8200/month. Yes a month. After months of appeals his care policy kicked in and will cover $6k a month. Azherimer cade can run 11-15k month. The millineals can’t afford to buy homes much less care for aging parents. We also don’t have enough replacement babies or you g workers to support social security. Managers of nursing homes all know this shit is going to totally blow up. Even with Medicaid there just aren’t enough places to take in folks.

FTW. +100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And this is the crisis American politicians need to be taking about. The failure to have adequate savings, healthcare for the aging population is going to sink this country. This is bigger than the student loan crisis, Wall Street fall out or housing crash. Long term care policies are no longer fianancially viable or even being sold. My FIL has an amazing policy that the insurers no longer even offers cause its a money loser. His “independent care” facility is $8200/month. Yes a month. After months of appeals his care policy kicked in and will cover $6k a month. Azherimer cade can run 11-15k month. The millineals can’t afford to buy homes much less care for aging parents. We also don’t have enough replacement babies or you g workers to support social security. Managers of nursing homes all know this shit is going to totally blow up. Even with Medicaid there just aren’t enough places to take in folks.

FTW. +100

I notice that the US nursing homes don't hireFilipino carers. If they did, the Hacienda scandal wouldn't have happened

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And this is the crisis American politicians need to be taking about. The failure to have adequate savings, healthcare for the aging population is going to sink this country. This is bigger than the student loan crisis, Wall Street fall out or housing crash. Long term care policies are no longer fianancially viable or even being sold. My FIL has an amazing policy that the insurers no longer even offers cause its a money loser. His “independent care” facility is $8200/month. Yes a month. After months of appeals his care policy kicked in and will cover $6k a month. Azherimer cade can run 11-15k month. The millineals can’t afford to buy homes much less care for aging parents. We also don’t have enough replacement babies or you g workers to support social security. Managers of nursing homes all know this shit is going to totally blow up. Even with Medicaid there just aren’t enough places to take in folks.

FTW. +100

I notice that the US nursing homes don't hireFilipino carers. If they did, the Hacienda scandal wouldn't have happened

Trump supporters would rather not have those Filipino care givers because they are sure there are many real Americans who would do the job, so we don't need to import anymore low skilled workers according to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know why DCUMers are so against the idea of being mobile and lucid in one's old age.

You can be "for it" all you want but then you have a stroke and wind up in a wheelchair anyway.

People who have to deal with raising children are more likely to suffer strokes from all the stress

Truth!

[Anonymous]

Why do childless people like to tell parents that there's no guarantee that their kids will look after them, yet they feel so confident that they will receive attentive care from their nieces and nephews?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do childless people like to tell parents that there's no guarantee that their kids will look after them, yet they feel so confident that they will receive attentive care from their nieces and nephews?

That's not me. I don't believe in depending on other people's children unless they're financially compensated. I think women who engage in care work (unless it's your own children) with no compensation are kinda dumb. I saw it in my own family and I wont go down the same path.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do childless people like to tell parents that there's no guarantee that their kids will look after them, yet they feel so confident that they will receive attentive care from their nieces and nephews?

That's not me. I don't believe in depending on other people's children unless they're financially compensated. I think women who engage in care work (unless it's your own children) with no compensation are kinda dumb. I saw it in my own family and I wont go down the same path.

Yeah, taking care of my elderly mother without compensation is really dumb.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do childless people like to tell parents that there's no guarantee that their kids will look after them, yet they feel so confident that they will receive attentive care from their nieces and nephews?

That's not me. I don't believe in depending on other people's children unless they're financially compensated. I think women who engage in care work (unless it's your own children) with no compensation are kinda dumb. I saw it in my own family and I wont go down the same path.

Yeah, taking care of my elderly mother without compensation is really dumb.

You didn't choose to have a mother but your mother chose to have you so therein lies the asymmetry. Anyway, has anyone noticed that it's only daughters who care for their own parents on DCUM???

[Anonymous]

My husband is the caregiver for his mother, with my help. She has money, lived a healthy lifestyle, and worked into her 70s. Dementia still hit her. She is in a well regarded memory care facility, but still needs someone looking out for her best interests. We have been the first to notice more than one minor fracture. And yes, we have both wiped her ass on numerous occasions. She has no other children, spouse, or other living relatives. Friends and church acquaintances have passed away or stopped visiting over the past three years.