Postnuptial Agreement - Would you sign?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I was OP and DH insisted, I would bring it to a lawyer and have them review. At the very minimum require DH to pay for his children's education regardless if you split now that he has the resources.

Wow, are you serious? No way would I sign anything. He can file for divorce.

Yes, this. OP, you said he hasn't presented anything to you and it was just a "suggestion." I call BS. He is thinking of it, and something like this just doesn't come from out of the blue. I am betting he is thinking about this for a while. Do not sign anything. Make him divorce you if this is the path he wants to go down. Then you will potentially see a large alimony. If you were there beside him for the past 15 years, and the loser is starting to think of bailing right as he makes it. Stick it out and make him file for divorce against you, and then you will get a heck of a lot more than you will potentially get under any bogus postnup.

[Anonymous]

Yes it's weird and yes it's offensive. Worst case he plans to divorce you. Why not review the post nup and make sure it benefits you when your judgement is not clouded by a real divorce? You would rather have a favorable post nup than a nasty divorce. Unless you want to hold him hostage. I don't see not signing it would change the fundamental problem of he might want to leave you. What would you gain by not agreeing other than a showdown?

[Anonymous]

I would not say anything about being hurt or give any speeches as you have here about contributing equally to the marriage financially for so many years. Both are completely irrelevant. This is business. No need for you to be defensive or justify your existence.

Be completely dispassionate and ask what are the financial or other reasons for a post nup. It could be as others have pointed out they just need better paperwork on the business. Or one of his siblings suggested it without knowing much about the subject. Listen to the reasons. Then I'd say, whether or not the explanations make sense, something like I know you want the children and me to protected if anything happened so I am sure you agree it's best I inquire further with a lawyer. Could you get the paperwork for me to discuss with the lawyer?

[Anonymous]

My father had a business and the terms of it was not hashed out with my mother. As a result, some of the money from their joint account went to help the business, against my mothers wishes. He also did not separate the family taxes and the business taxes properly which caused some loss of money.
If the family business is going to be a major income contributor, I would consult a lawyer. I don't know if the terms of the family business and the ways it is separate from you would be written up in a post-nup or in another document.
I would see your husband's proposal not only as a way to protect the business but also to protect yourself and your assets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is not just about working but also the value of ownership. This is something your husband is bringing into the household as a property. Because you are already married it may well be considered joint property, it was in my case. You will absolutely want to protect your interests in this business for your own benefit and your childrens'.

If the real concern is about ownership and not money, OP's husband should be willing to offer a generous cash payout in lieu of giving an ownership interest.

Not a lawyer but it would seem like there would have to be some cash payout for OP or some other benefit, for there to be consideration on her side. Otherwise, the postnup might not be worth the paper it's written on... or in OPs case, the paper it ain't gettin written on.

Maybe you should stick to not being a lawyer...

Sick burn, bro.

It's not a burn...what kind of asshole goes on the internet and says "well I'm not a lawyer but here's a legal opinion that I pulled out of my ass without even knowing the jurisdiction in which OP resides."

At least half of the posts in this thread are layperson legal opinions mixed in with relationship advice. Call down, grumpy.

[Anonymous]

PP - these are all things that should be done through other types of business agreements. A postnup is entirely different and is something that presumably would be set up to deny the OP any kind of ownership or financial stake in this new business venture. OP, I am with the others who say don't sign it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP - these are all things that should be done through other types of business agreements. A postnup is entirely different and is something that presumably would be set up to deny the OP any kind of ownership or financial stake in this new business venture. OP, I am with the others who say don't sign it.

Business partnerships typically have buy/sell agreements that prevent a spouse from becoming an owner. Partners A & B own a business 50/50. They have a buy/sell agreement, and life insurance to back it up. Partner A dies. Life insurance pays Partner A's spouse for the value of the his/here share of the business, and Partner B now owns 100%. Very common.

[Anonymous]

Not my DH's partnership. If my spouse dies I inherit his share of the business.

[Anonymous]

Also, if there is no ownership transfer on partner's death then why is there a buyout to spouse? You can't make a spouse sell. And you can't keep the revenue either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again- just trying to see if this is something that is common when a spouse comes into money? As I mentioned, this is not inheritance. It's a family business deal, which involves corporate assets and payouts.

I am no slouch and have been gainfully employed earning as much (if not more) than him since we have been together. The only time I wasn't working is when I was on maternity leave for our children together.

Sound like he's not just protecting himself then but multiple family members. If they all get post-nups I can see it being fair, it sounds unrealistic though.

Shouldn't he be more concerned about his immediate wife and family, as opposed to protecting his assets and those of this siblings/parents/whoever?
OP - this isn't good, IMO. I would not sign any kind of postnup. They require consent by both parties, and also need to be drafted by a third attorney. So you need three attorneys working on it. One representing you, one representing your spouse, and one working on the agreement. So, you have every right not to sign, and he cannot make you.
If it were me, I would tell him to GFH.

This is completely wrong and wins the award for the dumbest thing I've read on here today. Best practice would be for both parties to be represented but you definitely don't need a third party to draft the agreement.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I wonder if he used post-nup but really means something else. Upon hearing that you two are the only married ones, I would give him the benefit of the doubt here. I'm thinking his family suggested a way to make sure that "outsiders" (spouses, future spouses, etc.) stay out of the business dealings. I'm thinking there is a way that this can be done on a business level, and not on a personal/post-nup level.

+1- I work in wealth management and it's very likely that the family was given this advice by an attorney or advisor. The drama involved if someone gets a divorce is brutal. I would hear him out and see if he has a proposed agreement drafted. If so, get it reviewed by your own lawyer, & make sure you have a clear understanding of the current ownership structure (is it a corporation or partnership? What is the current valuation of the business, etc). I'd do a lot of homework before seeing an attorney so you understand what the division of assets would be now V after post nup. Make sure you consider retirement accounts, insurance policies etc .... Consider debt incurred as well as the potential profit, it might be beneficial for you if business goes south to have something in place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH dropped a bombshell on me this morning, and suggested that perhaps we should get a postnup. Married 15 years, and he is coming into some family money in the next few months. I honestly don't know what to think. We both work full time, and have been equal earners salary-wise (if anything, I make a little more in salary). We have four children. I was so shocked and admittedly hurt I didn't know what to say. My inclination is to say NO way.

My inclination would be to get divorced right now. But before you do, make sure he signs documents saying that any money he receives will be going to the college funds for your four kids. And if he won't sign that, tell him that you "don't feel comfortable with the postnup". Make him divorce you. Then you should be able to prove in court that he did it purely to avoid having to share the money with you.

Quite frankly, I think it's one of the most insulting things I've ever heard. Almost unbelievable, really.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP - these are all things that should be done through other types of business agreements. A postnup is entirely different and is something that presumably would be set up to deny the OP any kind of ownership or financial stake in this new business venture. OP, I am with the others who say don't sign it.

Business partnerships typically have buy/sell agreements that prevent a spouse from becoming an owner. Partners A & B own a business 50/50. They have a buy/sell agreement, and life insurance to back it up. Partner A dies. Life insurance pays Partner A's spouse for the value of the his/here share of the business, and Partner B now owns 100%. Very common.

This. It sounds like your husband just wants to screw you out of any money. It's disgusting. I'm really sorry.

[Anonymous]

Maybe if you are faced with a business and contract related question, and your first impulse is to think the husband is cheating it might be best to stay out of the finance forum.

Leave the legal advice to others.

[Anonymous]

Oh, this topic is all about the money.