How do you grapple with the cost of expensive colleges?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm guessing saving $180K per kid was the result of some windfalls and smart investing. We're a classic doughnut hole family with no debt and a much more modest lifestyle than anyone we know, and we're lucky to have saved a fraction of that while still saving for retirement, etc.

It seems the wealthier families we know also have a lot of family assistance. Unfortunately, that is not the case here. And we're too risk averse to invest.

To those just joining us, this thread is another iteration of people justifying paying a lot for college and justifying not paying a lot for college.

Here in the doughnut hole, I'm grateful my kids have good state colleges to turn to, and time to figure out at what point paying a premium for education makes the most sense. For my first, undergrad is not that time!

We started saving before they were born. No windfall, no lucky investing. Just continuous saving and keeping it a priority. When they were born, we were making a little over $100k. Now we hover around $200k. It was a gradual build up of income. One is in college and the other is heading this fall. We were able to save enough for each to go to an out of state school or private school with scholarship if that is what they chose. Which is what they are doing. One costs around $42k a year and the other will cost around $45k a year. This includes R&B, books, transportation, fees as well as tuition. For various reasons, in state did not work for either child and we were happy that we could give them the option for a better fit without loans.

Everyone has their own circumstances and needs to figure out what works for their family and children. We did what worked for us. Both DH and I came from families where our parents also saved and allowed us to figure out where we would go and through a combination of things (parent savings, working, scholarships) each of us was able to graduate without loans. We think of our parents gift to us as a pay it forward kind of thing and thus made decisions to try to do the same for our children. We are grateful it worked out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a hard time believing that potential Ivy/Stanford admits are being counseled into UVa and UM due to cost. It does seem that earnings between about $150K and $230K are basically confiscated by the schools, because we put 3 kids through very expensive privates on a $120K income and received about 60% grant aid doing so. We also did a $220K cash-out refinancing of our mortgage to pay the bills.

Well, believe it. It is true.

Half of the Blair SMAC magnet goes to UMD-CP every year. Do you think none of those students are qualified to attend Ivies and the like? They go to Maryland because their parents are in the donut hole and cannot afford $70K/year X multiple kids, and because many of them receive a free ride at UMD.

This is us (but not from Blair). Kid is @ UMD on a full ride. 529 money will be used for med school.

Congrats on the full ride to UMD. Did he get into an elite school?

The half of the students going to College Park or VT or UVA from Blair or TJ are mostly not going to get into the Ivies+. Too many of their classmates with better scores and grades are already going to the elites and leave little room for them. Given the yields (and financial aid) at the elite schools, it is highly unlikely (but not unheard of) for a student to turn them down for a state school. I would not believe my neighbor claiming his VT bound CS student turned down Carnegie-Mellon and Harvard unless he has acceptance letters and then think he was dumber than he looks.

He had pretty good offers to choose from but it was hard to turn down a full ride from UMD. It's a pretty sweet deal. The worst part (or should I say the most difficult part) has been the comments from other parents (he did all that work for that?? kinda comments). His sister (who also got a full ride from UMD) is finishing off her PHD program at a top tier engineering program. So, "UMD for undergrad for free and a top tier school for grad school (for free) or med school" approach has been working for us.

You must live in a W school catchment. I'm the PP with the UMD sophomore and no one has said anything like that to us - but we live in Silver Spring, where the donut hole is very common and people make higher education choices accordingly.

Kudos to you on your successful kids!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm guessing saving $180K per kid was the result of some windfalls and smart investing. We're a classic doughnut hole family with no debt and a much more modest lifestyle than anyone we know, and we're lucky to have saved a fraction of that while still saving for retirement, etc.

It seems the wealthier families we know also have a lot of family assistance. Unfortunately, that is not the case here. And we're too risk averse to invest.

To those just joining us, this thread is another iteration of people justifying paying a lot for college and justifying not paying a lot for college.

Here in the doughnut hole, I'm grateful my kids have good state colleges to turn to, and time to figure out at what point paying a premium for education makes the most sense. For my first, undergrad is not that time!

We started saving before they were born. No windfall, no lucky investing. Just continuous saving and keeping it a priority. When they were born, we were making a little over $100k. Now we hover around $200k. It was a gradual build up of income. One is in college and the other is heading this fall. We were able to save enough for each to go to an out of state school or private school with scholarship if that is what they chose. Which is what they are doing. One costs around $42k a year and the other will cost around $45k a year. This includes R&B, books, transportation, fees as well as tuition. For various reasons, in state did not work for either child and we were happy that we could give them the option for a better fit without loans.

Everyone has their own circumstances and needs to figure out what works for their family and children. We did what worked for us. Both DH and I came from families where our parents also saved and allowed us to figure out where we would go and through a combination of things (parent savings, working, scholarships) each of us was able to graduate without loans. We think of our parents gift to us as a pay it forward kind of thing and thus made decisions to try to do the same for our children. We are grateful it worked out.

I'm the other $180K/kid PP and our profile is, and approach has been exactly the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm guessing saving $180K per kid was the result of some windfalls and smart investing. We're a classic doughnut hole family with no debt and a much more modest lifestyle than anyone we know, and we're lucky to have saved a fraction of that while still saving for retirement, etc.

It seems the wealthier families we know also have a lot of family assistance. Unfortunately, that is not the case here. And we're too risk averse to invest.

To those just joining us, this thread is another iteration of people justifying paying a lot for college and justifying not paying a lot for college.

Here in the doughnut hole, I'm grateful my kids have good state colleges to turn to, and time to figure out at what point paying a premium for education makes the most sense. For my first, undergrad is not that time!

We started saving before they were born. No windfall, no lucky investing. Just continuous saving and keeping it a priority. When they were born, we were making a little over $100k. Now we hover around $200k. It was a gradual build up of income. One is in college and the other is heading this fall. We were able to save enough for each to go to an out of state school or private school with scholarship if that is what they chose. Which is what they are doing. One costs around $42k a year and the other will cost around $45k a year. This includes R&B, books, transportation, fees as well as tuition. For various reasons, in state did not work for either child and we were happy that we could give them the option for a better fit without loans.

Everyone has their own circumstances and needs to figure out what works for their family and children. We did what worked for us. Both DH and I came from families where our parents also saved and allowed us to figure out where we would go and through a combination of things (parent savings, working, scholarships) each of us was able to graduate without loans. We think of our parents gift to us as a pay it forward kind of thing and thus made decisions to try to do the same for our children. We are grateful it worked out.

Is that $100k and the $200k each or household?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm guessing saving $180K per kid was the result of some windfalls and smart investing. We're a classic doughnut hole family with no debt and a much more modest lifestyle than anyone we know, and we're lucky to have saved a fraction of that while still saving for retirement, etc.

It seems the wealthier families we know also have a lot of family assistance. Unfortunately, that is not the case here. And we're too risk averse to invest.

To those just joining us, this thread is another iteration of people justifying paying a lot for college and justifying not paying a lot for college.

Here in the doughnut hole, I'm grateful my kids have good state colleges to turn to, and time to figure out at what point paying a premium for education makes the most sense. For my first, undergrad is not that time!

We started saving before they were born. No windfall, no lucky investing. Just continuous saving and keeping it a priority. When they were born, we were making a little over $100k. Now we hover around $200k. It was a gradual build up of income. One is in college and the other is heading this fall. We were able to save enough for each to go to an out of state school or private school with scholarship if that is what they chose. Which is what they are doing. One costs around $42k a year and the other will cost around $45k a year. This includes R&B, books, transportation, fees as well as tuition. For various reasons, in state did not work for either child and we were happy that we could give them the option for a better fit without loans.

Everyone has their own circumstances and needs to figure out what works for their family and children. We did what worked for us. Both DH and I came from families where our parents also saved and allowed us to figure out where we would go and through a combination of things (parent savings, working, scholarships) each of us was able to graduate without loans. We think of our parents gift to us as a pay it forward kind of thing and thus made decisions to try to do the same for our children. We are grateful it worked out.

Is that $100k and the $200k each or household?

Total HHI

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why did the prior posters have kids knowing they would be unable to pay $50-$100k a year per kid in college tuition? By sending the kid into the world with massive student loan debt, the parents have substantially increased the chance the kid will live in poverty.

Just to piss you off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a hard time believing that potential Ivy/Stanford admits are being counseled into UVa and UM due to cost. It does seem that earnings between about $150K and $230K are basically confiscated by the schools, because we put 3 kids through very expensive privates on a $120K income and received about 60% grant aid doing so. We also did a $220K cash-out refinancing of our mortgage to pay the bills.

Well, believe it. It is true.

Half of the Blair SMAC magnet goes to UMD-CP every year. Do you think none of those students are qualified to attend Ivies and the like? They go to Maryland because their parents are in the donut hole and cannot afford $70K/year X multiple kids, and because many of them receive a free ride at UMD.

This is us (but not from Blair). Kid is @ UMD on a full ride. 529 money will be used for med school.

Congrats on the full ride to UMD. Did he get into an elite school?

The half of the students going to College Park or VT or UVA from Blair or TJ are mostly not going to get into the Ivies+. Too many of their classmates with better scores and grades are already going to the elites and leave little room for them. Given the yields (and financial aid) at the elite schools, it is highly unlikely (but not unheard of) for a student to turn them down for a state school. I would not believe my neighbor claiming his VT bound CS student turned down Carnegie-Mellon and Harvard unless he has acceptance letters and then think he was dumber than he looks.

What do you mean? Are you saying no one CANNOT afford an Ivy education? You think they give EVERYONE full rides?

[Anonymous]

To answer OP's question, our DD chose a cheaper school with lots of merit aid. No need to buy the Mercedes when the Buick does the job just fine.

We also impressed on DD that w would pay only the cost in-state in VA, she need to fund the difference of anything higher.

Michelle Singletary approves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do people automatically write off OOS schools? Some are the same cost or possibly even a bit less than some VA state schools.

Which out of state school will cost less than your Virginia options? UVA (30K), Virginia Tech (26K). A quick comparison of some out of state schools for Virginia residents: Penn State (50K), Ohio Sate (44K) and Maryland (47K). Virginia has wonderful affordable options.

http://www.iup.edu/admissions/undergraduate/cost/tuition-reduction/

http://www.sru.edu/admissions/tuition-and-fees

https://www.frostburg.edu/ungrad/admiss/

http://www.ship.edu/admissions/tap/

http://www.salisbury.edu/about/costs.html

http://www.edinboro.edu/directory/offices-services/bursar/tuition-and-fees/

http://www.clarion.edu/tuition-and-financial-aid/tuition-and-fees/

https://www.bgsu.edu/bursar/tuition-and-fees.html#tuition

You really can't compare Edinboro, Slippery Rock, Clarion to UVA or VA Tech. Apples to oranges. The more apt comparison would be the Penn States, Pitts, Ohio States, etc. to the UVAs, VA Techs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do people automatically write off OOS schools? Some are the same cost or possibly even a bit less than some VA state schools.

Which out of state school will cost less than your Virginia options? UVA (30K), Virginia Tech (26K). A quick comparison of some out of state schools for Virginia residents: Penn State (50K), Ohio Sate (44K) and Maryland (47K). Virginia has wonderful affordable options.

http://www.iup.edu/admissions/undergraduate/cost/tuition-reduction/

http://www.sru.edu/admissions/tuition-and-fees

https://www.frostburg.edu/ungrad/admiss/

http://www.ship.edu/admissions/tap/

http://www.salisbury.edu/about/costs.html

http://www.edinboro.edu/directory/offices-services/bursar/tuition-and-fees/

http://www.clarion.edu/tuition-and-financial-aid/tuition-and-fees/

https://www.bgsu.edu/bursar/tuition-and-fees.html#tuition

You really can't compare Edinboro, Slippery Rock, Clarion to UVA or VA Tech. Apples to oranges. The more apt comparison would be the Penn States, Pitts, Ohio States, etc. to the UVAs, VA Techs.

I never meant for them to be comparisons to UVA or Tech. That as in response to the post that asked which OOS schools had tuition to in state. Those schools do. UVA and Tech were mentioned later and they are not the only VA state schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do people automatically write off OOS schools? Some are the same cost or possibly even a bit less than some VA state schools.

We live in DC, so no, we do not write off OOS schools.

[Anonymous]

High-earning spouse, only child, wait until late 30s to procreate. Honest but unhelpful answer.

The whole donut hole thing stinks but the answer is state school (and choose your state wisely) or merit aid, if (for whatever reason -- no judgment here) savings won't cover private school tuition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a hard time believing that potential Ivy/Stanford admits are being counseled into UVa and UM due to cost. It does seem that earnings between about $150K and $230K are basically confiscated by the schools, because we put 3 kids through very expensive privates on a $120K income and received about 60% grant aid doing so. We also did a $220K cash-out refinancing of our mortgage to pay the bills.

Well, believe it. It is true.

Half of the Blair SMAC magnet goes to UMD-CP every year. Do you think none of those students are qualified to attend Ivies and the like? They go to Maryland because their parents are in the donut hole and cannot afford $70K/year X multiple kids, and because many of them receive a free ride at UMD.

This is us (but not from Blair). Kid is @ UMD on a full ride. 529 money will be used for med school.

Congrats on the full ride to UMD. Did he get into an elite school?

The half of the students going to College Park or VT or UVA from Blair or TJ are mostly not going to get into the Ivies+. Too many of their classmates with better scores and grades are already going to the elites and leave little room for them. Given the yields (and financial aid) at the elite schools, it is highly unlikely (but not unheard of) for a student to turn them down for a state school. I would not believe my neighbor claiming his VT bound CS student turned down Carnegie-Mellon and Harvard unless he has acceptance letters and then think he was dumber than he looks.

Heck, I turned down CMU 25 years ago for a no-name school because we just flat out could not afford it even after the financial aid package. We had hoped for more, but it wasn't to be. The other school gave me enough to make it possible.

[Anonymous]

Doesn't anyone's kids on here go into the military? Almost half of the people I work with went to college on the GI Bill. College was relatively cheap when I attended, so going to college was an easy decision. But now it's so expensive that I'm starting to question if the return on investment is really worth it.

[Anonymous]

We will have about $150K saved for each kid by the time they start college. We saved about $2,000 a year each when they were little and we made about $200K HHI, increased to about $5000 a year (each) when the older one started elementary and our income was about $250K, and bumped it up to $10,000 a year each when they were both in public school and our income went up to about $300K. However, $150K works out to less than $40K a year which won't cover private college. Assuming we can continue to kick in what we are saving now, it's more like $50K a year, but still not enough. I assume we are looking at in-state -- we live in VA, so plenty of options -- but if either kid gets into a top SLAC or Ivy and wants to attend, we would take a home equity loan. We chose to live in a smaller house that would could finance with a 15-year mortgage and we will have it almost paid off by the time they start college, so lots of equity. It wouldn't be hard for us to borrow $100-200K against the house and then pay that off before retirement--once the kids are out of college we should have lots more disposable income--plus we could take the mortgage deduction for it. We wouldn't do that just to send them to a lower-ranked OOS school.