invited people over for a picnic and they actually said yes--feeling overwhelmed and inadequate

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So this is an old article but just came up on my FB feed. I found it be totally appropriate for this thread!

"Scruffy hospitality"

http://www.mnn.com/your-home/at-home/blogs/in-priase-scruffy-hospitality

I enjoyed this read. Especially the comments.

[Anonymous]

https://thecatholictable.com/2015/01/20/pinterest-lies-the-secret-to-successful-entertaining/

This completely changed my attitude about hosting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:https://thecatholictable.com/2015/01/20/pinterest-lies-the-secret-to-successful-entertaining/

This completely changed my attitude about hosting.

Yes! Thank you. Wonderful read.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless you are planning to serve chicken and cake ONLY, you will be fine. If you are serving only that, then you are definitely a poor host.

This.

OP when I'm reading through your posts, everything seems OK, but the menu if that is all you are serving. If that is all you can put together, do everyone a favor and order carryout.

Everyone is bringing a side. I'll do chicken, dessert (flag cake was a great idea!) , and sangria since that seems to be the most suggested idea!

You need more food. Even if everyone is bringing a side. Pasta salad. Greens. Rice. Fruit salad. Cole slaw. Appetizers. Have a few of the above.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless you are planning to serve chicken and cake ONLY, you will be fine. If you are serving only that, then you are definitely a poor host.

This.

OP when I'm reading through your posts, everything seems OK, but the menu if that is all you are serving. If that is all you can put together, do everyone a favor and order carryout.

Everyone is bringing a side. I'll do chicken, dessert (flag cake was a great idea!) , and sangria since that seems to be the most suggested idea!

You need more food. Even if everyone is bringing a side. Pasta salad. Greens. Rice. Fruit salad. Cole slaw. Appetizers. Have a few of the above.

Ok, I'll do fruit and greens. Trying to keep it super simple and Costco prepared, as I have two small babies at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

Here's some specific things I feel self conscious about:

Outside table only fits 4 chairs. We will therefore bring out our kitchen table and chairs. A little odd, but hoping I can pull it off as quirky and fun! (At least we can sit outside. Their houses, while bigger, have no outdoor space).

No matching wine glasses! Somehow ours all broke! Should I get a set at Target? Or just use mismatched ones from wineries?

Stop putting your friends down. So they have dirty houses and no outdoor space. How is that relevant? This is not a competition.

Ahhh there you are! Was waiting for some snark to show up, after 6 pages of a truly delightful convo.

I wasn't putting my friends down. I was explaining why I had been to their houses many times but never for a outdoor picnic.

[Anonymous]

You should have more than 1 main - not everyone will want chicken. At least throw some hot dogs on the grill.

You at least need to have appetizers set up even if people are bringing sides. Maybe a veggie tray, chips and guac/salsa, etc.

Buy stemless wine glasses from Target. I hate when people give me winery glasses.

Buy chinet paper plates - they're more durable.

[Anonymous]

Agree with the post that calls you out on how many times you neg your friends. Take a deep breath. Those little things that you keep pointing out in a effort to feel better about yourself actually make your mindset so much worse.

I realize I don't know you but I think you need a mantra. Try one of these or make up your own.

I am enough.
Hosting is an act of love.
My home has generous abundamce to offer.

[Anonymous]

Yep. I agree with the people that you are calling snarky. I think you did put them down to make yourself feel better about your situation. Unfortunately, I have this bad habit so I recognized it as soon as I read it not once but twice in the thread. Also, I agree with everyone that is saying to have a few more sides just in case, at least a green salad and perhaps some fresh cut fruit. I think you should also relax. I would only ever ask family to bring a dish, you on the other hand have requested your guests contribute to the meal. In any case, having done this you are obviously close enough to them that this is permissible, so don't sweat all of the other small stuff. I would probably be more horrified at that request than unmatching glasses and a yard of weeds. I want my friends to come and relax. Not have to cook and contribute to my event before they arrive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

Here's some specific things I feel self conscious about:

Outside table only fits 4 chairs. We will therefore bring out our kitchen table and chairs. A little odd, but hoping I can pull it off as quirky and fun! (At least we can sit outside. Their houses, while bigger, have no outdoor space).

No matching wine glasses! Somehow ours all broke! Should I get a set at Target? Or just use mismatched ones from wineries?

Stop putting your friends down. So they have dirty houses and no outdoor space. How is that relevant? This is not a competition.

Ahhh there you are! Was waiting for some snark to show up, after 6 pages of a truly delightful convo.

Because they are dirty and don't have adequate space? Hmmm. Okay

I wasn't putting my friends down. I was explaining why I had been to their houses many times but never for a outdoor picnic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

Here's some specific things I feel self conscious about:

Outside table only fits 4 chairs. We will therefore bring out our kitchen table and chairs. A little odd, but hoping I can pull it off as quirky and fun! (At least we can sit outside. Their houses, while bigger, have no outdoor space).

No matching wine glasses! Somehow ours all broke! Should I get a set at Target? Or just use mismatched ones from wineries?

Stop putting your friends down. So they have dirty houses and no outdoor space. How is that relevant? This is not a competition.

Ahhh there you are! Was waiting for some snark to show up, after 6 pages of a truly delightful convo.

Because they are dirty and don't have adequate space? Hmmm. Okay

I wasn't putting my friends down. I was explaining why I had been to their houses many times but never for a outdoor picnic.

Let's try this again.

Because they are dirty and don't have adequate space? Hmmm. Okay ....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should have more than 1 main - not everyone will want chicken. At least throw some hot dogs on the grill.

You at least need to have appetizers set up even if people are bringing sides. Maybe a veggie tray, chips and guac/salsa, etc.

Buy stemless wine glasses from Target. I hate when people give me winery glasses.

Buy chinet paper plates - they're more durable.

You sound fun.

[Anonymous]

Thanks so much everyone.

Now I'm worried I'm going to come off as trying too hard!

[Anonymous]

Update!

Picnic went well! I tried to be relaxed and have fun and I think everyone had a good time and no one cared about our wine glasses.

Room for improvement:
We set up an extra table but it became the "food" table and then everyone crowded around another table. So, I guess we should have set up ANOTHER time for food. I thought this would come off as too planned and fancy. But, it would have made sense.

I'm ashamed to admit that we did not have enough food. We had plenty of chicken, but we needed something else. So, PPs, you were right.

I ordered paper plates and utensils off Amazon and I'll NEVER do that again. They were super flimsy. I should have bought them in store so I could check the quality.

But all in all, it was great. Received texts last night thanking us for a fun party. So, yay!

[Anonymous]

live and learn, OP! Glad everyone had fun. Try again in a couple months. People were probably thrilled to do something different and not have to cook or clean up.