invited people over for a picnic and they actually said yes--feeling overwhelmed and inadequate
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Anonymous
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It's silly because these people are very close friends and I know they love us for us. This is the first time hosting a gathering with them, although we've been to their houses a million times. Yet, I'm feeling self conscious about our yard and table and grass, etc etc.
Their houses are FAR from perfect, if anything we are more clean.  It'll be 8 adults, 4 kids.
What makes you feel confident as a host? I know a smile and good attitude go a long way.  But what are your party tricks?
I know I have to just relax and get past this. But also, what can I get to make this backyard BBQ enjoyable...? On a budget. Cute paper plates at Target? We will just do chicken on the grill and a cake. Thanks for the help and boost of confidence. |
Anonymous
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I wouldn't do paper plates. Just use your normal plates. Put some fun music on in the background.
And 30 minutes before everyone comes I have a glass of wine to calm my nerves. |
Anonymous
| Buy some fresh flowers for your house the morning of. Then you will feel "fancy." |
Anonymous
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How old are your kids? I recently bought one of those mist-ers that you can attach to an umbrella or anything outside. Our kids loved it so much and our friends' kids loved it too... I think if the kids have fun and can play, everyone will feel like it was a great success.
Maybe make some sangria or some sort of fun drink for the adults? |
Anonymous
| are you trying to calm yourself or your guests? |
Anonymous
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Paper plates are hard for a BBQ because people pile them up and they don't hold the food without breaking.
Chicken on the grill - ok. Have sauces? Simple Green Salad and choice of bottled dressings - make or ask someone to bring it Watermelon - slice it up Potato Salad - make or buy or ask someone to bring it Corn - grill some. Have butter on the side Deviled Eggs - make some! To Chips and salsa and/or guacamole; potato chips Cake - OK Wine, beer, juice boxes, popsicles for the kids |
Anonymous
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Everyone is going to have an awesome time.
Here is my thought process when I am feeling like guests might judge my house/yard etc. harshly- if I were invited to someone's house, and it is in some way more humble than mine, would I think less of them? No! How would I feel if those people were self conscious about me possibly judging them/their digs? Awful! Should I mentally insult my friends by assuming that they are passing negative judgments about me? No! What if they ARE judging me? Then they're a**holes and I don't need to burden myself with what they think! |
Anonymous
| Definitely a fun adult drink and good music. Not sure why a PP recommended against paper plates, but as a guest I prefer them. |
Anonymous
Me! My guests are lovely people. I just put a lot of pressure on myself when hosting. Not sure why. |
Anonymous
Heavy duty plates are perfect (and they don't break). It's not a sit down dinner, easier to walk around. I would use real silverware, on other hand, and real glasses for adults. |
Anonymous
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OP here.
Here's some specific things I feel self conscious about: Outside table only fits 4 chairs. We will therefore bring out our kitchen table and chairs. A little odd, but hoping I can pull it off as quirky and fun! (At least we can sit outside. Their houses, while bigger, have no outdoor space). No matching wine glasses! Somehow ours all broke! Should I get a set at Target? Or just use mismatched ones from wineries? |
Anonymous
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OP I'm like you and rarely host because I am worried my food won't come out right and then everyone will grit their teeth and lie and say it's delicious.
(I'm not like you in that I don't care about the state of mess in the house; I've learned that parents don't care about this as 'they get it') Anyways, back to the food--I now order it. I've found it just reduces my stress level. I don't worry--first, it will be delicious. Second, if it's not, it's not MY cooking. LOL But we don't have to get to "second" because it's always good. And because I'm ordering, I have more of a variety than if I were to cook. Ok so something to think about--doing that, ordering out, or ordering out all but one dish you make yourself....until you get the hang of it and have had them over a few times, then you can step up and make the food yourself. It's stupid not to have friends over due to worry about judginess, especially when you know they won't be judgy. So I outsource because I *know* it's stupid, and the outsourcing of food is my trick to get past the anxiety and have them over. (Just because you know something is stupid doesn't mean you can just forget about it! You've got to work around it) Have fun, OP! |
Anonymous
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A fun drink is easy and makes things feel special. Just water in a nice pitcher with some cut-up fruit in it (lime slices, mint leaves, berries, etc.) could work. If your guests drink, sangria is nice, but I think it's good to have a different drink for kids and those who are pregnant, driving, etc.
Chips and salsa are super easy. Or potato chips and french onion dip might even be better because you can also put out some baby carrots and other cut-up veggies for people to dip. If it's hot out, put the dip container in a bowl with some ice to keep it cold. You might want to buy a box of veggie burgers or some portabello mushrooms to grill if anyone doesn't eat chicken. For dessert, I love those flag cakes where you bake a vanilla cake in a sheet pan and put whipped cream/cool whip and blueberries and sliced strawberries on it in the design of the flag. If you can offer something chocolate too (brownies? get a mix or buy some pre-made) that's a nice complement. If someone brings food or wine or flowers, put them out--it doesn't really matter if it matches your meal plan. People are going to be happy to have something to do, to not have to cook and clean themselves, and to hang out with you! They are not expecting Martha Stewart. |
Anonymous
| Sturdy paper plates are fine. We provide extra so people can double them up if they want to. Just make sure it had a good rim so food doesn't spill over. |
Anonymous
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Definitely use paper plates!
When I host, I like to serve as much cold stuff as possible, and have it all set up before guests arrive, so I can actually host and not be busy in the kitchen. Have a few small things to keep kids occupied: squirt bottles, bubbles, sidewalk chalk... Put a cooler with drinks outside. We do not have a fancy yard, but like hosting get-togethers like this. |