Can I just serve cake at a B'day party or do I have to serve a meal?

[Anonymous]

Who the heck invites kids to a birthday party and only serves cake? No matter tha age, but especially elementary age kids? Of my kids is invited to a party, I expect they will be fed something in addition to cake. Maybe sign up for etiquette school course.

[Anonymous]

I feel like this questions been asked already on here

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Cake only is totally fine for any party completely between 1 and 5:30. Just mention it on the invite. Many PPs are nuts. I would say that I'd have a serving or two of cake alternative handy (pack of goldfish or an apple, nothing substantial) if you know of any allergies/diabetics/etc (or even if you don't know that there aren't), since you won't have anything else.

I wouldn't worry about providing an alternate. Parents whose kids have special diets will be used to checking on the food situation and may talk to you about bringing their own treat. If you try to adlib, you may end up stumbling into another situation. Cake at a birthday party should hardly come as a surprise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My child is 6 and I have only been to ONE party where there was no "real food", just snacks and cake. It was at 1.30 and luckily my kid has eaten, but still! It was also a joint party for siblings.
Please mention on the invite explicitly that you won't be serving food. I would have saved on gifts if I knew and brought some cute inexpensive stuff. I brought nice gifts for both birthday kids. Felt I was lured into some gift grab thing (it was also at a playground, not a venue).

You were lured? What a strange way of looking at it. Did the invitation not state that it was at a playground?

Also, you gauge the amount you should spend on gifts based on venue and type of food served? That's so bizarre!

Yes it did but at least I expected some food!
And yes I have a budget, since it was a joint party I went beyond that budget, even though one of the kids is not even my child's friend, she is a sib who is tagged along and trying to "participate" in her brother's games with his friends.
I was just annoyed by the whole setup. Usually I just bring a gift within my budget and don't overthink this.

[Anonymous]

PP here - and yes had she mentioned it on the invite I would plan accordingly and it would not have been an issue!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My child is 6 and I have only been to ONE party where there was no "real food", just snacks and cake. It was at 1.30 and luckily my kid has eaten, but still! It was also a joint party for siblings.
Please mention on the invite explicitly that you won't be serving food. I would have saved on gifts if I knew and brought some cute inexpensive stuff. I brought nice gifts for both birthday kids. Felt I was lured into some gift grab thing (it was also at a playground, not a venue).

You were lured? What a strange way of looking at it. Did the invitation not state that it was at a playground?

Also, you gauge the amount you should spend on gifts based on venue and type of food served? That's so bizarre!

Yes it did but at least I expected some food!
And yes I have a budget, since it was a joint party I went beyond that budget, even though one of the kids is not even my child's friend, she is a sib who is tagged along and trying to "participate" in her brother's games with his friends.
I was just annoyed by the whole setup. Usually I just bring a gift within my budget and don't overthink this.

I also bring a gift within my budget, regardless of venue or what they're serving. Just saying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cake only is totally fine for any party completely between 1 and 5:30. Just mention it on the invite. Many PPs are nuts. I would say that I'd have a serving or two of cake alternative handy (pack of goldfish or an apple, nothing substantial) if you know of any allergies/diabetics/etc (or even if you don't know that there aren't), since you won't have anything else.

I wouldn't worry about providing an alternate. Parents whose kids have special diets will be used to checking on the food situation and may talk to you about bringing their own treat. If you try to adlib, you may end up stumbling into another situation. Cake at a birthday party should hardly come as a surprise.

Right but usually there is *something* else for non-cake eaters. If you will have nothing else, I'd have a couple of alternates just in case. Venue unlikely to freak out about 2 packs of goldfish if you explain the kids have allergies or whatever.

[Anonymous]

I have been to and seen birthday parties at the park for kids with ton of food served. OP, you are cheap as hell and grabby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My child is 6 and I have only been to ONE party where there was no "real food", just snacks and cake. It was at 1.30 and luckily my kid has eaten, but still! It was also a joint party for siblings.
Please mention on the invite explicitly that you won't be serving food. I would have saved on gifts if I knew and brought some cute inexpensive stuff. I brought nice gifts for both birthday kids. Felt I was lured into some gift grab thing (it was also at a playground, not a venue).

You were lured? What a strange way of looking at it. Did the invitation not state that it was at a playground?

Also, you gauge the amount you should spend on gifts based on venue and type of food served? That's so bizarre!

Yes it did but at least I expected some food!
And yes I have a budget, since it was a joint party I went beyond that budget, even though one of the kids is not even my child's friend, she is a sib who is tagged along and trying to "participate" in her brother's games with his friends.
I was just annoyed by the whole setup. Usually I just bring a gift within my budget and don't overthink this.

YOU decided to go over your budget. I highly doubt the invitation demanded a minimum gift value. Nor do I think it promised that dinner would be served. They were apparently up-front that it was a sibling party (seeing as you bought gifts for both kids) and that it was at a playground (since you made it to the party). YOU decided to accept the invitation to the sibling party, and to give a "nice" gift to both kids. I doubt a "nice" gift for the sibling was required. You probably could have brought a token gift and been just fine. For that matter, you could have bought something on sale for both kids.

If you require quid pro quo for your gift, then:

A. Don't call it a gift (something given without expectation), call it a trade.

B. Don't ASSUME your artificial requirements will be met. If something is that important to you, ASK.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have been to and seen birthday parties at the park for kids with ton of food served. OP, you are cheap as hell and grabby.

The OP isn't having her party at a park, but at a venue that prohibits outside food. I imagine she could do a park party with lots of food cheaper than she is doing her laser tag/bounce party. She is giving the kids an experience much more exciting than a standard playground.

Moreover, it's winter. Would you really prefer to have an outdoors smorgasbord picnic in January or February? I imagine the number of invitees who declined that party would make it really cheap.

She's giving the kids an exciting adventure, a chance to play with their friends, and cake. It sounds like a great time for the kids. While kids always welcome sugar, I suspect they would rather play than eat anyway.

[Anonymous]

For all of the parents who are accusing OP of being cheap, and maybe not justified of receiving your gifts, I have a question: Why do you think a parent throws a child a party?

We gave our children the choice of whether they wanted gifts from us, or whether their party was going to be their main gift from us and they would just receive small tokens from us to unwrap. Those parties varied in type and price range (some were even pizza parties), but at all of the parties (although my children received some nice gifts), the people buying the gifts did not know my kids like I know my kids. (There were also presents over the years that raised a few questions - for example the Catholic storybook when we aren't Catholic.) If I (or my kids) had really cared about presents we would have used the party money to buy things they really wanted. Instead they felt the best present they could have is to have special time with their friends. If they got fun toys from their friends, that was an extra, but even if they didn't care for the toy they appreciated having their friend think enough of them to pick out a gift and come share their birthday with them.

For similar reasons they were always excited to go to a party, regardless of venue or menu. It was a chance to have fun with their friends. I did, however, instruct them on party etiquette as a guest which included "please", "thank you" and being gracious (if you don't like an activity or the food being served, you don't raise a fuss. The purpose of the party isn't to feed you - if you're still hungry, I'll feed you after the party). Obviously, if the party is at mealtime, the purpose of the party may be to feed them, but again, if they're too picky to eat the food served, they can smile and make-do until the party is over.

[Anonymous]

I cannot begin to count the number of pizzas and other party foods I have purchased for my kids' parties that went uneaten. Most kids are too amped up to care about eating and eat half of a slice and leave the rest. I have "fed" them but they are going home hungry once the adrenaline wears off. I have decided I'm going to start serving only cake. Thanks, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I cannot begin to count the number of pizzas and other party foods I have purchased for my kids' parties that went uneaten. Most kids are too amped up to care about eating and eat half of a slice and leave the rest. I have "fed" them but they are going home hungry once the adrenaline wears off. I have decided I'm going to start serving only cake. Thanks, OP.

Its your parties. At ours, I listed to people saying we'd have it all left over and the majority of it was eaten. Given the venue, I left the rest for the staff but felt terrible we don't have as much as I planned. Most parties we have been to have full meals and most of it gets eaten.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been to and seen birthday parties at the park for kids with ton of food served. OP, you are cheap as hell and grabby.

The OP isn't having her party at a park, but at a venue that prohibits outside food. I imagine she could do a park party with lots of food cheaper than she is doing her laser tag/bounce party. She is giving the kids an experience much more exciting than a standard playground.

Moreover, it's winter. Would you really prefer to have an outdoors smorgasbord picnic in January or February? I imagine the number of invitees who declined that party would make it really cheap.

She's giving the kids an exciting adventure, a chance to play with their friends, and cake. It sounds like a great time for the kids. While kids always welcome sugar, I suspect they would rather play than eat anyway.

If she is serving cake at 5, I'd hope she offers each kid a slice of pizza and water. Once slice of pizza is not that much in cost. My kid doesn't care where a party is. A party is a party to him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At 3:30 no way. Your party will be going on at 5 still and supper zone begins then. Move it earlier or feed them something more.

Parents can plan accordingly then.

It's really shocking to me that so many kids past the infant stage of life have to be fed on the dot and constantly snacking or they lose control.

It must be a Gen X parenting thing.

NP here.
Actually, I can't plan if I don't know there won't be food. And it's not that they need to eat constantly. We went to a 3:30pm party with only cake served at 5. This isn't the norm so I didn't consider that there would be no other food. Kids were starving after running around during the party and wanted extra cake. We were 45 minutes from home. And limited food options nearby. I thought it was so rude of the hosts , who were simultaneously making their own dinner plans while serving cake. Gee, if you're hungry don't you think your party guests are too?
Move it 2-4pm and you'll be fine op.

There were no restaurants of any kind that you could stop at or drive thru on a 45 minute drive home? How is it rude for the hosts to discuss their dinner plans for after the party? If they had brought food in, only for themselves and not the guests, that would be rude. Learn not to expect for your kids to be fed a meal for a party that ends at 5 or 5:30. Most times, not all kids in the family are invited to a party so if you haven't encountered that yet, you will soon, and you'll need to feed your other child(ren) anyway.

This. Every post I have seen on DCUM seems to say that siblings are not invited to these kinds of parties. But all of a sudden, all of the kids in the family are either eating or not eating at this party? And mom doesn't have to cook dinner if there is pizza there?