How to rehome mature cat that either needs a new home or gets the needle?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP are you still around? We adopted a 'mature' cat from a friend who had two and the second cat suddenly started battling the first. You're asking how to rehome:
--tell all your friends, colleagues, etc. that the cat has a peeing issue, unknown cause, and you want to find a new home, with the idea that the cat may have to be put down.
--Put on a note on a community bulletin board (my office has an online one, my synagog has one on a wall)
--talk to an assisted living facility, who might want an older, calmer cat
--contact some local shelters to find out if they'll take her

You might try to diagnosis this a bit - an anxious cat in a noisy, busy house w/ four kids and an anxious spouse sounds like a cause to me. A calm, quiet house might stop the cat from peeing outside the box.

I'm sorry, but that's crummy. Someone will probably step forward to take the cat completely out of guilt -- i.e., OP is saying "someone has to take my cat or I'm killing her."

OP and her husband aren't winning any favor with me. OP things her husband has done her a favor for putting up with the cat for so long, but it sounds like OP had the cat BEFORE the husband was in the picture. Why does the cat get the boot? The husband knew you had a pet, and he should have assumed from the age of the cat at the time of meeting that the cat would be around for a while. I have little sympathy for him.

Also, the poor cat went from being with OP to being with OP, a husband who hates said cat, and 4 children. That's a lot of change and stress for a cat. Most litter box issues originate because of drastic changes or stressors.

I had a cat who developed litter box issues after a health issue gave him a negative association with the box. I had a really fantastic vet who gave me some solid advice. We put him on anti-anxiety medication. And then I put him in a small bathroom (it can be any small space) with a clean litter box. I spent some time in there petting him every day. It was difficult because he still meowed. But after a few days, he started using the box. Eventually, I expanded the area of access he had. The idea is sort of like crate training in order to reestablish litter box habits. I also think the anti-anxiety meds helped a lot.

OP, have you tried putting your cat on anti-anxiety meds (not the feliway stuff at petsmart, but an actual prescription from the vet for pills)? It made a huge difference and the prescription was relatively inexpensive.

[Anonymous]

Op, why don't you just put the litter box next to where the cat sleeps? Get a fancy no-scent one if needed. You would kill your cat instead of implementing an obvious solution? WTF?

[Anonymous]

PP, what anti-anxiety med did you give your cat? Any side effects?

[Anonymous]

OP here. Some of you are just nuts. I am not a "kitty mommy". I am a pet owner. Yes, cat was with me for about 3 years before I married. Husband willingly took in cat as part of the deal. Yes, I had four kids after the cat was there first. Am I supposed to not have children so the cat can be more comfortable? No. It's a cat. I love animals but there is relative value: in a fire, I save the human and wish the cat my best. Is it worth serious damage to my marriage to ensure my anxious, pissing, puking, geriatric cat squeezes every last nanosecond out of her life expectancy? Nope. Would I put the cat down (i.e., kill) if the choice was stable marriage versus rehoming geriatric scaredy-piss-cat? Yes, I would.

All that being said: she hasn't peed for a week or so now, so the death sentence in on hold. Wish her a happy and controlled bladder so it stays this way. I do believe she's getting kitty senile (mildly) and/or has pain from climbing, as that seems to be what's behind the pee issues (we moved what I'd consider to be extremely minor obstacles - like, a few inches high threshold to climb over on way to box - and all has been better). IF she resumes peeing all over and IF we can fix it with a basement litter box situation and IF it appears to be mobility or senility related, she'll get a big hug and a big shot. Apparently I am cruel and heartless but I guess I can live with that.

[Anonymous]

you've sold your kids the idea of "sooner rather than later" with the promise of a new puppy?

Please don't get a puppy. That's just a terrible idea. You should be pet-free.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:you've sold your kids the idea of "sooner rather than later" with the promise of a new puppy?

Please don't get a puppy. That's just a terrible idea. You should be pet-free.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Some of you are just nuts. I am not a "kitty mommy". I am a pet owner. Yes, cat was with me for about 3 years before I married. Husband willingly took in cat as part of the deal. Yes, I had four kids after the cat was there first. Am I supposed to not have children so the cat can be more comfortable? No. It's a cat. I love animals but there is relative value: in a fire, I save the human and wish the cat my best. Is it worth serious damage to my marriage to ensure my anxious, pissing, puking, geriatric cat squeezes every last nanosecond out of her life expectancy? Nope. Would I put the cat down (i.e., kill) if the choice was stable marriage versus rehoming geriatric scaredy-piss-cat? Yes, I would.

All that being said: she hasn't peed for a week or so now, so the death sentence in on hold. Wish her a happy and controlled bladder so it stays this way. I do believe she's getting kitty senile (mildly) and/or has pain from climbing, as that seems to be what's behind the pee issues (we moved what I'd consider to be extremely minor obstacles - like, a few inches high threshold to climb over on way to box - and all has been better). IF she resumes peeing all over and IF we can fix it with a basement litter box situation and IF it appears to be mobility or senility related, she'll get a big hug and a big shot. Apparently I am cruel and heartless but I guess I can live with that.

I like you OP. I wish you and your family and your cat the best!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:you've sold your kids the idea of "sooner rather than later" with the promise of a new puppy?

Please don't get a puppy. That's just a terrible idea. You should be pet-free.

No, a puppy hasn't been offered up to make them feel better about the potential loss of the cat. The puppy discussion started a good while before the recent major cat issues, and I told the kids that we couldn't get a puppy unless everyone in the house would be comfortable, and that included the cat. The kids know the cat has a life expectancy. They really want a puppy (like most kids), so now they are both very loving and kind to the cat but also sort of okay with the idea that someday she will expire.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Some of you are just nuts. I am not a "kitty mommy". I am a pet owner. Yes, cat was with me for about 3 years before I married. Husband willingly took in cat as part of the deal. Yes, I had four kids after the cat was there first. Am I supposed to not have children so the cat can be more comfortable? No. It's a cat. I love animals but there is relative value: in a fire, I save the human and wish the cat my best. Is it worth serious damage to my marriage to ensure my anxious, pissing, puking, geriatric cat squeezes every last nanosecond out of her life expectancy? Nope. Would I put the cat down (i.e., kill) if the choice was stable marriage versus rehoming geriatric scaredy-piss-cat? Yes, I would.

All that being said: she hasn't peed for a week or so now, so the death sentence in on hold. Wish her a happy and controlled bladder so it stays this way. I do believe she's getting kitty senile (mildly) and/or has pain from climbing, as that seems to be what's behind the pee issues (we moved what I'd consider to be extremely minor obstacles - like, a few inches high threshold to climb over on way to box - and all has been better). IF she resumes peeing all over and IF we can fix it with a basement litter box situation and IF it appears to be mobility or senility related, she'll get a big hug and a big shot. Apparently I am cruel and heartless but I guess I can live with that.

I like you OP. I wish you and your family and your cat the best!

You *like* OP based on this?

The people on this forum never, ever, ever cease to shock me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:you've sold your kids the idea of "sooner rather than later" with the promise of a new puppy?

Please don't get a puppy. That's just a terrible idea. You should be pet-free.

No, a puppy hasn't been offered up to make them feel better about the potential loss of the cat. The puppy discussion started a good while before the recent major cat issues, and I told the kids that we couldn't get a puppy unless everyone in the house would be comfortable, and that included the cat. The kids know the cat has a life expectancy. They really want a puppy (like most kids), so now they are both very loving and kind to the cat but also sort of okay with the idea that someday she will expire.

I think you should wait until your husband is gone to get any more pets. If ever.

Foster, if you need animals in your life.

Pets are a lifetime commitment. Not an until it's convenient commitment.

And let me be clear: I am not opposed to euthanasia when that becomes necessary. And I think that "becomes necessary" isn't limited to, the cat is dying of cancer today. But your language and reasoning in talking about this cat is horrible. It just is OP. I've been one of the people who's tried to make suggestions for you - I suggested you reach out to the cat behaviorists, and said you could also contact cat rescue groups with the offer of a big donation, if you preferred that route.

But I just cannot imagine talking about my pets the way you are talking about yours here. As if you don't have a shred of feeling for this animal. It's a kind of coldness that chills my blood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:you've sold your kids the idea of "sooner rather than later" with the promise of a new puppy?

Please don't get a puppy. That's just a terrible idea. You should be pet-free.

No, a puppy hasn't been offered up to make them feel better about the potential loss of the cat. The puppy discussion started a good while before the recent major cat issues, and I told the kids that we couldn't get a puppy unless everyone in the house would be comfortable, and that included the cat. The kids know the cat has a life expectancy. They really want a puppy (like most kids), so now they are both very loving and kind to the cat but also sort of okay with the idea that someday she will expire.

I think you should wait until your husband is gone to get any more pets. If ever.

Foster, if you need animals in your life.

Pets are a lifetime commitment. Not an until it's convenient commitment.

And let me be clear: I am not opposed to euthanasia when that becomes necessary. And I think that "becomes necessary" isn't limited to, the cat is dying of cancer today. But your language and reasoning in talking about this cat is horrible. It just is OP. I've been one of the people who's tried to make suggestions for you - I suggested you reach out to the cat behaviorists, and said you could also contact cat rescue groups with the offer of a big donation, if you preferred that route.

But I just cannot imagine talking about my pets the way you are talking about yours here. As if you don't have a shred of feeling for this animal. It's a kind of coldness that chills my blood.

The "pet lovers" say this so much it's like they know how ridiculous a concept it really is and are trying ot convince themselves/others of it.

To some pets may be a lifelong commitment. But legally pets are property. They have some rights, but the right to the same owner for their entire life is not among them. Would you tell the Michael Vicks of the world their pet is a lifelong commitment? if it's OK to rehome or even euthanize clearly abused pets to improve their Q of L/end their pain, why isn't it OK to rehome or euthanize pets like OPs?

as for those of you judging OP's language, you are forgetting a basic rule of internet communication: everyone uses language differently and you have very little access to what someone else means by a given string of words. Why would you judge OP by a single tongue in cheek phrase in her subject line instead of what she's said in her dozens of passionate posts that clarify her position further? Where she's made colear she's done right by this cat for over a decade and the humans in her life (also animals byt the way, and ones to whom she actually HAS made a lifelong, legally binding commitment) need something to change?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
The "pet lovers" say this so much it's like they know how ridiculous a concept it really is and are trying ot convince themselves/others of it.

To some pets may be a lifelong commitment. But legally pets are property. They have some rights, but the right to the same owner for their entire life is not among them. Would you tell the Michael Vicks of the world their pet is a lifelong commitment? if it's OK to rehome or even euthanize clearly abused pets to improve their Q of L/end their pain, why isn't it OK to rehome or euthanize pets like OPs?

as for those of you judging OP's language, you are forgetting a basic rule of internet communication: everyone uses language differently and you have very little access to what someone else means by a given string of words. Why would you judge OP by a single tongue in cheek phrase in her subject line instead of what she's said in her dozens of passionate posts that clarify her position further? Where she's made colear she's done right by this cat for over a decade and the humans in her life (also animals byt the way, and ones to whom she actually HAS made a lifelong, legally binding commitment) need something to change?

Yes, this. A cat that is so stressed it can't make it to the litter box is not enjoying a good quality of life, and a 13-year-old cat has had a good run. I'm glad the cat seems to be doing better, but OP does not need to live in filth or jeopardize her marriage to accommodate the cat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
The "pet lovers" say this so much it's like they know how ridiculous a concept it really is and are trying ot convince themselves/others of it.

To some pets may be a lifelong commitment. But legally pets are property. They have some rights, but the right to the same owner for their entire life is not among them. Would you tell the Michael Vicks of the world their pet is a lifelong commitment? if it's OK to rehome or even euthanize clearly abused pets to improve their Q of L/end their pain, why isn't it OK to rehome or euthanize pets like OPs?

as for those of you judging OP's language, you are forgetting a basic rule of internet communication: everyone uses language differently and you have very little access to what someone else means by a given string of words. Why would you judge OP by a single tongue in cheek phrase in her subject line instead of what she's said in her dozens of passionate posts that clarify her position further? Where she's made colear she's done right by this cat for over a decade and the humans in her life (also animals byt the way, and ones to whom she actually HAS made a lifelong, legally binding commitment) need something to change?

Yes, this. A cat that is so stressed it can't make it to the litter box is not enjoying a good quality of life, and a 13-year-old cat has had a good run. I'm glad the cat seems to be doing better, but OP does not need to live in filth or jeopardize her marriage to accommodate the cat.

No one said she did. Lots of us tried to give her alternatives. Including behaviorists, no kill rescue groups, and at-home euthanasia.

She still shouldn't get another pet.

[Anonymous]

You'll have the dog until it's an inconvenience. Don't .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You'll have the dog until it's an inconvenience. Don't .

+1 What if the dog has accidents in the house?