September 6 birthday girl - Early Entrance to K? WWYD?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:]Mom insisted on sending very bright Sept bday boy against the advice of Preschool teacher. K teacher also recommend another year in K, but mom refused as he had excellent academics. He was a GT kid and tested into old GT center. Mediocre performance in high school. College drop out.
This kid is extremely bright. He is a good kid—not in trouble. I can’t help but wonder what another year would have done for him. We will never know. He was socially immature, though.

Correct. Just as we'll never know what would have happened if my mother hadn't insisted on sending me to school early against the advice of the principal. (Quick summary of the results of my mother's decision: things turned out fine.) If we only made decisions with 100% certainty about the future, we would never make any decisions.

NP. I love that quote. If I could see 100% into the future that would make my life so much easier in some aspects. I think you need to think of the decision as being fluid. If you move ahead now, you can at some point switch schools and have him repeat a grade or defer college a year. The one thing I always think of with fate is that my MIL sent DH to school "early". I think as a November birthday she had to do some extra paperwork for him to start that year. He did well in school and was a decent athlete. My mom had the chance to skip me in K because I knew the academics cold but she said I was having so much fun. If my mom had skipped me or my MIL started my DH on time we never would have met. It was one of those my college friend from college A had a high school friend that went to college B that had a post college roommate that went to high school with my husband's college friend from college C. We all had to have the same high school graduation for this to work!

So fate aside, I think so much of it emotionally is what stability/security you provide for your kids. If the peer group is terrible for your kid you may need to look into activities or be more open to doing things with families of the kids your child gets along with or possibly switching schools. That advice applies if your kid is on time, early, or late entrance to school. I was terribly awkward socially and that would have been the case even if I was a year older. For me, feeling comfortable around a group of people, understanding how to handle conflict, and not feeling so set apart by doing well in school and being a rule follower were really the key. I'm happy now and feel comfortable in my own skin but it took a long time to get there and constantly changing schools was without having any life outside of school was not good for my personality type. There is no shame as a parent in having to do more if your kid needs extra assistance. I love to find real life examples and I remember reading how the duchess Kate changed middle schools due to bullying. Not that the new school wasn't without its issues but I really believe coming into her own and gaining confidence and having a core group of friends made a difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:BTDT, did early entrance, kid is in third grade, it would have been a disaster to have waited another year.

If she's ready, you should send her.

If you haven't seen this article yet, you might find it interesting:

http://www.newyorker.com/tech/elements/youngest-kid-smartest-kid

I find this article only semi-persuasive. I do think younger kids can do better academically for the reasons outlined in the article - older peers, having to fight to keep up. But I also think, when I look at academically superlative kids, now grown up, who were on the very young side of their class (my husband, father, school friends, acquaintances), that there can be psychological consequences that go along with always being the youngest, alwasy having to prove oneself. I'm sure many kids who are young for the grade don't experience this, but it's something this article doesn't touch on. Test scores are not everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

BTDT and now early entrance DD is in the high school. SHe emotionally fits better in 8th grade. I regret pushing her ahead.

Your experience is exactly what we would like to hear, someone's experience of EEK in high school. Could you elaborate or provide examples?

It's difficult when people point to high school as the reason not to do early entrance, when DC is only 4.

But that's the issue. The social differences don't become obvious until late elementary. You can't switch her back then,

There are two choices:

1. Send the child based on what you know now (namely that the child is ready), and deal with potential future problems in the future, if they arise.
2. Disregard what you know now (namely that the child is ready), on grounds that potential future problems may (or may not) arise in the future.

I sent my child when my child was ready.

+1. And there is no formula that works for all. It really is based on the individual child. Ours was young and did well both socially and academically all the way through HS.

[Anonymous]

I was a bright four-year-old who was put ahead (born after the cutoff, tested easily ahead, very early reader, parents worried I'd be bored, socially just fine at the time). It was fine academically; I excelled and went to an excellent college. However, it was very difficult socially and emotionally through MS and HS. I was just too young. My younger sister who was as bright, and also behind the cutoff, was not put ahead because we'd moved by then and it wasn't an option. She also excelled academically, was no more bored than I was with school, also went to an excellent college, but had a much easier time socially and emotionally.

Maybe you'll get a kid who knows how to "act old" and won't struggle socially. But I didn't know how to act old, and it was very difficult. My parents say now they wish they had not sent me ahead and I agree with them.

In any case, until ADHD diagnoses stop being correlated so strongly with being one of the youngest in the class, I wouldn't do it. Obviously something is screwed up in our educational system for that to be the case, but unfortunately I can't fix it with my kids.