why are so many against meds for ADHD

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is not a black and white issue and I deeply resent those parents who make blanket statements condemning parents who medicate (not "drug") their children. Every parent must do a cost-benefit analysis for her own child and make the best decision possible in the moment based on the wide array of conflicting information that is out there. My child is 12 and has been on meds since he was 8. Yes, I am aware of the potential future side effects (he has no noticeable side effects currently.) I weighed these potential unknown side effects against his current SUFFERING-- yes I use that word because that is the right word. My child was in pain -- deep emotional distress. He was drowning before my eyes. I could see where he would go without my intervention. He would continue to spiral downward. I read the data about kids with untreated ADHD, and the statistics regarding depression, drug abuse, car accidents and suicide. I weighed those potential outcomes alongside the the potential negative outcomes. I tried other things; nothing worked. I tried the meds. They worked. His weight and his sleep were not affected. His life became immeasurably better. So we continued to medicate AND provide all those other supports people like to yammer on about as if they are some kind of miracle cure (for most kids they are not -- they work well in complement to the meds.) All of this considered, this is the best course for him based on the information available to me right now.

All I can say is a big go fuck yourself to anyone who dares to suggest that my husband and I, as parents, are doing this to get his GPA from a 3.3. to a 3.9 or whatever. This is so insulting. I don't give a flying fuck about my kid's GPA. I care about his emotional health. I care that he can function day to day and feel like a normal human being who can live in society and carry on in a somewhat competent manner. I'm tired of people having an opinion about what my thoughts and motivations are as a parent; I'm tired of people assuming I am lazy or just want a quick fix. If you knew how many doctors appointments there have been, how many late nights researching, agonizing, discussing, how many conversations I've had with parents, teachers, and on and on and on it took before I made this very carefully considered decision. You people should be ashamed of yourself. Imagine your child coming home and rolling into a ball on the floor and weeping and weeping because he feels like a giant piece of crap because nothing in his life works or make sense, and think what you as a mother would do to lift that burden from your child if you could. I would literally cut off my right arm if it meant my child could function without medication. It will kill me if it turns out 20 years from now that he has some horrible condition caused by the medication. You don't think I live with that worry every day? But if you have a bucket of water and your house starts burning down right before your very eyes, you throw the water on the fire and worry about what you'll drink at some later time.

Rant over. Carry on.

People can be very insensitive when they are trying to justify their own decisions. However, the judging goes both ways - there have been some rude comments in this thread claiming that those that don’t medicate are making their children suffer. I think all of us feel the need to justify the choices we have made for our children but we need to do it in a way that is respectful of others. Every child is different and we cannot possibly put ourselves in another’s place. There are no simple answers! I guarantee you though that for every time you feel that you’ve been judged for choosing mediation for your child, a parent who has made a different decision is feeling judged as well. It definitely goes both ways.

This is the SN forum. We are all doing the best we can with our own children and their own individual circumstances. Let’s try to 1) not be judgmental of choices that are different than our own and 2) try not to jump into defensive/attack mode if someone else shares that they have made different choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I would literally cut off my right arm if it meant my child could function without medication.

My kid functions without medication. He has an A average, despite having a diagnosis of ADHD, dyslexia, and dysgraphia. He is impulsive and inattentive and hyper-focused on many things that aren't the RIGHT things. It is frustrating and challenging to deal with as a parent. Despite that, we are carrying on without meds, because he does okay without them and because they can side effects and long term benefits. We work hard on behavioral interventions.
I resent the fuck out of parents who want to blast me for "making my kid suffer" because we don't use medications. I'm tired of people assuming that I'm doing it for my own ego gratification and "santimommy" points. We worked hard to make this decision and talked to lots of people before making it. People who want to talk that shit can go fuck themselves. Just because your family couldn't do without meds doesn't mean that my kid can't do without meds. Just because you chose meds doesn't mean that everyone should chose meds.

If you knew how many doctors appointments there have been, how many late nights researching, agonizing, discussing, how many conversations I've had with parents, teachers, and on and on and on it took before I made this very carefully considered decision.

Me, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I would literally cut off my right arm if it meant my child could function without medication.

My kid functions without medication. He has an A average, despite having a diagnosis of ADHD, dyslexia, and dysgraphia. He is impulsive and inattentive and hyper-focused on many things that aren't the RIGHT things. It is frustrating and challenging to deal with as a parent. Despite that, we are carrying on without meds, because he does okay without them and because they can side effects and long term benefits. We work hard on behavioral interventions.
I resent the fuck out of parents who want to blast me for "making my kid suffer" because we don't use medications. I'm tired of people assuming that I'm doing it for my own ego gratification and "santimommy" points. We worked hard to make this decision and talked to lots of people before making it. People who want to talk that shit can go fuck themselves. Just because your family couldn't do without meds doesn't mean that my kid can't do without meds. Just because you chose meds doesn't mean that everyone should chose meds.

If you knew how many doctors appointments there have been, how many late nights researching, agonizing, discussing, how many conversations I've had with parents, teachers, and on and on and on it took before I made this very carefully considered decision.

Me, too.

Guarantee if my child could function at this level without meds and with the behavioral and therapeutic interventions only (which we do anyway even with meds OF COURSE), he wouldn't be on meds either. Severe. Moderate. Mild. Categories that influence decisions.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the person who said the judging goes both ways. Besides the examples others have mentioned, saying it's "ridiculous" to be concerned about long term effects of medication is pretty judgmental. There are plenty of drugs on the market that it took many years to find out just how detrimental they can be. Yes, it's not black and white, but ridiculous to be concerned? No, not at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is not a black and white issue and I deeply resent those parents who make blanket statements condemning parents who medicate (not "drug") their children. Every parent must do a cost-benefit analysis for her own child and make the best decision possible in the moment based on the wide array of conflicting information that is out there. My child is 12 and has been on meds since he was 8. Yes, I am aware of the potential future side effects (he has no noticeable side effects currently.) I weighed these potential unknown side effects against his current SUFFERING-- yes I use that word because that is the right word. My child was in pain -- deep emotional distress. He was drowning before my eyes. I could see where he would go without my intervention. He would continue to spiral downward. I read the data about kids with untreated ADHD, and the statistics regarding depression, drug abuse, car accidents and suicide. I weighed those potential outcomes alongside the the potential negative outcomes. I tried other things; nothing worked. I tried the meds. They worked. His weight and his sleep were not affected. His life became immeasurably better. So we continued to medicate AND provide all those other supports people like to yammer on about as if they are some kind of miracle cure (for most kids they are not -- they work well in complement to the meds.) All of this considered, this is the best course for him based on the information available to me right now.

All I can say is a big go fuck yourself to anyone who dares to suggest that my husband and I, as parents, are doing this to get his GPA from a 3.3. to a 3.9 or whatever. This is so insulting. I don't give a flying fuck about my kid's GPA. I care about his emotional health. I care that he can function day to day and feel like a normal human being who can live in society and carry on in a somewhat competent manner. I'm tired of people having an opinion about what my thoughts and motivations are as a parent; I'm tired of people assuming I am lazy or just want a quick fix. If you knew how many doctors appointments there have been, how many late nights researching, agonizing, discussing, how many conversations I've had with parents, teachers, and on and on and on it took before I made this very carefully considered decision. You people should be ashamed of yourself. Imagine your child coming home and rolling into a ball on the floor and weeping and weeping because he feels like a giant piece of crap because nothing in his life works or make sense, and think what you as a mother would do to lift that burden from your child if you could. I would literally cut off my right arm if it meant my child could function without medication. It will kill me if it turns out 20 years from now that he has some horrible condition caused by the medication. You don't think I live with that worry every day? But if you have a bucket of water and your house starts burning down right before your very eyes, you throw the water on the fire and worry about what you'll drink at some later time.

Rant over. Carry on.

The pain in your post is palpable. I get it because I've felt it, too. Meds have been such a gift to my child. Before meds, she was clearly anxious and depressed. She scored in the critical area for anxiety and depression on those self assessments they do at the neuro psych eval. With dyslexia and dysgraphia, the extra challenge of inattentive ADHD was just too much or her. Luckily, she has been helped tremendously by the meds with no significant side effects.

I don't judge those who chose not to medicate their children. Good for them if their children at not at the same crisis point mine was or if other interventions work for them. They are lucky. I'm truly happy for them. But please don't judge my decision. It wasn't an easy one, but it was the right one for my child.

[Anonymous]

This is a timely thread because we decided to take our DS off stimulants for 3 days during Thanksgiving break and see what he was like (he also uses a non-stimulant medication to treat ADHD and we kept him on that one because you can't just stop it). It underscored to us why, although not perfect, he does take (low dosage level of) stimulant medication and that the effect of taking away even the low dosage he uses is pretty significant. He was loud, a lot more argumentative/impulsive in behavior, and unfocused. He also ate a lot more (and he has not had significant eating issues/side effects from the medication). We have worked on behavior etc etc and it was like it all went out the window. On the other hand, he was somewhat more outgoing (he also has anxiety and yes, stimulant medications can add to anxiety in some cases).

Stopping the medication for a few days was helpful -- DS has taken these meds for several years and we wanted to see if the non-stimulant med alone would help (DS is not hyperactive). On the whole, the benefit of stimulant medication continues to exceed some of the negatives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a timely thread because we decided to take our DS off stimulants for 3 days during Thanksgiving break and see what he was like (he also uses a non-stimulant medication to treat ADHD and we kept him on that one because you can't just stop it). It underscored to us why, although not perfect, he does take (low dosage level of) stimulant medication and that the effect of taking away even the low dosage he uses is pretty significant. He was loud, a lot more argumentative/impulsive in behavior, and unfocused. He also ate a lot more (and he has not had significant eating issues/side effects from the medication). We have worked on behavior etc etc and it was like it all went out the window. On the other hand, he was somewhat more outgoing (he also has anxiety and yes, stimulant medications can add to anxiety in some cases).

Stopping the medication for a few days was helpful -- DS has taken these meds for several years and we wanted to see if the non-stimulant med alone would help (DS is not hyperactive). On the whole, the benefit of stimulant medication continues to exceed some of the negatives.

Could some of this be due to disruptions in routine, the presence of other family members or otherwise unusual circumstances? My DC doesn't have an ADHD diagnosis or take medication, but we observed definite behavior changes!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am against them for MY kids anyway... My opinion is that there are boys, like mine, who should not be in a typical school. My boys thrive with outdoor time and lots of movement and exercise all day, and hands-on learning. If they were in our local PS or even most privates, they'd probably need to be drugged. So I think that there are sometimes alternatives to the meds, like changing the environment to suit the kid. My boys are now actually a lot calmer than many of their schooled peers; I don't think it's good for the kids' brains to be forced to sit all day and passively learn. But I really don't go around judging other people's choices, so I'm not "anti-medication" for all.

Which school does your child go to?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a timely thread because we decided to take our DS off stimulants for 3 days during Thanksgiving break and see what he was like (he also uses a non-stimulant medication to treat ADHD and we kept him on that one because you can't just stop it). It underscored to us why, although not perfect, he does take (low dosage level of) stimulant medication and that the effect of taking away even the low dosage he uses is pretty significant. He was loud, a lot more argumentative/impulsive in behavior, and unfocused. He also ate a lot more (and he has not had significant eating issues/side effects from the medication). We have worked on behavior etc etc and it was like it all went out the window. On the other hand, he was somewhat more outgoing (he also has anxiety and yes, stimulant medications can add to anxiety in some cases).

Stopping the medication for a few days was helpful -- DS has taken these meds for several years and we wanted to see if the non-stimulant med alone would help (DS is not hyperactive). On the whole, the benefit of stimulant medication continues to exceed some of the negatives.

Could some of this be due to disruptions in routine, the presence of other family members or otherwise unusual circumstances? My DC doesn't have an ADHD diagnosis or take medication, but we observed definite behavior changes!

No - we went away as a family because DS had some commitments during part of the weekend, so we couldn't go visit family. It was a relaxing resort near DC. I think in DS's case, re medication, there are some trade-offs (more focused vs. less anxious). Again, he's on the next-to-lowest dose for the stimulant medication he takes - and that's been the case ever since he began taking stimulant medication several years ago (we've gone through a few different medications). In his case, there have been some benefits and, overall, no horrible side effects.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The real question is, why do so many professionals default to recommending medication before trying other approaches?

Because ADHD is a real condition - and it's not a matter of the child just trying harder.

A PP wrote about over-prescription of statins -- which is also, IMO, just sanctimonious. I take statins, I eat well, get at least some exercise and, without statins, still have high cholestoral. I think that we, as a society, have gone off the deep end because we don't remember that people used to die from lack of vaccines and medications. So now we have measles and whooping cough outbreaks because free-range parents don't want to vaccinate their precious snowflakes and people think of ADHD medication as poison.

Our DS has been on ADHD medication for years. Periodically, he skips/forgets a dose and it gives us a good reminder of why he takes ADHD medication. It's not perfect and we're not one of those families whose child has gone from failing grades to Honor Roll thanks to meds, but he wouldn't be able to function well in school without it.

As for side effects, very few in DS's case. There are times he has had appetite and sleep issues but in general, they've been few and they've been manageable. He's continued to grow normally and he sleeps OK.

But you do realize that is 1 case that you are using to base all your judgement for all kids with ADHD. It worked for my kid. Well for some parents meditation works, diet change, lots of exercise.

Many people with high cholesterol and diabetes just change their diet and it fixes the issue are you saying they should not change their diet and only take meds?

When your son is "off his meds" is he on a special diet, meditating, exercising enough? Does he do behavioral therapy as well as meds?

You may want to realize that your way is not perfect, just the path you have decided to take... one of many options.

TYPE 1 diabetes you cannot fix with diet. It is insulin dependent, several times a day for life until there is a cure. It is also not caused by diet or exercise (lack of), but rather is an autoimmune disease.

[Anonymous]

i think maybe because they know the side effects

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is not a black and white issue and I deeply resent those parents who make blanket statements condemning parents who medicate (not "drug") their children. Every parent must do a cost-benefit analysis for her own child and make the best decision possible in the moment based on the wide array of conflicting information that is out there. My child is 12 and has been on meds since he was 8. Yes, I am aware of the potential future side effects (he has no noticeable side effects currently.) I weighed these potential unknown side effects against his current SUFFERING-- yes I use that word because that is the right word. My child was in pain -- deep emotional distress. He was drowning before my eyes. I could see where he would go without my intervention. He would continue to spiral downward. I read the data about kids with untreated ADHD, and the statistics regarding depression, drug abuse, car accidents and suicide. I weighed those potential outcomes alongside the the potential negative outcomes. I tried other things; nothing worked. I tried the meds. They worked. His weight and his sleep were not affected. His life became immeasurably better. So we continued to medicate AND provide all those other supports people like to yammer on about as if they are some kind of miracle cure (for most kids they are not -- they work well in complement to the meds.) All of this considered, this is the best course for him based on the information available to me right now.

All I can say is a big go fuck yourself to anyone who dares to suggest that my husband and I, as parents, are doing this to get his GPA from a 3.3. to a 3.9 or whatever. This is so insulting. I don't give a flying fuck about my kid's GPA. I care about his emotional health. I care that he can function day to day and feel like a normal human being who can live in society and carry on in a somewhat competent manner. I'm tired of people having an opinion about what my thoughts and motivations are as a parent; I'm tired of people assuming I am lazy or just want a quick fix. If you knew how many doctors appointments there have been, how many late nights researching, agonizing, discussing, how many conversations I've had with parents, teachers, and on and on and on it took before I made this very carefully considered decision. You people should be ashamed of yourself. Imagine your child coming home and rolling into a ball on the floor and weeping and weeping because he feels like a giant piece of crap because nothing in his life works or make sense, and think what you as a mother would do to lift that burden from your child if you could. I would literally cut off my right arm if it meant my child could function without medication. It will kill me if it turns out 20 years from now that he has some horrible condition caused by the medication. You don't think I live with that worry every day? But if you have a bucket of water and your house starts burning down right before your very eyes, you throw the water on the fire and worry about what you'll drink at some later time.

Rant over. Carry on.

Just wanted to let you know that I am crying reading your post because I can literally feel the pain you are going through. It also makes me cry because I don't know what the future holds for our son. He is 5 and has a severe case of ADHD. I don't know how he is going to be able to handle Kindergarten/regular school or anything in life. It is a huge impairment for him. We have already been through so much stress just trying to figure out how to help him so he can function normally. I did not want to consider medication because he is so young, but nothing else seems to be helping him at all. I worry about long term side effects. It is such a hard decision to make. We all just want our kids to be happy and have a fair shot at succeeding in life. It is so stressful and hard to see your child struggle or suffer. Anyway, I wanted to let you know that your post emotionally affected me. I hope that things continue to go well for your son. It sounds like they have moved in a positive direction.

[Anonymous]

There are two faults with the premise of this thread. First, if medication is not right for one's child - it does not equal - being "against" meds for ADD. Second, the use of the phrase, "so many" is inflammatory and vague.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because there are other options doctors refuse to try first.

I also refused to take medication for an issue I was having, did the research and changed my diet and my 2 year medical condition was resolved. I talked to the doctor about it and he said, "Most people are not that disciplined so I don't suggest it."

How about this ... suggest it, and let the patient decide.

Also, my son has a 3.3 GPA, he is happy, he is healthy, he is on 2 Varsity sports (as a Freshman) and volunteers with the Special Olympics. Why would I give him drugs?

Because think of how much better he would be if be weren't limited by his condition. If your son was missing a leg, would you let him crawl around without crutches and then ask why should you give him crutches?

For children who are missing limbs, many parents make many different decisions. Some use crutches, some use wheel chairs, some use regular prosthetic, some use the amazing springy prosthetics that amazing athletes can use. And some parents, in some cases, probably do let their child function without one limb at least some of the time for any number of reasons.
For virtually any condition there are a myriad of valid choices for families. Not everyone feels that the most aggressive choice is always the right one.

[Anonymous]

I am "against" them for my own kids because I believe they are the equivalent of steroids for school. People give them to their children so their children will pay better attention and get good grades in school. To me it is exactly the same as steroids for sports: we give them this drug, and it enhances their athletic performance. I'm not going to drug my children for grades. In all of human history somehow children managed to grow up without taking speed. I don't think this is the first generation of children who need it to get through the day. Blame your school environment instead for trying to stick a round peg in a square hole.