Help me dress like a Bethesda mom

[Anonymous]

I like a nice clean style that is not too hard to put together. If you are heavier, it is hard to get by in cheaper clothes. There have been some good responses here -- slim leg jean if that style works for you. Great boots. Don't skimp too much on the price. Quilted jacket if you like that style. (maybe too old?) really look around and copy a style that someone with your body type is wearing that you like. Its not that hard to look great.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:What a depressing thread, OP. Can't you just upgrade by deciding to spend some money on what you like, not what all the other moms are wearing? Is this high school?

My thought as well. I say this not to be snarky, but in complete honesty - I did not know adults still thought this way. Even my college kids are past the idea that they must look like all of their friends in order to be accepted.

Buy what looks good on you and what you can afford.

I'm guessing OP doesn't have a good sense of her own style, so she's going for a certain look she's seen on other people?

I don't really see anything wrong with that. As a new private school mom, I bought a few key items that look like other moms. I caved and bought the one thing they all have and now get lots of compliments. I am not a fashion designer

Wow. I am having a hard time believing these posts are real. I mean, if I see a woman with an item I like and it looks really good on her, I might buy it if I see it in the store, and I'll do that with people I see everywhere, but going out and purposefully buying things to look like other moms? ??? Seriously, that is so middle school I can't get over it.

Clearly you have more time than some of us have. Seriously, "finding my sense of style" is just not the priority item it once was with a 60 hour job and 2 small kids. I think buying things that look similar to what other people in my demographic have is a perfectly reasonable, efficient way to looking put together. In my next life I'll knit tea cosies and plan my wardrobe on blogs, pinterest and in 3 hour shopping trips. For now, I have 30 minutes at 10 pm to pick out some new clothes that make it look like I have been alive in the year 2014. Please, go ahead and snub me as you like.

Take a deep breath... This shouldn't be such a time-consuming pursuit. I have a job, and kids, and housework, and a commute, but those things haven't completely consumed my sense of individuality. I don't see other women and think "Oh, I'll just buy whatever she's wearing" instead of just finding something I like. I mean, what is the difference between walking in a store and buying something you saw another woman wearing as opposed to trying out a couple things you personally find attractive? No wonder some of you are so bitter, you've even sucked the joy out of shopping with your neurotic need for approval from others.

[Anonymous]

I get it, OP. I wouldn't have put it quite the same way, but I sometimes wish someone would just show up on my doorstep with the clothes I need to update my look and I could hand over my credit card. I hate shopping and have no sense of style. The personal shopping thing would be great if I could make it a priority and actually set up an appointment. My husband travels a lot, so free time is in short supply and I never want to spend time shopping.

But there were lots of good tips here, so thanks to those who shared.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a depressing thread, OP. Can't you just upgrade by deciding to spend some money on what you like, not what all the other moms are wearing? Is this high school?

My thought as well. I say this not to be snarky, but in complete honesty - I did not know adults still thought this way. Even my college kids are past the idea that they must look like all of their friends in order to be accepted.

Buy what looks good on you and what you can afford.

I'm guessing OP doesn't have a good sense of her own style, so she's going for a certain look she's seen on other people?

I don't really see anything wrong with that. As a new private school mom, I bought a few key items that look like other moms. I caved and bought the one thing they all have and now get lots of compliments. I am not a fashion designer

Wow. I am having a hard time believing these posts are real. I mean, if I see a woman with an item I like and it looks really good on her, I might buy it if I see it in the store, and I'll do that with people I see everywhere, but going out and purposefully buying things to look like other moms? ??? Seriously, that is so middle school I can't get over it.

Clearly you have more time than some of us have. Seriously, "finding my sense of style" is just not the priority item it once was with a 60 hour job and 2 small kids. I think buying things that look similar to what other people in my demographic have is a perfectly reasonable, efficient way to looking put together. In my next life I'll knit tea cosies and plan my wardrobe on blogs, pinterest and in 3 hour shopping trips. For now, I have 30 minutes at 10 pm to pick out some new clothes that make it look like I have been alive in the year 2014. Please, go ahead and snub me as you like.

Take a deep breath... This shouldn't be such a time-consuming pursuit. I have a job, and kids, and housework, and a commute, but those things haven't completely consumed my sense of individuality. I don't see other women and think "Oh, I'll just buy whatever she's wearing" instead of just finding something I like. I mean, what is the difference between walking in a store and buying something you saw another woman wearing as opposed to trying out a couple things you personally find attractive? No wonder some of you are so bitter, you've even sucked the joy out of shopping with your neurotic need for approval from others.

I'm not that poster but I don't think you get it. For me there was never any joy in shopping and I have even less interest in it now that most of my free time is filled with working or taking care of kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Longchamp bags are super comfortable and fairly durable. Invest in the North Face jacket- it's not that expensive when you break down the number of times you'll be wearing it and the sense of confidence/social assurance you will get. I personally find Bethesda style to be boring as hell but I will give you the rundown of what I would wear were I trying to come off as epitome of Bethesda mom:
Straight legs jeans, tapering in at the ankle (Bethesda moms are very no nonsense so flared, super skinny, or other interesting styles will not fit in.) You can find great jeans like this at JCrew or Urban Outfitters has a reasonably priced line that fit like Sevens.

A couple of button down shirts. (These can be rotated out, and bought for relatively inexpensively. Obviously Ralph Lauren and Brooks Brothers makes the best button downs but you dont HAVE to get those brands- you can get inexpensive versions that will pass the once-over from all kinds of TJMaxx types shops)
Sweaters: for winter, nothing is chicer than a very simple pull over in a neutral color like navy blue, black, or tan.
A good pair of boots to run around in- should come to about the knee, give or take some inches, in a good leather. These you will want to spend at least $200 on, maybe a smudge cheaper if you go to DSW or find them on sale. No one likes imitation leather.
Pair of flats to rotate out- JCrew makes fab italian leather simple flats in a variety of vibrant colors, for about $100. Or if you are cool spending a bit more, Stubbs and Wooten is a preppy stable that lately has been branching out into more modern. fun designs.
Longchamp, or a big Louis Vuitton tote.

All of these (with the exception of the LV and Stubbs & Wooten) are very reasonably priced options in my opinion. Nowadays, spending hundreds on clothes is reasonable. I subscribe to the French idea that dressing well is a form of politeness, and I always try to look put-together and respectful to whatever area or occasion I attending.

With that being said, this ^list is probably more Chevy Chase mom than Bethesda mom, but in my opinion Bethesda moms usually dress like frumps, like they raided the casuals section at Chico's, so I would never want anyone to dress like one.

Good tips here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Go to Nordstrom and use their free personal shopper service if you're not confident in what you want to wear. Splurge on coats, shoes, bags, and good jeans; spend way less on the tops.

FWIW, I am a private school Chevy Chase mom nursing a newborn and every damn day in the winter I end up in leggings (Zelle) or jeans (Paige), ballet flats / riding boots (booties if I'm doing something fancy, which is pretty much never), my favorite huge Splendid t-shirts, and a chic long cardigan. This is largely because I have to get my boobs out constantly; otherwise, would definitely be in my big crewneck cable knits with the above. Nice jewelry, most of which wayyy predates my baby-making days, makes me feel better about not washing my hair (see: newborn).

And I don't own a North Face. A chic utility parka for casual wear and some aviators is way more current.

Well, clearly, this is your formula, OP. Who wouldn't want to look like a private school Chevy Chase mom nursing a newborn.

Not that PP, but I think she was pretty much answering the question, albeit a little more specifically than it was asked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get it, OP. I wouldn't have put it quite the same way, but I sometimes wish someone would just show up on my doorstep with the clothes I need to update my look and I could hand over my credit card. I hate shopping and have no sense of style. The personal shopping thing would be great if I could make it a priority and actually set up an appointment. My husband travels a lot, so free time is in short supply and I never want to spend time shopping.

But there were lots of good tips here, so thanks to those who shared.

+1. I hate clothes shopping also. I wish someone would just pick out my clothes for me.

OP I live in the Midwest and we have had very cold winters. For the past 5 years every mom I see has a long black winter coat. 50% are Northface. They are functional. I have a long black semi puffy coat also. I was so sick of my black coat by the end of winter and seeing every mom in their black coats. One day a mom showed up in a bright pink short ski coat and it was like wow! Color in a sea of black. Get a coat that keeps you warm but makes you happy to put on. Color is good!

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Yes, it has to be North Face, sorry.

I don't understand why everyone feels the need to wear skiing/mountaineering coats on weekends. Your regular wool coats work on Saturday too. Are you going to ascend K2 between the run to safeway and picking up the kids at soccer?

I have the same reaction to seeing parkas in urban and suburban settings. WHY?

Can't speak for others, but I don't find wool coats warm enough for walking around town. And the puffers are more casual. I'm not going to wear a wool coat if I'm running around in leggings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I'm not that poster but I don't think you get it. For me there was never any joy in shopping and I have even less interest in it now that most of my free time is filled with working or taking care of kids.

I think shopping for clothes/working out your wardrobe is like sex. If you can't find any way to enjoy it (even online! could it possibly be any easier?!?!), you're doing it wrong.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, shopping online is not easier for those who have no sense of style and hate spending time on it. Yes, it's easy to put something in your cart and purchase it, but if it doesn't fit or look good, I then I have to return it. Shopping online is GREAT when you know exactly what you want--I shop all the time online, just not for clothes and shoes.

[Anonymous]

Haven't tried it but have heard some people like Stitch Fix. It's an online styling service and it's easy for people who don't have time. www.stitchfix.com

[Anonymous]

Sorry, shopping online is not easier for those who have no sense of style and hate spending time on it. Yes, it's easy to put something in your cart and purchase it, but if it doesn't fit or look good, I then I have to return it. Shopping online is GREAT when you know exactly what you want--I shop all the time online, just not for clothes and shoes.

[Anonymous]

sorry for double post, got the 404 error

[Anonymous]

North Face is a kids brand.

[Anonymous]

I have a black NF puffy coat. I have never been warmer!