I don't get the Montessori cult

[Anonymous]

Well, I would guess that children in Montessori programs, who aren't given very much opportunity to interact with other children, would be less inclined to hit other children! I toured one Montessori school (a very well-regarded one with a long waiting list) and had the same impression as OP. I didn't even fill out an application. I ran as fast as I could and never considered Montessori after that. Since then I have noticed most Montessori children just seem a little socially "off." Whether they are overly shy or overly talkative, or something else. Anyone else notice this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, I would guess that children in Montessori programs, who aren't given very much opportunity to interact with other children, would be less inclined to hit other children! I toured one Montessori school (a very well-regarded one with a long waiting list) and had the same impression as OP. I didn't even fill out an application. I ran as fast as I could and never considered Montessori after that. Since then I have noticed most Montessori children just seem a little socially "off." Whether they are overly shy or overly talkative, or something else. Anyone else notice this?

I used to nanny for a little boy who attended a Montessori school. He got hit and or bit by other kids constantly. And he had a great teacher. I did notice that many of the parents were a little odd socially. Perhaps there was something about the Montessori method that drew those types of people to the school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, I would guess that children in Montessori programs, who aren't given very much opportunity to interact with other children, would be less inclined to hit other children! I toured one Montessori school (a very well-regarded one with a long waiting list) and had the same impression as OP. I didn't even fill out an application. I ran as fast as I could and never considered Montessori after that. Since then I have noticed most Montessori children just seem a little socially "off." Whether they are overly shy or overly talkative, or something else. Anyone else notice this?

Why do you think they aren't given much opportunity to interact with other children?
At my son's school they have a WHOLE lot more interaction than in a traditional school setting. In K and up they have lunch and recess, just like they do in any other school. For the half day kids, they have a long outside playtime as well. And there's plenty of talking and laughing and running around during recess. The interaction isn't just with kids who are their exact age, but with a wider range of ages and experiences. And then in the actual classroom, instead of being quiet and focused on one activity and only speaking when called on, they are free to interact pretty much all day. If they get so loud that they are distracting other kids, or if they are being disrespectful to a kid or to the material, than they'll be corrected. But kids can actually work together on something they voluntarily chose to do together.

As for your sweeping generalization of montessori children, I'll just leave that with an eye roll and a suggestion that it's generally not good to stereotype any group of people.

[Anonymous]

Based on my observation at M school (preschool to elementary), the preschool kids doesn't seem to interact a lot with each other during the 3hour block work. I guess they are new and need to focus to mastering their new skills individually. The K kids interact in group of 2 more than the preschool (in the same classroom). The elementary kids talks even more with their classmate (younger and same age). I think the social skill increased as they grow older interact more with other kids on their own. I don't think the teacher disallow they do so as long as they are not interrupting other kids. That's why is so awkwardly quiet (if I visit a play-based care then M-school) but they do talk here and there in a lower voice. I have to ask questions, how much social time should a preschool/K kids have at school? it seems like most of parents concern about this. Also the M school has outside time where kids are freely play and loud.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG are you me? That was us last year. My end result was that the kids enjoyed it, learned a lot but as a parent MY experience was sub par. Eh, but I'll live.

+1 Same here. My kid did year one then we pulled out and went somewhere else. It wasn't the experience I wanted for me or my DC, but DC did get a lot of out it - primarily self regulation, etc. We are now in a play-based program that encourages family participation! LOVE IT!

Well, as long as it's more about you and what you enjoy than what your kid gets out of it, then all is well, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:8:21 I'm not an asshole. I'm just sick of parents and teachers giving advice who have so little experience. Montessori teacher is obviously pro-Montessori. Twin dad is just an inexperienced dad with a kid in a preschool he admits he doesn't think is well run. Twin Dad was advocating choosing a Montessori based on observations from 10 weeks. 10 weeks! If you find that incredibly helpful, I think you're the one whose short sighted.

Ironic, because many people on this board freely criticize Montessori (example: the subject line of this thread referring to Montessori as a "cult") without having read anything about the Montessori method or after having toured only one school or only having one experience with a school, or else, like one of the PPs, they "know a Montessori kid and he's weird."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please don't base your opinion of Montessori on this one school. Our school is not like what you described. The Montessori method is amazing.

+1 We toured 5 different Montessori schools and they were totally different form each other. We picked the fun one!

Me too. Schools are really different. I loved my son's preschool. Fun teachers, parents in the class all the time…required to be actually. Tons of other activities too. And my son learned so much…teachers really took a special interest in him and had him doing all kinds of advanced work on his own. They also worked really hard with kids who were struggling….

I think you just have to look at schools as schools and see which ones you like. In terms of Montessori I liked that the teachers had a common approach to teaching, gave them a seriousness and professionalism about what they were doing. Also liked the individualized attention kids got…and liked the emphasis on manipulatives. I think the approach to math is really great. Teach it first with stuff and then transfer it later to abstract numbers on a page.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:8:21 I'm not an asshole. I'm just sick of parents and teachers giving advice who have so little experience. Montessori teacher is obviously pro-Montessori. Twin dad is just an inexperienced dad with a kid in a preschool he admits he doesn't think is well run. Twin Dad was advocating choosing a Montessori based on observations from 10 weeks. 10 weeks! If you find that incredibly helpful, I think you're the one whose short sighted.

Ironic, because many people on this board freely criticize Montessori (example: the subject line of this thread referring to Montessori as a "cult") without having read anything about the Montessori method or after having toured only one school or only having one experience with a school, or else, like one of the PPs, they "know a Montessori kid and he's weird."

It's true people do this without much research, but the same can be said for parents who haven't had their child in a playbased or traditional program but are comparing their Montessori experience to the worst daycare in the neighborhood or the preschool they grew up attending. I think more people have read up on Montessori than most Montessori teachers and parents either realize or give them credit for. There is definitely a general response among Montessori teachers in particular that if a parent has an issue with the school in some way that the real problem is that the parent doesn't understand the method well enough.

[Anonymous]

Posting a reply a bit late, but getting into the discussion nonetheless . . . Our school won't accept your application unless you have visited and observed the class in session. The Director also asks you to observe other Montessori schools and other preschools and talks about the differences and whether you, as a parent, feel our school is a "good fit" for your child. "Is it too quiet?" "Do you like the degree of independence that is seen amongst the children?" During observation days, sometimes parents see an upset child get comforted or two arguing children working out their problems -- or needing an adult to step in and get help.

The Director always wants the parent to take away a snapshot of the classroom. She feels it is the parent who knows their child best and needs to make the decision of school choice. Yes, some children are washing tables, some are polishing wood pieces, some are adding math problems, and others are folding yesterday's laundry -- but there is a real joy in their "work." That's why it is important for parents to observe the classroom: you instinctively know whether or not your child would be happy in this type of environment. And if the child is learning and thriving, why would a parent not be happy?