I don't get the Montessori cult

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
You think 12 children to 2 teachers is somehow more chaotic than 26 children to 2 teachers in Montessori? I doubt it. Your children were younger and were in a daycare environment that apparently has been spiraling out of control due to management. Not really the same comparison as the Montessori you now really like verses the great play-based preschool that has a waiting list. At our play-based preschool no one has hit since age 2.

Yes, the 12 2-yo children to 2 teachers in former daycare center was more chaotic than the 12-14 mixed aged children to 2 teachers in our Montessori school. And the current 10 3-yo children to 2 teachers that my other child is in is more chaotic than the same 12-14 mixed aged children to 2 teachers in the Montessori.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Yes, but from the get go you already are leaning toward the Montessori school and are even bribing your twin to be potty trained to get there. Doesn't sound like they're equally good schools or that you have the same respect for both. There are actually just as good if not better play based preschools out there. Your play based preschool seems to just be a filler till you put them in the preschool you've done a lot of research on.

Twin dad PP back. I don't think we're overly biased towards Montessori. From 3 months to 2.9 years, we had them in a large play-based daycare center, which we loved. Excellent facility. However around 2.3 years, the former director left the facility. There were a few months of interim directors and finally a new director came on board. However, she did not run things as well and suddenly a school with low staff turnover had high staff turnover. There were repeated complaints from parents and they had to initiate monthly parent meetings for the parents to come in and discuss current issues with the director and regional director of the facility. We were looking for the best option as an alternative and the Montessori pre-school was our second best option. Another play-based facility was our first option, but we're on the waiting list and unlikely to get one let alone two spots for at least a year.

Yes, I consider the Montessori pre-school to be a better choice for our children than the daycare that we have Twin A in, but I do not inherently think that Montessori schools are superior to play-based schools. However, even in our previous daycare which we loved, we did notice that in play-based care, you occasionally have a lowest common denominator effect. When one child hits, it often trickles through the group as the teachers are not always able to be there 100% of the time in group play. With 12 children to 2 teachers, the teachers often miss some group play when the group is spread out in several clusters of 3-4 children. With decreased group interaction in the Montessori school, there are often fewer opportunities for some types of learned behavior. Additionally, our Montessori has three classrooms of mixed ages, so that the 3 year olds are mixed in with the 4, 5 and 6 year olds. It seems to break up some of the age-related issues of the younger crowd. This is where I think a lot of the discrepency in the twins behavior comes from.

You think 12 children to 2 teachers is somehow more chaotic than 26 children to 2 teachers in Montessori? I doubt it. Your children were younger and were in a daycare environment that apparently has been spiraling out of control due to management. Not really the same comparison as the Montessori you now really like verses the great play-based preschool that has a waiting list. At our play-based preschool no one has hit since age 2.

How in the world would you know for a fact that at your play-based preschool "no one has hit since age 2?" You sound defensive, imo.

-Signed, Montessori teacher

[Anonymous]

Montessori teacher here.

IMO, Regardless of the educational philosophy (Montessori, Reggio, Waldorf, traditional, progressive, etc) BY FAR the most important thing is the TEACHER in the classroom. There are good and bad teachers in every type of school. The classroom is only as good as the teacher, whether he/she is teaching in a public school or a Montessori school, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG are you me? That was us last year. My end result was that the kids enjoyed it, learned a lot but as a parent MY experience was sub par. Eh, but I'll live.

+1 Same here. My kid did year one then we pulled out and went somewhere else. It wasn't the experience I wanted for me or my DC, but DC did get a lot of out it - primarily self regulation, etc. We are now in a play-based program that encourages family participation! LOVE IT!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Yes, but from the get go you already are leaning toward the Montessori school and are even bribing your twin to be potty trained to get there. Doesn't sound like they're equally good schools or that you have the same respect for both. There are actually just as good if not better play based preschools out there. Your play based preschool seems to just be a filler till you put them in the preschool you've done a lot of research on.

Twin dad PP back. I don't think we're overly biased towards Montessori. From 3 months to 2.9 years, we had them in a large play-based daycare center, which we loved. Excellent facility. However around 2.3 years, the former director left the facility. There were a few months of interim directors and finally a new director came on board. However, she did not run things as well and suddenly a school with low staff turnover had high staff turnover. There were repeated complaints from parents and they had to initiate monthly parent meetings for the parents to come in and discuss current issues with the director and regional director of the facility. We were looking for the best option as an alternative and the Montessori pre-school was our second best option. Another play-based facility was our first option, but we're on the waiting list and unlikely to get one let alone two spots for at least a year.

Yes, I consider the Montessori pre-school to be a better choice for our children than the daycare that we have Twin A in, but I do not inherently think that Montessori schools are superior to play-based schools. However, even in our previous daycare which we loved, we did notice that in play-based care, you occasionally have a lowest common denominator effect. When one child hits, it often trickles through the group as the teachers are not always able to be there 100% of the time in group play. With 12 children to 2 teachers, the teachers often miss some group play when the group is spread out in several clusters of 3-4 children. With decreased group interaction in the Montessori school, there are often fewer opportunities for some types of learned behavior. Additionally, our Montessori has three classrooms of mixed ages, so that the 3 year olds are mixed in with the 4, 5 and 6 year olds. It seems to break up some of the age-related issues of the younger crowd. This is where I think a lot of the discrepency in the twins behavior comes from.

You think 12 children to 2 teachers is somehow more chaotic than 26 children to 2 teachers in Montessori? I doubt it. Your children were younger and were in a daycare environment that apparently has been spiraling out of control due to management. Not really the same comparison as the Montessori you now really like verses the great play-based preschool that has a waiting list. At our play-based preschool no one has hit since age 2.

How in the world would you know for a fact that at your play-based preschool "no one has hit since age 2?" You sound defensive, imo.

-Signed, Montessori teacher

Hitting from age 3 and on is not a "normal" thing in our neighborhood. We live in an affluent area with gifted teachers and attentive parents and by age 3 the children were playing well together and following the rules. We hear about any incident from talking to the teacher regularly and from our own child who tells us whenever someone is doing something wrong. They're not angels. Sometimes kids feel left out of a game. But they know not to hit, spit, throw blocks, etc. I guess you're right I'm not saying it never happened, but after talking to the teacher every day I can tell there incidents are few and far between. All the children are what I would call "very well behaved". The regularly say please and thank you without prompting and share and play games together without problem on a daily basis without much adult intervention. I would expect the same at a well regarded Montessori too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Yes, but from the get go you already are leaning toward the Montessori school and are even bribing your twin to be potty trained to get there. Doesn't sound like they're equally good schools or that you have the same respect for both. There are actually just as good if not better play based preschools out there. Your play based preschool seems to just be a filler till you put them in the preschool you've done a lot of research on.

Twin dad PP back. I don't think we're overly biased towards Montessori. From 3 months to 2.9 years, we had them in a large play-based daycare center, which we loved. Excellent facility. However around 2.3 years, the former director left the facility. There were a few months of interim directors and finally a new director came on board. However, she did not run things as well and suddenly a school with low staff turnover had high staff turnover. There were repeated complaints from parents and they had to initiate monthly parent meetings for the parents to come in and discuss current issues with the director and regional director of the facility. We were looking for the best option as an alternative and the Montessori pre-school was our second best option. Another play-based facility was our first option, but we're on the waiting list and unlikely to get one let alone two spots for at least a year.

Yes, I consider the Montessori pre-school to be a better choice for our children than the daycare that we have Twin A in, but I do not inherently think that Montessori schools are superior to play-based schools. However, even in our previous daycare which we loved, we did notice that in play-based care, you occasionally have a lowest common denominator effect. When one child hits, it often trickles through the group as the teachers are not always able to be there 100% of the time in group play. With 12 children to 2 teachers, the teachers often miss some group play when the group is spread out in several clusters of 3-4 children. With decreased group interaction in the Montessori school, there are often fewer opportunities for some types of learned behavior. Additionally, our Montessori has three classrooms of mixed ages, so that the 3 year olds are mixed in with the 4, 5 and 6 year olds. It seems to break up some of the age-related issues of the younger crowd. This is where I think a lot of the discrepency in the twins behavior comes from.

You think 12 children to 2 teachers is somehow more chaotic than 26 children to 2 teachers in Montessori? I doubt it. Your children were younger and were in a daycare environment that apparently has been spiraling out of control due to management. Not really the same comparison as the Montessori you now really like verses the great play-based preschool that has a waiting list. At our play-based preschool no one has hit since age 2.

How in the world would you know for a fact that at your play-based preschool "no one has hit since age 2?" You sound defensive, imo.

-Signed, Montessori teacher

Hitting from age 3 and on is not a "normal" thing in our neighborhood. We live in an affluent area with gifted teachers and attentive parents and by age 3 the children were playing well together and following the rules. We hear about any incident from talking to the teacher regularly and from our own child who tells us whenever someone is doing something wrong. They're not angels. Sometimes kids feel left out of a game. But they know not to hit, spit, throw blocks, etc. I guess you're right I'm not saying it never happened, but after talking to the teacher every day I can tell there incidents are few and far between. All the children are what I would call "very well behaved". The regularly say please and thank you without prompting and share and play games together without problem on a daily basis without much adult intervention. I would expect the same at a well regarded Montessori too.

Please. We live in an "affluent area with gifted teachers and attentive parents" and some of the kids with the coolest, most attentive parents hit on occasion at age 3 even though they are generally "very well behaved."

[Anonymous]

"On occasion"is different than the behavior of Twin A which seems to be a regular occurrence. "Twin A is excitable, unfocused, has weaker verbal skills and hits to get attention doesn't follow directions as well." That is not normal 3 year old behavior even in most preschools. It just sounds like this parent is comparing some Kinder Care like free for all daycare with revolving teachers to a well regarded Montessori and that argument just gets tiresome. There are plenty of great non-Montessori preschools that don't have any children like Twin A because the teachers work with the children on how to behave. Most of the child psychologists who give talks around the area don't even recommend Montessori for social skills. Montessori schools are well known to have parents mainly interested in academics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"On occasion"is different than the behavior of Twin A which seems to be a regular occurrence. "Twin A is excitable, unfocused, has weaker verbal skills and hits to get attention doesn't follow directions as well." That is not normal 3 year old behavior even in most preschools. It just sounds like this parent is comparing some Kinder Care like free for all daycare with revolving teachers to a well regarded Montessori and that argument just gets tiresome. There are plenty of great non-Montessori preschools that don't have any children like Twin A because the teachers work with the children on how to behave. Most of the child psychologists who give talks around the area don't even recommend Montessori for social skills. Montessori schools are well known to have parents mainly interested in academics.

Twin dad here. I'm sorry if I made it out to be a chronic problem. It's not, but Twin B is pretty much over the hitting phase, much as has been described in "affluent areas". Twin A is not a completely rowdy uncontrolled terrible child, just has occasional outbursts that seem much more like 2-yo behavior than 3-yo behavior. I'd say that I think that Twin A is a few months behind Twin B in maturity and that I think a part of that is due to less structured guidance from the play-based daycare that he is in.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like Twin B was already a little more mature then because the change has only been 10 weeks. Glad the calmer atmosphere is working well. As the kids get older though, you may miss the rowdiness. As someone with kids who are older, I've just noticed that some Montessori kids come across as too serious and don't fit in as well as the kids who went to play-based programs. A good preschool no matter what the method will have time for some structure and for free play.

[Anonymous]

Twin dad, I'm sorry that you've had to put up with assholes here questioning your every word and dissecting your kids' behavior. I, for one, found your post very helpful and agree that occasional hitting is typical behavior for many toddlers even in "affluent" areas.

I hope your other child potty trains quickly and can join his sibling.

[Anonymous]

8:21 I'm not an asshole. I'm just sick of parents and teachers giving advice who have so little experience. Montessori teacher is obviously pro-Montessori. Twin dad is just an inexperienced dad with a kid in a preschool he admits he doesn't think is well run. Twin Dad was advocating choosing a Montessori based on observations from 10 weeks. 10 weeks! If you find that incredibly helpful, I think you're the one whose short sighted.

[Anonymous]

9:13 again. Also, I put one child through four years of Montessori starting at age 2 and another child through 3 years of a two different schools one being traditional and the other play based so I now have experience with at least 3 different methods and have met many children in all types of preschools. I see pluses and minuses to all of those systems. I've seen great play based schools and great Montessori schools and poor ones of both as well. There are many things that matter more in a preschool than the chosen curriculum.

[Anonymous]

Twin Dad. I do apologize for questioning you, but I read your remarks as if a typical playbased program produces kids who are unfocused and un-controlling since you didn't seem to single out Twin B as being any different than the other children. As you probably know, that is a rumor that gets circulated among Montessori parents and teachers quite frequently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Twin Dad. I do apologize for questioning you, but I read your remarks as if a typical playbased program produces kids who are unfocused and un-controlling since you didn't seem to single out Twin B as being any different than the other children. As you probably know, that is a rumor that gets circulated among Montessori parents and teachers quite frequently.

Not a problem, I've got a pretty think skin, especially when on the Internet. In any event, while I respect that you have more experience, I was trying to provide my admittedly limited experience in more detail than most others with experience with both types of schools seem to provide. I was trying to point out that I found that for my children, the more individualized, less group-organized activity helped Twin B become more focused and less rowdy. I do recognize that good play-based daycares with good teachers can have the same effect, but I was also trying to counter the very negative overall feel of this thread. So many people are just giving short, negative responses directing OP against Montessori and enhancing the impression of it being cult-like, stifling and almost alien.

[Anonymous]

Unfortunately some are pretty stifling just like some playbased preschools have kids that are pretty out of control. Glad you found a good one.