Our first days of public school after private, what I've noticed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just wait, it gets worse.

We did the switch and noticed the same.

Lots of parents - even in our small neighborhood public - did not know each other.

Office staff - generally rude and non smiling.

The notices that get sent home are ridiculous - "please check here that you agree to send your child dressed appropriately for the winter concert ..."

The teachers - horrible communication skills.

So switch back. Or accept that public schools typically don't go out of their way to make parents feel good about themselves, the way private schools have to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The negativity is a real issue. We are at a really good public school with smiling teachers, administrators, etc. and a high quality of teaching but the written communication that comes from the school is terrible. BUT it was really shocking to me how much of the text in our back to school packet dealt with do not do this and do not do that. I thought the first rule of discipline and good teaching was to always be positive? Is it just that the teachers/administrators don't know how to write?

I would guess it's more that they have lots and lots of experience of parents ignoring the rules. So they want to make them clear and get it up front so there is no confusion, excuses like " I didn't see it".

Private schools have parents and kids who don't follow rules too and I am sure that the process of getting them to follow the rules is more painstaking, but it gets done. Plus the polite, cheery behavior of the staff makes everyone feel that they also have to be polite. This is true for any business. But public school are not a business. I don't mind dealing with mean government employees who don't come in contact with my kids, but the ones who do (schools) should remember that they are setting the tone.

Hmm. Why are staff at privates smiling and very friendly? So that parents will like the atmosphere, stay, and keep paying tuition.

Or they like working in a positive atmosphere free of government rules and regulations, and that doesn't tell them they are shitty teachers if they can't take kids who have no discipline or support at home and turn them into ace test takers.

Public's government regulations include mandatory master's degrees and teachers certifications. Privates have no such requirement. So many, many private school teachers couldn't teach in public.

BFD. Those highly educated people are also treated like shit by the school systems and saddled with impossible goals, and eventually become bitter and disillusioned. My son's classroom teachers at his parochial school both have or are working towards Master's degrees AND they like where they work. Two out of three teachers of his academic specials also have Master's degrees. So they are happier, more positive and energetic in teaching my son, as opposed to the Master's educated/certified drone who "taught" my child in PK3 at a DC Charter and was a miserable and negative person who made all of us hate the school experience. I couldn't blame her - I'd hate working in that environment every day, too, but it was toxic nonetheless. So, the education level of the teachers doesn't tell the whole story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just wait, it gets worse.

We did the switch and noticed the same.

Lots of parents - even in our small neighborhood public - did not know each other.

Office staff - generally rude and non smiling.

The notices that get sent home are ridiculous - "please check here that you agree to send your child dressed appropriately for the winter concert ..."

The teachers - horrible communication skills.

So switch back. Or accept that public schools typically don't go out of their way to make parents feel good about themselves, the way private schools have to.

I don't think you get it. I don't need anyone to make me feel good about myself. But I do need the school to make me feel good about the fact that I am leaving my child in their care every day. And if I have to pay for that peace of mind, in addition to a great education, it's worth it. I want my child to be surrounded by adults who are positive and good role models for how to treat others and conduct yourself in a professional setting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just wait, it gets worse.

We did the switch and noticed the same.

Lots of parents - even in our small neighborhood public - did not know each other.

Office staff - generally rude and non smiling.

The notices that get sent home are ridiculous - "please check here that you agree to send your child dressed appropriately for the winter concert ..."

The teachers - horrible communication skills.

So switch back. Or accept that public schools typically don't go out of their way to make parents feel good about themselves, the way private schools have to.

I don't think you get it. I don't need anyone to make me feel good about myself. But I do need the school to make me feel good about the fact that I am leaving my child in their care every day. And if I have to pay for that peace of mind, in addition to a great education, it's worth it. I want my child to be surrounded by adults who are positive and good role models for how to treat others and conduct yourself in a professional setting.

I think I do get it. If you need the school to make you feel good about sending your child to the school, then you will probably have to pay for it. And good news -- you are willing to pay for it! Sounds like a win-win all around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just wait, it gets worse.

We did the switch and noticed the same.

Lots of parents - even in our small neighborhood public - did not know each other.

Office staff - generally rude and non smiling.

The notices that get sent home are ridiculous - "please check here that you agree to send your child dressed appropriately for the winter concert ..."

The teachers - horrible communication skills.

So switch back. Or accept that public schools typically don't go out of their way to make parents feel good about themselves, the way private schools have to.

I don't think you get it. I don't need anyone to make me feel good about myself. But I do need the school to make me feel good about the fact that I am leaving my child in their care every day. And if I have to pay for that peace of mind, in addition to a great education, it's worth it. I want my child to be surrounded by adults who are positive and good role models for how to treat others and conduct yourself in a professional setting.

I think I do get it. If you need the school to make you feel good about sending your child to the school, then you will probably have to pay for it. And good news -- you are willing to pay for it! Sounds like a win-win all around.

Good. Glad I could help you understand. Because your first post demonstrated a complete lack of understanding. You've learned something today!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just wait, it gets worse.

We did the switch and noticed the same.

Lots of parents - even in our small neighborhood public - did not know each other.

Office staff - generally rude and non smiling.

The notices that get sent home are ridiculous - "please check here that you agree to send your child dressed appropriately for the winter concert ..."

The teachers - horrible communication skills.

Just curious, is that what it means to go to a private school? You become close friends/acquaintances with every parent of every child at the school? That sounds very uncomfortable.

I'll stick with knowing most parents by sight, thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The negativity is a real issue. We are at a really good public school with smiling teachers, administrators, etc. and a high quality of teaching but the written communication that comes from the school is terrible. BUT it was really shocking to me how much of the text in our back to school packet dealt with do not do this and do not do that. I thought the first rule of discipline and good teaching was to always be positive? Is it just that the teachers/administrators don't know how to write?

Anonymous wrote:

I am afraid that the kids will develop this style of communicating. I agree about the packets. Almost worth the $$ to put in place a system that is more positive, even if it means hiring someone to spin this in the positive or politely answer the same questions over and over. Just think that kids will be more successful in life if they are more positive.

You want a cash-strapped public school to hire a PR person to spin the welcome packets so kids don't feel "negative" about not getting to bring Cheetoes to class? God, PLEASE go away.

Let me guess. You're a teacher? What's wrong with a positive non passive aggressive approach for the office staff who write these missives. I'm at Deal and I can't believe that front desk woman--

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The negativity is a real issue. We are at a really good public school with smiling teachers, administrators, etc. and a high quality of teaching but the written communication that comes from the school is terrible. BUT it was really shocking to me how much of the text in our back to school packet dealt with do not do this and do not do that. I thought the first rule of discipline and good teaching was to always be positive? Is it just that the teachers/administrators don't know how to write?

Anonymous wrote:

I am afraid that the kids will develop this style of communicating. I agree about the packets. Almost worth the $$ to put in place a system that is more positive, even if it means hiring someone to spin this in the positive or politely answer the same questions over and over. Just think that kids will be more successful in life if they are more positive.

You want a cash-strapped public school to hire a PR person to spin the welcome packets so kids don't feel "negative" about not getting to bring Cheetoes to class? God, PLEASE go away.

Let me guess. You're a teacher? What's wrong with a positive non passive aggressive approach for the office staff who write these missives. I'm at Deal and I can't believe that front desk woman--

I'm not a teacher and there's nothing wrong with any of that. There is, however, something wrong with the idea that you should HIRE A PR PRO to do it. Clearly this former private school mom has no concept of how things work outside the country club gates and should return there at once.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Private: children were taught civics, class size smaller, more recess and exercise, most teachers good, expensive.

Public: children not taught basic civics and run around indoors, class size of 26-30 kids, not enough gym/recess, teachers ok, cheap.

Public: More exposure to different kids on the way up, teachers must be educated, required statewide testing to see how your kid is retaining certain information, more access to specialists to work with your kid OR other kids who may need it: reading specialist, behavioral specialist, many counselors, etc.

Private: more field trips, often a closer knit community however you're seeing the same kids year after year after year, very often the education is not better, esp. in elementary grades, smaller class sizes, often foreign languages or other extras being taught, homework is often harder, longer and actually graded/counts towards the grade

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, at our public school, many parents know each other, the staff are very pleasant and friendly, and they even had a welcome back "breakfast" for parents in the gym after drop off (where we got to walk our kids to their classes). So you can't assume all public schools are the same.

+1- Maybe it's just that YOUR school isn't so nice. Something to think about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Well, at our public school, many parents know each other, the staff are very pleasant and friendly, and they even had a welcome back "breakfast" for parents in the gym after drop off (where we got to walk our kids to their classes). So you can't assume all public schools are the same.


+1- Maybe it's just that YOUR school isn't so nice. Something to think about.
[Report Post]

Yep, I'm amazed at how friendly our public elementary staff has always been. At our middle school event yesterday, the staff were falling over themselves to meet us. I went to expensive private schools and was worried about the public school experience at first, but have no reservations now. That's not to say that it is always unicorns and roses, but I can't see sending DC to private at this point.

Not sure where OP's school is, but it's not in my neighborhood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just wait, it gets worse.

We did the switch and noticed the same.

Lots of parents - even in our small neighborhood public - did not know each other.

Office staff - generally rude and non smiling.

The notices that get sent home are ridiculous - "please check here that you agree to send your child dressed appropriately for the winter concert ..."

The teachers - horrible communication skills.

So switch back. Or accept that public schools typically don't go out of their way to make parents feel good about themselves, the way private schools have to.

I don't think you get it. I don't need anyone to make me feel good about myself. But I do need the school to make me feel good about the fact that I am leaving my child in their care every day. And if I have to pay for that peace of mind, in addition to a great education, it's worth it. I want my child to be surrounded by adults who are positive and good role models for how to treat others and conduct yourself in a professional setting.

I think I do get it. If you need the school to make you feel good about sending your child to the school, then you will probably have to pay for it. And good news -- you are willing to pay for it! Sounds like a win-win all around.

It's a shame that for the rest of us with kids in public schools who can't afford private, we have to put up with nasty unprofessional staff who can't be bothered to be polite or be good role models for our kids. I would expect people in a professional position to be able to act professional -- even if they are in a union and can never be fired -- and that means being welcoming to parents and making parents feel good about their kids being in the school. That doesn't seem so hard IMO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The negativity is a real issue. We are at a really good public school with smiling teachers, administrators, etc. and a high quality of teaching but the written communication that comes from the school is terrible. BUT it was really shocking to me how much of the text in our back to school packet dealt with do not do this and do not do that. I thought the first rule of discipline and good teaching was to always be positive? Is it just that the teachers/administrators don't know how to write?

Anonymous wrote:

I am afraid that the kids will develop this style of communicating. I agree about the packets. Almost worth the $$ to put in place a system that is more positive, even if it means hiring someone to spin this in the positive or politely answer the same questions over and over. Just think that kids will be more successful in life if they are more positive.

You want a cash-strapped public school to hire a PR person to spin the welcome packets so kids don't feel "negative" about not getting to bring Cheetoes to class? God, PLEASE go away.

Let me guess. You're a teacher? What's wrong with a positive non passive aggressive approach for the office staff who write these missives. I'm at Deal and I can't believe that front desk woman--

I'm not a teacher and there's nothing wrong with any of that. There is, however, something wrong with the idea that you should HIRE A PR PRO to do it. Clearly this former private school mom has no concept of how things work outside the country club gates and should return there at once.

You mean outside the country club gates people are unwashed assholes? I disagree. I live exclusively outside the country club gates and I resent the laziness of the office staff who can't even be bothered to hide their displeasure with being on the job and with the parents they deal with. I don't believe it has to be that way outside the country club gates.

Get another job all you sour pusses. There are plenty of unemployed people out there who would be thrilled to work in the school dealing with parents and children all day and who wouldn't find it such a stretch to be pleasant and professional.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

It's a shame that for the rest of us with kids in public schools who can't afford private, we have to put up with nasty unprofessional staff who can't be bothered to be polite or be good role models for our kids. I would expect people in a professional position to be able to act professional -- even if they are in a union and can never be fired -- and that means being welcoming to parents and making parents feel good about their kids being in the school. That doesn't seem so hard IMO.

It's possible that the staff at your child's school is cranky, irritable, and mean. Alternatively, it's possible that the staff at your child's school senses that you think of public school as something you send your children to if you can't afford private school, staffed by lazy people who can't be fired, and is reacting to you accordingly.

The staff at my children's schools have all been competent at their jobs. Do they greet me with a hug and a muffin? Nope. But I don't expect them to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

It's a shame that for the rest of us with kids in public schools who can't afford private, we have to put up with nasty unprofessional staff who can't be bothered to be polite or be good role models for our kids. I would expect people in a professional position to be able to act professional -- even if they are in a union and can never be fired -- and that means being welcoming to parents and making parents feel good about their kids being in the school. That doesn't seem so hard IMO.

It's possible that the staff at your child's school is cranky, irritable, and mean. Alternatively, it's possible that the staff at your child's school senses that you think of public school as something you send your children to if you can't afford private school, staffed by lazy people who can't be fired, and is reacting to you accordingly.

The staff at my children's schools have all been competent at their jobs. Do they greet me with a hug and a muffin? Nope. But I don't expect them to.

I'm not the OP. My kids have never been in private school so I doubt the front staff would sense that about me. My kids have been to multiple schools over the years and I know there are many people who work in the front offices that are friendly and professional and welcoming. The ones who are not are unpleasant to most parents, not just me. They're also incompetent when it suits them. It's inexcusable. They should be fired. I don't muffins or a hug, thanks, but I would like to feel welcome in my kids' school. I've felt that at other schools and I miss it.