Did your parents (step or otherwise) pay for your college? Will you pay for your kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents paid for my education. I was not a particularly serious student and I had an art major, not because I had dreams of being an artist but because it was fun. My mother was a trailblazing systems engineer in her day (so stem before stem was cool) and her advice to me was to study something that interested me and success would follow.

I am now a successful lawyer doing work in the public interest. My way was roundabout but had my parents not supported me through college it would have been a much tougher road and I might not have gotten here.

I will not demand my kids have it all figured out at 18 and I will support them with what I think they need.

How did you pay for law school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Asians pay for, their children but only for useful degrees. The whites care only about themselves and pay if they have extra money, very selfish .

Culture is different. In the Asian culture children are expected to take care of parents when they are old. Whites don't necessarily have that kind of expectation. My case was different - I'm Asian. Parents helped me some; I got some grants, and I worked. I was making good money when I got married, so parents didn't pay for my wedding, but they did buy my DH his suit (a very nice one).

Both my DH and I worked throughout college, and I agree that it does benefit the kid to work throughout college, as others have stated "have a stake in it". We will pay some, but they will have to work and pay for some as well. As for wedding, I'm hoping my DCs don't get married too young, and so by the time they do, they will have their own $ to pay for some of their wedding. We can chip in.

[Anonymous]

I can't help but think that many of the PPs have no idea how the system works. Please consider:

Students can't borrow more than $27k TOTAL (over 4 years) on their own. Any additional loans will need to be in the parents names or consigned by the parents. Consider that 4 years of tuition (not including room and board) at GMU or UMD for an instate resident is currently $40k. Even if your child lives at home, it will be a stretch to finance this without some help from parents.

Colleges expect parents to contribute. Students cannot qualify for financial aid without submitting info about their parents financials. You may not intend to help pay for college, but if the college determines that you are able to assist, that will be used to lower any financial award. Students are considered independent only if they are 24 or older, in grad school, married, or have children, or if they are orphans, wards of the state, or active or retired military.

Most of the top tier colleges give ONLY financial aid to students depending on their families' need, as determined by the college. Financial aid has NOTHING to do with good grades. There are no "scholarships" to these schools.

Many less selective colleges DO give scholarships based on merit, but in most cases, the amount given is a fraction of the cost of attendance. A "full ride" is extremely rare.

[Anonymous]

My parents paid for college, though I had some small loans, some merit aid and I was expected to work part time during the academic year and FT every summer. They did not pay for law school-- they made it clear that they were done, tho they helped in small ways (gave me their ancient car; picked up interest on college loans while I was in school.) I definitely plan to pay for my kids' college costs. I will help with grad school if they want to go and i can afford it.

[Anonymous]

My parents paid and took on loans to afford my private college. I'd pay for my child's.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't help but think that many of the PPs have no idea how the system works. Please consider:

Students can't borrow more than $27k TOTAL (over 4 years) on their own. Any additional loans will need to be in the parents names or consigned by the parents. Consider that 4 years of tuition (not including room and board) at GMU or UMD for an instate resident is currently $40k. Even if your child lives at home, it will be a stretch to finance this without some help from parents.

Colleges expect parents to contribute. Students cannot qualify for financial aid without submitting info about their parents financials. You may not intend to help pay for college, but if the college determines that you are able to assist, that will be used to lower any financial award. Students are considered independent only if they are 24 or older, in grad school, married, or have children, or if they are orphans, wards of the state, or active or retired military.

Most of the top tier colleges give ONLY financial aid to students depending on their families' need, as determined by the college. Financial aid has NOTHING to do with good grades. There are no "scholarships" to these schools.

Many less selective colleges DO give scholarships based on merit, but in most cases, the amount given is a fraction of the cost of attendance. A "full ride" is extremely rare.

What is your point?
I am not being snarky. You do realize that, especially in today's economy, a lot if families are struggling to finance the NOW and cannot finance college in the future. It us great if folks can pay or help pay, but if not that does not necessarily mean that kid is doomed of their parents are remiss in some way.

[Anonymous]

My parents had saved enough for 4 years of in state school. I chose to go out of state, realizing I would be responsible for the difference. I chose to graduate early so as not to incur any debt. I got a great job, and was able to pay cash for my masters while working full time. My sister chose to attend a lesser school that offered a full ride, and save the money for grad school. Both of us finished our educations debt free.

I hope to be able to give the same gift to my son. It is why we are only having one child. I don't think funding two degrees is possible for us.

[Anonymous]

23:31 Very good post. Thanks for the comprehensive information.

08:34 You are ridiculous. Someone is providing important factual information.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't help but think that many of the PPs have no idea how the system works. Please consider:

Students can't borrow more than $27k TOTAL (over 4 years) on their own. Any additional loans will need to be in the parents names or consigned by the parents. Consider that 4 years of tuition (not including room and board) at GMU or UMD for an instate resident is currently $40k. Even if your child lives at home, it will be a stretch to finance this without some help from parents.

Colleges expect parents to contribute. Students cannot qualify for financial aid without submitting info about their parents financials. You may not intend to help pay for college, but if the college determines that you are able to assist, that will be used to lower any financial award. Students are considered independent only if they are 24 or older, in grad school, married, or have children, or if they are orphans, wards of the state, or active or retired military.

Most of the top tier colleges give ONLY financial aid to students depending on their families' need, as determined by the college. Financial aid has NOTHING to do with good grades. There are no "scholarships" to these schools.

Many less selective colleges DO give scholarships based on merit, but in most cases, the amount given is a fraction of the cost of attendance. A "full ride" is extremely rare.

What is your point?
I am not being snarky. You do realize that, especially in today's economy, a lot if families are struggling to finance the NOW and cannot finance college in the future. It us great if folks can pay or help pay, but if not that does not necessarily mean that kid is doomed of their parents are remiss in some way.

My point is that parents of reasonable means are fooling themselves if they think it will be easy for their children to put themselves through college today. Their children will be denied financial assistance, because colleges do not care if you don't want to pay or think it is character building for kids to do it themselves. Financing a 4 year degree on a minimum wage job is nigh on to impossible. And students aren't allowed to borrow enough money on their on to cover tuition costs even at state schools. It may be possible to do it by going to community college and doing it over several years so one can work more hours.

Parents should understand what their kids face when they decide they won't pay for college. That's my point. If you CANT pay for, that's one thing. But I don't recall any of the PPs above saying they can't help. What I see a lot of is "I WONT help." That's not the same thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't help but think that many of the PPs have no idea how the system works. Please consider:

Students can't borrow more than $27k TOTAL (over 4 years) on their own. Any additional loans will need to be in the parents names or consigned by the parents. Consider that 4 years of tuition (not including room and board) at GMU or UMD for an instate resident is currently $40k. Even if your child lives at home, it will be a stretch to finance this without some help from parents.

Colleges expect parents to contribute. Students cannot qualify for financial aid without submitting info about their parents financials. You may not intend to help pay for college, but if the college determines that you are able to assist, that will be used to lower any financial award. Students are considered independent only if they are 24 or older, in grad school, married, or have children, or if they are orphans, wards of the state, or active or retired military.

Most of the top tier colleges give ONLY financial aid to students depending on their families' need, as determined by the college. Financial aid has NOTHING to do with good grades. There are no "scholarships" to these schools.

Many less selective colleges DO give scholarships based on merit, but in most cases, the amount given is a fraction of the cost of attendance. A "full ride" is extremely rare.

exactly what I was thinking

[Anonymous]

This is the OP. 23:31 is spot on, and that's why I asked on page 1 whether a parent would cosign a loan. I do think many people are unfamiliar with how college financing and scholarships work out these days. I appreciate the thoughtful replies on this thread.

[Anonymous]

18 is too young for college. Kids should work or travel or join the army or something first. Grow up some.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't help but think that many of the PPs have no idea how the system works. Please consider:

Students can't borrow more than $27k TOTAL (over 4 years) on their own. Any additional loans will need to be in the parents names or consigned by the parents. Consider that 4 years of tuition (not including room and board) at GMU or UMD for an instate resident is currently $40k. Even if your child lives at home, it will be a stretch to finance this without some help from parents.

Colleges expect parents to contribute. Students cannot qualify for financial aid without submitting info about their parents financials. You may not intend to help pay for college, but if the college determines that you are able to assist, that will be used to lower any financial award. Students are considered independent only if they are 24 or older, in grad school, married, or have children, or if they are orphans, wards of the state, or active or retired military.

Most of the top tier colleges give ONLY financial aid to students depending on their families' need, as determined by the college. Financial aid has NOTHING to do with good grades. There are no "scholarships" to these schools.

Many less selective colleges DO give scholarships based on merit, but in most cases, the amount given is a fraction of the cost of attendance. A "full ride" is extremely rare.

What is your point?
I am not being snarky. You do realize that, especially in today's economy, a lot if families are struggling to finance the NOW and cannot finance college in the future. It us great if folks can pay or help pay, but if not that does not necessarily mean that kid is doomed of their parents are remiss in some way.

My point is that parents of reasonable means are fooling themselves if they think it will be easy for their children to put themselves through college today. Their children will be denied financial assistance, because colleges do not care if you don't want to pay or think it is character building for kids to do it themselves. Financing a 4 year degree on a minimum wage job is nigh on to impossible. And students aren't allowed to borrow enough money on their on to cover tuition costs even at state schools. It may be possible to do it by going to community college and doing it over several years so one can work more hours.

Parents should understand what their kids face when they decide they won't pay for college. That's my point. If you CANT pay for, that's one thing. But I don't recall any of the PPs above saying they can't help. What I see a lot of is "I WONT help." That's not the same thing.

Thank you for the useful post!

At my top ten law school, we were not allowed to have jobs as 1Ls. Not sure how these parents who refuse to help pay for graduate school expect their kids to pay for law school, med school, etc. without mortgaging the rest of their life for an education.

[Anonymous]

"At my top ten law school, we were not allowed to have jobs as 1Ls."

We were permitted to work for paying jobs up to 20 hours per week in all Ls, but this wasn't strictly enforced in the mid 1980s (when I attended).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"At my top ten law school, we were not allowed to have jobs as 1Ls."

We were permitted to work for paying jobs up to 20 hours per week in all Ls, but this wasn't strictly enforced in the mid 1980s (when I attended).

I attended in the 90ties. They made us sign a contract.