Did your parents (step or otherwise) pay for your college? Will you pay for your kids?

[Anonymous]

My parents paid for my expensive education and I did not take advantage of this tremendous opportunity. I will pay for a substantial portion of our child's education, but she will be working and on the hook enough to have some skin in the game.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents and DH's parents both paid for private college for two kids. This made it possible for us to focus on studying and break into academia. Our kids get a free ride to college as children of faculty.

If you're tenured and don't lose your job before they go to school. And they have to go to the school you work at? Sucks they can't choose where they want to go.

At the college where I work they get a larger amount paid if they attend there, but still get a sizeable tuition discount if they go to any other accredited college. Honestly, this tuition benefit is the best part of my job.

[Anonymous]

Asians pay for, their children but only for useful degrees. The whites care only about themselves and pay if they have extra money, very selfish .

[Anonymous]

White person here. My parents did not pay. I worked two jobs through most of my college education. It was very hard and I had a combination of scholarships, government student loans, private student loans, and (once I could prove self-sufficient) I received Pell Grants.
My parents have promised to help me pay back my loans now- I have been out of school for 8 years. They have been paying on one loan since 2013 which has been very helpful.
I don't take any of my education for granted and eventually put myself through graduate school as well. This has given me a lot of help in my career. However I don't ever want my children to feel the financial burden that I have had to face. I plan to help my children to the fullest extent possible and without regret. While I don't have it all figured out, being open about my experiences with my children and helping them determine what is financially feasible and realistic will ultimately be my plan. Knowing what degree you're going after, determining the salary range (and cap), and what you need to succeed further will be part of my goal for them. They must work part-time in school until they're at a point of "thesis" or other time-consuming cumulative work in their degree. Summers are for additional credit hours and work.
I know where the "skin in the game" statement came from, Dave Ramsey, and while on some levels I agree (and I also listen to his show everyday)- I also think it comes from a place of superiority and smugness which I don't agree with.

[Anonymous]

My parents paid for my college and I'm going to do the same for my kid. I don't want her to start life with significant debt.

[Anonymous]

My parents paid for everything for my undergrad education and we split grad school expenses about 50/50 (I saved up before hand, worked through out, earned scholarships, etc) - some of that help was actually inheritance from a grandparent.

My husband was the scholarship kid for undergrad and did a combo of scholarships, work, and loans for grad.

We hope to fully fund undergrad at a public university for all the kids - though we probably won't give an allowance, so they'll need a job for eating out, study abroad expenses, club dues, etc. We aren't planning to fund grad school but if they got scholarships for undergrad and there's money left over in the 529, they can use that for grad school, live at home, etc - we'll help out how we can, but have no intention to fully bank role the graduate degree.

[Anonymous]

I was lucky to get a full scholarship for undergrad and partial scholarships for grad school and I paid for the rest with money saved up from jobs.

My parents could NEVER have afforded college. We were on the brink of poverty for almost my entire childhood. We qualified for free school lunches, for example. (My mom made my lunch instead).

Having grown up this way, I feel like I want my child to learn how to think about money way ahead of time and save for things that she someday wants. We will likely not be able to pay for her college, but I would contribute any amount I could and would pay for it in full if I could.

For me the issue would be not who paid for the degrees, but are the degrees beneficial and is the student motivated. I was not any less motivated because I got a performance scholarship and a merit gpa based partial scholarship. I still feel that while I "earned" those I still was given a gift. I was super lucky and super appreciative.

Who pays for college degrees is just one of many factors that determine a persons future prospects and attitudes. I feel that maybe its worth treating these things on a case by case basis. Pay for a four year degree for an unmotivated student to get C's and party? I would hope not, but I know that happens. That I would not do. But if my kid was a serious student pursuing something that makes sense and makes her happy, and I could do it, I would do it.

[Anonymous]

My parents paid for my education. I was not a particularly serious student and I had an art major, not because I had dreams of being an artist but because it was fun. My mother was a trailblazing systems engineer in her day (so stem before stem was cool) and her advice to me was to study something that interested me and success would follow.

I am now a successful lawyer doing work in the public interest. My way was roundabout but had my parents not supported me through college it would have been a much tougher road and I might not have gotten here.

I will not demand my kids have it all figured out at 18 and I will support them with what I think they need.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Who pays for college degrees is just one of many factors that determine a persons future prospects and attitudes. I feel that maybe its worth treating these things on a case by case basis. Pay for a four year degree for an unmotivated student to get C's and party? I would hope not, but I know that happens. That I would not do. But if my kid was a serious student pursuing something that makes sense and makes her happy, and I could do it, I would do it.

Right - my parents almost brought me home after I had one semester where I got a couple C's. It was a fluke semester, honestly (it wasn't due to partying), but they were very serious about not continuing to pay for my private university if I wasn't at least bringing home B's.

I will probably do the same - screw around and the support stops. I expect my children to attend school, and I am going to try my damndest to give them a debt-free start in life, but it really does have to be situational.

My parents didn't care what I studied, honestly. I want my children to pursue their interests and not just pick something that makes a ton of money for the sake of making money. Life isn't all about making a ton of money. HOWEVER, I do expect them to find a way to be independent post-college. I think there is a happy medium between business degrees and basket weaving that will allow a child to make a living for themselves.

I have made it entirely clear to my current child that living at home at almost 40 like my BIL is NOT acceptable. Go out there, get a job, live with 10 roommates if you have to, but living with us as an adult (post college) is not an option, kiddo!

[Anonymous]

I paid for my own beyond the scholarships. I am now paying for grad school.

I had 2 siblings get the GI bill and go on that and a sister who went the same way I did.

My dad got his bachelors and masters covered by the GI Bill (Vietnam Era) and my mom paid for her bachelors and masters.

I will not pay for my children's degrees. They'll know this going into high school so they understand they need to work for good grades, apply for scholarships, and save money with summer and part time jobs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I understand that, due to inflation, it's no longer financially feasible for an 18-year-old to put himself/herself through a four-year college full-time on his/her dime by employment alone.

My answer to my thread query: My parents did not pay for our college educations. We are now 52, 50, 46, and 44.

I paid for half of my oldest child's degree (she chose a private college and took on some loans). I'm paying 100% for my 20-year-old's degree (she's at a public university). I'm paying nothing for my son, because he was awarded a full ride. For my last child, I intend to pay 100% for a public college and up to that amount toward a private college.

Tangential to the original question, how do you feel about this topic? I was stressed as a young adult paying for school, and I finished my education by working full-time and going to college at night to complete my B.A. I don't feel resentful toward my parents. I clearly decided to contribute toward my own kids' educations, though.

My parent saved and paid for both my and my sisters undergraduate college. We were responsible for our spending money. This was in the 1980's. Dh had a scholarship that paid for the first two years and a co=op that help pay for the next two years, his parents paid for the net. His parents paid for all four of their children's college (some 100% some like DH much less).

It was great to graduate without any loans and it enabled both DH and I (independently as we didn't meet until later) to pursue opportunities that would not have been practical or prudent if we had had loans to repay. We have always felt that it was our responsibility to pay it forward and we started saving before we had children. So we planned well ahead. Fast forward and we have two children in HS. We are on target to be able to pay for almost all contingencies.

Like myself and DH, our children will be responsible for their pin money and we will try for merit scholarships. However, we do not intend for their college choices to be completely without attention to cost. They know that if they go to in state schools or work hard and earn merit aid, there will be money left over for grad school or other things (travel?, transportation?, parents spending more in retirement ) It really will be a case by case to see what is the best fit for the best cost. Both have some special issues that will have to be accounted and that make the college choice more complicated.

[Anonymous]

My parents paid about 75% of my private undergrad, and I worked throughout college to pay the remainder. They did not pay at all for law school, beyond periodically sending me a little spending money. I'm 15 years out of law school, and have about 5 more years until my loan is paid off.

We plan to mostly fund DS's college, but will likely have him contribute some as well. We have no plans to pay for grad school for him, but might pick up some depending on our financial ability.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They paid for me. I will pay for mine.

+1

[Anonymous]

My parents did not pay a dime. It took me six years because I was working full-time for the majority of my undergrad career. Grad school and law school paid for by me (still paying!). DH and I only have one child, and we will try our best to completely foot the bill for her college. Her spending money will be earned by her but all else (tuition, room, board, books) will be covered by us if at all possible. Of course, I expect that we'll decide as a family which college acceptance makes the most sense. So no $70k/year kind of places, assuming tuition, etc. is that high by the time my preschooler is ready for college!

[Anonymous]

My parents paid undergrad 100% for me and my siblings. My husband's mom paid his 100%, too. We are planning to pay for all of our kids' tuition, too. I did not take school any less seriously because my parents paid. In fact, I remember thinking how much my dad sacrificed for me to be there which made me work harder (he never went to college and worked nights to save for his kids' college educations among other things).