He is all boy

[Anonymous]

I have boys and I will be the first to say my 2 are 'all boy'. They are athletic, rough and tumble, lots of physical energy, and hear selectively. These are the most universally accepted traits of males.

I'm clearly distinguishing them from some boys that have different demeanors that are not as universally characterized. More quiet, less physical energy, not into the outdoors. There is nothing wrong with these other boys, they just don't fit the stereotypical mold.

And that's just it, it's a widely accepted stereotype so when someone says "all boy" you know what they are talking about.

No need to get so defensive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This. In junior high I was forced to play football and basketball with the boys in our co-ed gym class. I was miserable. I threw like a girl and was proud of it. I had no desire to play like a boy. Nothing wrong with saying you kid is all boy or all girl. If I had a girl and she lived the pretty princess stuff and someone called her all girl I'd say yes, seems to be very true. We gave general gender differentiation a for a reason; otherwise, we'd die out as a species.

We'd die out as a species if girls didn't like pink frilly things and boys didn't like trucks? For most of human history, there haven't been pink frilly things or trucks.

Of course not. But you cannot deny there are indeed basic gender differences; unless you're a straight female and you think the Honey Badger guy's voice is very sexy and you'd jump into the sack with him in a minute just based on his voice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
The fact that you find those "boy traits" unflattering is why school is so hard on boys. Boys really need to do things like run around a lot more than girls do. They naturally swing sticks around too. There is nothing wrong with it. If you look at any playground you can see this. Sure there are girls who will also be running around, but for the most part, boys need WAY more exercise than girls do. They NEED it. If they are forced to sit still, then their inability to do that may be seen as "wild hellion" behavior but that is grossly unfair to them and just shows how little you understand boys. If you forced your DD to run around the same amount to make things even, instead of forcing boys to tone it down, it would be cruel.

PP, do you think it's all nature (or God's design)? None of it has to do with society's expectations and the way we raise children? Because that's not what the science says.

Males and females genetically different. That's a fact. We have different hormones/hormone levels. That's also a fact. How in the world could this NOT have any effect on how we behave? Of course it does.

Um, the big difference in hormones and hormone levels happens in puberty, not at a year old or 2 years old or even 3 or 4 or 5 a

And even then, it doesn't have to have a huge impact on behavior outside of sexual impulses. I mean, in the workplace, if a man hits another person, it's not like, "Oh, he's all boy!" And it is in puberty, adolescence and adulthood when the hormonal differences are most pronounced. But that doesn't justify or excuse aggressive behavior.

Pick up a copy of Why Gender Matters by Sax - eye opening and answers so many questions about how and why boy and girls are so very different.

There's also a good chapter on kids who don't tend to the norms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son is in a school that bans media (waldorf). Now, the parents don't live up to it 100%, but these kids watch A LOT less than other kids. They do live in our culture and so aren't completely exempt from gender norms, but it is amazing what you see on the playground - all the kids playing together in very similar ways. Biological differences do not manifest themselves in the ways we think they do (trucks on the one hand and tutus on the other is a great example of our nonsensical gender norming). Much of this stuff is learned though media.

That said. I still think you should just smile and say, "sometimes."

Is the end goal to have us all male and female dress alike and have similar social expectations and duties a la 1984? Will everyone feel better then?

No, the goal is to let individual boys and girls be individuals without forcing on them a conception of what a girl or a boy should and shouldn't like. And yes, I do think expectations of appropriate behavior should be the same for all kids (i.e. it isn't acceptable to be aggressive and out of control even if your are "all boy").

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
The fact that you find those "boy traits" unflattering is why school is so hard on boys. Boys really need to do things like run around a lot more than girls do. They naturally swing sticks around too. There is nothing wrong with it. If you look at any playground you can see this. Sure there are girls who will also be running around, but for the most part, boys need WAY more exercise than girls do. They NEED it. If they are forced to sit still, then their inability to do that may be seen as "wild hellion" behavior but that is grossly unfair to them and just shows how little you understand boys. If you forced your DD to run around the same amount to make things even, instead of forcing boys to tone it down, it would be cruel.

PP, do you think it's all nature (or God's design)? None of it has to do with society's expectations and the way we raise children? Because that's not what the science says.

Males and females genetically different. That's a fact. We have different hormones/hormone levels. That's also a fact. How in the world could this NOT have any effect on how we behave? Of course it does.

Um, the big difference in hormones and hormone levels happens in puberty, not at a year old or 2 years old or even 3 or 4 or 5 a

And even then, it doesn't have to have a huge impact on behavior outside of sexual impulses. I mean, in the workplace, if a man hits another person, it's not like, "Oh, he's all boy!" And it is in puberty, adolescence and adulthood when the hormonal differences are most pronounced. But that doesn't justify or excuse aggressive behavior.

Or there's just too much BPA in our lives messing with our kids' endocrine systems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I have boys and I will be the first to say my 2 are 'all boy'. They are athletic, rough and tumble, lots of physical energy, and hear selectively. These are the most universally accepted traits of males.

I'm clearly distinguishing them from some boys that have different demeanors that are not as universally characterized. More quiet, less physical energy, not into the outdoors. There is nothing wrong with these other boys, they just don't fit the stereotypical mold.

And that's just it, it's a widely accepted stereotype so when someone says "all boy" you know what they are talking about.

No need to get so defensive.

totally agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Pick up a copy of Why Gender Matters by Sax - eye opening and answers so many questions about how and why boy and girls are so very different.

There's also a good chapter on kids who don't tend to the norms.

Leonard Sax doesn't know what he's talking about, when it comes to science. For example, Leonard Sax claims that science shows that boys and girls hear differently. Does the science actually show this? Nope.

http://itre.cis.upenn.edu/~myl/languagelog/archives/003487.html

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
The fact that you find those "boy traits" unflattering is why school is so hard on boys. Boys really need to do things like run around a lot more than girls do. They naturally swing sticks around too. There is nothing wrong with it. If you look at any playground you can see this. Sure there are girls who will also be running around, but for the most part, boys need WAY more exercise than girls do. They NEED it. If they are forced to sit still, then their inability to do that may be seen as "wild hellion" behavior but that is grossly unfair to them and just shows how little you understand boys. If you forced your DD to run around the same amount to make things even, instead of forcing boys to tone it down, it would be cruel.

PP, do you think it's all nature (or God's design)? None of it has to do with society's expectations and the way we raise children? Because that's not what the science says.

Males and females genetically different. That's a fact. We have different hormones/hormone levels. That's also a fact. How in the world could this NOT have any effect on how we behave? Of course it does.

Um, the big difference in hormones and hormone levels happens in puberty, not at a year old or 2 years old or even 3 or 4 or 5 a

And even then, it doesn't have to have a huge impact on behavior outside of sexual impulses. I mean, in the workplace, if a man hits another person, it's not like, "Oh, he's all boy!" And it is in puberty, adolescence and adulthood when the hormonal differences are most pronounced. But that doesn't justify or excuse aggressive behavior.

Pick up a copy of Why Gender Matters by Sax - eye opening and answers so many questions about how and why boy and girls are so very different.

There's also a good chapter on kids who don't tend to the norms.

There isn't agreement in the field about what Sax argues or advocates. He is well known for being an advocate of single-sex schools. Not all researches agree with the conclusions he reaches and some believe that the differences are, as I stated, more pronounced in adolescent and adult brains than they are in the brains of small children.

Not to mention, some of his claims focus on research of TEENAGERS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I have boys and I will be the first to say my 2 are 'all boy'. They are athletic, rough and tumble, lots of physical energy, and hear selectively. These are the most universally accepted traits of males.

I'm clearly distinguishing them from some boys that have different demeanors that are not as universally characterized. More quiet, less physical energy, not into the outdoors. There is nothing wrong with these other boys, they just don't fit the stereotypical mold.

And that's just it, it's a widely accepted stereotype so when someone says "all boy" you know what they are talking about.

No need to get so defensive.

These are the most universally accepted traits of males, in the US, in the 20th-21st centuries. (Except for the "hearing selectively" part.) In other times and places? Not so much. Which kind of makes a person wonder about the role of society vs. the role of genes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I have boys and I will be the first to say my 2 are 'all boy'. They are athletic, rough and tumble, lots of physical energy, and hear selectively. These are the most universally accepted traits of males.

I'm clearly distinguishing them from some boys that have different demeanors that are not as universally characterized. More quiet, less physical energy, not into the outdoors. There is nothing wrong with these other boys, they just don't fit the stereotypical mold.

And that's just it, it's a widely accepted stereotype so when someone says "all boy" you know what they are talking about.

No need to get so defensive.

So are boys who are not athletic not "all boy"? Do you not see how obnoxious and offensive that is? Or all you be "all girl" by being passive aggressive?

[Anonymous]

meant ARE you being "all girl" by being passive aggressive? Stupid keyboard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I have boys and I will be the first to say my 2 are 'all boy'. They are athletic, rough and tumble, lots of physical energy, and hear selectively. These are the most universally accepted traits of males.

I'm clearly distinguishing them from some boys that have different demeanors that are not as universally characterized. More quiet, less physical energy, not into the outdoors. There is nothing wrong with these other boys, they just don't fit the stereotypical mold.

And that's just it, it's a widely accepted stereotype so when someone says "all boy" you know what they are talking about.

No need to get so defensive.

So are boys who are not athletic not "all boy"? Do you not see how obnoxious and offensive that is? Or all you be "all girl" by being passive aggressive?

Are you purposely being obtuse? (not pp) Being athletic is a stereotypically boyish thing. Denying that doesn't make it less true. It doesn't mean that boys who aren't athletic aren't boys, that girls who are athletic are boys or aren't girls, etc. GOOD LORD PEOPLE.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I have boys and I will be the first to say my 2 are 'all boy'. They are athletic, rough and tumble, lots of physical energy, and hear selectively. These are the most universally accepted traits of males.

I'm clearly distinguishing them from some boys that have different demeanors that are not as universally characterized. More quiet, less physical energy, not into the outdoors. There is nothing wrong with these other boys, they just don't fit the stereotypical mold.

And that's just it, it's a widely accepted stereotype so when someone says "all boy" you know what they are talking about.

No need to get so defensive.

And I'm not getting defensive. I don't have children. But every.single.woman who has used the "my son is all boy!" excuse used it justify obnoxious, borderline violent and aggressive behavior. I disagree with the notion that having a temper and a lack of self control as an essential "boy" characteristic.

It's like an abused wife whose husband punched her in the face saying, "my husband is all man!"

[Anonymous]

When an older relative of ours says that our son is "all boy," it is clearly code for "not gay." Offensive.

[Anonymous]

I hear this at least twice a month. I think sometime it is said in a fun way and other times it is a subtle insult. I always take it as a compliment. To me it is a sign of his robustness and health. Why not take it as a compliment or innocent observation and move on?