He is all boy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I don't have sons (I don't have kids), so this actually isn't about me at all.

But I do know men who were made to feel "less than" because they weren't athletic. I also know gay men who had experiences where sayings like that were definitely used in a homophobic context.

I hope you realize that most of us are rolling our eyes at parenting advice (on a parenting forum no less) from a non-parent.

Equivalent to me going to the pets forum and having no dogs or cats or any pets for that matter and have never having had any, but I've seen enough of them and they're owners outside to give advice on the topic and tell the pet owners (and they're not brand new owners) what they're doing right and wrong.

PP is not offering parenting advice. PP is offering social commentary. As a member of society, PP is just as qualified to do this as any other member of society.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I don't have sons (I don't have kids), so this actually isn't about me at all.

But I do know men who were made to feel "less than" because they weren't athletic. I also know gay men who had experiences where sayings like that were definitely used in a homophobic context.

I hope you realize that most of us are rolling our eyes at parenting advice (on a parenting forum no less) from a non-parent.

Equivalent to me going to the pets forum and having no dogs or cats or any pets for that matter and have never having had any, but I've seen enough of them and they're owners outside to give advice on the topic and tell the pet owners (and they're not brand new owners) what they're doing right and wrong.

PP is not offering parenting advice. PP is offering social commentary. As a member of society, PP is just as qualified to do this as any other member of society.

No, she can't say, "I was surprised to learn that boys actually WILL be boys -- who knew!" the way a parent can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Stereotypes are by definition about most people. I really don't think we live in a culture where people are expected to conform to stereotypes anymore.

That is because you conform to them. Ask somebody who doesn't conform to them what their opinion is.

I don't conform to stereotypes!! And I am surprised to have boys who do.

[Anonymous]

So if not "all boy" or "girly girl", what do you say as a gesture? She's just a little lady or he's a big boy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So if not "all boy" or "girly girl", what do you say as a gesture? She's just a little lady or he's a big boy?

Someone already started a thread about how offensive she found it when strangers mentioned her boy was big. Any other suggestions?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So if not "all boy" or "girly girl", what do you say as a gesture? She's just a little lady or he's a big boy?

The phrase doesn't bother me. But "high energy boy/girl" "well mannered boy/girl" is less likely to lead to a posting on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are the boys playing tackle football during recess at your child's school? They sure aren't at mine (MCPS). But not because of gender norms. Because tackling is one of the long list of things the children are not allowed to do during recess.

No, of course my boys don't go to MCPS.. They go to an all boys school where they are allowed to be boys. Yes, they play tackle fottball.

See, now I am confused. About half of the children in my child's class at my child's MCPS school are boys. They are boys before school, they are boys during school, they are boys after school, they know they are boys, everybody knows they are boys, there's no secret -- there they are, all day long, boys being boys. At what school are boys not allowed to be boys? Girls' schools?

No. They are told to sit down be quiet and act like a girl all day. Many studies show schools are girl oriented. Boys work better in groups and not in lecture/worksheet environments.

When they act like a boy the are told they are loud and rough and ill behaved or ADHD.

At MCPS boys are not allowed to be boys... When they are all boy... The 1/2 boys are fine.

So what happens when they are adults and have to get a job that, wait for it, involves sitting most of the day and behaving and not acting out? Or is that work only suited for women?

Sitting down and being quiet isn't "acting like a girl." And lots of girls have trouble with it, too.

Your post is revealing, though. I'm guessing your kids are unruly, but you justify it with "boys being boys" or "they're all boy!" Ugh.

Normal human development and puberty takes care of that. But a 8 yo boy and a 38 yo man, very different. Maybe more men would stop acting like boys if they were ever allowed to be only when they were one.

But your thinking has led to the feminization of boys. (And of tom boys)

Wow. And what is that exactly? What is your definition of a "feminized boy"? This ought to be good.

Google it. Educate yourself

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So if not "all boy" or "girly girl", what do you say as a gesture? She's just a little lady or he's a big boy?

Someone already started a thread about how offensive she found it when strangers mentioned her boy was big. Any other suggestions?

Big as in 10 instead of the actual age of 5 is what I mean.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So if not "all boy" or "girly girl", what do you say as a gesture? She's just a little lady or he's a big boy?

"S/he's just an active [quiet, loud, busy, creative, etc.] kid!"

It is not mandatory to reference sex. Really. We'll still understand you're talking about the small child in front of you.

[Anonymous]

People seriously need to learn to utilize their time better than obsessing on casual comments of others.

[Anonymous]

I don't have sons (I don't have kids), so this actually isn't about me at all.

But I do know men who were made to feel "less than" because they weren't athletic. I also know gay men who had experiences where sayings like that were definitely used in a homophobic context.



I hope you realize that most of us are rolling our eyes at parenting advice (on a parenting forum no less) from a non-parent.

Equivalent to me going to the pets forum and having no dogs or cats or any pets for that matter and have never having had any, but I've seen enough of them and they're owners outside to give advice on the topic and tell the pet owners (and they're not brand new owners) what they're doing right and wrong.




I'm not offering parenting advice. This is about society, stereotypes, et cetera. Not about parenting.

Similarly, even a person has no pets is free to have opinions about dogs, especially when they live in the same world and have to deal with them. I've never had a pit bull, but I firmly and solidly will argue that I have every right to have an opinion and make it known about pit bulls who live in my neighborhood.

This particular thread isn't about parenting advice, but guess what, even if it were, I'd still have a right to an opinion. Roll your eyes all you want, but it isn't like your children don't affect me, like I don't have to interact with them in the world. You get a tax break for having a kid. My taxes go to public services, like schools, for children. Roll your eyes all you want, but I get to have an opinion about things that affect me, my life, my property, my taxes.

You don't have to agree, and barring abuse, you get to parent however you want. But I still get to express myself -- in public even! or on the internet.

Roll your eyes all you want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I don't have sons (I don't have kids), so this actually isn't about me at all.

But I do know men who were made to feel "less than" because they weren't athletic. I also know gay men who had experiences where sayings like that were definitely used in a homophobic context.

I hope you realize that most of us are rolling our eyes at parenting advice (on a parenting forum no less) from a non-parent.

Equivalent to me going to the pets forum and having no dogs or cats or any pets for that matter and have never having had any, but I've seen enough of them and they're owners outside to give advice on the topic and tell the pet owners (and they're not brand new owners) what they're doing right and wrong.

PP is not offering parenting advice. PP is offering social commentary. As a member of society, PP is just as qualified to do this as any other member of society.

No, she can't say, "I was surprised to learn that boys actually WILL be boys -- who knew!" the way a parent can.

Or an aunt, an uncle, a friend who spends a lot of time with her friends' young children (and has since their births), someone who was once a nanny, who has worked with children...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are the boys playing tackle football during recess at your child's school? They sure aren't at mine (MCPS). But not because of gender norms. Because tackling is one of the long list of things the children are not allowed to do during recess.

No, of course my boys don't go to MCPS.. They go to an all boys school where they are allowed to be boys. Yes, they play tackle fottball.

See, now I am confused. About half of the children in my child's class at my child's MCPS school are boys. They are boys before school, they are boys during school, they are boys after school, they know they are boys, everybody knows they are boys, there's no secret -- there they are, all day long, boys being boys. At what school are boys not allowed to be boys? Girls' schools?

No. They are told to sit down be quiet and act like a girl all day. Many studies show schools are girl oriented. Boys work better in groups and not in lecture/worksheet environments.

When they act like a boy the are told they are loud and rough and ill behaved or ADHD.

At MCPS boys are not allowed to be boys... When they are all boy... The 1/2 boys are fine.

So what happens when they are adults and have to get a job that, wait for it, involves sitting most of the day and behaving and not acting out? Or is that work only suited for women?

Sitting down and being quiet isn't "acting like a girl." And lots of girls have trouble with it, too.

Your post is revealing, though. I'm guessing your kids are unruly, but you justify it with "boys being boys" or "they're all boy!" Ugh.

Normal human development and puberty takes care of that. But a 8 yo boy and a 38 yo man, very different. Maybe more men would stop acting like boys if they were ever allowed to be only when they were one.

But your thinking has led to the feminization of boys. (And of tom boys)

Are you the same PP who insists she didn't make her boys like trucks?

If so, you are suggesting that your boys like normal boy things, and you had no influence.

But people with boys who don't like normal boy things somehow "feminized" them?

No. I am not. One of my boys liked trucks. I only knew that because he would make me stop and watch the tucks down the street where a house was being built.

I don't think it is about what they like. I think it is about how the act, interact, learn, etc.

Yes. People make boys feel bad when they act like boys. They say stuff like, "look at Larla, she is sitting so quiet, why don't you be a GOOD boy and sit quiet like Larla."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are the boys playing tackle football during recess at your child's school? They sure aren't at mine (MCPS). But not because of gender norms. Because tackling is one of the long list of things the children are not allowed to do during recess.

No, of course my boys don't go to MCPS.. They go to an all boys school where they are allowed to be boys. Yes, they play tackle fottball.

See, now I am confused. About half of the children in my child's class at my child's MCPS school are boys. They are boys before school, they are boys during school, they are boys after school, they know they are boys, everybody knows they are boys, there's no secret -- there they are, all day long, boys being boys. At what school are boys not allowed to be boys? Girls' schools?

No. They are told to sit down be quiet and act like a girl all day. Many studies show schools are girl oriented. Boys work better in groups and not in lecture/worksheet environments.

When they act like a boy the are told they are loud and rough and ill behaved or ADHD.

At MCPS boys are not allowed to be boys... When they are all boy... The 1/2 boys are fine.

So what happens when they are adults and have to get a job that, wait for it, involves sitting most of the day and behaving and not acting out? Or is that work only suited for women?

Sitting down and being quiet isn't "acting like a girl." And lots of girls have trouble with it, too.

Your post is revealing, though. I'm guessing your kids are unruly, but you justify it with "boys being boys" or "they're all boy!" Ugh.

Normal human development and puberty takes care of that. But a 8 yo boy and a 38 yo man, very different. Maybe more men would stop acting like boys if they were ever allowed to be only when they were one.

But your thinking has led to the feminization of boys. (And of tom boys)

Wow. And what is that exactly? What is your definition of a "feminized boy"? This ought to be good.

Google it. Educate yourself

http://books.google.com/books?id=gQUzTfVXpf0C&pg=PA46&lpg=PA46&dq=critique+of+feminization+of+men+1900s&source=bl&ots=2C-RpHoURe&sig=5nTCI7EmIAWjx6YwGeAotQTTXKM&hl=en&sa=X&ei=MixMU9-JKM-vsQTQzoHQAQ&ved=0CEQQ6AEwAzgK#v=onepage&q=critique%20of%20feminization%20of%20men%201900s&f=false

Notice all this talk of femininzed boys and men happening at the turn of the century. This is not a new conversation. Masculinity is always in crisis; boys are always being feminized by overbearing mothers or whatever frightens people at the time (immigrants then, nanny state/educational system now). Ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It was a rhetorical question. Obviously I know what I means. Just saying it's a really stupid phrase.

Come on, OP. You know very well what it means. This is such a tired, tedious subject. It's not 1972 is it?

WTF! As someone who was born in 1972, I'm so upset to see this as the "old" date that is used.

1972 is now the "It is not 1950"

Assholes.