Schools with a kind culture

[Anonymous]

Second Christ Episcopal (k-8)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How come NCS or STA haven't been mentioned?

Whether it's deserved or not, NCS has a reputation of having a culture of mean girls.

Well, there are 2-3 posters who post almost continuously trying to give it this reputation. The sheer obsession and the fact that at least obe of them attended 20 years ago tends to undermine their message, however. It's hard to know where the truth is.

Oh my, you are so wrong, it's a generally held view of everyone I know . . . hundreds of people. And yes I've been there and no way would I send my DD there. My friends are all in agreement. One tried - for a year. Nasty

Hundreds of people? Funny. I have friends whose dds go there, and only a few of them have mentioned any kind of drama at all. They seem to think their dds are getting a great education.

But then, I haven't asked "hundreds" of people, much less everyone I know, to weigh in on the question. It is beyond crazy that you have.

NP here. I'm sure they are getting a great education -- but that wasnt the question. I grew up here and even 30 years ago the school had a reputation for offering a great and rigorous education and getting the girls into great, top colleges -- but not for encouraging or emphasizing kindness.

That's okay -- different schools can have different strengths while still being good, strong schools.

[Anonymous]

I am just weighing in as a school counselor who has worked at several area schools. I think that while some schools may attract more down to earth families with solid values, a few mean girls or boys can wreck the culture of a grade at any school. I think the question to ask isn't which school is inherently kind, but how does the administration deal with bullying or social exclusivity? Is there a counseling program, and if so, do the counselors and/or psychologists have a curriculum they follow? Do they go into the classrooms? Do they also have teachers back up their message by reinforcing it through classroom activities? How do the phys ed teachers and coaches build rapport between athletic and non-athletic boys? Are there groups for kids struggling socially? Does the headmaster impose consequences for unkind behavior? Are there evening activities to educate parents about social emotional development among the kids, and to talk about cyber bullying and other concerns? In other words, this is a very loose question unless you ask for some real data.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How come NCS or STA haven't been mentioned?

Whether it's deserved or not, NCS has a reputation of having a culture of mean girls.

Well, there are 2-3 posters who post almost continuously trying to give it this reputation. The sheer obsession and the fact that at least obe of them attended 20 years ago tends to undermine their message, however. It's hard to know where the truth is.

Oh my, you are so wrong, it's a generally held view of everyone I know . . . hundreds of people. And yes I've been there and no way would I send my DD there. My friends are all in agreement. One tried - for a year. Nasty

Hundreds of people? Funny. I have friends whose dds go there, and only a few of them have mentioned any kind of drama at all. They seem to think their dds are getting a great education.

But then, I haven't asked "hundreds" of people, much less everyone I know, to weigh in on the question. It is beyond crazy that you have.

NP here. I'm sure they are getting a great education -- but that wasnt the question. I grew up here and even 30 years ago the school had a reputation for offering a great and rigorous education and getting the girls into great, top colleges -- but not for encouraging or emphasizing kindness.

That's okay -- different schools can have different strengths while still being good, strong schools.

Oh, the statement wasn't that NCS is not a school that emphasizes kindness, but that it is widely known for having a culture of mean girls. Big difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How come NCS or STA haven't been mentioned?

Whether it's deserved or not, NCS has a reputation of having a culture of mean girls.

Well, there are 2-3 posters who post almost continuously trying to give it this reputation. The sheer obsession and the fact that at least obe of them attended 20 years ago tends to undermine their message, however. It's hard to know where the truth is.

Oh my, you are so wrong, it's a generally held view of everyone I know . . . hundreds of people. And yes I've been there and no way would I send my DD there. My friends are all in agreement. One tried - for a year. Nasty

Hundreds of people? Funny. I have friends whose dds go there, and only a few of them have mentioned any kind of drama at all. They seem to think their dds are getting a great education.

But then, I haven't asked "hundreds" of people, much less everyone I know, to weigh in on the question. It is beyond crazy that you have.

Not when you've lived here all your life and are close to 60. Seen parents go through the Beavoir madness only to be rejected. Or get in to Beavoir and do all the parental duty stuff but then, surprise!, not get into St.Albans or NCA. I've put three kids through private pre-school, private k-8 and seen many try to leave to St. A or NCA, or know people who have worked in the summer admissions office and have told stories, run auctions at privates. Been in parochial schools and finally public. Have personally witnessed the type of girl NCA takes (no thank you). Done the college application process. Toured NCA twice. Knew St. Albans and NCS grads at top law school. Knew the partners at my firm whose kids went there and told stories. Warned by pediatrician whose daughter attended to avoid due to nasty girls. Was not impressed by the girls on tour: "diversity diversity diversity!" Snobbish mothers. Competing parents. I've heard it all. To say there are "just 2-3" posters is absurd. The school is vicious. And, no, i have no horse in the race. Never applied. Never rejected. Just am not impressed and would never put my daughter in such a "mean girls" environment. You do know the author of "Prep" was "housed" at St. Albans while she wrote that piece of junk? "cheese" or "fish". Lovely. Oh yes, then there is the girl on my street whose mom drove her an hour every day so she could attend. Lovely family. They lasted a year. Vicious, competitive girls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am just weighing in as a school counselor who has worked at several area schools. I think that while some schools may attract more down to earth families with solid values, a few mean girls or boys can wreck the culture of a grade at any school. I think the question to ask isn't which school is inherently kind, but how does the administration deal with bullying or social exclusivity? Is there a counseling program, and if so, do the counselors and/or psychologists have a curriculum they follow? Do they go into the classrooms? Do they also have teachers back up their message by reinforcing it through classroom activities? How do the phys ed teachers and coaches build rapport between athletic and non-athletic boys? Are there groups for kids struggling socially? Does the headmaster impose consequences for unkind behavior? Are there evening activities to educate parents about social emotional development among the kids, and to talk about cyber bullying and other concerns? In other words, this is a very loose question unless you ask for some real data.

Very wise words

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am just weighing in as a school counselor who has worked at several area schools. I think that while some schools may attract more down to earth families with solid values, a few mean girls or boys can wreck the culture of a grade at any school. I think the question to ask isn't which school is inherently kind, but how does the administration deal with bullying or social exclusivity? Is there a counseling program, and if so, do the counselors and/or psychologists have a curriculum they follow? Do they go into the classrooms? Do they also have teachers back up their message by reinforcing it through classroom activities? How do the phys ed teachers and coaches build rapport between athletic and non-athletic boys? Are there groups for kids struggling socially? Does the headmaster impose consequences for unkind behavior? Are there evening activities to educate parents about social emotional development among the kids, and to talk about cyber bullying and other concerns? In other words, this is a very loose question unless you ask for some real data.

I'm the OP and I completely agree with you. These are all questions I will ask of school staff and parents. Thank you for your thoughtful response.

I've come to understand over the past several years, though, that there are distinct school cultures (not just here but anywhere) and a certain amount of self-selection. Some schools attract very competitive parents who tend to have different metrics for their kids' "success" than I do. If you have a critical mass of those parents (and faculty/staff) you're going to see a very different school culture than what I'm looking for, KWIM? Thanks again, PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am just weighing in as a school counselor who has worked at several area schools. I think that while some schools may attract more down to earth families with solid values, a few mean girls or boys can wreck the culture of a grade at any school. I think the question to ask isn't which school is inherently kind, but how does the administration deal with bullying or social exclusivity? Is there a counseling program, and if so, do the counselors and/or psychologists have a curriculum they follow? Do they go into the classrooms? Do they also have teachers back up their message by reinforcing it through classroom activities? How do the phys ed teachers and coaches build rapport between athletic and non-athletic boys? Are there groups for kids struggling socially? Does the headmaster impose consequences for unkind behavior? Are there evening activities to educate parents about social emotional development among the kids, and to talk about cyber bullying and other concerns? In other words, this is a very loose question unless you ask for some real data.

Former NCS parent here and this is exactly the problem. Whenever anyone says NCS is full of mean girls I just roll my eyes. They are just repeating old stereotypes. All schools have mean kids. The problem at NCS is this, they don't do anything about it. Between that and the competitive parents its just a toxic environment. A school administration can do a great deal if they care about the emotional health of their students. At NCS they don't.

[Anonymous]

I tutor middle-school students from a wide range of schools, including public and private. In terms of kindness, I'm always impressed by the kids from Lowell and St. Andrews. I don't know whether those schools simply attract families who value kindness and/or whether the schools are consciously creating a kind culture -- and maybe it doesn't matter -- but there's something good going on at those schools. FWIW, my children attend/ed another school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I tutor middle-school students from a wide range of schools, including public and private. In terms of kindness, I'm always impressed by the kids from Lowell and St. Andrews. I don't know whether those schools simply attract families who value kindness [i][b]and/or whether the schools are consciously creating a kind culture -- and maybe it doesn't matter -- but there's something good going on at those schools. FWIW, my children attend/ed another school.

Yes. That is it. I also thing the admins support that culture. St. Andrews, don't know about Lowell. But there are also other schools like this and when kids shadow they can tell. That is why the shadow day is very important.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How come NCS or STA haven't been mentioned?

Whether it's deserved or not, NCS has a reputation of having a culture of mean girls.

Well, there are 2-3 posters who post almost continuously trying to give it this reputation. The sheer obsession and the fact that at least obe of them attended 20 years ago tends to undermine their message, however. It's hard to know where the truth is.

Oh my, you are so wrong, it's a generally held view of everyone I know . . . hundreds of people. And yes I've been there and no way would I send my DD there. My friends are all in agreement. One tried - for a year. Nasty

Hundreds of people? Funny. I have friends whose dds go there, and only a few of them have mentioned any kind of drama at all. They seem to think their dds are getting a great education.

But then, I haven't asked "hundreds" of people, much less everyone I know, to weigh in on the question. It is beyond crazy that you have.

Not when you've lived here all your life and are close to 60. Seen parents go through the Beavoir madness only to be rejected. Or get in to Beavoir and do all the parental duty stuff but then, surprise!, not get into St.Albans or NCA. I've put three kids through private pre-school, private k-8 and seen many try to leave to St. A or NCA, or know people who have worked in the summer admissions office and have told stories, run auctions at privates. Been in parochial schools and finally public. Have personally witnessed the type of girl NCA takes (no thank you). Done the college application process. Toured NCA twice. Knew St. Albans and NCS grads at top law school. Knew the partners at my firm whose kids went there and told stories. Warned by pediatrician whose daughter attended to avoid due to nasty girls. Was not impressed by the girls on tour: "diversity diversity diversity!" Snobbish mothers. Competing parents. I've heard it all. To say there are "just 2-3" posters is absurd. The school is vicious. And, no, i have no horse in the race. Never applied. Never rejected. Just am not impressed and would never put my daughter in such a "mean girls" environment. You do know the author of "Prep" was "housed" at St. Albans while she wrote that piece of junk? "cheese" or "fish". Lovely. Oh yes, then there is the girl on my street whose mom drove her an hour every day so she could attend. Lovely family. They lasted a year. Vicious, competitive girls.

You sound even crazier. "The school is vicious"? No, but it sounds as if you are. Nice attempt to sabotage the characters of all "NCA" girls. I am thinking you hit the bottle a little to hard last night.

[Anonymous]

This thread is to help parents find a school with a kind culture. Get over it, NCS does not have that culture. No school can have everything. Go back to the rigorous school thread and feel better about yourself. You are only confirming that NCS families are not kind.

[Anonymous]

Answering for our school, NPS, which we chose in large part due to the culture of kindness in the school and community:

Anonymous wrote:I am just weighing in as a school counselor who has worked at several area schools. I think that while some schools may attract more down to earth families with solid values, a few mean girls or boys can wreck the culture of a grade at any school. I think the question to ask isn't which school is inherently kind, but how does the administration deal with bullying or social exclusivity? I honestly don't know because we haven't witnessed or heard of any bullying. Is there a counseling program, and if so, do the counselors and/or psychologists have a curriculum they follow? Yes Do they go into the classrooms? Yes Do they also have teachers back up their message by reinforcing it through classroom activities? Yes. The Core Values are Love, Respect, Honesty, Responsbility and Safety. Every day, the teachers and administrators reinforce those values and recognize the ways in which the students are living them. How do the phys ed teachers and coaches build rapport between athletic and non-athletic boys? Are there groups for kids struggling socially? Most (if not all?) kids participate in "friendship groups" run by the school counselors. Does the headmaster impose consequences for unkind behavior? I'm not sure about consequences for unkind behavior, but there is definitely recognition in chapel and school-wide assemblies for kind behavior. Are there evening activities to educate parents about social emotional development among the kids, and to talk about cyber bullying and other concerns? Yes. In other words, this is a very loose question unless you ask for some real data.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is to help parents find a school with a kind culture. Get over it, NCS does not have that culture. No school can have everything. Go back to the rigorous school thread and feel better about yourself. You are only confirming that NCS families are not kind.

I agree that this thread is about schools that have a kind culture. But, as usual, the anti-NCSers are out in force complaining about the mean culture. Why they brought it up at all is beyond me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is to help parents find a school with a kind culture. Get over it, NCS does not have that culture. No school can have everything. Go back to the rigorous school thread and feel better about yourself. You are only confirming that NCS families are not kind.

I agree that this thread is about schools that have a kind culture. But, as usual, the anti-NCSers are out in force complaining about the mean culture. Why they brought it up at all is beyond me.

I agree somebody asked about STA and NCS on purpose, to stir the pot. There are many shades of gray between kind and vicious.