How old to leave a child home alone for 10-30 minutes

[Anonymous]

12 years.

It was not easy, but I did not want to take any chances.

[Anonymous]

My DS is 10 and he does not want to be left alone yet and I don't want to push it. I think probably 12 years he may feel more at ease.

[Anonymous]

12 years.

It was not easy, but I did not want to take any chances.

What do you mean by "not taking any chances?" Do you mean a 12-yo, in general, shouldn't be left alone, or are there things specific to your child that made him/her not able to be left alone until then?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

12 years.

It was not easy, but I did not want to take any chances.

What do you mean by "not taking any chances?" Do you mean a 12-yo, in general, shouldn't be left alone, or are there things specific to your child that made him/her not able to be left alone until then?

I think I may be one of the parents who is over-anxious about their kids safety. News stories like the one about the 3 kidnapped women, or coaches, teachers and priests abusing children, really freaks me out. So I have a bunch of safety rules that I make my kids follow so that it has become second nature in my household now.

In MD, you are allowed to leave your child alone when they are 8 years old.

My child was mature enough at around 10 to have been left alone. I was actually concerned about someone coming into the house when the kids were alone. There was a spate of break-ins in the neighborhood a few years back. A gang of men who were opportunistic in their crimes(ie- open garage, unlocked windows etc) - and I was always more scared of the kids being kidnapped, raped or killed rather then someone stealing from my house.

"... The National SAFEKIDS Campaign recommends that no child under the age of 12 be left at home alone. " http://www.latchkey-kids.com/latchkey-kids-age-limits.htm

I actually followed the above recommendation.

[Anonymous]

This thread is funny. I grew up in the 70's. I was about 8 yo my mom ran to the store left me alone with my 11 month old brother. He fell down the stairs and I had to call an ambulance (no 911). My mom came home shocked to see an ambulance etc. but everyone praised me for calling for help.
My brother was fine but I thought I was going to get in big trouble. I was left to take care of my brother all the time even after that!

also, back then no car seats. Mom drove carpool for montessori with 3-4 kids in the back seat, not sure we even wore seat belts.

times sure have changed!

[Anonymous]

^^agree^^

When I was 12, I was able to be left home caring for an infant sibling as well as my other siblings. It worries me that there are 10-12-yr olds who can't be left alone for 20 minutes while mom runs an errand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Be careful who you brag too about this because the PP is right - CPS can be called and they can investigate. Yes, legally the law specifics no age but their is an expectation that parents will use common sense. Also, the guidelines for all jurisdictions in NOVA say that a child age 7 and under should ever be left alone. A neighbor could easily call when you leave and report your child alone. Imagine having the cops come banging on the door and your poor kid there scared to death that the police have now shown up.

First of all, I don't brag about it to anyone. People HERE asked, and I answered and simply wasn't apologetic or worried about the decision we've made. CPS can waste their time investigating my fed, clothed, warm, healthy daughter instead of getting children out of homes where they are truly abused and neglected. Leaving a girl in a locked home for an hour is not neglect. Leaving a girl in a locked closet for days on end with little food or drink or human interaction is neglect. If they were to spend their time on something as trivial as my daughter staying home by herself for a little while, I would go public and shame the hell out of them for wasting resources and taxpayer money.
Second of all, I DID use common sense - I waited until she felt comfortable, we went over and over what to do and not do in many different scenarios.
Third of all, a guideline is simply a suggestion for people too stupid to figure things out themselves. A guideline is a suggestion, not a law.
Fourth, I'm not in NOVA.
Fifth, I have imagined the cops coming to the door and we have already gone over what she is to do if that happens.
But hey, thanks.

I like you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:12 years.

It was not easy, but I did not want to take any chances.

Oy. At 11 years old I was in charge of supervising my 6 year old sister from 3pm when we got off the school bus until my mom got home until 5:30. I knew the rules - keep the door locked, don't answer for anyone, don't use the stove. We managed to survive. We would eat a snack, watch some TV and do our homework while we waited for mom. You are going to raise a nervous child if you don't give them some freedom, confidence and trust.

[Anonymous]

Kudos to you for having such a mature and responsible child. I know some 8-year-olds who could do this, and plenty of 12-year-olds (mine included) who couldn't. Only a few decades ago, children this age were routinely left in charge of younger siblings and I think that for the most part that was a good thing, and produced 12-year-olds (and 15,20,25-year-olds, etc.) who were more self-reliant and mature than today's children. However, it is also against the law in most jurisdictions and could get you in serious trouble. So I hope that you have a neighbor who is always home when you do this, and who would be prepared to say that they were the adult in charge in the (unlikely) case that something bad happens and the authorities become involved.

It's not against the law in most jurisdictions. Most states don't have a minimum age for leaving a child home alone. Virginia has no minimum and even the Fairfax County guidelines (which are guidelines, not legally binding) state that a child age 8-10 can be left home alone for up to 1.5 hours during the day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^agree^^

When I was 12, I was able to be left home caring for an infant sibling as well as my other siblings. It worries me that there are 10-12-yr olds who can't be left alone for 20 minutes while mom runs an errand.

When I was 12, I would do basic meal prep before my parents came home. Chopping, preheating the oven, sauteeing, etc. I was taught kitchen safety at a young age.

Most people will barely let their 12YO touch a stove. Is it because we're smarter now, or because we're scared to let kids learn how to do things?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is funny. I grew up in the 70's. I was about 8 yo my mom ran to the store left me alone with my 11 month old brother. He fell down the stairs and I had to call an ambulance (no 911). My mom came home shocked to see an ambulance etc. but everyone praised me for calling for help.
My brother was fine but I thought I was going to get in big trouble. I was left to take care of my brother all the time even after that!

also, back then no car seats. Mom drove carpool for montessori with 3-4 kids in the back seat, not sure we even wore seat belts.

times sure have changed!

Yes - times sure have changed. Your mom would have been in trouble for child endangerment and you and your siblings would have been shipped to foster homes if all of the above happened in present time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was once meeting with someone and they casually mentioned after about an hour that their children (4, 8) were home alone watching television. You know...just a few blocks away.

Ahh!

My neighbor got arrested doing this. Hah! She finally got caught.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is funny. I grew up in the 70's. I was about 8 yo my mom ran to the store left me alone with my 11 month old brother. He fell down the stairs and I had to call an ambulance (no 911). My mom came home shocked to see an ambulance etc. but everyone praised me for calling for help.
My brother was fine but I thought I was going to get in big trouble. I was left to take care of my brother all the time even after that!

also, back then no car seats. Mom drove carpool for montessori with 3-4 kids in the back seat, not sure we even wore seat belts.

times sure have changed!

My ex-boyfriend had 5 other siblings. When he was growing up in the 70s in the US, his parents would leave the sleeping kids in the house and walk down the street to socialize with other parents/neighbors. It's annoying when people try to compare the circumstances of 40 years ago or circumstances of growing up 40 years ago in another country to demonstrate how paranoid we are here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^agree^^

When I was 12, I was able to be left home caring for an infant sibling as well as my other siblings. It worries me that there are 10-12-yr olds who can't be left alone for 20 minutes while mom runs an errand.

When I was 12, I would do basic meal prep before my parents came home. Chopping, preheating the oven, sauteeing, etc. I was taught kitchen safety at a young age.

Most people will barely let their 12YO touch a stove. Is it because we're smarter now, or because we're scared to let kids learn how to do things?

I was raised in a different country and culture. And while I was responsible for taking care of younger siblings and helping with chores around the house etc from an early age - we always had some adult family member available for us at all times.

I leave my 12 years old at home with her younger siblings all the time ... but this DCUM thread was about younger kids (8 year old) being left alone. I don't think that is safe - but if someone else is comfortable doing that with their kids - it's their choice. I don't think of this as good or bad - just not for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:12 years.

It was not easy, but I did not want to take any chances.

Oy. At 11 years old I was in charge of supervising my 6 year old sister from 3pm when we got off the school bus until my mom got home until 5:30. I knew the rules - keep the door locked, don't answer for anyone, don't use the stove. We managed to survive. We would eat a snack, watch some TV and do our homework while we waited for mom. You are going to raise a nervous child if you don't give them some freedom, confidence and trust.

I think what you did at 11 years old was a function of your circumstances. Your mom was working, you did not have other adult family members (grandma-grandpa, aunt-uncle, cousin etc) or neighbors who could supervise you. Your family did not have a nanny or babysitter to look after you for the 2-3 hours your mom was not home.

I am not raising a nervous child - she has freedom, confidence and my trust. She also has a heavy dose of common sense. As I wrote before - it was not easy. I had to organize babysitting (nanny, neighbor, family) till the time she was 12. My circumstances were such that I could afford to pay for childcare, have flexible working hours, as well as had family and neighbors who could help out. Your mom's circumstance probably was not like mine.