How old to leave a child home alone for 10-30 minutes

Anonymous
7 is way too young. Insanity. They are not developmentally ready.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I can't figure out how a 7 year old could be in third grade.

My non-red-shirted 7 year old is in first grade.


And my non-red-shirted seven-year-old is in second grade. Big deal.

Stick with the topic, please.



The PP with the incredible genius child is the one who got off topic by insulting everyone who has children in age-typical grades.
Anonymous
i leave my 7.5 year old for 15-30 minutes if i walk to cvs/grocery store on the corner. he's usually fine but sometimes he calls me 10X in 15 minutes. sometimes he doesn't want to be left and he comes and sometimes he says he's ok. i only do it when i'm walking within 5 minutes of the house. have never driven anywhere and left him. he's pretty mature/responsible but still don't feel quite ready for that.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:14:11 WOW! Your kid was a 4 year old kindergartner?

She's so smart!


I was a 4 year old kindergartener....what's the big deal about that?


In this area (VA and MD) they no longer allow 4 year olds to start kindergarten in public school, except under very rare specific situations.

So being a 4 year old kindergartner is a novelty, and not the average.


The kindergarten entry cutoff date in Virginia is September 30th, so of course there are 4-year-olds in K, unless the\y are red-shirted. A non-red-shirted September birthday is 7 at the start of third grade.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:i leave my 7.5 year old for 15-30 minutes if i walk to cvs/grocery store on the corner. he's usually fine but sometimes he calls me 10X in 15 minutes. sometimes he doesn't want to be left and he comes and sometimes he says he's ok. i only do it when i'm walking within 5 minutes of the house. have never driven anywhere and left him. he's pretty mature/responsible but still don't feel quite ready for that.


No he is not. He is a little kid and he is not mature and doesn't have the ability to be 'responsible' in the way you are implying.

Look at what you wrote - he calls you over and over because he is scared to death being left alone by himself. He agrees to it and does it because he knows he has too because you make him.

I feel terrible for those 7 yr olds - especially the PP - who are being left alone and are not ready and are scared.

I remember being 10 and being "mature for my age" and having to stay home in my very safe suburban house for an hour after school and I was still scared. It was difficult and nerve wracking for me to have that much responsibility at such a young age. I never, ever told that to my mom and dad. I told them I was fine, I never called them at work or anything. I knew I had to stay home alone and I they were so proud of me being "mature for my age". I vowed I would never do that to my kid. I am single parent now and yes, sometimes it would be easier to leave her at home to run and get groceries for a half hour or 45 minutes but I know she wouldn't be comfortable being left.

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:By the time DD was 7, I would leave her for up to an hour. For me, it works best if I give her some specific tasks to do before I leave. "Finish eating, wash your plate, then after you get ready for bed you can either knit or read."


I hope that you are just using this as a random example.

Because leaving a 7 year old home alone unsupervised for dinner and bedtime is just irresponsible.


I wouldn't do that either when my daughter was 7, but seriously, think about what you just said. Who are you to tell other parents (who you don't know, whose kid you don't know) that they are "just irresponsible" for making a choice they believe is right for their family?


Because A) 7 years old is too young to legally be left alone without an adult and B) What kind of parent leaves their 7 year old (1st grade) alone at night?

I am guessing that if CPS were to be called about this, the parent would be in a heap of trouble.


I'm the person who did that. I don't know what kind of dumb kid you produced, but at the time I had my seven year-old doing this, she was in third grade, not first. Also, in September, it was light out until 8pm. So leaving her at home by herself for 45 minutes when she's finishing pizza while watching Mary Poppins does not mean leaving her when it's dark out. BTW, most home invasions happen during the daytime, during working hours. Keep your helicopters away from my family.


Be careful who you brag too about this because the PP is right - CPS can be called and they can investigate. Yes, legally the law specifics no age but their is an expectation that parents will use common sense. Also, the guidelines for all jurisdictions in NOVA say that a child age 7 and under should ever be left alone. A neighbor could easily call when you leave and report your child alone. Imagine having the cops come banging on the door and your poor kid there scared to death that the police have now shown up.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:i leave my 7.5 year old for 15-30 minutes if i walk to cvs/grocery store on the corner. he's usually fine but sometimes he calls me 10X in 15 minutes. sometimes he doesn't want to be left and he comes and sometimes he says he's ok. i only do it when i'm walking within 5 minutes of the house. have never driven anywhere and left him. he's pretty mature/responsible but still don't feel quite ready for that.


No he is not. He is a little kid and he is not mature and doesn't have the ability to be 'responsible' in the way you are implying.

Look at what you wrote - he calls you over and over because he is scared to death being left alone by himself. He agrees to it and does it because he knows he has too because you make him.

I feel terrible for those 7 yr olds - especially the PP - who are being left alone and are not ready and are scared.

I remember being 10 and being "mature for my age" and having to stay home in my very safe suburban house for an hour after school and I was still scared. It was difficult and nerve wracking for me to have that much responsibility at such a young age. I never, ever told that to my mom and dad. I told them I was fine, I never called them at work or anything. I knew I had to stay home alone and I they were so proud of me being "mature for my age". I vowed I would never do that to my kid. I am single parent now and yes, sometimes it would be easier to leave her at home to run and get groceries for a half hour or 45 minutes but I know she wouldn't be comfortable being left.



Are you sure? I've certainly had times with my now-10-year-old where she just wasn't ready for something that I thought she'd be ready to do, and other times where she surprised me by handling a difficult situation in a very mature way. I think it is silly to think that because the state sets the cutoff at 8, ALL 7-year-olds are not mature enough to be left alone, just like it is silly to think that ALL 8-year-olds are.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I have never done this and don't have any plans to at the moment. I'm just curious. My DS will be 8. We are in MD. At what age is it ok to leave a child home alone?


Legally, the age is 11 during waking hours.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:i leave my 7.5 year old for 15-30 minutes if i walk to cvs/grocery store on the corner. he's usually fine but sometimes he calls me 10X in 15 minutes. sometimes he doesn't want to be left and he comes and sometimes he says he's ok. i only do it when i'm walking within 5 minutes of the house. have never driven anywhere and left him. he's pretty mature/responsible but still don't feel quite ready for that.


No he is not. He is a little kid and he is not mature and doesn't have the ability to be 'responsible' in the way you are implying.

Look at what you wrote - he calls you over and over because he is scared to death being left alone by himself. He agrees to it and does it because he knows he has too because you make him.

I feel terrible for those 7 yr olds - especially the PP - who are being left alone and are not ready and are scared.

I remember being 10 and being "mature for my age" and having to stay home in my very safe suburban house for an hour after school and I was still scared. It was difficult and nerve wracking for me to have that much responsibility at such a young age. I never, ever told that to my mom and dad. I told them I was fine, I never called them at work or anything. I knew I had to stay home alone and I they were so proud of me being "mature for my age". I vowed I would never do that to my kid. I am single parent now and yes, sometimes it would be easier to leave her at home to run and get groceries for a half hour or 45 minutes but I know she wouldn't be comfortable being left.



Are you sure? I've certainly had times with my now-10-year-old where she just wasn't ready for something that I thought she'd be ready to do, and other times where she surprised me by handling a difficult situation in a very mature way. I think it is silly to think that because the state sets the cutoff at 8, ALL 7-year-olds are not mature enough to be left alone, just like it is silly to think that ALL 8-year-olds are.


I think PP is transferring some of her own fear onto her child. Kids are capable of more and need more responsibility at age 8, 9, and 10 than our current laws allow for. We are stifling them and it shows when they can't make a decision at 22. Start with chores at age 6 or 7, at 8 add care of a pet, making small purchases at the store while you wait outside. And yes, most 8 or 9 year olds will be fine for 10 min while you go to the store. If they are not, get to work on them, please.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have never done this and don't have any plans to at the moment. I'm just curious. My DS will be 8. We are in MD. At what age is it ok to leave a child home alone?


Legally, the age is 11 during waking hours.


Where did you get 11? The legal age in MD is 8. There may be some guidelines regarding when it is appropriate to leave a child alone for more than a couple of hours, but the only actual law covers when it is appropriate to leave them alone at all, and that law says 8.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:i leave my 7.5 year old for 15-30 minutes if i walk to cvs/grocery store on the corner. he's usually fine but sometimes he calls me 10X in 15 minutes. sometimes he doesn't want to be left and he comes and sometimes he says he's ok. i only do it when i'm walking within 5 minutes of the house. have never driven anywhere and left him. he's pretty mature/responsible but still don't feel quite ready for that.


No he is not. He is a little kid and he is not mature and doesn't have the ability to be 'responsible' in the way you are implying.

Look at what you wrote - he calls you over and over because he is scared to death being left alone by himself. He agrees to it and does it because he knows he has too because you make him.

I feel terrible for those 7 yr olds - especially the PP - who are being left alone and are not ready and are scared.

I remember being 10 and being "mature for my age" and having to stay home in my very safe suburban house for an hour after school and I was still scared. It was difficult and nerve wracking for me to have that much responsibility at such a young age. I never, ever told that to my mom and dad. I told them I was fine, I never called them at work or anything. I knew I had to stay home alone and I they were so proud of me being "mature for my age". I vowed I would never do that to my kid. I am single parent now and yes, sometimes it would be easier to leave her at home to run and get groceries for a half hour or 45 minutes but I know she wouldn't be comfortable being left.



Are you sure? I've certainly had times with my now-10-year-old where she just wasn't ready for something that I thought she'd be ready to do, and other times where she surprised me by handling a difficult situation in a very mature way. I think it is silly to think that because the state sets the cutoff at 8, ALL 7-year-olds are not mature enough to be left alone, just like it is silly to think that ALL 8-year-olds are.


I think PP is transferring some of her own fear onto her child. Kids are capable of more and need more responsibility at age 8, 9, and 10 than our current laws allow for. We are stifling them and it shows when they can't make a decision at 22. Start with chores at age 6 or 7, at 8 add care of a pet, making small purchases at the store while you wait outside. And yes, most 8 or 9 year olds will be fine for 10 min while you go to the store. If they are not, get to work on them, please.


I agree. Why are we treating this generation of children as if they are invalids?
http://greatergreaterwashington.org/post/16823/school-officials-fret-over-5th-grader-riding-public-bus/
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I can't figure out how a 7 year old could be in third grade.

My non-red-shirted 7 year old is in first grade.


Some kids enter school a year early, or are grade skipped.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I can't figure out how a 7 year old could be in third grade.

My non-red-shirted 7 year old is in first grade.


Some kids enter school a year early, or are grade skipped.


For some kids that's just on time.
Anonymous
Be careful who you brag too about this because the PP is right - CPS can be called and they can investigate. Yes, legally the law specifics no age but their is an expectation that parents will use common sense. Also, the guidelines for all jurisdictions in NOVA say that a child age 7 and under should ever be left alone. A neighbor could easily call when you leave and report your child alone. Imagine having the cops come banging on the door and your poor kid there scared to death that the police have now shown up.


First of all, I don't brag about it to anyone. People HERE asked, and I answered and simply wasn't apologetic or worried about the decision we've made. CPS can waste their time investigating my fed, clothed, warm, healthy daughter instead of getting children out of homes where they are truly abused and neglected. Leaving a girl in a locked home for an hour is not neglect. Leaving a girl in a locked closet for days on end with little food or drink or human interaction is neglect. If they were to spend their time on something as trivial as my daughter staying home by herself for a little while, I would go public and shame the hell out of them for wasting resources and taxpayer money.
Second of all, I DID use common sense - I waited until she felt comfortable, we went over and over what to do and not do in many different scenarios.
Third of all, a guideline is simply a suggestion for people too stupid to figure things out themselves. A guideline is a suggestion, not a law.
Fourth, I'm not in NOVA.
Fifth, I have imagined the cops coming to the door and we have already gone over what she is to do if that happens.
But hey, thanks.
Anonymous
Let's inject a little sense into this conversation, shall we? This Is! Isn't! routine isn't getting us anywhere.

Your child is old enough when he can handle calling the police or fire dept if something goes wrong - and knows to get out of the house first if there is a fire.

Your child is old enough when she knows not to answer the door, and not to tell phone callers that no adult is home.

Your child is old enough when he knows how to contact a neighbor if needed.

Your child is not old enough to cook or take a shower home alone for much, much longer: more can go wrong.

And, contrary to what you might assume, I left my children alone from about age 7, but I started in about 3-minute increments.
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