Is it appropriate to let your child kick the seat in front of them on an airplane?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why wouldn't you recline your seat? Never even thought of that as being in any way bad etiquette and I fly frequently. Seats are made to recline and I expect people to recline, it doesn't bother me at all. Why would it? Flying isn't comfortable and reclining gives you a little more space. Reclining is part of flying, not bad etiquette.

Do you like someone else's seat in your face? I hate it, and if you do it in front of me, you will feel extra kicks, jolts, etc. from me. If you recline just a little, then ok, but all the way? With as little space as we get on these planes? You are jerky.

+100

Sorry, I pay a lot of money for my tickets. I can't sleep upright. Thus, I will recline on long flights.
Color me a jerk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Rule 1: If you recline your seat (other than if you had to because the person in front of you did), you're a jackass. No matter who is behind you. That's just the truth. Airplanes are uncomfortable enough.

Rule 2: Even on a 6 hour flight, I will do everything physically possible to keep my child from kicking the seat in front of him. Absolutely not ok.

Rule 3: If you violate Rule 1 and move your seat 3 inches closer to my kid's feet, then I won't even bother trying to make him stop anymore. Idiot.

Yes!

[Anonymous]

I don't think it's appropriate to "let" your child kick the seat, but I also think that people need to realize that in a small space everyone is trying to get comfortable, and things can happen. If your toddler kicks and kicks it's not fair. If his feet tap the seat in front of him once or twice before you manage to get a hand on their leg, well, that happens.

I've only flown with my child once when kicking was even really a possibility. The first trip we took he was still rear facing, so it wasn't an issue. More recently, he's been tall enough that his knees sit a the edge of the seat and his feet are below the seat in front of him. However, when he was about 4 we flew to Canada. When my son climbed into his seat, and was geting settled his feet hit the seat in front of him. The lady turned around and yelled at him about how he better not kick or something. It was a total overeaction. Since I didn't want him to get yelled at again, we took off his shoes. Since his knees didn't reach the edge, and putting them out in front of him meant they'd touch the seat, I had him sit criss cross applesauce, but over time he'd slide down and probably 3 or 4 times during the 6 hour flight, he'd go to adjust himself back up, stretching out his legs scootching back and refolding them. A couple times (literally) his bare feet touched the seat in front of him, and she again turned around and yelled at him. It was totally inappropriate.

I should note that this was the last of the 4 flights that trip, and on the other 3 no one had commented. I don't actually remember him touching the seat, but I'm sure he did because the sliding down issue didn't happen just once. On the other flights he kept his shoes on and no one reacted at all.

So, while I agree that it's awful to let your child kick, and you need to take steps to stop it, I also think it's important to remember that in a crowded space things happen, and just like the guy next to you might fart unexpectedly and you deal because these things happen, there may be moments when good parents with good kids still touch the seat in front of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rule 1: If you recline your seat (other than if you had to because the person in front of you did), you're a jackass. No matter who is behind you. That's just the truth. Airplanes are uncomfortable enough.

Rule 2: Even on a 6 hour flight, I will do everything physically possible to keep my child from kicking the seat in front of him. Absolutely not ok.

Rule 3: If you violate Rule 1 and move your seat 3 inches closer to my kid's feet, then I won't even bother trying to make him stop anymore. Idiot.

Yes!

ITA! People who recline their seats deserve to get their seats kicked really hard! Don't recline your seats -- ever!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why wouldn't you recline your seat? Never even thought of that as being in any way bad etiquette and I fly frequently. Seats are made to recline and I expect people to recline, it doesn't bother me at all. Why would it? Flying isn't comfortable and reclining gives you a little more space. Reclining is part of flying, not bad etiquette.

Do you like someone else's seat in your face? I hate it, and if you do it in front of me, you will feel extra kicks, jolts, etc. from me. If you recline just a little, then ok, but all the way? With as little space as we get on these planes? You are jerky.

+100

Sorry, I pay a lot of money for my tickets. I can't sleep upright. Thus, I will recline on long flights.
Color me a jerk.

You're a jerk. You should fly during the day so you don't have to sleep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Uh oh. I always recline my seat. It doesn't bother me if someone else does, either. I mean, that's what recliners are FOR, right? Would I ask my neighbor to kindly turn off his reading light? Or turn on/off his air blower? No...

Hm. Y'all have me thinking.

I was like you. I didn't understand why reclining would be rude, until someone pointed out to me that when the reclining function was originally designed, seats in an airplane had much more leg room. Today, they still recline but are closer together front-to-back, so whereas once upon a time, reclining wasn't impolite, now it is. And it's the damned airlines' fault, because now one has to count on one's fellow travelers being thoughtful when given the choice to potentially be more comfortable.

This is one of those things that people who are shorter or who have shorter legs generally have to be told, and taller people generally have to tell us. I am not SO short for a woman, but I find it's my husband and other male friends who are close to 6' or up are very, very uncomfortable with a seat reclined.

Yes -- watching my 6'3" husband deal with jerks who recline has taught me this lesson. Everyone should stop reclining! It's so rude.

[Anonymous]

Wow. I am 5'6 but with really long legs (need talks in all pants) and I never heard this don't recline rule. I almost always recline and haven't been bothered by people reclining in front of me ever.

[Anonymous]

If your child kicks in a carseat, it is time for the cares harness. There is no excuse, ever, to let a kid kick the seat in front of them, that is just crappy parenting.

[Anonymous]

Jerks recline. Can't stop them.

But you can't let your kids kick the seat. This my kids learned at 6 months of age from car seats on the plane. Just cannot do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it's appropriate to "let" your child kick the seat, but I also think that people need to realize that in a small space everyone is trying to get comfortable, and things can happen. If your toddler kicks and kicks it's not fair. If his feet tap the seat in front of him once or twice before you manage to get a hand on their leg, well, that happens.

I've only flown with my child once when kicking was even really a possibility. The first trip we took he was still rear facing, so it wasn't an issue. More recently, he's been tall enough that his knees sit a the edge of the seat and his feet are below the seat in front of him. However, when he was about 4 we flew to Canada. When my son climbed into his seat, and was geting settled his feet hit the seat in front of him. The lady turned around and yelled at him about how he better not kick or something. It was a total overeaction. Since I didn't want him to get yelled at again, we took off his shoes. Since his knees didn't reach the edge, and putting them out in front of him meant they'd touch the seat, I had him sit criss cross applesauce, but over time he'd slide down and probably 3 or 4 times during the 6 hour flight, he'd go to adjust himself back up, stretching out his legs scootching back and refolding them. A couple times (literally) his bare feet touched the seat in front of him, and she again turned around and yelled at him. It was totally inappropriate.

I should note that this was the last of the 4 flights that trip, and on the other 3 no one had commented. I don't actually remember him touching the seat, but I'm sure he did because the sliding down issue didn't happen just once. On the other flights he kept his shoes on and no one reacted at all.

So, while I agree that it's awful to let your child kick, and you need to take steps to stop it, I also think it's important to remember that in a crowded space things happen, and just like the guy next to you might fart unexpectedly and you deal because these things happen, there may be moments when good parents with good kids still touch the seat in front of them.

All right, all you hard-core "Don't let your child kick the seat in front" extremists. I need to know: What would you say in this situation to (a) the child (b) the mother and (c) the "victim."

[Anonymous]

Do not kick the MF seat. Dont touch it. It is poison (do you see how that mean looking hag yells at you when you touch it?) don't touch it, even by accident. That is what I would say to DC. And I would police it to the extent of grabbing at DC's feet if even coming close.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do not kick the MF seat. Dont touch it. It is poison (do you see how that mean looking hag yells at you when you touch it?) don't touch it, even by accident. That is what I would say to DC. And I would police it to the extent of grabbing at DC's feet if even coming close.

Wow. Well, good luck to you on that multi-hour flight. Personally, I think the lady in front needs to get a grip. You know, "stuff happens." I'd smile beatifically and tell her she needs to address me, and not my wee child, when she next has a complaint to lodge.

I jostle the seat in front of me when I'm getting up to go the bathroom (have to hold onto somthing), get back to my seat, rustle around under the chair to reach my stuff... Hey, you know, if you want a 100% perfectly unperturbed flight, gotto go first class or private jet. The rest of us are sardined in back, and we move = we jostle!

[Anonymous]

I'm dumbfounded by the no-recline rule. Overnight to London last week, I'd guess that 95 percent of seats were reclined. Not as many on our daytime flight back, though. Figured it is to be expected on flights of 6+ hours.

As for kicking, no. I will hold down legs if needed. My carry-on used to hold trashy magazines and an eye mask. Now it holds stickers, cars, tiny toys to unwrap, wikistix, those colorwonder markers that won't get on neighbors, snacks galore, etc etc. Flying is work. I expect that I have to engage my children way more than usual and be on alert to nip annoying behaviors in the bud. DC2 is 18 months old and I'm wiped out from our past week. I cannot stand seeing parents sit back and read/sleep/ignore while their kids make things miserable for other travelers.

Something that helped for my most recent flight was switching from a car seat to a CARES harness. No way to reach the seat in front. Though it was much harder for kid to fall asleep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my son climbed into his seat, and was geting settled his feet hit the seat in front of him. The lady turned around and yelled at him about how he better not kick or something. It was a total overeaction. Since I didn't want him to get yelled at again, we took off his shoes. Since his knees didn't reach the edge, and putting them out in front of him meant they'd touch the seat, I had him sit criss cross applesauce, but over time he'd slide down and probably 3 or 4 times during the 6 hour flight, he'd go to adjust himself back up, stretching out his legs scootching back and refolding them. A couple times (literally) his bare feet touched the seat in front of him, and she again turned around and yelled at him.

I flew once with a lady like this. Five-hour flight (medical-related, not tourism), me with my 18 month-old. DS wasn't swinging his feet to "kick". It was a five-hour flight and his feet (shoes off) touched the seat in front of him. All he had to do was twitch or shift 1 cm, and she called it a "kick" and lectured me in a stern tone about her needing to get some rest and what was I going to do about my child. The flight attendants saw how hard I was working to keep DS perfectly still and clearly they sympathized, but couldn't do much to help.

I bought a CARES harness after that flight. There are some situations where you just can't win. I've had good and not-so good flights with my two children since that flight, but the one thing I can say is that nobody has accused my toddler of kicking their seat.

[Anonymous]

I am the poster with the "mean old hag" story. I should note that my kid was in a regular seatbelt, not a carseat.