First night of ferber, and DS screamed so hard he vomited.

[Anonymous]

my son screamed for 2 hours and 54 minutes the first night i let him cry (he was about 10 months). i remember because i was going to give up at three hours. the second night it was about 20 minutes and the third night went right to sleep. may not work but do give it more than one night.

(he's 6 now and still goes to sleep easily these days...)

[Anonymous]

You know, I started out rocking my newborn constantly. When she was a couple days old, and she and I were both crying in the rocker, my mom said: sometimes babies just need to fuss. She took the baby and swaddled her and laid her down and said just wait 5 minutes. At the end of 5 minutes she was clearly winding down, so I left her and she slept. After that, I just waited. We never had a huge CIO because when she was tiny, I taught her to sleep.

Babies cry. It isn't the end of the world. The mythical cultures you talk about never letting babies cry are backwards and undeveloped. I don't know that I'd look for parenting advice from someone who lives with a dirt floor and eats donated food---or from a culture that kills off girl babies in utero.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The truth is that Ferber doesn't work for all kids. You think your cortisol leves are high? What do you think your aby feels? Stop torturing your kid and yourself.

+1

I say this as a mom who tried the Ferber (and various other "methods") with my first baby. It just never worked. The only thing that really helped was time. She cried it out for months, months, and all the way up until the point of toddlerhood really. We finally gave up, tried other ways of helping her go to sleep with our help and eventually she got it. About two years later and many, many, stressful nights of letting her cry to no avail.

Second baby, no "methods". We co-slept exclusively for about six months. Not because I wanted to in theory or because I'm a crazy earth mama, but just because it was easier and I was tired. It allowed us all to sleep, so that's what we did.

Eventually we transitioned baby #2 to the crib, but still having to help him to sleep by rocking every night for about a half hour (or more). No crying it out because of our horrible experience with #1.

I'm not say this is what every family should do, but I just thought I'd share my experience in case it might help someone out there who is going through a similar situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell me this will work quickly, please. My cortisol levels are insane, i'm still shaking an hour later. I didnt want to take this route but there is no other option. Hes too big to get into his crib asleep like i used to, he just wakes up and cries. I stood over his crib last night from midnight til 2 am rubbing his tummy and he still woke up every time i removed my hand, so we have ro teach him to fall sleep on his own. But i hate it! Hes 10 mos, fwiw. I know we waited too long but he had severe reflux for 6 mos and i wanted to get him of all the meds, etc., before we worried about sleeping.

I am you, except my son is now 27 months, and still waking up at least 1x per night.
If I could go back in time, if do what my doctor said and get earplugs and stick it out more than the three nights I tried.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You know, I started out rocking my newborn constantly. When she was a couple days old, and she and I were both crying in the rocker, my mom said: sometimes babies just need to fuss. She took the baby and swaddled her and laid her down and said just wait 5 minutes. At the end of 5 minutes she was clearly winding down, so I left her and she slept. After that, I just waited. We never had a huge CIO because when she was tiny, I taught her to sleep.

Babies cry. It isn't the end of the world. The mythical cultures you talk about never letting babies cry are backwards and undeveloped. I don't know that I'd look for parenting advice from someone who lives with a dirt floor and eats donated food---or from a culture that kills off girl babies in utero.

[phone]

You have to leave him alone. Babies are smart the more you give him attention the more he wants it all the time. He may be hungry but he may also be playing you. You have to leave the room and it depends on how you are with him other than just at bedtime - if you are at his whim and not teaching him no means no - well he's gonna keep playing you 24/7. And I'm not saying you are a bad mom or saying you shouldn't be nice to baby just that babies do learn even before age 1 what it is to have control. You have to examine your behavior in total and see if it may be contributing to bedtime issues. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The truth is that Ferber doesn't work for all kids. You think your cortisol leves are high? What do you think your aby feels? Stop torturing your kid and yourself.

I agree. if you are that upset and your child is screaming, then it's not working. Don't do it. There is a reason your stress levels are high, it's so you stop doing what you are doing!

[Anonymous]

I can't even imagine letting my child scream like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do other countries worry about"sleep training" their babies like we do in America? Or are we just so worried about getting our own privacy and space back that we insist on trying to control and perfect our babies' sleep routines so they become as little of an "inconvenience" to us as possible? I don't know the answer to that question, but it sure seems like we put an awful lot of energy into how to train our babies to sleep on their own rather than just following our parenting instincts and babies' cues. If your baby needs you, he/she will cry. Go to the baby and meet her needs. Seems pretty simple to me. Yes, I am a little sleep deprived with my 3 month old who still wakes up needing me at night, but that's part of becoming a parent. I wish people would stop obsessing about training methods and letting babies CIO when their instincts tell them otherwise. It seems like a lot of intellectualizing of a fairly basic issue.

You have a 3 month old. Your 3 month old has needs at night like eating and having a poopy diaper changed. You say you are only a "little" sleep deprived. Try doing this for a few more months with your baby waking no longer because of needs, but because she's completely dependent on your help to get the sleep SHE so desperately needs. Not only will she be a cranky and overtired mess but from the hourly or ever two hourly wake-ups, no longer necessary for feeding but now required for your baby to sleep, depending on how much sleep you need you may also be an emotional mess. Your work, parenting, and relationships may suffer. You may find yourself dozing off while driving or even wrecking a car. Try being one of us who needs sleep and is up more than 3 times a night to get a clean diaper, eat, and go back to sleep in an hour or less. Then you'll understand. There's a reason sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have a 3 month old. Your 3 month old has needs at night like eating and having a poopy diaper changed. You say you are only a "little" sleep deprived. Try doing this for a few more months with your baby waking no longer because of needs, but because she's completely dependent on your help to get the sleep SHE so desperately needs. Not only will she be a cranky and overtired mess but from the hourly or ever two hourly wake-ups, no longer necessary for feeding but now required for your baby to sleep, depending on how much sleep you need you may also be an emotional mess. Your work, parenting, and relationships may suffer. You may find yourself dozing off while driving or even wrecking a car. Try being one of us who needs sleep and is up more than 3 times a night to get a clean diaper, eat, and go back to sleep in an hour or less. Then you'll understand. There's a reason sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture.

Your logic is flawed. Even IF you have to wake up to feed baby, change a diaper, whatever, where are the other 6-8 hours of the night going to? You fee baby, go back to bed. You change diaper, go back to bed. I have a 10 month old that wakes up a few times a night to nurse and I still manage to sleep fine otherwise. I work, have another older child, drive my car safely, and am highly functioning human despite the fact that I listen to my child's dependent needs during the nightime hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have a 3 month old. Your 3 month old has needs at night like eating and having a poopy diaper changed. You say you are only a "little" sleep deprived. Try doing this for a few more months with your baby waking no longer because of needs, but because she's completely dependent on your help to get the sleep SHE so desperately needs. Not only will she be a cranky and overtired mess but from the hourly or ever two hourly wake-ups, no longer necessary for feeding but now required for your baby to sleep, depending on how much sleep you need you may also be an emotional mess. Your work, parenting, and relationships may suffer. You may find yourself dozing off while driving or even wrecking a car. Try being one of us who needs sleep and is up more than 3 times a night to get a clean diaper, eat, and go back to sleep in an hour or less. Then you'll understand. There's a reason sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture.

Your logic is flawed. Even IF you have to wake up to feed baby, change a diaper, whatever, where are the other 6-8 hours of the night going to? You fee baby, go back to bed. You change diaper, go back to bed. I have a 10 month old that wakes up a few times a night to nurse and I still manage to sleep fine otherwise. I work, have another older child, drive my car safely, and am highly functioning human despite the fact that I listen to my child's dependent needs during the nightime hours.

A few times a night to nurse is one thing. I was talking about the baby who wakes up every sleep cycle or every other sleep cycle or some mixture of both from poor sleep associations or the baby who requires hours of rocking back to sleep every time he or she wakes up at night. Those babies don't leave 6-8 hours left in the night for their parents or sometimes even themselves. And that many interruptions to a sleep cycle is not good for anyone - baby or parent.

[Anonymous]

And for babies that are this ^^ bad, there are two pretty commonly accepted solutions: CIO or co-sleep. Sometimes parents have preferences, sometimes the kid has preferences. It's actually pretty easy to understand.

And to the pp who taught her tiny one to sleep, please get a little perspective; glad it worked well for you but a lot of us did the same thing and ended up having to take more drastic action as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do other countries worry about"sleep training" their babies like we do in America? Or are we just so worried about getting our own privacy and space back that we insist on trying to control and perfect our babies' sleep routines so they become as little of an "inconvenience" to us as possible? I don't know the answer to that question, but it sure seems like we put an awful lot of energy into how to train our babies to sleep on their own rather than just following our parenting instincts and babies' cues. If your baby needs you, he/she will cry. Go to the baby and meet her needs. Seems pretty simple to me. Yes, I am a little sleep deprived with my 3 month old who still wakes up needing me at night, but that's part of becoming a parent. I wish people would stop obsessing about training methods and letting babies CIO when their instincts tell them otherwise. It seems like a lot of intellectualizing of a fairly basic issue.

I agree with this. I have a 2 year old and I have never let him cry it out. If he is complaining and whining - fine. But I would never let my child scream until he vomited. I don't let him scream at all, really. No one taught me this and I did not read it in a book. I just go by my instincts. I feel good about it and it does not cause me stress.

[Anonymous]

To each his own but I'll be damn if I listen to my baby scream so hard he/she vomits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And for babies that are this ^^ bad, there are two pretty commonly accepted solutions: CIO or co-sleep. Sometimes parents have preferences, sometimes the kid has preferences. It's actually pretty easy to understand.

And so whose preferences shouldnprevail?

Have you ever cried so hard you vomited? I can't even begin to imagine how scary and awful that might be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And for babies that are this ^^ bad, there are two pretty commonly accepted solutions: CIO or co-sleep. Sometimes parents have preferences, sometimes the kid has preferences. It's actually pretty easy to understand.

And so whose preferences shouldnprevail?

Have you ever cried so hard you vomited? I can't even begin to imagine how scary and awful that might be.

Hey (I'm the quoted pp) and I chose cosleeping which works well for my now 2 year old but is taking a toll on my marriage (just being honest here folks). It's a tradeoff and I didn't mean to imply it was easy to choose but rather that there really aren't that many options when your kid is literally not sleeping. Not to mention that if cosleeping hadn't provide us all with adequate sleep (which it did) I don't think I would have had a choice but to let her cry.