First night of ferber, and DS screamed so hard he vomited.
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Anonymous
Really? Years? Seriously, as a parent of older and young children, this does not last years. It's a short time in their lives, it's not forever. Some parents realize that being a parent means putting someone else's needs ahead of your own, at least for a little while. |
Anonymous
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Every night I put our two-year-old (our third child) to bed after a 20-30 minute routine. She goes into her sleep sack and crib with her stuffed animal. I kiss her good night and say "night sweetie." She says "night mommy" and she rolls over and goes to sleep and sleeps for 12 hours. This has been the routine every night for well over a year.
At six months she was severely colicky and required a tight swaddle and hours of rocking to sleep. At 10 months I did CIO with her. After three or four nights of a lot of screaming, she discovered she could deal with the new routine and now we've had a year and a half of sleep bliss. Totally worth it. |
Anonymous
I don't think it's really helping a kid to fail to teach them to get to sleep on their own. A few nights of crying is hardly going to damage them for life. Assuming CIO DOES teach them to get to sleep on their own, the benefits are obvious. (If they're vomiting every night, that's another story of course). Further, chronically sleep-deprived parents are hardly going to be at their best parenting or doing any other task. How does that help the kid? |
Anonymous
| It doesn't sound like you are doing Ferber. Can you tell me what you did? |
Anonymous
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1. Make sure child is eating all of his calories during the day: 3 meals and snacks each day.
2. Limit daytime naps to 2.5 hours. No sleeping past 4:30 pm or 7:30 am during night sleep. 3. CIO is best when graduated. Put DC in stomach, no sleep sack or swaddle, just light blanket. 1st waking, go in after 20 mins and comfort, nurse, put down. 2nd waking, go 35 mins. Go in and comfort. 3rd waking, 50 mins, etc. etc etc. Give this a few nights. The older the child, the longer they will protest. Don't give up. It's not painless and probably does traumatize child- but having an exhausted, resentful parent is just a terrible. |
Anonymous
| I didn't read all the posts, but..... You said he had GERD and you didn't want to sleep train until off the meds? Is it possible his GERD is not resolved? Our son was on GERD meds until about 18 months. We kept trying to take him off, but he still needed them. He was. Very late walker though, and they say that GERD doesn't fully resolve until they are walking. Try the meds again for a couple of nights and see if he does better. |
Anonymous
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I could have written your post, OP. Since he was 4 months old, my DS has been having crying fits that ended y to vomit everywhere, nightly. He's 16 monthls old now and vomiting only happens about once a week these days. I spoke to his pediatrician and Dr. suggested to let him CIO and if he vomits, clean everything up then put him back to sleep with as little stimulation as possible. It's been such a nightmare as my first child was a great sleeper and STTN without issue very early on. it has started getting better but i remember between 9-14 months (for us) was THE WORST. I used to go to work daily and attempt to function on 3 non-continuous hours of sleep, and this occured for a months on end. i felt so burned out and couldn't function anymore. He's 16 months old now and it's gotten better.
Good luck to you! |
Anonymous
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OP here. Thanks to those sending positive thoughts. To be clear, when i was standing over his crib rubbing himfor 2 hours, i didnt think i was doing ferber. I was trying to avoid a true CIO approach by easing him gently, because i could no longer transfer him into his crib after nursing to sleep. So when he woke up, i tried to soothe him back to sleep, but he wasnt having any. We tried this several times, as well as taking him out and rocking or nursing to sleep again, but when he hits the mattress he wakes. It was after the 2 hour session of trying to soothe him while he was in his crib that i decided we probably needed to CIO becuase i dont know what else to do. Co-sleeping will not work for our family, and since i couldnt stand over his crib and soothe him to sleep after he jad just been asleep, i'm not sure sleep lady shuffle would work either! When we started ferber we did it right, with incremental checks and not taking him out of the crib.
Also, i agree with those who talk about a sharp gag reflex. Yes, DS was crying pretty hard to vomit, but he has also done that when i try to give him tylenol or motrin when he's feverish. I actually keep rectal tylenol in the house because its so hard to medicate him when he feels badly without triggering vomit. |
Anonymous
Hmm. We got rid of zantac pretty easily, but we weaned him from prevacid over 40 days, a quarter dose at a time, and then waited another 2 weeks before this. We really saw no issues with the weaning, he spits up about once every couple days now and doesnt show any other signs. And he seems to actually sleep ok, its the going to sleep thats the problem  So i dont think so...But i will pay close attention to that possibility.
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Anonymous
| Op for us checking in ds only made him more upset. So I let him CIO. Worst was 35 mins of cryong and then he slept almost five hours. ours was a kid who woke crying every 45ins to 2 hours non stop for months.... |
Anonymous
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FTM with DS who vomits easily as well, and we haven't even started sleep training yet!
What did you decide to do, OP? Did anything work for your child? |
Anonymous
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CIO doesn't work for all kids. We used CIO with our oldest (no vomiting involved) but barely needed to do any sleep training at all with our next two.
Rocking didn't work. Cosleeping didn't work. CIO did. Every baby is different. And sometimes you just need to invent your own variation of things. Also, if you use CIO, you need to make sure there are no needs or health issues (ear infection, reflux, etc) involved that could be causing the crying. I could hear the difference in cries in my kids, and I could tell when it was a "fussy I'm tired I have to fall asleep" cry and a "there's something wrong" cry. |
Anonymous
| I'm a mother of older kids. But I remember those difficult days all too well. All five of our children went through phases of not wanting to go to sleep at about that same age. Here's my view, for what it's worth - That feeling you get when you hear your child scream is telling you something. You want to go and comfort him because it's instinctual. Moms naturally want to pick up a crying baby. Don't fight that. If he is screaming, go comfort him. He is still completely dependent on you. I remember sleeping on the floor next to the crib many times because I wasn't willing to let my baby scream but I also didn't want to take him to bed with me every night. If he is going to cry, at least make sure he knows that you are near. It seems so cruel to me to leave a screaming baby in a dark room all alone. |
Anonymous
Haha, OP here - I cant believe someone revived this thread! Yes - I can finally put DS in his crib awake after a little nighttime routine (songs, cuddles, etc). It didn't happen until November, though, and I posted this in July! I did in fact let him cry - DH was gone, my mother in law was here, and in addition to being a mother of 3 she's the oldest of 6 so as she says 'baby crying is background noise.' She kept me strong. It took about 20 mins the first night (no ferber checks), and a little less each night - took about 4 nights. He still typically screams bloody murder... for about 45 seconds - long enough for me to close his door and pee in the bathroom next door. Then he grabs his lovey and settles down to watch his FP aquarium. We're all much happier. I do think timing is critical. As I noted in the original post, because of his GERD we missed the early window around 6-8 MOs (when we trained our older DS with no problem), and I do think the time around 10 mos-14 mos is pretty fraught with separation anxiety. By the time I finally did it I think I was able to just convey to him that I meant business, and that there was no other option. I also needed to believe that he was just manipulating me, which he clearly was (still is, little devil - he owns me), and truly believe that I was doing the right thing for us. whatever you do, I think you need to truly believe in your heart it's the right thing, and not just do it because you're sleep deprived and a little desperate. Some kids train easily with the use of good habits (like my #1) and some learn that a little crying will get them cuddled all night. Knowing your kid will help you make a decision. Good luck! |
Anonymous
+1. Though DS is only 2. He's just not a good sleeper. |