Financial aid "dried up"

[Anonymous]

+1. And hold your head high. Remember, the FA kids are admitted to the school because the school really, really wants them there--for everything that they bring to the school. Can the FA haters say that about their children? I doubt it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think I know that family!

Me, too!!!! Unbelievable gall of some people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After many years of paying full tuition at private school, I can say that I am tired of being hit up for financial aid contributions for those who may or may not be able to pay full tuition. I know of too many parents seeking aid who have second homes at the shore, one working spouse, million dollar plus homes, expensive cars, fancy vacations, etc. I have already shelled out over $250,000 for my kids and we aren't even through middle school. Why should I be expected to pay for someone else's child's tuition, too?

100% agree

This exactly. We earn plenty of money but like to donate as we see fit. I don't want to subsidize someone else's lifestyle while their kids go to private school.

Ditto

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After many years of paying full tuition at private school, I can say that I am tired of being hit up for financial aid contributions for those who may or may not be able to pay full tuition. I know of too many parents seeking aid who have second homes at the shore, one working spouse, million dollar plus homes, expensive cars, fancy vacations, etc. I have already shelled out over $250,000 for my kids and we aren't even through middle school. Why should I be expected to pay for someone else's child's tuition, too?

100% agree

This exactly. We earn plenty of money but like to donate as we see fit. I don't want to subsidize someone else's lifestyle while their kids go to private school.

I think this is the same person dredging up these stories over and over again. NO ONE who receives financial aid tells other people about it, because we don't want our kids to be labeled by nasty parents as "the financial aid kid." So I don't for one minute believe these stories about the millionaires bragging about their large financial aid packages. How absurd.

We are a 2-income family (no one sits at home eating bon bons all day): one govt worker, one nonprofit worker, 2 kids who receive FA. How did our kids get accepted when the school knew we were seeking financial aid? I have no idea. My kids are as bright, athletic, artistic, and charming as everyone else's kids, and like everyone else, it seems, they scored extremely high on the admissions tests. Plus, I suspect that the SCHOOL--unlike many of the parents, apparently--doesn't think that giving financial aid to middle class families is a dumb idea.

For the record, we have one used car that is almost 10 years old. We don't own and never will own a second home. And our vacations consist of visiting grandparents and friends, although OMG we did actually go to Williamsburg and stay in an actual hotel for 2 days over spring break--and it even had a pool! Gosh, hope no one resents us for it! My kids loved it, even though the older one was slightly embarrassed to report on our fun little vacation when he got back to school, seeing as how everyone else seemed to go to the Caribbean.

I am not sure you are the type of parent these folks are criticiizing. Your lifestyles seems to be no frills. I think folks are talking about people who clearly live high on the hog while getting that FA check at the same time. And while I have not heard anyone bragging about it getting it, I have heard the family at our school with a big house in Palisades driving an Escalade and an Audi SUV complaining about their FA being cut by 10%. LOUDLY!

We have a Toyota family car and a 10+ yr old commuter car. We pay full tuition and donate to the school. I certainly hope we are not subsidizing other people's fancy German imports.

[Anonymous]

Yup, financial aid is about dried up in this area and gaining some is a crap shoot. Better bring something unique to the table in return.

[Anonymous]

Are you one of the people who whine about financial aid recipients? Do you have an opinion on how many hair shirts their children should be required to wear while they are so graciously permitted to mingle with your own offspring for 6 hours every day? If so, please bring your opinions to your children's school administrators, preferably during the application process. Second-guessing the school's traditions and priorities is certain to make a winning impression.

[Anonymous]

22:10 My irritation with having to subsidize someone's private tuition has nothing to do with not wanting my child to associate with someone who's parents earn less. It is pure economics. I am tired of paying other children's tuition. It costs enough for my own children--pure and simple economics.

[Anonymous]

I think that there are some good points made on this thread--the trickiest is *when and why* financial aid should be given. I know very few parents who resent giving financial aid when it is truly needed AND changes the trajectory of a child's life. Giving financial aid to middle class kids presents a different problem-sure they *need* it to attend private school, but realistically their outcomes in life will probably be ok if they didn't attend private school because their parents will have the means to get them into some good public school, etc. Thus I totally understand all the parents who are pulling full freight wondering why and how their money is being used and whether school's are being good capital stewards.

The sadder question is why the generosity of parents can't be funneled to kids where admission truly could do something to change a child's course, break generational poverty, etc. instead of to middle class families.

[Anonymous]

5:16: so take it up with your school, which presumably has good reasons for allocating money the way it does.

[Anonymous]

Well, of course I can take it up with my school. My question is one though that probably only admissions people could address and is private information. Are applicants that really need the money (poor and struggling families) not up to par academically? They are up to par academically but if you give a full ride it means 2 other kids who have families that can pay at least 50% of tuition are out? I think these are tough decisions that people have to make. I'm just observing that it gives people a very different sensation to pay full tuition and see a kid from some poor family who is a hard worker get in on financial aid versus a middle class kid with two parents as academics.

[Anonymous]

Alright, 19:29, that was over the line. The school doesn't actually want the kids of people who pay full tuition? Those kids don't bring anything special to the table?

Funny, I just today sent my check in to support the upcoming scholarship auction. I sent it to school with my older child (one of two worthless kids the school doesn't want). I hope she forgets to hand it in so I can rip the check up tonight. It was a four figure check. After all, I really don't see why I should pay to send other people's kids to a school that doesn't want my kids. I'm not sure why I am paying to send my kids there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Alright, 19:29, that was over the line. The school doesn't actually want the kids of people who pay full tuition? Those kids don't bring anything special to the table?

Funny, I just today sent my check in to support the upcoming scholarship auction. I sent it to school with my older child (one of two worthless kids the school doesn't want). I hope she forgets to hand it in so I can rip the check up tonight. It was a four figure check. After all, I really don't see why I should pay to send other people's kids to a school that doesn't want my kids. I'm not sure why I am paying to send my kids there.

Oh goodness. Please don't let your feelings get hurt because of some nasty posters on DCUM. I really appreciate your generosity (in a general sense) and I'm glad that some families like yours with the means to do so support the scholarship fund. Without families like yours the school probably wouldn't be sucessfull at all.

All children have something special to offer to their schools...

[Anonymous]

OP:

This is a tough one. It does not hurt to apply for it. Just understand that, depending on the school, you may not get enough to fully close the gap. That is what happened with us and we still had to make a few changes to make it work.

IMO, the bigger issue is this (at least it was for us) is that, as academics, your income is not likely to increase that much if you stay in that field and in this area. If Holton is the choice, you are looking at significant financial aid for the next 8-9 years and there will a lot of stress associated with being at the mercy of the FA process – because honestly, you are in the gray area of need. GL

[Anonymous]

19:29 It isn't that the school "really, really" wants your child there. What they are trying to do is come up with some diversity statistics to put on their website to show how inclusive they are on all matters including economics and therefore assuage the guilt of the privileged who they really want and need to pay tuition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:19:29 It isn't that the school "really, really" wants your child there. What they are trying to do is come up with some diversity statistics to put on their website to show how inclusive they are on all matters including economics and therefore assuage the guilt of the privileged who they really want and need to pay tuition.

I think this is too harsh. I think they are trying to find a compromise between what they need to keep their school alive and their ideals. Obviously there would be no school at all if there were not paying customers. This, however, results in inequality. They can not solve the inequality of the world themselves. They do what they can (which is not much... just a small number of FA students). It would be nice if our society valued education enough to make great schools available for everybody. But our society doesn't. It won't gives schools the resources they need. You can vote, you can try to make a difference. But, in the end you have to protect yourself and just do the little good you personally can do.