Financial aid "dried up"

[Anonymous]

Repeating prior post with corrected formatting. Sorry for the mistake.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:... Every school has a mix and full pay families are needed more than ever now. It's just thatI don't think its so bad that we are going back to a solely private pay only system. I think privates probably gave that up for a better tax status years ago and can't ever go back on that.

I'm confused. So the private schools are roughly half diverse and half not and roughly half FA and half full paying? And you'd like to see schools go to all full paying but the school's tax status prevents it from doing so? Yeah, I have no idea what the point is.

I don't think PP's point about "trading for a better tax status" has any basis in fact. All these schools are tax exempt simply because they are non-profits under the applicable tax regs. See http://www.law.cornell.edu/wex/Non-profit_organizations and http://www.irs.gov/publications/p557/ch03.html . It does not matter at all how much (or how little) financial aid they choose to offer.

A few people have raised the argument many times before on DCUM that private schools should be denied tax-exempt status. I think their argument has something to do with geography -- complaining that DC private schools are admitting too many MD & VA residents. IMHO, it's a stupid argument. But if you're interested, you certainly can find a dozen or more pages of discussion about it in the DCUM archives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
This hypothetical person doesn't have enough money to pay for a $30k school. If this person wants a Ferrari, should we give her a discount on that as well? Private school is a luxury, not some sort of entitlement.

But how can you fault parents who want the best education for their child? And face it, privates do offer a better education.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
This hypothetical person doesn't have enough money to pay for a $30k school. If this person wants a Ferrari, should we give her a discount on that as well? Private school is a luxury, not some sort of entitlement.

But how can you fault parents who want the best education for their child? And face it, privates do offer a better education.

Nobody is faulting the OP for wanting the best education for her child. We all want that. But this education has to be paid for somehow. OP has shared most of the details about her DD and her situation, but I have yet to read what sacrifices she is willing to make so that her child can get this great education.

My DD just graduated from a local private high school (not a Big 3…but one with a good reputation). When we applied, we were right on the borderline for FA for new students. Well, we crunched the numbers and realized that if we made some lifestyle sacrifices, we could afford to pay full freight. In our minds, we were morally opposed to getting FA for a private education when we could cut some frills and pay ourselves. We believed that we would be taking away the FA opportunity for someone who really could not afford it. So we cut out the big vacation every year, kept cars a little longer and really scrubbed our expenses.

I could be wrong….but the OP’s various posting reflects an attitude of “I want my cake and to eat it too.” I think that is what folks are reacting to.

[Anonymous]

If your daughter understands that the finances may or may not quite work for private school (depending on FA), then I say GO FOR IT! Forget all the crazy folks on the board and apply to several schools that you like and see what happens. The hardest part is all the work filling out applications and then the stress on the child during the interviews and testing. It sounds to me like you daughter won't be very stressed out -- since she is so involved at looking at schools. Roll the dice and see what happens. You'll never know unless you try.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Well, we crunched the numbers and realized that if we made some lifestyle sacrifices, we could afford to pay full freight. In our minds, we were morally opposed to getting FA for a private education when we could cut some frills and pay ourselves. We believed that we would be taking away the FA opportunity for someone who really could not afford it. .

Too bad a lot of parents don't feel the way you do. The FA you gave up probably just went to buy someone a new mercedes. I worked with FA at a school often mentioned on here and you would be shocked at the amount of game playing and scamming that goes on with parents to avoid paying tuition. Many of the families could afford it if they wanted to, but would rather take the FA. I actually didn't send my DC to the school I worked at because there was no way I was going to write out a full tuition check when I knew what other parents were getting away with. It probably happens at other schools too, but I figured I would rather just not know.

[Anonymous]

After many years of paying full tuition at private school, I can say that I am tired of being hit up for financial aid contributions for those who may or may not be able to pay full tuition. I know of too many parents seeking aid who have second homes at the shore, one working spouse, million dollar plus homes, expensive cars, fancy vacations, etc. I have already shelled out over $250,000 for my kids and we aren't even through middle school. Why should I be expected to pay for someone else's child's tuition, too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After many years of paying full tuition at private school, I can say that I am tired of being hit up for financial aid contributions for those who may or may not be able to pay full tuition. I know of too many parents seeking aid who have second homes at the shore, one working spouse, million dollar plus homes, expensive cars, fancy vacations, etc. I have already shelled out over $250,000 for my kids and we aren't even through middle school. Why should I be expected to pay for someone else's child's tuition, too?

100% agree

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Well, we crunched the numbers and realized that if we made some lifestyle sacrifices, we could afford to pay full freight. In our minds, we were morally opposed to getting FA for a private education when we could cut some frills and pay ourselves. We believed that we would be taking away the FA opportunity for someone who really could not afford it. .

Too bad a lot of parents don't feel the way you do. The FA you gave up probably just went to buy someone a new mercedes. I worked with FA at a school often mentioned on here and you would be shocked at the amount of game playing and scamming that goes on with parents to avoid paying tuition. Many of the families could afford it if they wanted to, but would rather take the FA. I actually didn't send my DC to the school I worked at because there was no way I was going to write out a full tuition check when I knew what other parents were getting away with. It probably happens at other schools too, but I figured I would rather just not know.

I am sure it does happen everywhere. I also knew some families who did it. I was in a parent booster meeting and one woman aggressively wanted to adjourn the meeting because she needed to go home and finish the FA form which was due the next day. Earlier in the meeting, the same woman was bragging that her family was renting a house in Nice for a week that summer and the vacation was costing $10,000. One of the other mothers called it “glorified welfare fraud.” :D

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After many years of paying full tuition at private school, I can say that I am tired of being hit up for financial aid contributions for those who may or may not be able to pay full tuition. I know of too many parents seeking aid who have second homes at the shore, one working spouse, million dollar plus homes, expensive cars, fancy vacations, etc. I have already shelled out over $250,000 for my kids and we aren't even through middle school. Why should I be expected to pay for someone else's child's tuition, too?

100% agree

This exactly. We earn plenty of money but like to donate as we see fit. I don't want to subsidize someone else's lifestyle while their kids go to private school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After many years of paying full tuition at private school, I can say that I am tired of being hit up for financial aid contributions for those who may or may not be able to pay full tuition. I know of too many parents seeking aid who have second homes at the shore, one working spouse, million dollar plus homes, expensive cars, fancy vacations, etc. I have already shelled out over $250,000 for my kids and we aren't even through middle school. Why should I be expected to pay for someone else's child's tuition, too?

100% agree

This exactly. We earn plenty of money but like to donate as we see fit. I don't want to subsidize someone else's lifestyle while their kids go to private school.

I think this is the same person dredging up these stories over and over again. NO ONE who receives financial aid tells other people about it, because we don't want our kids to be labeled by nasty parents as "the financial aid kid." So I don't for one minute believe these stories about the millionaires bragging about their large financial aid packages. How absurd.

We are a 2-income family (no one sits at home eating bon bons all day): one govt worker, one nonprofit worker, 2 kids who receive FA. How did our kids get accepted when the school knew we were seeking financial aid? I have no idea. My kids are as bright, athletic, artistic, and charming as everyone else's kids, and like everyone else, it seems, they scored extremely high on the admissions tests. Plus, I suspect that the SCHOOL--unlike many of the parents, apparently--doesn't think that giving financial aid to middle class families is a dumb idea.

For the record, we have one used car that is almost 10 years old. We don't own and never will own a second home. And our vacations consist of visiting grandparents and friends, although OMG we did actually go to Williamsburg and stay in an actual hotel for 2 days over spring break--and it even had a pool! Gosh, hope no one resents us for it! My kids loved it, even though the older one was slightly embarrassed to report on our fun little vacation when he got back to school, seeing as how everyone else seemed to go to the Caribbean.

[Anonymous]

PP you would be surprised how many people know who receives financial aid, but in any event, I am paying enough for my own kids. It isn't realistic that I am asked to subsidize someone else's child by increased tuition of direct requests for scholarship fund contributions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After many years of paying full tuition at private school, I can say that I am tired of being hit up for financial aid contributions for those who may or may not be able to pay full tuition. I know of too many parents seeking aid who have second homes at the shore, one working spouse, million dollar plus homes, expensive cars, fancy vacations, etc. I have already shelled out over $250,000 for my kids and we aren't even through middle school. Why should I be expected to pay for someone else's child's tuition, too?

100% agree

This exactly. We earn plenty of money but like to donate as we see fit. I don't want to subsidize someone else's lifestyle while their kids go to private school.

I think this is the same person dredging up these stories over and over again. NO ONE who receives financial aid tells other people about it, because we don't want our kids to be labeled by nasty parents as "the financial aid kid." So I don't for one minute believe these stories about the millionaires bragging about their large financial aid packages. How absurd.

We are a 2-income family (no one sits at home eating bon bons all day): one govt worker, one nonprofit worker, 2 kids who receive FA. How did our kids get accepted when the school knew we were seeking financial aid? I have no idea. My kids are as bright, athletic, artistic, and charming as everyone else's kids, and like everyone else, it seems, they scored extremely high on the admissions tests. Plus, I suspect that the SCHOOL--unlike many of the parents, apparently--doesn't think that giving financial aid to middle class families is a dumb idea.

For the record, we have one used car that is almost 10 years old. We don't own and never will own a second home. And our vacations consist of visiting grandparents and friends, although OMG we did actually go to Williamsburg and stay in an actual hotel for 2 days over spring break--and it even had a pool! Gosh, hope no one resents us for it! My kids loved it, even though the older one was slightly embarrassed to report on our fun little vacation when he got back to school, seeing as how everyone else seemed to go to the Caribbean.

I am not sure you are the type of parent these folks are criticiizing. Your lifestyles seems to be no frills. I think folks are talking about people who clearly live high on the hog while getting that FA check at the same time. And while I have not heard anyone bragging about it getting it, I have heard the family at our school with a big house in Palisades driving an Escalade and an Audi SUV complaining about their FA being cut by 10%. LOUDLY!

[Anonymous]

Just where do you think the money comes from for "the schools" to hand out financial aid? Although some contributions come from alumni, most of it coming directly out of the pockets of those paying full tuition.

[Anonymous]

I think I know that family!

[Anonymous]

Dream big for your child OP! Definitely check out Holton; it sounds like a great fit for your daughter, and they have a pretty good endowment. Go for it. Financial aid is there for a reason, and I don't see why you are any less deserving of aid than others.