Kids walking home from bus stop by themselves

[Anonymous]

Our elementary school is a block and two cross streets away. First-grader DS has been walking to and from school by himself this school year. We like it and so does he. I don't see a need to walk him to school or pick up. The path to school is a main route used by dozens of kids and there's a guard on every crossing. What else does he need?

[Anonymous]

Our elementary school is a block and two cross streets away. First-grader DS has been walking to and from school by himself this school year. We like it and so does he. I don't see a need to walk him to school or pick up. The path to school is a main route used by dozens of kids and there's a guard on every crossing. What else does he need?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids' bus stop is a block away. Starting the year one was in 1st grade and one was prek 4, they have generally gone to and from the bus stop alone. When the older one was in the 4s year and K, I was at the bus stop like the rest of the parents. But I kind of wish the kids could all have more independence together. Meaning, I want my kids to be unsupervised, but they are actually standing around with a bunch of other parents.

Agree with this so much! A very helicoptery mom actually walked my second grader home to our front door the second day of school and thought I was running late. I told her, no, Larlo can walk home by himself and she was so surprised, like the idea hadn't occurred to her. She has a third grader!

I'm the first poster above. I'm so happy to know that I'm not alone in this. I honestly think the other bus stop parents think that I'm relying on them to watch my kids. Like I don't have to be at the bus stop because they are there.

When DD was very little we had one of the older kids walk her to the corner. She didn’t need it really but it was not a bad thing. We would get the older kid treats at holidays or you could pay them a few dollars a week.

[Anonymous]

A very wise woman told me once — you want there to be more than a couple of years between them beginning to cross the street by themselves and when they start to put on condoms.

Food for thought.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We pick up our kids. Why have kids if you do not want the responsibility

My responsibility to my children is to help them grow into confident and capable adults.

Erik Erikson:

Industry (competence) vs. Inferiority
Industry versus inferiority is the fourth stage of Erik Erikson's theory of psychosocial development. The stage occurs during childhood between the ages of five and twelve.

Children are at the stage where they will be learning to read and write, to do sums, to do things on their own. Teachers begin to take an important role in the child’s life as they teach the child specific skills.

It is at this stage that the child’s peer group will gain greater significance and will become a major source of the child’s self-esteem. The child now feels the need to win approval by demonstrating specific competencies that are valued by society and begin to develop a sense of pride in their accomplishments.

If children are encouraged and reinforced for their initiative, they begin to feel industrious and feel confident in their ability to achieve goals. If this initiative is not encouraged, if it is restricted by parents or teacher, then the child begins to feel inferior, doubting his own abilities and therefore may not reach his or her potential.

If the child cannot develop the specific skill they feel society is demanding (e.g., being athletic) then they may develop a sense of inferiority. Some failure may be necessary so that the child can develop some modesty. Again, a balance between competence and modesty is necessary. Success in this stage will lead to the virtue of competence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay, just wanted opinions. I have a first grader and third grader. I live in a nice suburban neighborhood and my DCs bus stop is right down the street on the corner. It's very close. Yet all the parents (who live about the same distance as me) take their kids to the bus stop and wait with them until pick-up. Then these parents meet their kids at the bus stop after school. I'm not against this by any means. I realize the world is a scary place... and it's good to drop off and pick up the young kids, esp. Kindergartners. But at what age do you draw the line? There are parents that pick up their 5th and 6th graders (even if they live right across the street or a few doors down).

I remember walking to school by myself in first grade and when I switched schools, I walked to the bus stop by myself... in second grade. I guess I'm asking because I have an 18 month old and it's hard to get to the bus stop because she naps around the time the bus comes. I've told my kids before to just walk home if I'm not at the bus stop, but well-meaning parents drive or walk my kids to my house and look at me with concern because I wasn't waiting for my kids. I've told them that it's okay for my kids to walk home... but they don't seem to get it. What would you do?

In my neighborhood it would not be OK. Even though it's a nice neighborhood, people take their kids to school and pick them up every day right up until middle school. Exceptions have occasionally been made for 6th graders walking together with siblings in 3/4th grade or higher. Certainly not a third grader. You can call it helicoptering or whatever you want, but that's how it is here and if you do something different people are going to worry.

[Anonymous]

wow, what neighborhood is that? That's crazy.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t let any child under 10 walk alone if crossing a street was involved. I’ve seen sources (including the link below) saying that kids under 10 aren’t ready to cross a street alone.

“The Safe Routes to School program recommends children under the age of 10 not cross a street alone.”

https://www.care.com/c/stories/3239/when-can-kids-walk-to-school-alone/amp/

Even without a street to cross, there’s always a chance of a neighbor zooming back out of a driveway without looking. Even on a street that isn’t busy, a driver could be speeding or texting.

Grownups such as an Ashburn school principal have made mistakes when crossing and gotten hit and killed. A child under 10 doesn’t have the cognitive maturity to consistently make good judgments or reliably handle an unexpected situation that might arise.

Groups of kids at bus stops may start running around and grabbing each other’s backpacks, for example, and begin pulling and spinning each other around at the edge of a sidewalk near traffic, again not having the maturity to realize that they could fall into the path of traffic. Parents at our bus stop regularly have to intervene with kids getting too close to traffic or being too active while they are waiting for the bus. So some parents being there absolutely helps to keep the group safe.

[Anonymous]

I would LOVE to be able to do this. Our school requires a parent/adult at the bus stop until 3rd grade. Sadly when DS1 is in 3rd, his brother will be in K. I will never be free of the bus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay, just wanted opinions. I have a first grader and third grader. I live in a nice suburban neighborhood and my DCs bus stop is right down the street on the corner. It's very close. Yet all the parents (who live about the same distance as me) take their kids to the bus stop and wait with them until pick-up. Then these parents meet their kids at the bus stop after school. I'm not against this by any means. I realize the world is a scary place... and it's good to drop off and pick up the young kids, esp. Kindergartners. But at what age do you draw the line? There are parents that pick up their 5th and 6th graders (even if they live right across the street or a few doors down).

I remember walking to school by myself in first grade and when I switched schools, I walked to the bus stop by myself... in second grade. I guess I'm asking because I have an 18 month old and it's hard to get to the bus stop because she naps around the time the bus comes. I've told my kids before to just walk home if I'm not at the bus stop, but well-meaning parents drive or walk my kids to my house and look at me with concern because I wasn't waiting for my kids. I've told them that it's okay for my kids to walk home... but they don't seem to get it. What would you do?

I would instruct my kids to tell any adults "Actually our mom has given us permission to walk home by ourselves and we'd prefer not to have adults join us. Thanks for your concern though, and we'll definitely ask for help from an adult if there are any problems. Have a nice afternoon!" And for sure I would absolutely be teaching my kids to never, ever get into a car unless they've previously discussed it with me.

FWIW I'd personally view a 1st grader as too young to walk home without an adult, but I'd definitely trust my oldest if he was in 3rd grade. 5th grade is fine IMO if they're good kids. I was walking a younger sibling home in 5th grade. The biggest issue I think is crossing the road. If there are lights or no roads to cross then I'd feel pretty comfortable at a young age (if they knew to stay away from all adults, even if it's a friend's parent or relative) but if they had to cross any roads by themselves then I'd probably prefer that they be older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Okay, just wanted opinions. I have a first grader and third grader. I live in a nice suburban neighborhood and my DCs bus stop is right down the street on the corner. It's very close. Yet all the parents (who live about the same distance as me) take their kids to the bus stop and wait with them until pick-up. Then these parents meet their kids at the bus stop after school. I'm not against this by any means. I realize the world is a scary place... and it's good to drop off and pick up the young kids, esp. Kindergartners. But at what age do you draw the line? There are parents that pick up their 5th and 6th graders (even if they live right across the street or a few doors down).

I remember walking to school by myself in first grade and when I switched schools, I walked to the bus stop by myself... in second grade. I guess I'm asking because I have an 18 month old and it's hard to get to the bus stop because she naps around the time the bus comes. I've told my kids before to just walk home if I'm not at the bus stop, but well-meaning parents drive or walk my kids to my house and look at me with concern because I wasn't waiting for my kids. I've told them that it's okay for my kids to walk home... but they don't seem to get it. What would you do?

I would instruct my kids to tell any adults "Actually our mom has given us permission to walk home by ourselves and we'd prefer not to have adults join us. Thanks for your concern though, and we'll definitely ask for help from an adult if there are any problems. Have a nice afternoon!" And for sure I would absolutely be teaching my kids to never, ever get into a car unless they've previously discussed it with me.

FWIW I'd personally view a 1st grader as too young to walk home without an adult, but I'd definitely trust my oldest if he was in 3rd grade. 5th grade is fine IMO if they're good kids. I was walking a younger sibling home in 5th grade. The biggest issue I think is crossing the road. If there are lights or no roads to cross then I'd feel pretty comfortable at a young age (if they knew to stay away from all adults, even if it's a friend's parent or relative) but if they had to cross any roads by themselves then I'd probably prefer that they be older.

PP here. I just read a couple of other PP responses and I wanted to add that I'd also prefer that my kids walk together by themselves, without other kids. I feel pretty confident knowing how they behave on their own, but who knows how things would change in a big group of unsupervised kids and who knows what the other kids could do that's dangerous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Okay, just wanted opinions. I have a first grader and third grader. I live in a nice suburban neighborhood and my DCs bus stop is right down the street on the corner. It's very close. Yet all the parents (who live about the same distance as me) take their kids to the bus stop and wait with them until pick-up. Then these parents meet their kids at the bus stop after school. I'm not against this by any means. I realize the world is a scary place... and it's good to drop off and pick up the young kids, esp. Kindergartners. But at what age do you draw the line? There are parents that pick up their 5th and 6th graders (even if they live right across the street or a few doors down).

I remember walking to school by myself in first grade and when I switched schools, I walked to the bus stop by myself... in second grade. I guess I'm asking because I have an 18 month old and it's hard to get to the bus stop because she naps around the time the bus comes. I've told my kids before to just walk home if I'm not at the bus stop, but well-meaning parents drive or walk my kids to my house and look at me with concern because I wasn't waiting for my kids. I've told them that it's okay for my kids to walk home... but they don't seem to get it. What would you do?

I would instruct my kids to tell any adults "Actually our mom has given us permission to walk home by ourselves and we'd prefer not to have adults join us. Thanks for your concern though, and we'll definitely ask for help from an adult if there are any problems. Have a nice afternoon!" And for sure I would absolutely be teaching my kids to never, ever get into a car unless they've previously discussed it with me.

FWIW I'd personally view a 1st grader as too young to walk home without an adult, but I'd definitely trust my oldest if he was in 3rd grade. 5th grade is fine IMO if they're good kids. I was walking a younger sibling home in 5th grade. The biggest issue I think is crossing the road. If there are lights or no roads to cross then I'd feel pretty comfortable at a young age (if they knew to stay away from all adults, even if it's a friend's parent or relative) but if they had to cross any roads by themselves then I'd probably prefer that they be older.

PP here. I just read a couple of other PP responses and I wanted to add that I'd also prefer that my kids walk together by themselves, without other kids. I feel pretty confident knowing how they behave on their own, but who knows how things would change in a big group of unsupervised kids and who knows what the other kids could do that's dangerous.

You have NO control over this. Either you want them to be independent or you want control. Which is it?

[Anonymous]

You all know this thread is 7 years old, right??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You all know this thread is 7 years old, right??

What, did society not have any more kids in the last 7 years? This is still relevant. It's not like in the last 7 years, they got rid of streets, schools and elementary school age kids who need to walk home from the bus stop. Sheesh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You all know this thread is 7 years old, right??

What, did society not have any more kids in the last 7 years? This is still relevant. It's not like in the last 7 years, they got rid of streets, schools and elementary school age kids who need to walk home from the bus stop. Sheesh.

I, for one, appreciate our tireless DCUM historian. Were it not for her, we would be listlessly enjoying the discussion without much concern for chronology.