Kids walking home from bus stop by themselves

[Anonymous]

Okay, just wanted opinions. I have a first grader and third grader. I live in a nice suburban neighborhood and my DCs bus stop is right down the street on the corner. It's very close. Yet all the parents (who live about the same distance as me) take their kids to the bus stop and wait with them until pick-up. Then these parents meet their kids at the bus stop after school. I'm not against this by any means. I realize the world is a scary place... and it's good to drop off and pick up the young kids, esp. Kindergartners. But at what age do you draw the line? There are parents that pick up their 5th and 6th graders (even if they live right across the street or a few doors down).

I remember walking to school by myself in first grade and when I switched schools, I walked to the bus stop by myself... in second grade. I guess I'm asking because I have an 18 month old and it's hard to get to the bus stop because she naps around the time the bus comes. I've told my kids before to just walk home if I'm not at the bus stop, but well-meaning parents drive or walk my kids to my house and look at me with concern because I wasn't waiting for my kids. I've told them that it's okay for my kids to walk home... but they don't seem to get it. What would you do?

[Anonymous]

From a safety/moral standpoint, I think it depends on the kid.

From a "when will I do it" standpoint, it depends on the law.

I know i personally struggle with my tendancy to "hover" and my desire to raise and independent kid. I try to push myself to let go a little, and give my kid independence (he's 4) and then start questioning myself when other mom give me the evil eye. But, overall my kid is just a good kid. I can see where other mom's have to keep hovering, because their kids are a little more apt to get into mischief.

[Anonymous]

I've been wondering this myself. Someone told me that MoCo expects you meet the bus for k-2, but I don't know if that's true. We have a singleton who will be in 3rd next year and we'll probably continue to drop off/pick up out of habit but if I had a good reason not to then I think by 3rd grade they should be able to walk home (so yes, I think your kids should be able to).

[Anonymous]

I heard about a middle schooler being followed and harassed more than once in my neighborhood when walking home from the bus stop. So that would make me think twice (kids are too young yet anyway), although it does appear that the bus stop is just at the top of the road. I'd let a 1st and 3rd grader walk together that distance.

But if I was home...yeah, I might just go meet the bus just to see my kids. Not because I don't think they could walk half a block, but because I wanted to see them.

[Anonymous]

My second-grader walks home from the bus stop, but the stop is three houses away from ours and I can watch him from the window and see him walking home. Even if I couldn't see him, though, we're close enough to where I would feel okay with him going himself.

[Anonymous]

I am baffled by the modern day bus stop culture.

Did anyone else grow up in a place where parents NEVER waited at the bus stop? Even when I was in kindergarten and first grade, the older kids looked out for the little kids (this was K-6 back in the day). I also started walking to school alone in probably 3rd or 4th grade. It was a 15-20 minute walk. It's not that my parents didn't love me, I swear!! This was just normal. I understand that people have safety concerns. But I'm sure we've all read the same statistics...that the world isn't any less safe than when we were kids and it's just our perception that it is because of 24-7 news coverage. I also think expectations are just so different. As the OP says, other parents treat you like a weirdo if you let your kids walk alone anywhere.

It just seems sort of sad. I have a lot of fond memories of hanging out with other kids at the bus stop (and not parents) and making the walk to school. These kids are just supervised by adults ALL THE TIME. When do they learn to trust themselves and have independence/confidence?

[Anonymous]

My kids are 5th & 3rd and they have gone back & forth to the bus stop without an adult since they were in 3rd & 1st. Next year I will also have a 1st grader on the bus & he will go with his siblings. I do go down to the bus stop sometimes, but not because they need me there. Sometimes I just feel like going & waiting for the bus.

Our bus stop is a few houses away and I cannot see it from my house. I think it's easier letting them go without you when they are with a sibling. My oldest did not go to the bus stop alone as a 2nd grader, though in hindsight, she definitely could have.

I walked to school all alone as a kindergartener, part of it was along a busy road, and I remember being really scared walking all by myself. It was a 10-minute walk and I had to pass by a house with a big dog that always barked & I was terrified he was going to chase me. I can't believe my mother didn't drive me, but she just sent me out the door every morning. I would never send one of my kids out alone every morning like that to walk all the way to school.

[Anonymous]

I'll stop when they can drive themselves to school. Depends on your hood.

[Anonymous]

I grew up in the Midwest - affluent neighborhood full of huge families. Never did I see a parent at the bus stop - I walked about 3/4 of a mile at 5 to K, past the scary barking dogs, an old guy flasher (happened just once my friend and I when we were a block from school) etc.

When I later switched to a public jr high and then a private HS there was never a parent, ever at the bus stop - there were elementary kids getting off the private school bus as well. We all found our ways home just fine - even in the midst of the occasional flasher.

Thankfully, our current neighborhood in No. VA has a mix of anxious parents and "let 'em walk" types so everyone is well looked after.

[Anonymous]

This post reminds me of something my mother told me about how her upbringing was so incredibly different (and also to laugh at my grandma.) She grew up in Israel, which she said was very much like one large village, and she used to walk to school by herself at Kindergarten (a long way.) She had to cross a very busy street on her way so her mother told her to ask an adult also crossing the street to help her cross (which was apparently very common there/then.) But in the next breath she'd tell my mom never to talk to strangers.

[Anonymous]

I walked home from my suburban school alone when I was in first grade. When I was in second grade a girl I played with over the summer was kidnapped while riding her bike to a local park and was never found. Today I work in the news business and every day on the state wires there are so many stomach turning stories of sexual predators, there is NO WAY I'd let my kids out on the street alone the way we used to when I was little. Maybe when they are in 5th.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay, just wanted opinions. I have a first grader and third grader. I live in a nice suburban neighborhood and my DCs bus stop is right down the street on the corner. It's very close. Yet all the parents (who live about the same distance as me) take their kids to the bus stop and wait with them until pick-up. Then these parents meet their kids at the bus stop after school. I'm not against this by any means. I realize the world is a scary place... and it's good to drop off and pick up the young kids, esp. Kindergartners. But at what age do you draw the line? There are parents that pick up their 5th and 6th graders (even if they live right across the street or a few doors down).

I remember walking to school by myself in first grade and when I switched schools, I walked to the bus stop by myself... in second grade. I guess I'm asking because I have an 18 month old and it's hard to get to the bus stop because she naps around the time the bus comes. I've told my kids before to just walk home if I'm not at the bus stop, but well-meaning parents drive or walk my kids to my house and look at me with concern because I wasn't waiting for my kids. I've told them that it's okay for my kids to walk home... but they don't seem to get it. What would you do?

I would be very thankful to the parents and try to think of something I could do in return.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:M

I walked to school all alone as a kindergartener, part of it was along a busy road, and I remember being really scared walking all by myself. It was a 10-minute walk and I had to pass by a house with a big dog that always barked & I was terrified he was going to chase me. I can't believe my mother didn't drive me, but she just sent me out the door every morning. I would never send one of my kids out alone every morning like that to walk all the way to school.

Where did you grow up - me too, exactly

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am baffled by the modern day bus stop culture.

Did anyone else grow up in a place where parents NEVER waited at the bus stop? Even when I was in kindergarten and first grade, the older kids looked out for the little kids (this was K-6 back in the day). I also started walking to school alone in probably 3rd or 4th grade. It was a 15-20 minute walk. It's not that my parents didn't love me, I swear!! This was just normal. I understand that people have safety concerns. But I'm sure we've all read the same statistics...that the world isn't any less safe than when we were kids and it's just our perception that it is because of 24-7 news coverage. I also think expectations are just so different. As the OP says, other parents treat you like a weirdo if you let your kids walk alone anywhere.

It just seems sort of sad. I have a lot of fond memories of hanging out with other kids at the bus stop (and not parents) and making the walk to school. These kids are just supervised by adults ALL THE TIME. When do they learn to trust themselves and have independence/confidence?

OP here. I agree with this. I feel that parents are way too scared nowadays. I walked to school by myself, waited for the bus without an adult present, walked to my friends houses that lived 15 minutes away. I did all this from Kindergarten and up. With that said, it doesn't mean that it was always right. There are things my mom let me do that I would be hesitant to let my kids do... like letting my first grader walk by herself to a house 15 mins. away.

As for the poster who mentioned that I be thankful and do something in return. Of course I'm thankful to the other parents, but I don't want them to feel that it is necessary for them to go out of their way to walk/drive my kids home (because sometimes they live in the opposite direction). And as for doing something in return, we all chip in and help each other out. I babysit for them when needed and will pick up their kids from the bus stop if they ask me. We all get along pretty well. It's just that I'm comfortable with letting my kids walk home and I don't want them to feel like they have to keep walking/driving them to my house.

[Anonymous]

Times have changed. Maybe it is a good thing, not a bad thing? I've seen lots of data to suggest that the crime rate has actually dropped, but maybe it it is our parents who should have been more careful. I used to play in storm sewer tunnels on the way home from school for crying out loud, NOT a good idea. And we had a long-term flasher problem, including a time he came into the girl's bathroom in our school. This was in the 70's in Fairfax. We didn't wear seatbelts either. Unfortunately there are alot of child predators out there. I want my kids to be independent, but I also need to work with the information I have, which is that there are lots of red dots on that sex offenders map in my zip code...