Parents of “gifted” kids are so annoying!

[Anonymous]

The current definition of gifted is having parents who coached you to accurately solve pattern matching questions. And since the people who develop the CogAT and its ilk haven't had a new creative idea in 20 years as far as question types go, it's a piece of cake to prep and ace and get your coveted gifted label. If you can mentally rotate a square with a circle in the corner or figure out the final form of a fold-and-cut, congratulations, you're gifted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:On Da Vinci’s “to do list” was to draw the inside of a woodpecker’s beak. This is an example of a gifted person never being bored!

Why do parents worry so much about their “gifted” child? If child is self-motivated, the child will find a way to utilize his/her “giftedness”.

Da Vinci was a genius. There’s a difference between genius and being gifted.

da Vinci was also one in a hundred thousand, not merely one in a thousand, and wasn't trapped in a school 30 hours a week. He had much more freedom than a school student.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I agree she’s a jerk. She’s probably putting a lot of her identity into this whole parent of a gifted child basket and it may not be for the best.

But I find this discussion so annoying. When we were in school, there were three levels for every subject. Now there is ONE for everyone from children who do not speak English to the most highly gifted kids who come into school reading because they went to fancy preschool. I am the parent of a kid who is definitely gifted (you can fight me, I don’t care) who constantly gets in trouble for exactly the things that everyone in this thread is saying gifted kids do to avoid boredom - the reading, the drawing, the trying to get homework done in class. They are literally supposed to sit there and just wait in rapt attention to the teacher while they go through a basic concept that they learned years ago over and over, taking breaks to deal with behavior issues. My kid got in trouble today for trying to do their last problem set while the teacher was talking - everyone had to do it for extra homework because the class didn’t get to it.

It is true this child is never bored at home or with friends but yes they are bored the majority of every day in school or they are being yelled at to stop reading and do full body listening. I would never complain about this to someone with a similar aged child but yes it is not great. School is not designed to gifted kids anymore.

School never was designed for gifted kids. My issue with public school in its current state is that it’s not designed for average kids, either! I feel that school is only serving the bottom 10-20 percent. And even that bottom 10-20 percent would be better off being split: Probably 5% need to be in a different school setting, 5-15% need intensive remedial through pull outs or other measures. The remaining 80% can stay mainstreamed and be leveled.

That "bottom 20%" is actually the bottom 50%.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was gifted. I skipped a full grade. I took advanced classes. I started taking the SAT in 7th grade, and outscored my older sibling. I had a nearly perfect score on all standardized tests. Academics were and are super easy for me.

I also struggled socially and was an odd kid. I spent a lot of time reading by myself. I am now a very average adult. I have a good job and I do well at a lot of things. I am smart. I still enjoy reading. I think ive done well professionally because i am logical and have a high processing speed and pick up new tasks quickly. But being gifted meant very little in my life overall.

Start telling this other parent that you are sorry their kid carries this burden, it sounds difficult and too bad they are not more nornal! Gifted means next to nothing outside of elementary school academics.

HHI for your "professional" "good" job?
I bet you're pretty high percentile in renumeration for the effort you put into your work. Decent pay for low effort is a common tradeoff ther smart people make, and still a high end position relatively to effort, even if it's not glamorous or impactful

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the issue is just that the kid is gifted, the child should be able to supplement with personal work. Most likely the child is neurodiverse, and the parent's behavior indicates it might be hereditary.

I think you are correct! The child does not seem neurodiverse but I think the mother perhaps is. Does that mean I should give the mother a break?

Yes. that doesn't mean you need to engage with her on this topic. My answers to the mom like this at our school are always kind but brief, and I kind of try to redirect, or politely leave the conversation to talk to someone else. Hard because this seems to be the only thing she really wants to talk about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:On Da Vinci’s “to do list” was to draw the inside of a woodpecker’s beak. This is an example of a gifted person never being bored!

Why do parents worry so much about their “gifted” child? If child is self-motivated, the child will find a way to utilize his/her “giftedness”.

Da Vinci was a genius. There’s a difference between genius and being gifted.

da Vinci was also one in a hundred thousand, not merely one in a thousand, and wasn't trapped in a school 30 hours a week. He had much more freedom than a school student.

Some of the posters here are definitely using a definition of gifted that seems pretty different from how the term is normally used. If we're talking about era defining geniuses like Da Vinci, then likely no kid in any of our schools right now is "gifted." If we're talking about 98th or 99th percentile (which is usually what schools mean by gifted) then you're going to have a few in most schools. It seems more reasonable to talk about the latter, because they're something most of us are likely to encounter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The current definition of gifted is having parents who coached you to accurately solve pattern matching questions. And since the people who develop the CogAT and its ilk haven't had a new creative idea in 20 years as far as question types go, it's a piece of cake to prep and ace and get your coveted gifted label. If you can mentally rotate a square with a circle in the corner or figure out the final form of a fold-and-cut, congratulations, you're gifted.

+1 excellent response

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:On Da Vinci’s “to do list” was to draw the inside of a woodpecker’s beak. This is an example of a gifted person never being bored!

Why do parents worry so much about their “gifted” child? If child is self-motivated, the child will find a way to utilize his/her “giftedness”.

Da Vinci was a genius. There’s a difference between genius and being gifted.

da Vinci was also one in a hundred thousand, not merely one in a thousand, and wasn't trapped in a school 30 hours a week. He had much more freedom than a school student.

Some of the posters here are definitely using a definition of gifted that seems pretty different from how the term is normally used. If we're talking about era defining geniuses like Da Vinci, then likely no kid in any of our schools right now is "gifted." If we're talking about 98th or 99th percentile (which is usually what schools mean by gifted) then you're going to have a few in most schools. It seems more reasonable to talk about the latter, because they're something most of us are likely to encounter.

The amount of time parents of “gifted” kids gush about their kids being gifted makes me think these parents think their child is going to change the world like Da Vinci and Einstein did.

[Anonymous]

There's a woman with a kid in my class that acts like this ... then to top it off, she held her kid back so she's the absolutely oldest in the class. I don't know that she's even really "gifted" just old for her grade. But she loves to go on and on about how bored her kid is and it's really annoying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There's a woman with a kid in my class that acts like this ... then to top it off, she held her kid back so she's the absolutely oldest in the class. I don't know that she's even really "gifted" just old for her grade. But she loves to go on and on about how bored her kid is and it's really annoying.

In a fake concerned tone, ask her why the school won't let her skip a grade.

[Anonymous]

I don’t know if there is a more annoying term than saying a child is gifted when they are a couple years ahead of grade level. Fine to say they are advanced. To me “gifted” should be a truly unique individual, like the child artist Akiane who painted Jesus when she was 5 or whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know if there is a more annoying term than saying a child is gifted when they are a couple years ahead of grade level. Fine to say they are advanced. To me “gifted” should be a truly unique individual, like the child artist Akiane who painted Jesus when she was 5 or whatever.

I agree with this and hate the word gifted. I have never used it to describe my own kid, and actually I tend to downplay my kid's advanced academics because I don't think it's a competition and in the long run won't matter much.

I do sometimes make different choices from other parents. I think this is the thing about having any kind of outlier kid -- you have to go your own way sometimes. My kid also has signs of being ND. Sometimes when I talk to other parents, I can tell there is annoyance that I'm not doing the same thing they are as a parent. It is not personal, it's just often my kid needs a different approach.

But I don't walk around calling her gifted or complaining about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know if there is a more annoying term than saying a child is gifted when they are a couple years ahead of grade level. Fine to say they are advanced. To me “gifted” should be a truly unique individual, like the child artist Akiane who painted Jesus when she was 5 or whatever.

Why not "gift" these children a flattering label? It's the least the school can do after making them be in the same classes as kids who are a couple grade levels behind.