Coming to Terms with Full Pay

[Anonymous]

Poor people bad, my life sucks because I'm rich, why does everyone hate me???

[Anonymous]

There is a segment of the population that forgets all their otherwise solid financial habits when it comes to their kids attending college.

Don’t spend beyond your means.

If you get financial aid, awesome. If your kid gets merit, awesome. If you’re stuck, like us, at full pay, make the rational financial choice according to your ability. Your kid will be fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Poor people bad, my life sucks because I'm rich, why does everyone hate me???

There’s a reason people bring these conversations to an anonymous board.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is a segment of the population that forgets all their otherwise solid financial habits when it comes to their kids attending college.

Don’t spend beyond your means.

If you get financial aid, awesome. If your kid gets merit, awesome. If you’re stuck, like us, at full pay, make the rational financial choice according to your ability. Your kid will be fine.

On DCUM, we don’t say that those profligate people are overpaying for a luxury brand. We say they “value education.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's your HHI?

Dual career feds are likely in the top2-3% of wage earners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So I started checking the net price calculators. We are both feds and have been for 20-plus years, with plenty of promotions. Own our little rowhouse. Almost paid off. 20 years of TSP. 2 kids, strictly DCPS. Old car, limited spending, lots of savings. No medical bills.

We’re gonna be at max for ability to pay even though we aren’t living in champagne and caviar. Right?

I just need to count my blessings right? We’ve had stability and ability to pay even if we aren’t living high on the hog. People with more precarious lives deserve the lower price. Right?

I guess merit aid is possible - first kid did great on PSAT. But we’re still likely to just pay full freight even then because if he applies to a reach school EA or ED we’ll say yes, right?

Do you really believe that wealthy folks subsist on champagne, caviar, and hogs ?

College is expensive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a foreigner who came to this country 20 years ago, got married and had kids. Even I knew to do my research, land in a state that has a decent flagship and OK-ish other colleges at a "reasonable price" (what passes for reasonable), and emphasize academics so my kids could be competitive for merit aid elsewhere.

I apologize for my nasty tone, but I'm angry on your wallet's behalf. Why would you continue to live in the district and do this to your own finances? It's self-sabotage, and I don't get the middle class families who do this. The working poor can't afford to move out of DC. The middle class cannot afford NOT to move out of DC. Because of college costs. DCPS is such a lower performing system compared to MCPS or FCPS anyway, so apart from a very short commute, you weren't doing your family any favors...

But OK, it's no use crying over spilt milk. Is it too late to move for kid#2?

Dual career fed is not middle class.

Their income is likely well into the $250,000 range, with good healthcare and a generous pension. They are upper class, not middle class.

The issue is that for the past 20 years, college tuition has many times over outpaced actual inflation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's kind of maddening when you are full pay at colleges and your kid's roommates get substantial aid and live much nicer lives than your DC kids do.

I have 2 in college and we are full pay all around with a DC income of $400K. My kids' middle America roommates are both (fr and soph) on 50%+ aid but have cars on campus, much fancier clothing, have all sorts of spending money for eating off campus. My kids have never owned a car, eat in the dining hall full time, etc.

There is something to be said for living in a LCOL area and making under $200K. You go to college for free or at half cost but still have the same lifestyle outside of school as those of us making almost twice the income in a HCOL town.

They could have a bunch of credit card debt, you don’t know their situation.

[Anonymous]

The political capitalist system is set up to get us peasants fighting with each other so we ignore the insane grift that’s happened around rising tuition and student loan programs.

Just like it wants working class people to hate on immigrants and welfare recipients.

The donut hole families are realizing their full pay tuition bill is subsidizing able-bodied parents who choose to stay at home when their kids are self sufficient teenagers. It’s not really the fault of those SAHMs, but the donut holers need some outlet for their frustration because costs are so out of line with the economy.

We’re told not to complain that we can’t afford to send our kids to places our parents were able to afford, like BC. Meanwhile, there’s a kid whining on Reddit right now that they were matched to Boston College on Questbridge and not Harvard.

The system will make you crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The political capitalist system is set up to get us peasants fighting with each other so we ignore the insane grift that’s happened around rising tuition and student loan programs.

Just like it wants working class people to hate on immigrants and welfare recipients.

The donut hole families are realizing their full pay tuition bill is subsidizing able-bodied parents who choose to stay at home when their kids are self sufficient teenagers. It’s not really the fault of those SAHMs, but the donut holers need some outlet for their frustration because costs are so out of line with the economy.

We’re told not to complain that we can’t afford to send our kids to places our parents were able to afford, like BC. Meanwhile, there’s a kid whining on Reddit right now that they were matched to Boston College on Questbridge and not Harvard.

The system will make you crazy.

This sounds like a bunch of whiny BS from someone who made a series of choices and thinks life owes them something.

We can’t always get all that we want all the time.

Move to a lower COL area.
Pick a cheaper college.
Save more.
SAH to maximize aid but know you will minimize retirement savings. And vacations. And everything else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's kind of maddening when you are full pay at colleges and your kid's roommates get substantial aid and live much nicer lives than your DC kids do.

I have 2 in college and we are full pay all around with a DC income of $400K. My kids' middle America roommates are both (fr and soph) on 50%+ aid but have cars on campus, much fancier clothing, have all sorts of spending money for eating off campus. My kids have never owned a car, eat in the dining hall full time, etc.

There is something to be said for living in a LCOL area and making under $200K. You go to college for free or at half cost but still have the same lifestyle outside of school as those of us making almost twice the income in a HCOL town.

Yea you've been on here complaining before. But the truth is, you know nothing about your kids' roommates except what your kids tell you, and your kids sound petty and nasty.

I haven't said a word about this on here before.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is a segment of the population that forgets all their otherwise solid financial habits when it comes to their kids attending college.

Don’t spend beyond your means.

If you get financial aid, awesome. If your kid gets merit, awesome. If you’re stuck, like us, at full pay, make the rational financial choice according to your ability. Your kid will be fine.

I feel like when parents say they will go into debt so their kids can go to a name brand school they are missing the forest for the trees.

Our job as parents is to help launch our kids successfully into the world. One of the most important parts of that is teaching financial responsibility. If you can’t afford a luxury car, you should not buy it. Everyone is getting to the same spot, luxury car or not (again, if you normalize for incoming test scores, etc, with very few exceptions).

We are teaching our kids to make huge purchases based on keeping up with the Jones’. This is not a financially responsible way to live. To go into debt to chase name brands at such an impressionable time of life is the opposite of teaching kids financial responsibility.

Look, it doesn’t harm me if other parents want to go deep into debt to pay for a name brand luxury. At the end of the day that is their choice. But I sense the value of that name brand education ultimately might be more than offset by the unsustainable message it sends those kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So I started checking the net price calculators. We are both feds and have been for 20-plus years, with plenty of promotions. Own our little rowhouse. Almost paid off. 20 years of TSP. 2 kids, strictly DCPS. Old car, limited spending, lots of savings. No medical bills.

We’re gonna be at max for ability to pay even though we aren’t living in champagne and caviar. Right?

I just need to count my blessings right? We’ve had stability and ability to pay even if we aren’t living high on the hog. People with more precarious lives deserve the lower price. Right?

I guess merit aid is possible - first kid did great on PSAT. But we’re still likely to just pay full freight even then because if he applies to a reach school EA or ED we’ll say yes, right?

He doesn't have to go to a reach school, but yes if he does you will be full pay. We are in the same boat. You can look down a tier and he will get merit.

[Anonymous]

It gets easier when you realize you’re not alone.

In real life, I don’t think I know any dual feds with 2+ kids who have sent them to full-pay privates in the last 10-12 years. Many of the parents went to those schools. But to send their kids there is just irrational.

The kids who are going to those schools from the DMV are richer or poorer, or they have some kind of special circumstances: family money, a parent who works at a university that has some kind of tuition benefit, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's kind of maddening when you are full pay at colleges and your kid's roommates get substantial aid and live much nicer lives than your DC kids do.

I have 2 in college and we are full pay all around with a DC income of $400K. My kids' middle America roommates are both (fr and soph) on 50%+ aid but have cars on campus, much fancier clothing, have all sorts of spending money for eating off campus. My kids have never owned a car, eat in the dining hall full time, etc.

There is something to be said for living in a LCOL area and making under $200K. You go to college for free or at half cost but still have the same lifestyle outside of school as those of us making almost twice the income in a HCOL town.

There is no reason your kids can’t have nice things or a car when mommy and daddy make 400k. These are all just choices you’re making.